Tango64

The brothers, just…. those eyes…wow

For those in the last episode saying Survivor has gotten harder over the years, did you notice all the wardrobe changing this episode? Rewatch and notice Kaleb’s many clothing changes over what is edited to look like pretty contemporaneous scenes.

Ugh, these crazy idol/ advantage things. I can’t follow them. If you lost a vote but you still have a vote but your friend doesn’t have a vote but someone else has an extra vote, this gives you an extra vote when someone else doesn’t have a vote or at just one tribal council someone has a vote but doesn’t use that vote or at three tribal councils someone votes three times and Probst doesn’t notice. What?

Jason with the long, long highly impressive resume can't poach lobster in butter?

You'd think so, but I think that went out the door when they made life too easy for the contestants and just brought on superfans who were all about the alliances and strategizing. And shortened the length of the game. They all have an attitude of just sitting around doing nothing except finding idols and strategizing, and hey, maybe some sucker will spend a little time making fire or building shelter -- but it ain't gonna be me.

"You can be the waterboy!" is the most pathetic inspirational speech ever.

I've always gotten the impression that the local judges ease up on contestants after they've tried for a long time. One of my favorite things to spot is when they have a dance task or something like that, with lots of people in local dress being so cheery and enthusiastic at first. Then after some team is trying it for the 18th time you see those folks bored out of their minds and just sitting around waiting to be dismissed. And maybe if you're a latecomer but haven't tried all that long yet, the judges have just gotten tired of it all and help them out a bit. All unofficial, I'm sure, but I can imagine the little old lady at the lotus task deciding she just wants to call it a day and have some tea.

Phil was wearing waders when he described the lotus task. And when Jocelyn was first to arrive, they showed her looking at a display of waders to find the one with her name. But then she and everyone else just jumped in with their street clothes and some lost a shoe. What's up with that? Maybe they all decided not to bother with the time it would take to put on waders? Odd that not even one would decide that's better than jumping into muddy catfish water with your street clothes, especially since some were really icked out by that.

A friend came over as I was finishing the Survivor episode. He said, "They don't really sleep outside and find their own food, right? When the cameras are off they go to the resort hotel for dinner and sleep before the next day's shooting?" Now, I've griped mightily about the show's easing up on some of the rigors of the earlier seasons and giving them too many conveniences. But his comment made me wonder if people like Brandon and Hannah really think there's some secret contestants find out when they get to Fiji, that the producers were just creating a faux image of hardship.

I expect “I’m not bald!” Gino to show up in an oversized sombrero next season. His hats keep getting bigger.

Poor Brandon strikes me as a nice fellow who really enjoys watching Survivor but is so enamored by the fantasy of TV and gaming that he was shocked by the real experience. At least he didn’t sign up for the equivalent of Call of Duty.

That guy reciting the loooong list of places and top chefs he’d worked with made me think, “Hmm, why so many and why did you end up on a tv game show after all that?”And then his dish wasn’t great.

You’re doing the Lord’s work.

My thoughts exactly! I think someone else on the boat called it a panic attack, but I could see it was an out of shape guy who was already exhausted. I mean, I've had trouble pulling my big self up onto the snorkel boat after some exertion, but that's why I was sitting on the couch and not filling out Survivor applications.

I fully endorse everyone's enthusiasm for the return of classic TAR and the lack of social media people. My only complaint is with the contestants sharing the answer to the anagram. I groaned in fear of another season of alliances. Just compete, people!

Well, that was surprising.

I had thought Statler was the gross train wreck (talking about her toilet needs right out of the car was on point), and I wondered why a seemingly sweet, normal woman like Dempsey was with her. Then I saw the sage and vagina-cleansing stone scene. Okay, I get it. And couples therapy at this point??? No, you just break up and go your separate ways.

The woman singing Tina Turner: this is all that’s wrong with the judging on this show. Howie was spot on with his criticism, but he was drowned out by the crowd and the other juju buzzing him. Why have judges if they boo and cancel out anything that is not 100% supportive? The judging is shit. Just joking and nonsense, then out of time.

The judges have a weird obsession with landlocked states. "You're from Iowa! You don't have seafood! Have you ever seen seafood? Do you even know what the word means???!!!"

Not a fan of taking the show to Hell's Kitchen. It's always been so obvious that Gordon really plays up the hysterical mean chef persona on HK because that's what that show is all about, whereas MasterChef is probably more his true personality -- firm, with high expectations, but not a psychopath. With the exception of the stupid outdoor catering challenges, which is why I don't like them. Let's keep those worlds separate.

Is it just me? I very literally can’t stand looking at Shekinah because of those gross pumped up lips. I might enjoy seeing the doomed story of her and Disney villain guy, but I have to fast forward because I can’t stand looking at her.

First guy acrobat: Inspirational? Yes. Entertaining? No. Puppets: Dreadful. Just pandering to the judges, who lap it up like simpletons. “I’ll always love you” singer: Worst version of this beautiful song I’ve ever heard. What were the judges thinking? 15 yo dancer: Nice, but that’s all. Kylie Frye country singer: Hard to make out the vocals. Maybe overacting too hard. Simon was right, “a manic mess.” Chibi dance: Finally, some real dance and entertainment. Very good. Freedom singers: Another mediocre choir. Ho hum. Orlando comic: Not bad. Like him but maybe could use better material. Card magician: I normally don’t enjoy card tricks, but she was good. Little guy singer: Nah, not for me. Sofia liked an 11-year-old’s singing because it was “sexy.” Shadow Ace: Seriously? The crowd is only reacting to familiar music. The judges, as always, are as easily entertained as a drowsy three-year-old.

Christian: Why shouldn’t I be able to approach women in bars???? Why is that a problem? Creepy guy.

Statler: We had castle sex, of course. She’s just so gross.

I love dogs, but it’s crazy that a routine dog act won over a pretty good country singer.