CousinAmy

I don't mean this as a slam against Will, just what I see about he relates to typical boys his age. Usually we can tell from the first week of school who needs a consult for services. He would definitely fall into that category. And it's very possible he's receiving services for more than just speech, and they are not showing that. In fact, it would be inappropriate to share that info on a TV show.

It's not just his stature, it's his speech, and his behavior. I know a lot of boys his age, and you would never mistake them for toddlers (In our program toddlers are defined at 18 months to 3 years, when they leave that program they become preschoolers.) And then, there is use of language. Our boys are capable of asking complex questions, speaking in complete sentences, and they chatter among themselves all day long. By the time we return from winter break, just two weeks sees a burst of maturity and you know they are on the way to kindergarten. It's not a matter of height, Will operates like a toddler.

I have only one memory of age two and my mother swore it was a false memory. (My parents and my brother abandoned me at our house in Queens and as they drove away, I cut my fingers on some glass in the backyard.) She says it must have been a dream. Who knows.

I don't think Will is just plain bad. He's naughty, for sure, and he does act out, but he's basically good-natured and good-hearted and that counts for a lot. He gets along with his little sister and never shows signs of rivalry with her. (My brother, who is 2 1/2 years older than me, remembers feeling resentment that I was born and held onto that for decades.) They do need to tighten up on the consequences when he does something wrong - you should never give up once you've told the child to do something, and they ignore you - but that's something they can still do if they choose to. They are still treating him like a little kid, when at this point his teachers are probably expecting him to act more like his 4 1/2 year-old peers. But Bill and Jen are aware that he's not happy at school, and that's something they can work with his teachers to figure out, and together they can come up with a plan. As for party food the day of the party, there shouldn't have been junk food after the party was over. I don't know how close to bedtime it was, but an apple and some cheese or peanut butter could still be a snack, with some protein and fiber. Enough with the cookies.

I was wondering about a related topic: how they are (or if they are) honoring the history of the countries that the children came from. I know last year they posed them in clothing from their native countries. But could they do more? For example, they changed the children's names when they adopted them. I know that Will was called by different names at different times, but maybe they could have kept the name that he had at the time they took him from the orphanage, or a name that he was most familiar with. Zoey had her own name up till the age of 2, and it was only changed because Jen had picked out the name "Zoey" before they even met her. But keeping their original names would be a link to their history - especially because I think when they are older they will definitely be discussing where they came from. I'm sure Will understands about getting Zoey from the far-away place, but I don't think she understands it yet. Will they someday show her the episode where they picked her up from her orphanage, where she looked so terrified? I think so, but I hope not for a long time.

As a chubby woman, I have to admit I have never heard the expression "chub chub." It seems like a milder word for "chubby." I don't consider that to be a huge slur against my people (chubby people). The day that my BMI crossed over the threshold from "Obese" to "Overweight" I was ecstatic. But I'll probably always be a chub chub so why feel insulted about it? I think expecting Lisa Rinna to make that a teachable moment would be asking her to do something that she may not care about. It would make the viewer feel better, but if it doesn't come from her it would be phony. "Dear daughter, that's an unkind thing to say." Nope, wouldn't buy it from Lisa R.

Actually, they're listed as Consulting Producers, which either means they get more money than if they were just on camera, or that they have a say in what appears on the show. Do they have final approval? They must be OK with the final product or they would presumably stop the show. (And if they did try to get out of their contract, being listed as producers gives them some extra weight in negotiations.) Ack, I see that while I was typing, I'm not the only one to point this out!

Swimming lessons will take on a new urgency if they buy that beach house. I can definitely see both children wandering onto the beach, then the water....

Most kids have pretty busy schedules these days, even when they're not in school. I know a three-year-old who plays soccer after preschool, and some five-year-old boys who play tackle football. I don't have training in special ed, so I can't really speak to Will's challenges, other than he is not a typical four-going-on-five year old, but we know that already. We have never seen him interacting with peers -the kids at his birthday party didn't seem to be his actual playmates, just kids who go to the same gym at the same time. Otherwise we've mostly seen him with adults. Bill thought he'd take the school by storm, because Will is funny and charming to adults. I think that shows how little he knows about children. But the teachers are skilled at facilitating social relationships, so we'll have to trust they know what they're doing. Zoey is more like a typical three-year-old who's just a little behind in her speech, which is why she screams and cries so much. But considering where she came from just a year ago, her progress is amazing. She probably fits in with the other three-year-olds just fine.

As a preschool teacher I beg to differ. Our kids have a full-day program of school; that means they play games (inside and outside), learn social behaviors as well as content areas, eat balanced meals and snack, nap, create artwork, sing and dance, every day. As far as I remember (and my mom backed me up on this) at three I mostly played with her while my brother was in school, and my life was pretty simple. (Going back to the early 1950s). Today's kids not only have full schedules, but many preschools are now connected to Common Core Curriculum, so there are certain markers they need to hit at certain ages, well before they enter kindergarten.

I wonder if they are permitted to put up a solid white fence for complete privacy? The children could certainly play in the front yard, although a picnic table and grill - which many people have in their backyards - might be a bit much there. They don't seem to lack for opportunities to play, though. They seem to go to parks, the beach, and other outdoor attractions, and in school they'll probably have outdoor play, as well.

Also about the food - it seems the "editors" find Will's constant snacking absolutely adorable. They really seem to focus on it. Not meals, which are fine, but candy and empty calories like Goldfish. Are Jen and Bill aware of this, and can this be laid at the blame of production? Or do they encourage it themselves? I'll admit I have a lot of food issues myself, since my Mom not only had an eating disorder (laxative adduction) and obsession with her weight, she also was a health food faddist on top of it. My brother and I were raised on whole wheat bread and saccharin. On top of that, we were kosher. I really struggle to eat healthily which is why Will's snacking is so worrisome to me.

