FrancescaFiore

Which is hilarious because I always imagined Michael going into the bakery to pick up an "I'm sorry you're a fat old lady" consolation cake to get her back.

It wasn't that she denied being fat or old - it's even worse than that. She just doesn't allow MICHAEL to say so, despite it being true.

And there's also Big Ed. He has very sensitive skin and his mom calls him Pony. And there's Geoffrey, who is either going to get married, or go on a killin' spree.

Re: the Natalie/Michael "betrayal," I'm with everyone else here saying WTF. So Michael isn't allowed to have any female friends, including the ones he already had before he met Natalie? RUUUUUUUUUUUN back to Sequim, boy. But just for clarification, I thought I heard Natalie say that the groom called off the wedding because he thought that his bride to be had sex with Michael on the night before their wedding. That would tend to give credence to Natalie's suspicion except for the fact that Michael obviously told her about it, which he wouldn't have done if the story involved him cheating on Natalie with a girl who was going to marry someone else the next day. I doubt that he'd even broach the subject if that was what happened. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that Natalie doesn't trust Michael, so they should just part ways (but they won't, because they're both bonkers). Angela cracks me up with what a total caveman she is. That she got up out of her seat and rushed the monitor with 'the goofballs' on it made me laugh so much. Even Loren mentioned on Pillow Talk that Angela was trying to pull those guys out through the TV. Angela's attempt to channel that old Cosby bit where he tells his kids, "I brought you into this world, I'll take you out" when talking to Michael's friends was just beyond pitiful. Angela appears to believe she's a celebrity and that Michael's friends are coattail riders basking in her reflective glory. The truth is that Angela is trashy. She seemed to believe that calling herself the "classiest trashy bitch" somehow vindicated her, rather than validated the assertion that she's trashy. What was up with Robert getting all mouthy and butting in to the Michael/Natalie thing? It was as if Robert had never dealt with crazy chicks before. Just because she's crying and "seems hurt" doesn't mean that something happened to cause her to come off as hurt. She seems to have decided something bad happened and without any real basis for it, came to the conclusion that Michael is the kind of guy who would cheat on her with a woman who was marrying some other guy the next day. Angela too - where does she get off giving advice as if her own relationship has been oh-so successful. Sadly, Michael was too vapid to recognize that advice from someone whose life is a dumpster fire is best left untaken and he vowed to go back to Ukraine to continue his doomed, toxic relationship with Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

It looks like I'm in the minority here, but I loved seeing CeCe and Max at the Tell-All. They appeared to enjoy themselves, especially Max. Cece was feeling a bit shy, but I thought they were super cute - and I don't even like most kids. But Max and Cece are smart and well-spoken (far more so than Anna's boys are) and they seemed to want to be on the Tell-All. If for no other reason than to tell Anna and Mursel that they should've learned to speak each other's language before they got married. They were the only voices of reason on that stage, on that subject.

Um.. where's her wedding "tattoo?" #Barnbaited

Did we all collectively shout, "THAT LEG WOULDN'T BE BROKEN IF YOU EVER WORE YOUR GODDAMN SEATBELT, YOU STUPID COOZE!" at Tania? Because I thought I heard a collective shout.

I've seen enough of Mike and his almost TOO even temper to feel pretty secure in my assumption that he didn't do anything at all to upset her. She said why she didn't feel comfortable saying she loved him - because they had been fighting so much. She didn't say, "You know what you did and why I feel this way," which I feel like she would've said if there'd been any real "bad thing" that he'd done. She still doesn't understand that refusing to say she loves the guy she accepted an engagement ring from IS a bad thing that she did to HIM. He's the one who did all the work to make that relationship happen - he traveled to Ukraine, he did the K1 paperwork. All of the financial and emotional investment has been on his part, so I'm firmly Team Mike on that. Yeah, I couldn't keep my eyes off that tear. It made me think Sarah should be more worried about the future of her sofa than about the futures of her kids. Her kids seem to be in pretty good shape, but that sofa needs reupholstering, stat. "Voluntold" FTW! Totally stealing that.

The preview for the tell-all totally eclipsed what I felt was the sweetness of Robert and Anny's wedding. Bryson was so cute saying how happy his daddy was. I knew that all of the second thoughts stuff was fake. Leading up to that moment where he said I can't do this right now. It was all just for TV. But the two of them talking about having kids and Robert saying she wants to have a whole NBA team cracked me up. I also found Tania's & Syngin's vows to be very sweet. I don't have an issue with tattoos instead of rings per se, but I do have an issue with making people sit and watch you get your tattoos. But it was appropriately self-indulgent for Tania's wedding.

HAHAHA! Morsel is TERRIFIED of trashcAngela!

Now that I'm seeing it in better light, the mess on trashcAngela's decolletage appears more like she tried to put on self-tanning lotion and then put her fingers in it before it dried.

Anna in her dress gave me a craving for some Pillsbury biscuits

"l honor that mom and Mursel married today. And I'll live with that." Most appropriate wedding toast ever

She said she ordered it in Finland. but yeah you do have to order things way in advance. And about 17 sizes larger.

Gah! How adorbs is Bryson in his lil bellhop suit??

I'm still çok sure Anna & Morsel should not get married. I'm equally certain that Syngin us making a ÇOK big mistake marrying Tania. Jasmin 💯 ordered her dress from Wish

I'm still çok sure Anna & Morsel should not get married. I'm equally certain that Syngin us making a ÇOK big mistake marrying Tania.

Swiped from Reddit. Greatest Closed Captioning of all time

It's pronounced "Soo-jer." 🤣

NEXT WEEK on 30 Day Fiance... Tania and Syngin realize that they don't actually even know each other's last name.

This week's episode of 90DF has been rescheduled for after Groundhog Day, as Punxsutawney Tania has a scheduling conflict and will be emerging from her hole in the ground to either see, or not see, her shadow this weekend.

GOING to? Oh, that ship sailed!

I was partial to Holly's herbivore dinosaur pet, Dopey. Sa & Ta were assholes! You just wanted to shake them by their furry little shoulders and scream in their faces, "EVOLVE!!"

Yeah, I think porn gran's experience in the business is that she is to do what her director/producer tell her to do, without question. Whipping out a checkbook is probably the mildest thing Diamond Foxxx has been asked to whip out.