DeLurker

@KnoxForPres - so glad you are close by! As for the Gollum update, Sunday night about 2 AM he realizes there is someone in bed with him. They talked for a bit, but then he sent her on her way. He has a numeric door lock and didn’t change the code so she let herself in. He now uses a sleep apnea machine so didn’t hear anything. He’s hella freaked now because he even brought up someone we grew up with who was stabbed in the chest by his wife while he was passed out (it is a Florida Man story). I had a friend who moved in with her boyfriend when we were 27. She told him before she moved in that if they weren’t engaged by a year, than she’d be moving out as she wasn’t interested in the sorta-but not really status of living together long term and if he already knew he didn’t want to get married, tell her now before she moved in. I really liked the simplicity and directness she took.

A lot of people who join these groups do it to meet other like minded people and there's no requirement that you have 100% pure motives to participate in a charity, fund raiser, political campaign...let's say you join a hiking club, a pet rescue or a food pantry with the primary purpose being to interact with a wider group of people, including potential dates. At the end of the event, you've still taken a hike, still helped care and socialize pets improving their chance of rehoming, still sorted boxes of food donations, ...the organizations target goals are not somehow diminished if participants have other motivating factors. Seriously, volunteering with a pet rescue, especially at adoption events, is going to have you talking with all sorts of people! It seems like just getting more comfortable casually talking with people would be a bonus for you and that kind of situation takes all the pressure off you because puppies and kittens are chick magnets.

@JTMacc99 - saw this headline and thought of you. Aim high.

My very tall dog has figured out that he can literally walk over the barriers I use to block him into part of the house (like away from the front window during the AM since I clearly need to be alerted that my neighbor has opened the garage to leave for work or kids are waiting for the school bus). Since Kook only barks at one level - maximum - it can be quite unsettling. He is not happy now that I scold him for being a rebel. Catty Face has decided to be an asshole and keeps nimbly leaping over the barriers just to show him he can without getting in trouble. Or he sits right on the other side of the barrier.

Quoting myself because I knew I had posted about this, but wasn't sure how long ago it was. Since I posted, the pattern for arguments and theatrics hasn't changed much, but she has asked him (brother #3 for those playing along) to get a life insurance policy naming her as the beneficiary (because her friends "counseled" her that this would be the responsible and respectful thing to do), asked to be added to the title to his house and asked that he sign a letter saying that in the event anything happened to him, his kids could not force her to move out of the house. None of these things happened, but they did get a dog from the shelter. In mid-November he told Gollum they weren't working out for a variety of reasons and she needed to move out. She asked to stay until after Thanksgiving and he agreed. Then it was after Christmas. Then after New Year's. Yesterday was my Mom's birthday so they were having a get together at her house (again, one door down) with another brother (#2) & his family and the next door neighbor. #3 and Gollum were at her house in the morning to say Happy Birthday and to have coffee with her, so they were expected back later when #2 got there. #3's kids show up in the afternoon and say their Dad is helping Gollum pack her things in her car to move. I can't believe the timing was coincidental. He never shows up during the get together, but stops by last night and she has moved out. Although she accidentally left her cell there (she's attached to her cell always), her laptop, etc...In the time he was at Mom's, she had texted him at least 5x. He sent me a text last night with the message "She's gone" - we really haven't spoken about their relationship. I sent him an email this morning saying basically do not keep in touch with her for a while. It will give her hope that there is a chance to reunite and if there is none, then it just gives her false hope even if that is not your intention. Tell her that you won't be responding to calls or texts for a while so there is a clean break. We will see if this is the final chapter...

@UYI - genetics are a lottery and she got a pretty sweet score, but remember she also has a TEAM of professionals paid to help put her together. What we see is a very carefully maintained and managed image. Who among us wouldn’t look better if we had access to personal trainers, nutritionalists, stylist, make-up & hair whenever we wanted?

