SirOsisOfLiver

Three Kinds Of Sex House Sex: When you're newly married, and have sex in every room of the house. Bedroom Sex: After you've been married for a while, and you only have sex in the bedroom. Hall Sex: After you've been married for many, many years, you just pass each other in the hall and say, "Go fuck yourself."

Mom and dad were watching TV when mom said, "It's getting late and I'm tired. I'm going to bed." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for lunches, took meat out of the freezer for supper the next day, filled the sugar bowl and readied the coffee maker for the next morning. She put the wash into the dryer, a new load into the washer, ironed a shirt and sewed on a button. She picked newspapers and jigsaw puzzle pieces off the floor and put the phone book back in a drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel. She yawned, stretched and started for the stairs, stopping by her desk on the way. At her desk, she wrote a note to the teacher and counted out some cash for a field trip. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and made out a quick grocery list. Hubby called out from the living room. "I thought you were going to bed?" "I'm getting there," she replied. She put some water in the dog's dish, let the cat in and then made sure the doors were locked and the alarm was set. She looked in on each kid, turned out a light, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the laundry hamper and said goodnight to the one still doing homework. Mom creamed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. She set the alarm clock, laid out an outfit for the next day, straightened up her shoe rack and added three things to her "to do" list for tomorrow. About that time, her husband turned off the TV and announced to nobody in particular, "I'm going to bed." And he did.

The Hair Cut Women's Version: Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute! Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking? Woman 1: Oh, God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute, I think. I was actually going to do that except I was afraid it would accent my long neck. Woman 1: Oh, that's so funny! I would love to have your neck. Anything to take away from this two-by-four that I have for a shoulder-line. Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms. See how short they are? If I had your shoulders, I could get clothes to fit me so much easier. Men's Version: Man 1: Haircut? Man 2: Yep.

The Corporate Zodiac Marketing: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Sales: Laziest of all the signs, often referred to as "Marketing Without The Degree". Contact with customers is hard on hands, due to non-stop back-slapping and gripping golf clubs. You seek life-long admiration for your golf game. Systems: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control anything that happens with the computers at your workplace. Often, even you don't understand what you're saying, but who can tell? Engineering: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that 90% of all personal sex ads are placed by engineers. Without any people skills, you are happiest when left alone in your office. Accounting: The only other sign that actually studied in school, you are mostly immune to office politics, but you are the most feared and hated person in the organization. Combined with your compulsive neatness, rumours say that you are completely insane. Human Resources: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you are the organization's biggest gossip. Possibly the only person who does less actual work than marketing. Middle Management: Catty, cut-throat but spineless, you wish to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. You measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule. Customer Service: Bright, cheery and positive, you are just a step away from taking your own life. As a child, very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle and headset so you could pretend to play Customer Service. Consultant: A fixed smile covers your desperation. You'll say whatever the client wants to hear, in hopes they'll hire you and give you a REAL job.

We tried to watch the CBC 150 birthday special he hosted and had to turn it off halfway through. He severely annoys me. I think he finds himself way funnier than I do. I won't watch this show with him in it.

In 1965, the producers of The Avengers were casting for a new female lead. They wanted someone with "man appeal" which they referred to as "M Appeal" which eventually morphed into the new character's name - Emma Peel.

If you aren't aware, initially Bake Off travelled around Britain from week to week; hence the tent. It was only in later seasons that they stayed in one locale.

Dan Levy? Please God, no. He would make this show unwatchable for me. I probably won't even check it out, knowing this.

Since I went to high school in the early 70's, I must be REALLY old, but I never studied Dante's Inferno in school either.

Nothing stood out, other than how boring and lacklustre this episode was. I also noted that Andrew wasn't with the group in the preview of next week, so it looks like they're going to beat this team thing to death. How very sad.

I always thought it was pretty obvious what it was about Face Off that attracted its fans - creative people creating enjoyable characters in a friendly, supportive environment, in a show that ignored all the reality TV stereotypes. You'd have to have the IQ of tofu to think that the fans wanted something different, but apparently the producers of this show think we want drama, villains and tears. The team concept was flawed from the beginning, and after only two episodes they're diddling and tweaking with it, trying to force it to work. The people in charge of this show need a collective knee to the groin or a punch to the throat or something. The finished products are taking a back seat to the team dynamics and personal drama and that's not why I watch this show, assuming I can bother to continue.

First concert I attended was April Wine, T. Rex and Three Dog Night. If that doesn't age me...

I never listen to podcasts and I rarely read the recaps. Unfortunately, the recaps often seem more like an exercise for the writer to say, "See how cool and clever I am?" rather than telling me something useful. I don't care about who the writer thinks is hot, and I'm not interested in reading about your politics.

I'm trying to visualize these people performing in the standard Face Off format, and I'm still underwhelmed. Combine that with this drama-inducing team concept, and no wonder we're all ticked off.

I didn't think episode 2 could be worse than episode 1 but I was wrong. Total fail. Totally amateur-looking, like one judge said, they all looked like people with masks on. I may not last the season, either. Last week bored me and this week annoyed me - that's not what I expect from Face Off. The team concept might be the worst twist this show has ever tried in all its history of, "Must change things up! Must do something different!"

I'll pile on with all the others who thought that sucked. And as for the elimination, it wasn't the poor chest thing that made that look suck so badly - it was the head/face. It looked absolutely nothing like a wolf or anything else other than maybe a cartoon puppy. How they decided to send chest-girl home instead of stupid-face guy is a mystery. Sad to see a show that I used to like devolve into this crud. Then again, the last few seasons have all been pretty poor. This might be yet another show destined for the "used to watch" category.

If I remember what I read, it's being done by CBC for airing in the fall. Your opinion of CBC may or may not colour your expectations.

And replace Eden, please. Her voice is approaching nails-on-chalkboard levels for me.

It was on the TV but only as background noise. I just can't find anything positive about this show. I find the judges to be pretentious and annoying, I hate the fake drama, I don't particularly like any of the contestants and generally their talking head segments just annoy me. It's disposable, forgettable TV. I don't particularly care who wins. Yeah, overall, this show just generates a huge "meh" from me. Really disappointing.

MTV had been on the air for two years before Thriller. Jackson's label threatened to pull all their acts from MTV if they wouldn't show Thriller. MTV caved and gave in to the pressure.

The National Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain covers Talking Head's "Psycho Killer", in full tux and formal wear, no less.

Reality show staple: The one who says they've "got this" because they have so much experience is always the one to go. It's done so often, it's not even a surprise any more. Nothing bores me more on TV than amateurish, predictable editing.

I have absolutely zero interest in solo acts. I want to hear a band. I want to hear musicians playing instruments. Which is why I'll never have any interest in The Voice or any other show looking for the next pop star. I just don't care. At all.

My first thought would have been smoked Pacific salmon. Sushi? Where I come from, we have another name for raw fish. We call it "bait".