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Obviously, Deacon's brain isn't exactly operating at peak capacity, but if he has two brain cells left to rub together, he'll ask Hope to keep the ring for him, with some excuse about his apartment not being all that secure. Because if he brings that ring home with him, Sheila will sniff it out immediately. And then his best case scenario is her deciding he has it to propose to her. But, given that she knows Ridge just left Brooke, she'll most likely do the math on that one. So then Deacon's in danger, Brooke is in danger, and, just to fuck with the two of them, Hope and Beth are in danger. Instead of Hope and Liam getting into any kind of Taytot silliness over their respective fathers and Brooke, I want to see the two of them just laugh, grab some popcorn, and sit back to watch the show. They can dust off Wyatt, and he can join the two of them in gossiping and laughing over the Deacon/Bill rivalry. (Flo can stay in whatever hole she's fallen into offscreen). Speaking of Wyatt, did Taylor even mention that she bought the house from him? Or are we just pretending that it's been sitting there waiting for Taylor and Ridge to claim it? Ridge could not look any less into Taylor every single time she's not looking directly at his face. And Taylor giggling with Steffy over how cool it would be to take Ridge to St. Thomas and propose to him, while he's still married, is just so ridiculous. She's like a teenager with her first boyfriend as opposed to a psychiatrist in her 50's(?) who has had this exact man leave her multiple times. Although her proposing to him right now would be hilarious, just to watch Ridge get the flop sweats.

So, what exactly is Deacon's plan if Brooke actually accepted? How did he envision that going for him when he got back home to Sheila? Speaking of Sheila, I've decided what I want to see happen with her, with regard to her wanting to get back in Finn's life. She can show up with "amnesia," claiming she doesn't remember anything after Finn and Steffy's wedding, or after Christmas Eve when Taylor talked Steffy into letting her come over. And I want Taylor to buy every single bit of it, become friends with her again, and start pressuring Steffy to let her come around again. (And somehow this gets her out of the charges against her, or a lawyer manages to get her a deal with probation after world renowned psychiatrist Taylor argues on her behalf). I can just totally see Taylor insisting that she knows there's good in Sheila, because Sheila saved her. And I want Brooke to not have a single fuck to give about Sheila going around Steffy's family. Eventually, of course, it all blows up, and Taylor once again looks like the worst shrink ever.

I wasn't watching then. Reading that, it makes Taylor even dumber for jumping right into taking Ridge back when it's clear he's super pissed off at Brooke about something. How many times are you going to take the exact same ride, girl? Also, when Ridge eventually leaves skid marks running back to Brooke, I so very much want Hope to, with a big smile on her face, say to Steffy, "your father knows his heart."

Isn't she also working with just one kidney (Flo's)? Not that I wouldn't be perfectly happy to pretend Flo never existed. Brooke, honey, what do you think Ridge has been doing alone in Aspen with Taylor? Chatting? He's been off fucking another woman for a couple days. Even if he does come home and say he realizes he was wrong, your answer should be "yep, you were, now go live in your wrongness with your mistress and get the fuck out of my house." Steffy's living room isn't so big that none of the three idiots would have been able to see that was a picture of Brooke Ridge was mooning over while Taylor gushed to the other two idiots about how happy she is. All I could think while I watched those four today was how much I'm looking forward to them turning on each other when Douglas finally drops a dime on his father. Steffy is going to insist that daddy would have gone back to mommy on his own, but now that Thomas made Brooke a victim, he's blown it. Taylor is probably going to want to peace out on all of them. Ridge is going to be pissed at Thomas (although also simultaneously grateful that he has a reason to go running right back to Brooke). You know, I'm happy that my parents have had a long 53 years and counting happy marriage and all, but I do not want to sit around and beg them to tell me every detail of their romance, and I doubt they have any desire to sit down and share it with me and my brother. Keep a little something for yourselves, Taylor and Ridge. Although every single time Taylor gushes about how romantic it all is and how this is really how things are meant to be, I have a little evil giggle over how wrong she's going to be proven soon enough. Seriously, though, those Brooke and Hope scenes should absolutely have been the two of them packing up Ridge's shit to throw at him when he finally meanders over there to fuck with Brooke's head a little more. (Because we all know he's going to tell her, again, that he'll always love her, so he can ensure she's hanging on that hook.)

