Charlotte Vale

I missed the first 15 minutes, as when Norma told whatshername that Norman had "the stomach flu," I spent five minutes yelling "there is no such thing as stomach flu--flu is a respiratory illness, not intestinal!" and then ten minutes taking pills and lying down before I could get back into the show. I really need to dial that back.

As per usual, I wept copiously. But you can tell they have left the books behind and the plots are getting a bit soapy: first The Weirdly Convenient Death of Jenny's Bland Boyfriend; and now Bossy New Nurse amazingly was in the same kind of internment camp as her one patient and therefore recognizes the Mystery Illness and dashes all the way to Liverpool on her kitten heels to get the one bottle of pills that will save him! Mind you, I still love the show, which is odd, because if there are three things that try my last nerve, it's nuns, babies and Vanessa Redgrave.

I have already given myself up to the fact that I will never be able to figure out what the hell is going on or who the hell anyone is or what the hell side they're on, so I just watch and think, "OK, that's moderately intertesting, and Mad Men's on in another 20 minutes." I love how Alewife Spy and her slave are Bestest Friends and do each other's nails while gossping about that totally cute guy in homeroom.

Vera totally owned the episode, of course, with Sheriff Suddenly Susan coming in a close second (poor confused George--run, George, run like the wind!). By the way, this is driving me a bit mad: they are the Bateses, not the Bates. I cannot turn off my inner editor.

I think Simcoe should be in the background of all TV shows, and most movies, adding his awesome reaction shots.

Oh, Norma, Norma, Norma, I want you to be my crazy, scary best friend. Everything she does goes so spectacularly wrong. She is the Toonces the Driving Cat of Moms.

Does anyone else look at Simcoe and see Hugh Laurie as Prince George in Blackadder?

I love how they gave My Briddishe Mama every stock Yiddish word in the book: bubbelah, meshuga, schmata. "Someone check the script--has she said oy vey or mishegos yet?" And yes, even though they too-handily wrote out Boring Boyfriend, I did weep copiously at the funeral.

I would finally get a DVR if Celebrity Beat-Off were an actual show.

Yes, but from what I hear about Miss Watson, that was only one of about 370 semen samples they found in her. I love Sheriff Suddenly Susan! He seems like basically a good guy, but what is his backstory, how did he get so hard-boiled? Next to Norma, he is my favorite character (literally--I love when he is next to Norma).

Captain Simcoe--is he the Hugh Laurie-looking fellow who is so pleased with himself? The Redcoat You Love to Hate? I know I should like Ale-Wife (and I do hate Dreary Wife), but she is awfully pushy and serious. I guess revolutionaries always are, though, aren't they?

I am so confused. I know who Abe and his dreary wife and smug father are (and, really, did Abe's beloved late mother knit him that awful hat? It's the only excuse for his wearing it), and Spy Girl at the ale-house, but I cannot for the life of me keep anyone else straight. Big bearded bear guy--is he good or bad? Redcoat or Revolutionary? Spy or counter-spy? I guess the whole point of a spy show is that you really don't know, but gosh this has me all at sixes and sevens.

Did you see the interviews with the cast afterward, in which they were asked what they'd like to take home with them? Everyone gave typical "oh, I covet that lamp" or "I adore the chair" answers, and then Sister Monica Joan (Judy Parfitt) comes on and says, "There are one or two good-looking young men about the set I'd like to take home." Sister Monica Joan, stop!

I tried to like The Colbert Report, really I did. I know he is just an actor playing an obnoxious jerk--but the character is such an obnoxious jerk I could never get past that and enjoy the show. Heck, I haven't even watched The Daily Show in a good two or three years. Just got out of the habit during one of the many strikes/vacations and never picked it up again.

Poor Norma. No matter what she does, whether for good reasons or bad, invariably blows up in her face. She is the Toonces, the Driving Cat of Moms.

Thanks! I have never seen in him anything else, I keep expecting him to call someone "Toad."

I have always held that Rose's St. Olaf Stories were every bit as brilliant as Gracie Allen's stories about her brother. I mean, of course, the actress didn't write them, but perfect meeting of writng and delivery. (For all that, I have reached Betty White Overload--yes, she's adorable, but you can't swing a cat without hitting Betty White)

Still, probably safer than having your dock-worker husband beat the holy hell out of you every day for the next 20 years.

The hottest couple on the show--possibly anywhere on TV--are Norma Bates and Sheriff Suddenly Susan. Every time they have a scene together, Maid has to fan me with a violet-scented hankie.

Thank you, my dear--Olive Higgins Prouty and Christopher Morley are two of the Great Forgotten Novelists of the last century.

Oh, you're welcome to it, dear. I cannot face the week without my Bonnet Sagas.

Didn't we already do Surprise Biracial Baby already? Yes, Doris' husband is awful, but she did cheat on him, so one can understand his chagrin. Abortion, sweetie--one of your neighbors could have steered you somewhere. Now all she can do is run off and get a job with Vidal Sassoon, because yes, her husband is going to spend the rest of his life making her miserable. And never take Sister Monuica Joan to a lecture, what were they thinking?

Well, that was . . . confusing. I am going to stick with it, as it will be a nice sorbet between Call the Midwife and Mad Men on my Bonnet Saga Sundays. And if it's a choice between Turn and Jeremy Piven and His Over-Acting Teeth, I will go for the Revolutionary War every time. Such a chore figuring out who is on which side! Which is, I guess, the point.

Community is one of those shows I watch because I like one or two of the cast members and get a laugh or two, and every week I think, "Why do I watch this?" I hate 1) paintball episodes, 2) cartoon episodes, 3) Dungeons and Dragons episodes. So so far they have hit just about every one of my sitcom peeves except Very Special Christmas episodes. Unless I missed one of those. The show just has its head way too far up its backside.

. . . and she certainly did keep her hand in!