I was thinking about Jen's rapid fire speech, especially during the beach visit. I don't know if she would have spoken so much if she wasn't filming, since neither child talks very much on their own you'd end up with a lot of dead air. So she's doing it more as a form of entertainment to the audience, just as some of the manufactured moments on the show are for entertainment purposes. But I've heard Moms talk rapidly, talk slowly, speak hesitantly, it doesn't mean that any of these ways are wrong. I think the fact that neither parent speaks with any authority to the children is more troubling than the pace of their speech.

I missed last week's show, and caught it on Youtube. The full episode runs about 42 minutes. Someone seems to upload them within a day or two.

What has happened to Kingsley? Does Kim still have him or has he been sent out for rehab?

Little kids can be surprisingly tolerant of others with special needs. They can usually adjust to classmates with difficulties quicker than some adults can. Whether it's a child who has a speech delay, physical challenges, or is smaller than his/her peers, as long as they have some time to get to know each other it usually works out. If Will is disruptive, or whiny, or doesn't want to play with the other children, that could be a problem. But why borrow trouble before it even occurs? It's more likely he'll be fine.

Speaking of burgers, did Kim's daughter marry the Fatburger Prince? (This might be the wrong thread but it's an appropriate question.)

I didn't hear her say anything like that. She said she was bullied in school, had no friends, and she wasn't happy there. It wasn't specific to that town, just how she felt growing up.

I have no idea how Pinterest works! If someone can copy the link, it would be great to post it here.

Yes, I saw last night's episode. I see a difference, though, with being picked up and forced into water, and being safe in Mom's arms in a doctor's office. She wasn't in danger in the doctor's office, and the worst that could happen was being made uncomfortable. But imagine if you're a small child and you are taken into a terrifying environment - and no one is acknowledging your fears. I don't see that that's the best way to teach someone to swim. It's the best way to teach you that if you protest something, someone will just pick you up and deposit you where they want to. Zoey should be able to trust that her feelings will be taken into account.

I think Will is outgrowing those "run away from Mom" days. That's definitely "toddler" behavior, so it's more of an issue for Zoey. She can toddle pretty fast on her little legs, so I could see Jen having trouble keeping up with her. (I doubt that they go anywhere in public without another adult available - we just don't see the person or persons for the most part. If Zoey does manage to run off in the other direction, it's safer to have someone who can run after her and get her before she goes too far. And I'm OK with that. I don't need to see it - I'll suspend my "disbelief.") I don't see Will as a "bad" kid who is going to defy or taunt Jen - and make no mistake, he knows she's the Mom. He may be closer to Bill in some ways, they have a lot of interests in common and seem to have their own jokes and routines. But I don't think that that means that he loves Jen any less. And while his speech is hard to understand, he's definitely communicating very well. The joke about calling Bill "Bill" over and over again showed his great sense of humor.

I think it's a judgment call when to give in to a child's tears and when to let them cry it out. I'm not big on forcing a child to do anything - three-year-olds should have some input into what is happening to them. Yes, she has to learn to swim, but maybe she's not quite as bold as her big brother - he's almost two years older and naturally fearless. Why force her when she's so young? After all, she's probably not going to get near enough to the pool to fall in. The fence around the pool looks quite climb-able. I'd certainly worry more about Will sneaking into the pool than Zoey.

I didn't realize the pool was so shallow. When they installed it, did they have kids in mind? Or was it basically just for cooling off? I don't know if Bill can swim laps, but otherwise I'm not even sure why they put it in. By "eye level" I basically mean face-to-face. You can call across the room "Will put that down" a few times but if you get no results, you have to go to where the child is, and speak directly to them. I think school will be very, very good for Will if his teachers have a firm hand. He will learn how to follow directions and obey rules. He really needs the socialization that being around other children, and adults who aren't his doting family, can provide.

I don't understand how a child molester is not a pedophile, or a pedophile is not a child molestor. Are you saying that there are pedophiles who do not act on their impulses? Is that possible?

Aaaah, Goldfishgate. I think Will may have been given the goldfish - or taken them - for snacktime at school. That's why Jen let him take them for later - but being a four-year-old he couldn't resist opening them right away. I definitely would have taken the bag away from him. I work in Head Start so I have had experience with more than 1,000 preschoolers over the years. I have the "teacher voice" down pat, and it always works. (Think of Supernanny's technique: lower your voice, not raise it, get down to eye-level, and follow through on what you intend to do.) A lot of our kids are defiant, and won't listen to their parents. But they are well-behaved in the classroom because they know the rules, and the consequences. I didn't like the way the swimming instructor treated Zoey. Yes, she's tiny and delicate, but she's her own person and her protests should have been respected. I would never drag a screaming child into the water. The instructor should have been much more gentle and patient. He could have played with her in the shallow end, maybe blow some bubbles, take her out, then try again in a few minutes. When a child is in distress don't say, "Oh, you're alright," that invalidates her feelings. Say, "I know you're scared, but we'll get through this together. Now, would you like to try blowing bubbles?" Sometimes you do have to take a hand or pick up a toddler, but into the water, where she has absolutely no power, control, or choice, no. Will did pretty well in the pool, but he's being taught to belly-flop, not dive. And is there a ladder for him to get out of the pool safely, not just climb up over the edge? In any case, it looks like he can handle himself around water.