So, just to be clear, Steffy, when Daddy picks Brooke, it's because Brooke is manipulating him and pulling the strings, but it's insulting for Hope to suggest that Taylor was at all responsible for Daddy picking her, because "he knows his heart"? Wait, we didn't see Thomas playing his CPS phone call today. How are we supposed to know what's going on? Speaking of the call, come on Brooke, do the freaking math. Ridge was asking you about the CPS call before he left. You told him before it happened that it was something you would do if you felt you needed to. He asked you if you did it. Then, he was gone, and when you went to Aspen, he told you he wanted you to admit to something. How can you sit there with zero idea as to what he thinks you did? We know you didn't do it, but since there isn't anything you can point to that you did do, it only makes sense to think back over your most recent conversations with him and wonder "does he think I made that call?" It's clearly the big issue that was on his mind before he left. I mean, at least when we had months of daily "I don't know why I took a drink" pondering, there were absolutely no breadcrumbs that led to "Sheila switched the labels on the champagne." But you've got breadcrumbs now. I don't expect her to figure out the whole voice app thing, but she should be able to hazard a guess that Ridge doesn't believe she didn't make the call.

"Yes, Carter, we're all sad about your love life, even though I hated that bitch you love and am glad to see the back of her, but can you stop bringing down the room, because I'm trying to hijack everyone's work day to gloat about how I got my mommy and daddy to bang in Aspen. Be sensitive to my joy, will you?" I would not have blamed Paris if she'd let out a little giggle at the news about Quinn. More Bill/Deacon scenes, please. I don't care what they're about, just give me more. Hope shutting down Steffy's "my mommy has integrity" with some reality was great. More of that, please. Are we going to get daily scenes of Thomas mentally masturbating over his CPS call? Can we get to the part where Douglas blows the lid off of this stupidity already?

My issue with Quinn's reason is that there was just such a short turn around between the bike ride and the breakup. Did she really think, that recently, that she was going to want to, and be able to, give him what he wanted? He was at the altar with a woman who wanted to give him all those things. And she busted into that, making him believe she was all in for the same things. Then, what, a couple months later, she went "eh, never mind"? Was she not aware, when she busted up that wedding, that she was around 50 years old and had already raised her child to adulthood? Maybe that could have been mitigated by actually giving us the breakup scenes. Let us see Quinn explain herself. Was she just reeling from walking in on Eric and Donna, and then Eric urged her to go get Carter, so she reacted? Did she think that Carter understood that kids were off the table if they got together, while he thought she understood that kids were absolutely on the table for him? And Carter needs to show some kind of growth from this. He can't jump 100 percent into being in love with Katie after one or two kisses. He needs to step back and make sure this is something that could have the future he wants. Let's see him have the "do you see yourself having more children?" conversation, so that he doesn't fully invest in another relationship that doesn't have the possibility of being what he's looking for. And Katie's health is obviously an issue there, so, if she did see more kids as a possibility, they would need to discuss what that would look like and whether they're both up for what that is, whether it's adoption or surrogacy. He has to have learned something from all of this, otherwise it's even more pointless.

I could swear I remember reading that both KKL and SC have said "no" to the idea of Brooke/Liam. Which is kind of disturbing in and of itself, because it means someone had to have brought it up behind the scenes. "And I'd know, because Steffy set up a webcam when she lit all those candles."

The only upside if that Thomas/Hope scene wasn't a dream, would be if Thomas got that close to finally getting Hope, and then she finds out about the CPS call, and he has nobody to blame but himself for ruining his shot.

The poor guy, the finally put him with Quinn when RS was on her way out the door, and now they're going to pair him with Katie, when HT isn't around very much? Would have been better off just leaving him with offscreen Quinn for a while longer until any kind of real pairing other than "hey, these two characters are both single" comes along.

