DeLurker

It may not be generational - when I got my first “real” job after college - so 1987 - I was paired with a more senior analyst to show me the ropes. She was 35, had been married 5x and hadn’t been married in the last 5 years.

@bilgistic - sadly it does seem like you are reading the tea leaves pretty well. The only thing I can think of is telling her that if she needs a sounding board from someone who loves her, has her interests at heart and who isn’t going to judge (socially or religiously) any hesitancy or even regret, that you’ll be there.

So the jumping rope didn't last log because the ungainly thudding on to the concrete was hell on my ankles. I'll put some padded gym mats on the Christmas List and give it another go. I did get around to buying a hula hoop - actually a weighted one as I read that they move slower and are easier to manage when you are no longer a single digit. I got around to breaking it out this morning and gave it a try. My efforts were in no way graceful nor fluid, but I managed better than I was expecting* - which means it did not immediately fall to the ground. I only tried for a few minutes as I did not want to over do it. I just tried again and it went better. I managed to keep it around my waist for several revolutions - can't count them yet because my brain is too busy trying to communicate with my midsection. *With the TBI, my brain and body do not communicate fluidly any longer - I literally have to consciously tell my body parts what I want them to do. Being able to do even this limited amount of hooping (?) is a HUGE deal.

Start by cancelling the gym membership that you don't use and reading this article by Consumer Reports: 8 Ways to Save on a Gym Membership. I found this other tip too: Check out hospital-affiliated fitness centers Hospital gyms are usually rehab-based or geared toward the hospital staff. They’re clean, well run, and don’t force contracts on you. Best of all, most will sell memberships to the public. Visit the hospital nearest you to see if this kind of gym facility exists in your neighborhood. http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid29023586001?bctid=64735561001 Look for the free, unlimited access trial period to see if the environment really suits you, especially the classes and instructors*. If it does, let the gym manager sell you - don't tell them that their location is geographically desirable or anything else that gives them insight into why you are looking at them. Like car shopping, once they say the price per month, don't be afraid to say that is more than you budgeted for. If they don't start to negotiate, ask if paying annually upfront (if you can do that) will give them more flexibility. Given your husband is already a member, I would think some family discount should apply too. If you can't come to terms, tell them you'll need to keep looking and to call you when they have more pricing flexibility. * Instructors usually work at a variety of places. If you find some you like, you may see where else they work. When I was with a gym, I found it because I took a community yoga class and loved the instructor. At the end, I asked her where else she had classes and ended up joining one of the gyms she worked with.

Get some rest - you’ve earned it bigly!

I’ve been to Roscoe’s in Pasadena, so I’m probably in the group who won’t like it anywhere.

Chicken and waffles was never a concept I "got". I was encouraged (read bullied) into trying it a few times and I was never enlightened. But I do "get" how some places do such a good job that the appeal is suddenly realized.

I'm sorry - it is so disheartening to imagine what growing up in that kind of environment was like and the toll it takes on you. Is there anyway you can minimize the visit at Christmas? It really sounds like you need some time off of both work and these visits to your Mom. @BuyMoreAndSave - hard to believe that you had the internal fortitude to breakaway from this toxic relationship at a relatively early age. Clearly, based on your details and assessments, it came with a high price and loads of manipulation along the way. Your last paragraph sounds like the only approach to preserve your own sanity.

I'm annoyed when money I receive from the bank teller, the atm or from a cashier is not all facing the same way. In every job I worked handling money, we needed to put the bills all facing the same way and with the heads aligned.

I had never heard of either of these techniques. Can you link me to a good resource covering structured contact? I found this piece on Grey Rock and it was overly familiar. Turns out to be something I did to an extent when I was married to my ex. I've got mixed feelings about it though - I did it as a method of self-preservation so it was more instinctual. Perhaps if it were a more conscious and deliberate effort, it wouldn't feel so much like a defeat. @hoosier80 - was your Mom always such a challenging personality? Are there community groups or activities she is involved in? The visits to see her seem to drain so much out of you - I'm really sorry.

Birdzilla turned out pretty well I am happy to report. All the meat was done and still pretty moist. The gravy turned out to be very dark - think beef gravy - because of the high temp cooking. I put a fair amount of onions and carrots in the bottom of the roasting pan to help minimize the runoff from smoking off, plus one of my favorite things in carrots cooked in the turkey drippings, but I clearly coulda/woulda/shoulda put more. The smoke alarm in the hall off the kitchen ended up going off 2 times despite having the vent fan on and various windows open. The baking powder did dry out the skin, but it did not get such a nice sheen from the browning despite having hit it with butter. The stuffing (is it called dressing if it is made outside the bird?) also turned out well. I made it in the crock pot with a fair amount of reservation. It doesn't get a crispy top that way which is a bit of a disappointment like @biakbiak noted since that is the best part, but the bottom and the sides get a bit of a crust on them. So we all ate way too much which is probably required. I should have stopped after the main meal, but one of the guests brought home made creme brulee and it was impossible to resist. And it was amazing!

