janestclair

I'm almost 40 and I've never changed a diaper either. I have no kids, I didn't babysit as a kid, and I've yet to babysit my one year old niece. I'll probably wait until she's potty trained to volunteer for babysitting duty.

Yeah, that's some kind of bullshit there. There is no double presents. I only have a godfather as I was baptized in a hurry in the hospital, but I sure as hell didn't get any extra gifts from him. My mom just knew that if something happened, he would take care of me, and also my sister, even though he was only my godparent. My parents were godparents to a cousin of mine, and the only "extra" gift I can recall is that they bought the christening gown. If she's holding on to that resentment for so long that the kids in question are now adults, she has some serious issues.

Asparagus is my favorite vegetable, and I eat a ton of it, despite the smell. Interestingly enough, not only do you need a gene to produce the smell, you also need a different gene to perceive the smell. So if you don't smell it, it could be that you don't produce the smell, or that you do and just can't smell it. And now the word "smell" looks funny.

Good luck with the interview! I thought teachers had the market cornered on ridiculous numbers of interviews. Guess not. For my current position teaching high school, I had 3 separate interviews (supervisor, assistant principal, and assistant superintendent), an essay and sample lesson plan, and a demo lesson in front of kids. I thought that was pretty excessive, but at least it only took two weeks from start to finish. I've been there 14 years, and now the process is dragged out so long we frequently lose good candidates because they get offers elsewhere, leaving us with the dregs who did not. It's a real problem.

Nice work @bilgistic. I so need to do that with my computer cables. But I'm sure it's dust bunny hell back there and that puts me off it. I concur. I think we are an anomaly. I wear a size XS and a 0, and it's only because I'm very petite. As in, so petite that petite pants still need to be shortened. For the longest time I was wearing clothes that were actually too big, and once I figured that out and started wearing the right size it looked like I'd dropped 25 pounds instead of the 10 that I really lost post college. Most of that was from my chest, because of course it was. I've definitely done that too. Nude colored leggings should not be a thing.

It was a Mazda. Interior was pristine, save for the airbag dust. Exterior was a disaster.

I am thankful that the safety features in my car worked as intended and I walked away from a fairly serious accident with a bruise and some general soreness from the seat belt. Assuming my car is totaled (more than likely) I will absolutely be buying the exact same car. She was only 2 (not even) and I'm sad, but glad to still be here.

I had a pretty serious car accident (with airbag deployment etc) outside of a work training the other day. I have zero recollection of the accident only starting to go from a stop sign and then airbag dust. A good portion of my coworkers showed up on the scene, found my eyeglasses that had gone flying, gave me hugs, made me laugh, and one even drove me to get checked at the ER. I'm fine, though at the time I was in a state of shock for sure. My boss, the psychopath who has the not flattering nickname of RC, or raging see you next Tuesday, was notified of the accident by another coworker because obviously, I'm missing the training. Have I heard a peep from her asking how I am? That would be a no. I'm also pissed because if it wasn't for that stupid training, I wouldn't have been anywhere near that location, and hence, not had that accident which is now going to cost me a shit ton of money to crawl out from under, to say nothing of the emotional trauma. I love my coworkers, but my boss can kiss my royal ass. And who wants to bet I'll be asked for a doctor's note for Friday?

I use "you guys" with my students all the time. I live in NJ and my mother is from the Bronx, so I am also known to also refer to a group as youse, although I don't consciously do it. But yeah, in the north, "you guys" is our version of y'all. I know someone who uses dude all the time, which I have no problem with, but spells it as dood, which irritates the ever-loving shit out of me. People who refer to women as hon or honey should be punched in the mouth. My boss sometimes calls me kiddo. I'm 38 years old. I am not a kiddo.

My car beeps when I walk away from it because I have a proximity key. It's not very loud though. Even my horn is not very loud. It's the one thing I don't like about my car. I so rarely use the horn, and when I do it's so pathetic and wimpy. I once parked next to an identical car to mine, with the license plate only differing by one number. I probably would've tried getting in the wrong car, but there was a lady sitting in my car's twin. That's freaky though.

Holy crap, I had no idea! I guess I always put an a in there because of marathon, and you know, they both involve running. That made me legit laugh out loud. Thank you. I think red eye gravy is something different. Isn't that the gravy that they put on biscuits and gravy in the US? I was in line before in Panera, and the lady in front of me had no idea what she wanted. Meanwhile the line is growing. Please decide what in the hell you want to order BEFORE getting in line so you're not wasting my time. Am I the only one who checks out menus online to avoid such a scenario? I could've gone to the kiosk, but I wanted to pay cash, so I was stuck.