You know, I think there could actually be something interesting in Steffy realizing that, because she grew up seeing Brooke always "winning" Ridge over her sainted mother, she came to believe that she had to be "like Brooke" to win a man over. And she internalized the same caricature of Brooke that Thomas was laying out during his confrontation with Brooke - the hypersexual, lingerie-wearing seductress. And when she wanted to steal Bill from Katie and Liam from Hope, she did what she thought Brooke would do. She rips Brooke for sleeping with all the men in her family, yet she herself had to have a paternity test between a father and son, and she's been with that father's other adult son, too. And one of the reasons she's never been able to let go of her thing for Liam is because she was supposed to "win" over St. Hope. But not only did her WWBD mentality allow her to lose to Hope, but it means that, just like her mother, she lost to a Logan. Of course, we could also have Hope realizing that she's such a doormat most of the time, and so obsessed with keeping the peace and doing the right thing because of the circumstances of her birth. Like her existence had already caused a lifetime of drama while she was a fetus, and now she spends her life trying to somehow atone for the sins of her parents. Because Hope needs to assert herself more than just about any other soap character I've ever seen, but 99.9 percent of the time, she seems absolutely terrified of what will happen if she does. I feel like there are only two times where she's been unapologetically like "no, this is what is happening, period" - when she reclaimed Beth and Steffy and Ridge tried to demand that she leave her with Steffy, and when Steffy had her addiction, and Hope stood firm (alongside Liam) on Kelly staying with them. Obviously, most soaps have characters who were fucked up, to varying degrees by their parents' shit, because that's pretty much the nature of soaps and the longevity over generations. But, this show does such a good job of showing characters living the lives their parents' fuck-ups kind of led them to, both in Ridge's generation and in the Steffy/Thomas/Hope generation, but they never seem to have any of the characters actually realize that they're doing it and try to break out of that.

I should absolutely know better, but I just love them so much. Also, I feel like being with Brooke will keep Bill on our screens. I don't think he'll get much screen time, beyond initially getting together, if they pair him with Li. Of course, in my dreams, when the truth comes out, Brooke tells Ridge to go fuck himself for not even trusting her enough to talk to her about the call. And then we get the Spencer and Logan families uniting to take the Marone-Forresters down. Related - something that really, really bugs me is how Taylor's family are "the Forresters" and Brooke's family are "the Logans." Both of Ridge's families are "his Forrester families," because being his family is what makes them Forresters. Brooke is marred to a Forrester. Three of Brooke's four kids are Forresters. Brooke's sister is involved with the head of the Forrester family. Hope's son is a Forrester. They're not outsiders in the family. So why is Taylor a Forrester and Brooke isn't? Steffy's "real Forresters" bullshit is ridiculous, because it's not the Forrester side of her family that has an issue with the Logans. The Forrester side of her family loves the Logans. This is a Hayes vs. Logan situation. (I know Hayes isn't actually Taylor's maiden name, but the show seems to have forgotten that). That just worked my last nerve when I was reading a spoiler article that was referring to Taylor and her brats as "Ridge's Forrester family." Also, since I know I'm not likely to get much of what I want out of the way this all plays out, can I at least have one little thing - I want Taylor to go off on Steffy after Ridge dumps her to go running back to Brooke. Because you know that the first words out of Steffy's mouth are going to be "you need to go after him and stop him! You belong together!" I so badly want to see Taylor to tell her to shut the hell up, and that it's her 24/7 pushing that led to her being in this exact position.

Is there anything creepier than lighting sex candles for your parents? As soon as I saw Taylor walking in and seeing the candles, I knew for certain that there was no way Ridge had set that up for her. That was all their creepily inappropriate daughter. And of course she wasn't leaving because she misses her kids and husband (who just got back from the fucking dead). Nope, she wanted to leave so mommy and daddy can bang. Ick. Ick. Ick. I'm kind of surprised she didn't set up a webcam in the bedroom so that she and Thomas could pop some corn and watch the playback when she gets back to LA. Confession time - while I am intrigued by the Bill/Li possibilities, I'm also a huge sucker for the the chemistry between DD and KKL. So, I'm torn. If the show was really going to commit to it this time, and not fuck it up like they did with the stupid building, I would absolutely want to see Brooke/Bill. But, if they're just going to have her dump him after 10 minutes when they find out Thomas made the CPS call and Ridge comes running back, then no, because then when he does move right on to Li, it will kind of linger over that pairing like it's a rebound. Either way, though, they really need to stop having Bill beg Katie to get back together. It's so clear that, while he does love and respect her, it's not in that way. She's just comfortable to go back to when he's feeling lonely, because they have history and a child together. I hope Katie finds out he went right to Brooke this time and it reinforces for her that telling him goodbye was the only move she could make now. Although now it looks like they're going to move her right in to being Carter's "love the one you're with." HT has such limited availability that they should just bring on a short term character to sweep her off her feet and then whisk her away. Katie can pop back in for visits here and there. It feels to me like the show has changed direction on multiple pairings over the past few months or so. It seemed like they were positioning Deacon to be with either Brooke or Taylor, whichever woman didn't end up with Ridge, and now he's involved with Sheila, and that stupidity should keep him from being a viable possibility for either woman. It seemed even recently like they were contemplating actually going with Hope/Thomas, even if just for a short time, but I think they're speeding up the "Thomas is still evil" storyline. And Bill/Li seemed like a given right after he helped her rescue Finn, but that feels up in the air to me now. It seems like they lost interest in writing for Li once she served the purpose of getting Princess Steffy's husband back to her. Maybe she'll get some more air time once Sheila inevitably kidnaps Hayes? What's the over/under on how many times we're going to see flashbacks of Thomas using the voice app to mimic Brooke's voice before he's finally busted?

