Red Bridey

I don't know how many times I shouted, "Shoot him! Shoot him goddamit!" Nick is an asshole and I hate him, I hate Troy and I HATE Madison.

Yeah! Come on, Ma...can you scare that chaotic old woman away...but...nicely? Such a passive aggressive baby man.

Darcey and Jesse: Who's the asshole? Left Twix vs Right Twix. Who cares? She's passive aggressive and needs a bottle or two of wine to let out her frustrations. Jesse is a passive aggressive control freak who is trying to tame the chaotic Darcey. Neither one knows how to treat the other one as an adult. Ergo: They are both assholes. Larry and Jenny: The front desk clerk asks him Business or Pleasure? Jenny: Business. Larry: Pleasure. What a stupid question! I wonder how many men check in with much younger women and no luggage at that "fancy" hotel. Abbey/Chris/Sean: Chris reminds me of an adult Butt-Head.

The clients were all so drunk Matt could have served Uncle Ben's and Chicken of the Sea as long as there was a hot guy as the tray. They wouldn't have known the difference! And seriously, who does Jen think she is? She is a newbie and Kate is her boss. Bosses are allowed to do what they want to, well, except for crimes. Jen needs to keep her mouth shut and not piss Kate off and maybe she won't be thrown off the charter. (But I do confess I still don't know how to fold a fitted sheet. I roll mine into a big ball and stuff it into pillow cases. I would be thrilled to be shown how to do it correctly.)

Arissa and Jake heard from Cambrie what she said and then how Andrea "misspoke" and both of them came to the conclusion that Cambrie said exactly what Andrea said she said. I was much more impressed with Jake -- I knew Arissa had a lot of emotional intelligence, but I figured Jake was dumb. Seems like he sees a lot more than I thought. I like Arissa. I think her mom did a pretty good job raising her. I think Atiana is a wounded little bird. Pretty, very pretty, but there's no way she'll make it in the big bad world of self-promotion and egotism that is the modern "modeling" world. No matter how much Shanna pushes her, she won't take the steps necessary to get there. Cambrie makes a good fitness-type model. I can see her in Athleta or Title IX catalogues where you need that windswept, sun-kissed look. Faith: meh, pretty, skinny, boring blonde. Maybe y'all can help me. I am not a photo-guru. I don't know what makes a good IG photo. In the first or 2nd hour, the Shroeder girls were critiquing Jake's Instagram pix, saying how horrible they were. To my admittedly untrained eye, I didn't see it. I don't know why they were so bad; I get that Jake is unfortunate-looking, I think he's a lovely boy, but he's no model...but the photos looked fine to me. Ah, it makes not a lot of difference in my world. A month ago I hadn't ever heard of any of these baby d-listers. Oh, and another LOL moment: during the Beverly Peele photo shoot, Faith was directed to "smile with your eyes.!" She was told to SMIZE! Had they actually used that term, would they have to pay Tyra Banks a royalty?

I guess I understand why this show was postponed, but it really wasn't necessary. This was funny! The old guy was so vile...and the reactions were so on point. I don't know why making fun of racism and misogyny needed to be postponed, just because of certain recent events. We need to ridicule racism and misogyny all the time.

Family Chantal and Family Pedro hate each other's guts. Both behaved unbelievably rudely to each other. So the question is: Will the couple be able to resist so much animosity and create a loving relationship with each other in defiance of their families? I am doubtful. Chantal is weak. Pedro loves being the man of the house to his mama and sister. Perhaps if they move far away from Family Chantal, but I don't think Chantal has the backbone to do so.

Yeah, why was Paul miming putting a ring on his right INDEX finger? The engagement ring finger is the left "ring" finger. It's called the RING finger for a reason. Such a dumbass. But I will die happy remembering the look on Father Karini's face during that pathetic "conversation." I will also die sad after remembering Mother Karini's resigned expression that she needed to sacrifice her beautiful child to such a creeper.

I left you guys for a while but I decided this September to record just new JJ episodes after the two hours a day just overwhelmed me last year. We had some breaking news that interrupted the episode with "Rosie Perez" and James Glass vs the Battlin' Boston (?) Landlords. What happened? There was welfare fraud, worms, asthma, pot, mean grannies, just a bunch of stuff!

I was so confused because I thought the Filipina cousin-in-law was Daya (?), a previous 90 Day Fiancee subject, but then I realized that this woman was much younger than Daya. Cortney is a dumbass. She has travelled alone around the world: how can you be confused by a MAP? She lives in Florida: how can she be confused by SPANISH? Antonio is no model: he's too old, he's too short and he's too stocky. Honey, get a hotel room and have a lovely vacation in Spain and forget about that jerk. I really don't care about Abby and Mark and Carl (?), but I loved seeing Abby covered in weeds afterwards. Did she bring a change of clothes with her? Jesse and Darcey: oh, good Lord, woman, stop being so DESPERATE. You makes me cringe.

I'm so confused by this show; I realized that I can't even explain what the hell is going on to anyone, luckily nobody I know has any idea I watch it... Sigh, doesn't anyone remain dead anymore? Max had two death scenes! And of course they are going to name the baby Max.

HAH! Thank you, I was right. There was no big Anfisa Reveal, Jorge never said What She Did. After three weeks of teasing it, there was no Dramatic Honesty. Why am I not surprised?