I made a cup of coffee and sat down to watch some news/weather. Catty Face promptly took up his post sleeping in the cradle formed by my sitting in the lotus position (Indian style I think was the more common term growing up) and is snoozing away. I now need another coffee, but am putting it off because clearly a cat napping shouldn’t be disturbed.

I had seen my favorite Thanksgiving movie, Home for the Holidays, was a available on On Demand. I was thrilled, but didn’t watch it cause it was too soon. Today it is no longer available for free to me. Now it is on a premium channel I don’t get. Poopy.

I'm going the high heat method for cooking the bird so it will take less time than normal. My house in CA had a broken wall oven that would only cook on high temps (like 450*) so I figured out how to roast at high temps than. Because things were nutty and money was tight, I did not call a repairman because I expected the answer would be I needed to replace it. I did eventually get a repairman and he was able to fix it. Cooking the stuffing outside of the bird this year because I've read some articles that made me overly concerned about salmonella. Since I'll be cooking the biggest bird I've ever made (18.5), I got myself wigged out over the internal temperature of the stuffing not getting high enough without ending up with overcooked turkey. Another issue I just discovered is the roasting pan big enough to hold the bird is too big to fit in the oven unless turned sideways. I prefer to cook the turkey breast side towards the back first so I get a uniform browning, but sideways it'll brown in profile.

Wow! That sucks - the cats want to know if you should stay home instead of traveling just to be safe. I’m sure they have no ulterior motives...

@Hanahope - I’m looking into the Sandisk iXpand drive for my photos. If it seems worth it, I’ll be looking for a couple more for my kids.

Change of plans upon discovering I accidentally bought a brined turkey. I’ll still let it air out in the fridge tomorrow, butter it with a blend of fresh herbs & try the baking powder thing.

@CrazyDog - so sorry. He's beautiful.

So getting ready to dry brine my turkey for Thanksgiving after hearing someone talk about it on NPR yesterday*. I came home and looked up articles on how to do it. I'll do a salt, pepper, & light Herb de Provence blend and keep it covered until tomorrow night. Then I'll put some soften butter under the skin, add some fresh herbs and sprinkle the outside of the skin with baking powder (crisper skin) and leave it uncovered overnight. The NPR interview was also saying it is good to spatchcock the turkey too, but I've got a pretty big bird this year (18.5) so don't want to try to tackle doing that for the first time on something that large. *I do realize experimental cooking on major holidays where guests will be involved is unwise, but I find myself compelled to do so.

I bought some men's tall pj bottoms from them earlier this year. They have stripes and the stripes line up nicely at the seams which makes me happy and they've shrunk a touch, but since they were longer than I needed to begin with it is still fine. I was just looking at their flannel ones earlier today and I was very disappointed that the attention to detail did not hold true on those.

Thanks for all the input - it gives me more info to evaluate and to think about before I make a purchase of anything. @HunterHunted - I do have a toaster oven, but it is a pretty modest sized affair. My kitchen is really small and counter-top real estate is at a premium so I only can commit to a counter-top appliance if it is going to be a real workhorse.

If you can find the video of that cat & firefighter it is something that just makes you feel smile.

Women's pajama bottoms always shrink! If I wanted mid-thigh lengthed pjs, I would have bought them. Most of the time I wear men's pajama bottoms because of that and that works out better generally except for flannel. That is most disappointing when flannel shrinks. I have very little storage space in my kitchen. There is this an odd little closet under the stairs that is sorta kitchen adjacent, but the ceiling starts to slope at about 60 inches. I've been looking for some heavy duty shelving or a baker's rack to fit in there so I can move my collection of heavy pots and pans (a fair amount of cast iron and stoneware pots) from prime kitchen real estate. The width of the closet under the stairs is just a smidge under 36 inches and most of the suitable racks I've found are 36 inches. There are units with shorter widths, but then there will be wasted space at the ends.

@larapu2000 - Thank you - I'll keep the hinged top in mind! How does it do on browning turkey skin? The reviews I've read are kind of all over the place on this aspect.

I've never had a cat that did the bag thing, not even the family cats when I was a kid. They've been so-so on the boxes too. I was completely amazed to learn it was a thing that most cats did.