In a lot of ways, I felt like the finale was almost more about her finding her way than Allison (or anyone else).

Oh, Brooke, come on, you no longer have the "but I don't want to upset my husband" reason to not tear that bitch to pieces. How did you miss the chance to go off on her instead of letting her sit there and gloat? And "this isn't about you, Brooke"? Because, of course, as always, it's about Steffy and what Steffy wants. And, of course Ridge didn't say shit to Brooke before he went to get Taylor back. What if he told Brooke he wants a divorce, then went to Aspen, and Taylor had somehow managed to hold onto that tiny fragment of self respect she was trying to cultivate last week and turned him down? Can't cut one loose until he knows the other one is in place. Seriously, of all the shit Ridge has done, this would, if I was Brooke, be the straw that broke the camel's back. He just flies to Aspen and tells Taylor he wants to spend his life with her without saying a word to his wife about ending things? And he's too much of a wimp to tell her why? Even if you accept the "oh no, the former FC employee could lose his job" thing, he can still say to Brooke "I know for a fact that you made that call, and you lied to my face when I asked you about it." Forget her being one of the great loves of his life, he doesn't have a thimble full of respect for her if this is how he handles all of this. And then he has the nerve to stand there and tell her how much he will always love her. No, asshole, you don't. If you had any love for her, you would be honest with her, and you would have told her before you left for Aspen. Instead, you flee like a coward and then act like she's out of line for coming after you to find out what the fuck is happening. Deacon, oh, honey. No. Now you're all schmoopy with Sheila? And you're OK with her stealing from your job, creating even more risk for you? I was rooting for you to form some kind of family with Hope and the kids, but now I just want you to skip town with Sheila (and a kidnapped Hayes), and I hope that Hope doesn't keep giving you chances. I can see why you were freaked out initially when you were put on the spot and feared you'd be seen as guilty if they found her in your apartment, but, come on. You've had time to think. Time to find a lawyer and get their help. After you had your scare with Hope showing up and seeing her in your apartment, you should have been out. Has there ever been a less climactic reveal than Thomas faking the CPS call from Brooke? Was there a viewer out there who hadn't figured that one out already? I'm so looking forward to watching the life drain out of Ridge and Finn as they end up stuck in 24/7 "we're family!!" celebrations with Steffy, Thomas, and Taylor, complete with Steffy giving nightly toasts to "we're family! And we're together!"

Just go to Twitter and check out the replies on any of the show's tweets about the storyline. You'll feel like there's some alternate version of the show that they're seeing. All I could think during the past two days of Eric/Donna/Thomas scenes is how Eric doesn't notice how fucking creepy Thomas is behaving. He's all but twirling his mustache. MA is playing him super creepy. Taylor gives Steffy this big speech about how "we need to trust" Ridge. Then turns to watch him with Brooke. Yeah, Taylor, that's not actually trust. I mean, I don't blame you for not trusting him, but this is just another example of you pretending to be so virtuous when you're just as much of a schemer as your kids. When the truth comes out that Thomas is still a manipulative evil shithead, especially if he manipulates Douglas (or worse) when Douglas is inevitably the first to figure out this crap, Hope had really better forget the casual arrangement thing and get a real custody decision. At some point "it's good for Douglas to have a relationship with his father" needs to take a backseat to that father using and abusing him as part of his various evil plots.

