Auntie Anxiety

Someone on one of forums called Asuelu “Little Huey.” So apt.

Oh geez. First up is Jay. What a douche he is. Inviting them to your house? Oh, snap.

The last thing anyone wants is for Asuelu’s balls to be sweaty. It might hinder his ability to impregnate Kolonic. Oh, wait.....

I’ve been thinking about my 90 Day Fiancé New Year’s resolutions: #1) Work on myself, babe. #2) Keep my closets proper. #3) Order a case of Samoas and then re-order another case in about 5 months, to be delivered nine months from that date. #4) Wear a penis necklace to my niece’s wedding.

Jay knew he wasn’t ready to get married. He had second thoughts and misgivings from the jump, yet at no time did we see him be straight with Trashley about it. If nothing else, I would expect a 20yo to have some semblance of a conscience. Sadly, the “my love can change him” trope is common among women of all ages. If I could, I’d scream from the rooftops that if you think you are going to change someone, you’re NOT. They are who they are. I wish I could understand what went through Ashley’s head when she considered Jay to be a good marriage prospect. Aside from his good looks, charm and sexual prowess, he didn’t have a lot to offer a 30 year old mother of two.

I still can’t believe that Eric the Haggard threw his kids over for the likes of Leida. It would have been bad enough, but for her? Does she have a magical vagina or something? I can never imagine pushing my kids aside for anyone, much less a spoiled, entitled poseur who will be looking for her next victim after she wakes up to the fact that Eric will always be a depressed underachiever who cannot provide all the niceties that Leida has come to expect.

You’re being so unfair. How could Assley possibly have known that he was going to cheat on her? I mean aside from the fact that he was cheating throughout their courtship and Assley didn’t care because she wasn’t in Jamaica when he was doing it. She was quite certain that would all magically stop once he had a wedding ring in his finger.

Next week we will be discussing our 90 Day Fiance New Year’s Resolutions. You know you have some!

After last week, I thought it couldn’t get stupider. I was wrong.

Best wishes for a happy and healthy holiday. Hope Santa has you on his “nice” list. I’ll spend some time deciding which tiara to wear for the weddings next week. Larissa isn’t the only queen.

Ashley’s friend, Natalie, is now riding her scooter and laughing.

Only took a week for Jay to cheat. Now Jay will swoop in and give some bogus excuse and a Trashley buys it because she is an idiot.

Next week we all need to wear gowns or tuxedos to get into the live chat.

Sorry, Sis. Not your call if Kolonic wants to throw her life away.

I spy yet another mesh t-shirt.

Are those friends at the bachelorette “party” the same ones that went out to dinner with Colt and Larissa, just wearing different wigs and makeup?

I wish I was at that party. What a blast!

Was Debbie carrying around a thermos of “water?”

Debbie and Larissa join hands and sing Kumbaya after their nails dry.

So Asuelu forced Kolonic to have a second baby with him? She was an innocent bystander, apparently. Maybe she really got pregnant from a toilet seat.

Guess Eric never got the memo that a leopard doesn’t change its spots.

Eric, grow a freaking backbone. You’re talking about your kids!

Proper picnic table.

Oy, now I have to check TWO chats? Drogo, have mercy on me.

Olga, you are going to regret ever knowing Steven, much less bring the mother of his child and his fiancée.