@KnoxForPres - that is some shocker. So sorry for all of you. Do you live close? Because when my friend went through cancer treatment, she was most grateful for what her family and friends did to keep her kids’ lives as normal as possible during that time.

Write things out beforehand so you have notes to help keep you on track. It is hard when it is such a personal attack not to get “emotional “. Grind some stats on the day shift calls - # employees, # calls per day, # calls still outstanding at shift change... visible take notes during meeting, even if you have to tell them to wait. Alternatively, ask if you can record meeting so as not too slow things up w note taking.

^^^ That is why I had my friend put References Required & References Available Upon Request on her Match profile!

JFC - just got a group email from my cousin offering an apology & explanation of why she hasn’t been returning calls & personally updating people while her husband was in ICU and after his death. He went in the hospital in the beginning of December and died right before Christmas. Clearly some family members let it be known how hurt they were by her being too caught up to keep them informed when her husband of 40+ years was literally at death’s door. I’ve put off replying because I haven’t been able to say fuck them and they should be ashamed of themselves without profanity.

I got this correspondence yesterday from my insurance company that had Immediate Attention plastered all over it. It was from the "pharmacy solutions" department concerned because I did not refill a prescription within 30 days - the last refill was 11/15. Only it does not say which prescription since I usually have a couple refilled at the same time. It gives a toll free number to call to answer "a few simple questions" about why I am not taking my med as prescribe - This number is printed in bold, larger font 3 times on the letter. On the back is a bunch of legal disclaimers which trigger me into wondering if this is a step in cancelling my insurance for not following procedures (I don't know shit about insurance). I call the number, but it is a call back number that you have to enter the number they called you at to verify your identity. Since I got the exact number from a letter they sent, it doesn't recognize me. I call in to the number on my insurance card to find out that they have my old address on file (I moved 3 years ago), yet they also send stuff to my current address (?). It literally takes the agent 5 minutes to update my address. We get to why I called and she is going to transfer me to the pharmacy support. After talking with someone for another 30 minutes, explaining the situation, going through which meds I had filled on that date (ones a 90 day refill, one I need to take 2-3 each night depending on nerve spasms so a 30 day supply (90) lasts anywhere from 30 - 45 days depending on level of spasms I am having, etc...she eventually tries calling the number I was given, gets the same message and can't find the "department" that sent me the letter. Turns out is not with the pharmacy, but some kind of customer resolution agent. She eventually does try to transfer me to the pharmacy, but after being on hold for 5+ minutes I give up. I was on the phone, or hold, with my insurance company for more than an hour and got nothing resolved. I tried to go through my online account to send a message but my account is "locked". I'm going old school and snail mailing them.

Often posters, myself included, just need to do a brain dump and one of the beneficial outcomes for me is confirmation I'm not crazy and often, a fresh and/or impartial take on the matter. Apologies for misinterpreting the post and offering input that was retread.

Jeez @Mindthinkr - sounds like a question just to offer criticism no matter what you answered. Q - Whar did you do today? A - Invented a cure for cancer. Q - Isn’t finding and stopping the causes of cancer more important? Loser.

@BuyMoreAndSave - you really are dealing with a lot, plus you’ve got some serious family history of your own that can’t be helping. I think some therapy would be helpful - not because there’s clearly something wrong with you, but because there are clearly unhealthy dynamics that you deal with every day that everyone seems to expect you will just deal with so it doesn’t make their life unpleasant. I’m going to have nightmares about that damn bird - it needs to be confined to your MILs room at the very least. Good thoughts coming your way.

I’ve never liked Stevie Nicks’ voice - too goaty. I do like the duets she’s done with Don Henley, Tom Petty and Kenny Loggins (I think that was her).

We've come full circle! This is what started Pet Peeves!