I'm telling you, I cackled when Ridge promised, "in front of my beautiful daughter, that I will always protect your heart." Yeah, that'll last a few months, tops. And Taylor is an idiot if she doesn't know damn well that's how it works. She knows he came after he because he's pissed at Brooke about something. So pissed that he couldn't even talk about it, but she thinks him coming to her is because he legitimately chose her with a clear head and heart? Looks like the shine is wearing off Dad's (Grandpa's) House of Fun for Douglas. I just like to think that this actor knows Thomas ain't shit, and he can't help playing his scenes like that. Also, it looks like we're probably going to be in for another round of Douglas being the one to bust his father for his sins. My family has the same Apple sign-in (so we can share purchases, and, when my son was little, we could keep an eye on what he was doing) and with some apps, activity on one device is available in the same app on the other devices on our account. I'm guessing we're going to get some story where Douglas finds the file for the Brooke phone call to CPS on that app, and he tells someone (probably Eric or Donna, since they've featured in both scenes where he's used the app). I'd be happy to leave Ridge to Taylor, but I uberhate Steffy and Thomas "winning." They are going to be the most smug assholes. Thomas already was with Donna in today's episode. And, good Lord, Thomas and Steffy's dialogue from the moment Steffy spotted her mommy and daddy kissing, has been even more little kids who want mommy and daddy back together than usual. Both the writing and the way the two of them deliver the lines. And Steffy has talked to her brother about 5 or 6 times since landing in Aspen. How many times has she talked to her husband and children during that same time? She was just so devastated by Finn's "death," and now she can barely remember his name in the face of cooing over mommy and daddy holding hands. Also, yeah, Ridge and Taylor are so into each other that the only thing they can think of to do after their joyous and romantic reunion is sit on the couch so Taylor can giggle with their daughter like school girls. The passion, y'all, it's melting TV screens around the globe.

The Steffy/Taylor mother/daughter relationship is so fucked up. So, when Steffy was grieving her husband, and so deeply depressed that the show heavily implied she might be suicidal over it, and the only solution was for Steffy to go overseas for counseling, Taylor didn't go with her to help with her kids or be another resource, WRP that she is, because she needed to stay home to flirt with another woman's husband. Now, Taylor needs to get out of town for a a little vacation to clear her head, and Steffy is going to leave her still rather newly returned from the dead husband, and their kids, to go run off with her. Taylor needs no help, she's not suffering a mental health crisis. She's just going off to contemplate her romantic future. But she can't possibly be alone for that, while her daughter absolutely could be alone with two young children while suffering a mental health crisis. Seriously, their relationship is fucked up. And Hope is not only being unnecessarily aggressively snarky at her mother, but also about her husband. "Now you sound just like Liam." Like Liam is her enemy now? I swear, if they are working on even temporarily having Hope want Thomas... That is the one couple that just should not happen. Not after the shit he pulled with Beth. And, really, Hope should not only recognize the same old shit from Thomas right now, but she should also recognize in herself, how she's stupidly trusting him in the face of everyone who loves her telling her "no, don't do it, girl. You in danger." Learn a lesson, Hope. What I really want to happen now with Ridge is for him to go running to Taylor, pouring his heart out about how he never should have trusted Brooke, and it's always been her. And then Taylor can take a pass, saying "no, this is always how this goes, and you always end up going back to her eventually. I'm not playing consolation price or placeholder any more." Then, when it comes out that Thomas called CPS himself (or staged an entire fake CPS investigation), and Ridge goes back to Brooke, she turns him down, too, for not trusting her and, once again, not being able to see how dangerous his son is. Let both of them be done with his bullshit, leaving him alone. What I'm guessing is a bit more likely is that Ridge goes running after Taylor and tells her he chooses her. They have one night together, then Brooke shows up and Taylor finds out the whole truth - that Ridge didn't choose her so much as he was pissed at Brooke, and she realizes that this is how it always is, so she shuts him out. Bonus points if she tells her kids to shut the fuck up already every time they bring the subject up again. (As opposed to her current "oh, you guys, shut up, stop...we really are good together, aren't we? No, stop! <giggle>"

The writers seem to have just decided that Kelly is Finn's kid. It's ridiculous that Liam isn't bringing up to Steffy her hypocrisy here, and demanding that Kelly start living with him for a while. Yeah, the CPS workers just asking Douglas like three questions while his father stood right behind them where he could potentially intimidate Douglas was freaking ridiculous. I want to see the caseworkers question Douglas alone and ask him "do you ever feel afraid of your father?" And Douglas can respond something like "not anymore," leading to him telling them all about what an asshole he was when he was using Douglas to get Hope to marry him. Let's see Thomas ending up with only supervised visitation for a while as a result of him calling CPS on himself to set up Brooke. I would laugh so damn hard.