Oh god, the maggots and the spiders are both disgusting and I'm not sure which is worse. So today is the first full day of fall, which makes it officially ok to put out Halloween decorations and such. I don't want to think about Halloween when I'm back to school shopping. On the topic of fall, I think pumpkin spice is officially played out - I saw pumpkin spice flavored dog treats in the store.

I think it was Mitch Hedberg who said an escalator can never be broken, it can only become stairs. Confession time: I have an irrational fear of escalators and avoid them at all costs, especially the down variety. So I would be the person using the stairs right next to the escalator, even though I don't particularly love stairs in public places either. Elevator please.

Allow me to rant about jury duty summons for a minute. My 73 year old mother with kidney failure, limited mobility, and dementia just got a jury duty notice. This is not her first jury duty summons, and every time, she needs to provide yet another doctor's note providing documentation that she is permanently disabled, and thus not fit for jury duty. I am also disabled permanently, and was excused as a result, only to get another summons in the mail 2 weeks later. Why do they not have a file of people who are permanently disabled to pull out of the jury duty pool? It's asinine.

I have never wiped off a can before drinking from it unless there was visible schmutz on it. My mom also used to rinse cantaloupes. It's extra annoying reading labels because "no artificial sweetener" could mean there's stevia or monkfruit in it, both of which are vile. Then you have the fancy beverages which have agave nectar, which is basically another way of saying it's regular sugar. La Croix seltzer has no sweetener in it whatsoever, so that's what I buy all the time. No reading the label, and it's delicious. I've stopped drinking soda at home, so seltzer and plain iced tea are all I drink.

I hope your new teacher orientation is better than mine was. We got no useful information whatsoever, and we went on a bus tour of the schools in the district. I expected it to deal with practical things like lesson plan formats, and how to handle referrals. Nope. It was a cheerleading camp for how great the district is mixed with icebreakers. (Kill me now.) We get an inservice day after Labor Day, so at most I'll be getting a few hours (in between useless meetings) to set up my classroom the day before we have kids in the building. I love teaching, really. I just hate the dog and pony show that goes along with it. Try not to let that bs overwhelm and discourage you, because there will be a lot of it. Just reading that made my teeth hurt. I hate that too, although I don't think I realized until this moment just how much.

WTF? Each other is clearly two words. I have a dear friend (an MD, so he's no dummy, theoretically) who insists on writing "a lot" as one word. It makes me crazy. Not as crazy as "should of" does, but it's up there. Most of the time I really hate leftovers because I don't like having the same thing two days in a row, although there are some things that are better the next day (looking at you, Chinese food). I only have to cook for 3 though, so there are always leftovers because none of us are big eaters. I hate wasting food, but luckily my dad happily eats the leftovers. My older sister who is used to cooking for 10 people was just visiting and she cooked dinner one night - we had leftovers for 3 days and still had more that we froze because I couldn't take another enchilada. And I love enchiladas.

I cleaned my closet a few weeks ago and found mine! No dates or anything on it, but I remember my great aunt made it, so I kept it. They also have seven cervical vertebrae in their neck, the same as every other vertebrate. They're just really big. And the longest recurrent laryngeal nerve at something like 5 meters long, because evolution is crazy. It's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the good enough.

@JTMacc99, thanks for all the info! That was very helpful! The modem is definitely older than 6 years. I'm only getting 28Mbs on my hardwired computer instead of the advertised 60Mbs, with similarly slow speeds on Wifi devices, so it must be the modem. I also have my phone through the modem, so I'll check out that second modem you linked to. Thanks again!

I have Optimum for cable, and my internet speed is noticeably slower despite them advertising it as faster, and they just added a $5 monthly modem fee. I've had cable internet pretty much since it's been a thing, and never once paid a modem fee. I need to find out what modem I can use, buy my own damn modem, and give them theirs back, because screw that. Or maybe I should call, and threaten to cancel my cable to get a discount.

If it makes you feel any better (I doubt it), I am 37, and I too have chin hairs and a rogue, white eyebrow hair that sticks out perpendicular to my face. I have a few grey head hairs too, and they're coarser and also stick straight up. Yank those bastards right out. All of them.

My best friend got her second heart transplant yesterday. I am beyond thrilled, even though I know from experience it's not going to be easy. It's been a 10 year, uphill battle, and now we get a fresh start. So thankful to whoever donated their organs, but still sad for their family.

I gave up on Thirteen and have been watching on the PBS website. I don't get why we're so far behind either.

Good. Let it turn into a complete dumpster fire of a clusterfuck without you. Not your problem. Then when they're begging to have you back, you can tell them to go fuck themselves with something nice and pointy.

That made me gag a little. Of all the foods I hate, and there are a lot, mayo is the absolute worst. Ruins everything it touches, and even the thought of it makes me a little nauseated. Aioli; however, can sometimes be ok, if there's a lot of garlic so that it doesn't actually taste anything like mayo.