I wondered if the Vile Nancy Grace didn't know she could use more than one word to describe the celebrity. It sounded like she thought she could only say "Red" instead of "This actress's first name is a synonym for the color Red and has the same first name as the heroine from GWTW." Like, NANCY, use sentences to get your point across! I wasn't watching the game, just listening to the clue-giving and I had NO idea what they were doing. Then I watched the game and while some of the celebrities were harder than others, still, they should have been able to get them. I would have optedfor RuPaul and Margaret Cho too.

So this show was a whole lot of nuthin. I don't recall any "revelations" that we didn't already know. And more promos for Jorge's big reveal NEXT WEEK. Which I am anticipating will be nothing. Because the way things are edited in the promos, nothing ever happens as dramatically as they are shilled. So we won't hear what horrible lies Anfisa told Jorge or the REAL TRUTH that he keeps harping on about. I am not spoiled, but I am very cynical! Full disclosure: this show is one of the only "bad TV" that I really look forward to watching! And yeah, nobody I know or respect watches it either, so I have nobody to discuss it with. Except you, my virtual friends!

So funny! I really enjoy Michael Rappaport.

I though Tawny looked better than I had expected. Maybe because of the dimples in her cheeks when she smiles. Clearly she has had work done, but she could look so much worse. Color me surprised! But I doubt she will change any young video ho/Vegas showgirl/media whore/gold digger's mind on the benefits of massive breasts. She is clearly not The Voice of Her Generation!

These parents are all emotional wrecks. No wonder these kids are so annoying.

I feel bad for the poor plus-size model: her looks are...unfortunate...but then. Mom looks rode hard and put away wet. Don't know who Krista Allen was, didn't know Beverly Peele, and she has a gross neck with those rings around. How does anyone get a job saying "I'm Rickey Schroeder's kid"? Who cares? Nobody is more than a Grade D celebrity, and "Supermodel" is quite the exaggeration!. And yet I watch...

Isn't the blonde woman lurking out the back of the drug dealer's house Maddie?

I could not for the life of me figure out what Dr. Dre had to do with M&Ms, but just chalked it up to me being old and out of touch. I never connected Eminem with that clue! Thanks for clarifying, Peeayebee!

Jesse seems like a guy who likes neatness and order in his life, and if he says something, he feels it should be taken seriously and not ignored. Like, "Don't bring so much stuff. Why don't you change those heels and put on comfortable shoes since we are going to be walking on cobblestoned streets. If you take your makeup off you won't get the new sheets all dirty." He got Darcie's number in a very short time and we will probably see him disengage from her neediness sooner rather than later. And I can't wait to see it!!!!

Karine is so cute! Far too young for Our Poor Paul, but she is completely adorable. And yes, there is a lot of skin color prejudice in Brazil, so he would be more desirable with his blue eyes and light complexion. But they are both ninnies for not figuring out that being unable to be communicate "is a lot harder than I thought it would be." No duh. Guess what, Paul...you find someone in the Brazilian Outback, chances are NOBODY is going to speak English. You want an English-speaking Brazilian woman? Go to Boston. There're gazillions of them there. Jesse and Darcie: OMG. These two are going to kill each other, but somehow Darcie will figure out a way to make it seem like Romeo and Juliet: "we loved each other so much but we couldn't be together so we both had to die." I am Team Jesse. I would make Darcie walk for miles on cobblestones if she insisted on wearing those ridiculous shoes. And let's ride our bikes up this mountain...(I know there aren't any mountains in the Netherlands). Torture her, Jesse! She also has a TERRIBLE smile. And that's one ugly big-ass ring. And I kinda hate the camel-hair coat Jesse wears. Cortney: Dip! RANCH dip! With pretzels! Do you think the Spanish Porn Star is going to want to eat that? I would like to think that someone who had the balls to travel solo through the world would be able to stand on her own two feet and not need a man to "complete her." She's a 26-year old baby. Get your own apartment/house, get a job and be happy. Of course, who wouldn't want a three week vacation in Spain? I'd take it, even if the Porn Star turns out to be a fraud. Have a great time. You're in Spain, for heaven's sake Abby and Sean: Abby is a CHILD, not a woman, Sean. Sean is never ever ever going to forget about Chris the Former Boyfriend. Should the marriage happen, should it last thirty years, he will always be thinking that Abby is involved with Chris. He will never let it drop. And the Air BNB, who arranged that? She seems very comfortable there...has Sean been paying for her to live there?

I have liked the idea of this show, and the actors ("Oh, THAT guy...), but this was the first one that I have laughed out loud at. Jamie Pressley reacting to the huge pot brownie cracked me up. I have a family member who ate a pot cookie and had to sleep next to his/her straight-laced spouse...and this reminded me of his/her paranoia. Very funny! I like this show!

I KNEW that actress looked familiar! Paige making it big in Show Business! Those cops and robbers were the worst marksmen/women I have ever seen. I think the baby is some kind of monster too. Dr. Desai is in some deep shit with Eichhorst.

Why would a reggaeton musician think a TLC show would increase his audience? Maybe a Spike or Cinemax show "star", but a network that airs "Outdaughtered"??? NOT a natural fit, demographically speaking.