Thomas was smirking both when the agents first left and when Ridge angrily called Brooke. He clearly was behind this. You know, I was rooting for Finn when he was stuck with Sheila, but now he's dead to me. He's really just indulging all of Steffy's bullshit. Has he just figured out that he won't keep getting laid if he doesn't indulge his crazy wife's Parent Trap fantasies? Speaking of which, when Steffy bitched about how Brooke is "interfering in my parents' relationship," I was waiting for a bolt of lightning to strike her. Bitch, you've been interfering in Brooke's marriage all this time. A wife isn't "interfering" in her husband's relationship with his ex-wife. I would say this doesn't really matter as much, because the kids in question are adults, but, since they act like they're 10, it still matters. Taylor is the worst kind of co-parent with an ex. Telling her kids that Brooke hates them because they're part of her is the kind of bullshit that really messes kids up when their parents are divorced and remarried. And might I remind Taylor, while she's sitting there talking about how Brooke will just manipulate anyone to get what she wants, that it was just months ago that she was basically telling Hope "yeah, sure, Liam is your husband, and you're raising children together, but you're just going to have to step the fuck off of him because my widdle pwincess needs him to play placeholder for her dead husband. You don't want to be a selfish bitch about this, do you?" I can't wait to see how Taylor and Steffy justify Thomas putting his son through a CPS report just to score points on Brooke.

Exactly. How many times have we seen Thomas just walk into Hope's house recently? If Thomas wants to push some idea that Brooke isn't welcome there, then he can go talk to the man who owns that house. It won't go well for him, though. Bonus points if Eric points out to him "you practically handpicked Brooke as your child's grandmother when you decided to go after making Hope his mother." I will be stunned if that isn't exactly what happened. Brooke told Ridge that it's something she might do in the future if she has reason to. She didn't say it's something she's going to do imminently, but look how fast it happened after Thomas heard she'd mentioned it. And look at that timing of him coming home right when they got there. And we all knew that app was going to come into play at some point for some scheme of Thomas's. I'm just surprised that this is how it seems it's being used instead of him using it to make one of Hope/Liam think the other is cheating. My guess is he thinks he can get a two-fer on this one. First, he'll turn Ridge completely against Brooke. Second, he'll get Hope defending him and upset with her mother because "Douglas is traumatized by those agents showing up." I like to tell myself that it's because Ridge, deep down, knows Thomas is a shitty father, so he feels like he needs to go over there and check on things. That's probably not it, but it would be a nice twist.

Yeah, after seeing Ridge today telling Thomas that Brooke said she'd call CPS if needed, I'm convinced Thomas is going to beat her to the punch and then blame her. And now I just remembered the phone app. That's where it's coming into play, isn't it? He's somehow going to use it to have Brooke's voice placing the call.

I think Brooke's initial reaction wasn't so much that it's weird to cut an apple with a knife, but just the visceral reaction to "psycho holding a knife." And then he kind of proved her point by aiming it menacingly in her direction while threatening her. When Taylor said she was headed into the office, I just automatically assumed FC, since she likes to spend her days there to moon over her asshole ex. Then it occurred to me "oh, maybe she's actually going to her own office to work? Maybe?" And I swear they are alternating writers for her. One day, she'll be giggling and plotting with Steffy over how to get Ridge back, the next day she'll be pretending to admonish her kids for that same plotting, and then the day after that she'll be coming on to Ridge. Speaking of Ridge. Ick. So he swings by to see Taylor first thing in the morning, to make sure she's still on the hook, then he goes home, after flirting with his ex-wife, to make out with his current wife. He's going for the Olympic gold in Waffling Asshole.

I had totally forgotten that this was a thing that happened, since I didn't watch at the time, and only read about in SOD when it was happening, but didn't Thomas have a thing for Brooke when he was around his early 20's or so? You'd think if his entire existence as an adult was shit because he overheard her say mean things about him when he was a child, that he wouldn't have been so thirsty to bang her. Also, again, I wasn't watching at the time, but am I right in assuming this whole "I heard the things you said about me when I was just a kid" rant is a retcon and not something that was actually ever seen on screen?

You know, some of the spoilers I've seen make it sound like Ridge is fully sided with Brooke after he looks into who called CPS. So, that would make sense, that Thomas did it himself and tried to make everyone think Brooke did it. I've also seen that there's something that makes Ridge fear that Thomas hasn't changed very much. And that would make so much more sense as the event that leads him to feel that way than Brooke telling him about the menacing apple knife. I mean, we know how creepy and threatening he was through that scene, but it's also the kind of thing that Ridge would write off as Brooke being too hard on Thomas. Calling CPS on himself would show that he's still engaging in the same kind of premeditated evil manipulation that he was when he was using Douglas to lure Hope in and covering up that her baby was alive. Add in that Ridge knows that Thomas knew about Sheila getting Brooke drunk and kept it secret, and I could see how Ridge would become concerned that Thomas hasn't changed after all.