@Sun-Bun - sounds like your Mom and brother are going to find something to be unhappy about no matter what you do, so acknowledge the truth in this and make your choices based on what is in line with what you and your husband want to do. Hosting two separate events on Christmas is a lot - even if you love it. Maybe this year, only host the Christmas cocktails as is the tradition - invite your Mom and brother to that, but don't cater to their demands for time and attention during the event. They can choose to decline, attend and leave at any point they see fit. Start asserting the changes now. Taking trips with your husband alone because you want to is nothing to feel guilty about - no matter what your Mom lays on! Maybe offset or preempt some of the sting by planning a girl's trip with your Mom so he doesn't have to forgo activities he'd enjoy and her trip is tailored to her mobility limits and interests. Not sure how I feel about you needing to be stealthier - seems like you are hiding some wrong doing and you clearly aren't. If they start in on being left out of your plans, tell them you'd be glad to join them on something of their liking so if they plan something, you'll do your best to join in the fun.

Guess no one informed Kook that he is supposed to be able to herd sheep independently in mountain ranges with no covering from rain and snow. He’s ok with the jacket - I was pleasantly surprised with the design & construction given it was a lower cost option. Just a couple of tabs that click to enclose the neck and two straps with Velcro that secures under his stomach. The other versions I’ve bought & returned to pet stores were more fussy. We’re basic - and ok with that.

Made seafood chowder yesterday and had some today for lunch. No matter how many potatoes I put in, it is never enough.

Kook in his new raincoat - worked pretty well, although the hood kind of blocks his vision sometimes. Maybe I’ll find him a Gorton’s Fisherman hat instead.

Ali is immune to temperature!

Is to me. Kook is not the least bit disturbed by fireworks, but Catty Face is not happy about them at all. There were so many, and for so long, in my neighborhood (where fireworks are not allowed) it was even unsettling for me. I parked myself right next to Kook for protection and Catty Face parked himself on top of me. Kook got an extra long walk this morning as a thank you for the multi-hour multi-species therapy function he fulfilled last night. We skipped the dog park though - there were some dogs that were quite worked up and had their owners intervening - definitely not our idea of a good time. It isn't usually like that, so I wonder if some of the dogs still have jangled nerves from last night and it was coming out in some overly aggressive ways today? Anyone who is a friend should both respect and appreciate that attitude. I applaud you for it. My ex's grandmother was still driving at 85+ and she was fine because she knew her limits. She no longer did interstates and freeways and she did not drive once dusk started. She stopped driving at 90 when she moved to Oregon because she did not know the roads nor think she could learn them well enough at that point in her life. Plus, it had been 50+ years since she had driven in snow or on roads that ice. She was awesome and I miss her.

Careful though. You don’t want to throw or give away something your kids might be highly attached to. My Dad had this corduroy suit jacket with these amazing buttons that I loved dearly. Mom gave it to me last year - I wear it because I love it and it is like having him with me. I almost always wear it when I am feeling stressed. The jacket is really good quality and was well made because it has to be 50+ years old. But I actually asked for the jacket about 15 years ago when my parents were doing will prep. They asked if there was anything I really wanted expecting me to call dibs (legally binding in my family) on something one traditionally lists on a financial statement. The other item is a silly t-shirt from his work. He investigated financial crimes (white collar) and they had a couple big raids involving state or federal police & the FBI. They had t-shirts made up to id themselves on raids - but these were very white collar affairs and the chance of drawing a gun was slightly higher than winning the lottery. But it was a big deal to them and it makes me smile.

Alli must have her own linen closet of towels!

Nah, he’s a big silly boy who we love madly so he won’t feel bad at all! He’s actually quite svelte for his size - especially since full Great Pyrs males can run 120-150 (depending on source you use). Male German Shepherd ‘s typically top out around 90. He’s 85 lbs, but chesty and long. I hope it arrives tomorrow since it has been raining. It started again while he was out with my daughter this morning so he came home a bit damp. I toweled him off and was trying to bring him upstairs to give a quick blow dry, but he was not a willing pup as the bathroom with the dreaded tub is at the top of the stairs. He was very relieved not to be taking a bath. He really does not like water.