Muffyn

Okay, I loved the bombie. That's a new way to target people. I found myself laughing every time one of our crew punched a Z. It seemed so bizarre. Why, we shall engage in old fashioned, bare knuckled fisticuffs with these undead monsters who are trying to eat us. Makes sense to me.

He spoke like a character out of Zoolander. Full disclosure: in the early 70s, we had denim swimsuits. These were usually a bikini top and hip huggers cut into a bikini bottom.

My initial thought was the poor guy had a sudden, uncontrollable urge that required an immediate trip to the bathroom during a highly scrutinized speech. And now the world will know his bowel problems are the reason he survived. Based on this logic I assume dealer son will be appointed head of the DEA.

I think we also learned that wealthy white kids have a much harder time getting into Hudson U. Of course, Hudson is also known as Rape U. so it may be better for Noah to not get in to the fancy preschool. It would only send him down a path to be rejected by Hudson. (How did Stabler get his daughter into this elite school?) I found the school motto, "Omnes eorum violabuntur" (all will be raped).

I for one am so grateful to Vicki. Without her I never would have heard of cancer. How do you pronounce that? Is it like can-sir or can-ker? Can-sear? I am so confused. But at least I am now aware that cancer exists. Vicki does so much good for humanity. /sarcasm I wouldn't doubt Heather's comment about the scents in the store being too much for her except she had been throwing so much shade before the event, it all seems suspicious. Yes, candle stores can be really overwhelming. But Heather is the queen of coming up with excuses to leave housewife events early.

Dammit! Don't make me have to watch New Girl to see the Brooklyn 99 gang. There had better be extra Holt to make this watchable.

Yeah, Michael would be missing a digit or two if he pulled that crap with me. The woman he was harassing seemed to feel she had it under control. She seemed to prefer dealing with the creeper than with Kelly. Then again, I think Michael would be less likely to go completely ballistic than Kelly. Forgot to add, so happy Vicki found yet another lying grafter. He is one step up from Brooks. He has his own teeth!

Okay, weinergate came off really odd to me. I thought she said Michael drove home without her, leaving her while she got a hotdog and diet coke. Then it was that she left and he had to take an Uber home. So she couldn’t find him at Costco and left him there while she sucked down her hotdog and soda? And he’s the bad guy? Yeah, she’s a keeper – ragey, foolish and drunk. If everyone got divorced because they lost sight of their spouse at Costco we would have a 90% divorce rate. She really is desperately trying to paint him in a bad light to help her in a divorce. Why, once she tells the judge the hotdog story, I’m sure she’ll get everything she wants. The cruelty! The horror! How will she survive? (He does seem to be hideous but, then again, he married her so I am not expecting a great guy). Lately Vicki had not been looking so seriously terrible in her clothes. Tonight, she’s back to her old hideous standards. WTF was she wearing at the candle party? Big pink straps sticking out of bedazzled grommets? Where do you find something like that? And then at Heather’s book party she’s got the girls ready to come out and play (oops, I threw up in my mouth a little). And her new beau looks at her and thinks she looks good? Perhaps he retired from the force because he lost his vision and hearing. Otherwise I cannot imagine how he spends time with the Vickster. Stay classy, Tamra! Stir shit and talk about yeast infections. I expect nothing else from you. Tamra was great in her “How can I go to Ireland? My big competition is coming up!!!!!” If you like your contract and you want to get paid, you are getting your toned ass on that plane. Besides we all know it’s been booked for a long time. The pretense of these women getting together and suddenly deciding “I know what let’s do! Let’s go to Ireland! We can leave in two days!” It’s like they’re the Little Rascals and someone said, “Let’s put on a show!” Pull out the fake patchwork stage curtain and queue up Alfalfa to sing.

Now that the family of fools has broken down the gate, all it takes is a tide change for the hotel to be completely overrun. After the hotel falls, Strand decides to go after Maddie et al because he has caught their infectious stupidity. Sure, others would stay with other hotel survivors. But Strand just can't quit this hapless group of ragey losers.

And that’s why we can’t have nice things like a hotel with water and electricity. Thanks, Travis, for finding your inner rage at the worst possible moment. Okay, so the big bads could walk through the crowd of walkers and even let themselves be surrounded but still get to the school bus with no losses. However, they could not handle the slowest moving walkers ever when they got into town. This show has the most conveniently inept walkers ever. Travis and Maddie stood here staring at them, letting them get really close, but could then get far enough ahead of them that they weren’t worried at all while Maddie questioned dying guy. Travis even stood with his back to the open bus door. They are too stupid to live. And the white junkie shall lead them , to the slaughter, that is.

Nits to pick: They are in a hotel with comfortable beds. Travis sleeps on a loveseat instead. Is this how he is punishing himself for leaving Chris? We actually start with zombies trying to hurt someone. There is a moment of the titular fear. Don’t worry. Bad ass O-O-felia takes them out easily and can casually walk away from the pack following her. Douchebros continue to be extra loud douchebros wherever they are. So smart. Nick needs almost no blood to fool the walkers, thereby proving his natural stank is so bad there is no way anyone would bed him. Alejandro is so walker focused he does not tie down sick people in the infirmary. Because letting walkers (roamers, meanderers) do what they do always works out well for the living. Nick chooses to pack several books in his bag because in the ZA you want to travel heavy. I have had a shoulder reset before. That wasn’t even a good fake re-location of a shoulder. Maddie can’t figure out how to break into a glass door. She is an idiot. At least Travis figured out he could throw someone through the glass.

Delores was giving great face when Siggy was ranting. She tells it all with her eyes and pursed lips.

I love this so much! Jac sounded drunk before they got to the restaurant. Is she perma-drunk now? Jac, Tre doesn’t need an excuse to turn on you. You are exhausting and so very, very needy.

Just an FYI - on the gofundme page for Vicki's "charity" you can report the campaign as a scam. With enough complaints, it will be taken down.

The infamous $3.5 million house still has not sold. https://www.trulia.com/homes/California/San_Francisco/sold/7103353-376-San-Carlos-St-San-Francisco-CA-94110#photo-30 It is sitting empty.

I'm not sure Madison could sell her desire to eat human flesh if she were a zombie. She would just hang back looking like the zombie smell offends her.

I suspect Kelly came on the show hoping to show Michael in a terrible light and make herself look better to put her in a better position when they divorce. (I would say "if" but given how they are, when seems more realistic.) While he is extra creepy, she forgot to factor in how horrible she is. They are not just filming him. So we get to see her drunken tirades and constant nit picking. The only time these two seem to be happy together is when they are doing something horrible to someone else. Anyone else having a breakdown while talking about their marriage I would feel sorry for. Kelly, not so much. I did feel sorry for Meghan when she learned that she lost one of the embryos. I was glad that I already knew one survived because when she said she had been having pregnancy symptoms and they were subsiding, I was concerned she lost both. In a bad, voyeuristic way, it was nice to see some actual emotion on this show, other than out of control rage.

Sorry for posting before I finished watching the episode. I started watching late last night. I just stopped laughing. Vicki said "I'm all about charities" and I started laughing so hard I haven't heard anything since. Have to run it again. Florence Nightingale, Doctors Without Borders, Vicki Gunvalson. What do these have in common? It sure isn't charity or concern for others. The best I can say is they exist.

Also since Easter is a Sunday, it is not a concern for businesses that work a Monday to Friday week. I work implementing a payroll and time recording system. Every US and Canadian company I have worked with has included Easter among their holidays if they have a workforce that might work on Sunday (e.g., businesses that are open almost every day - Starbucks; business that might send out an emergency crew - utilities; 24X7 businesses - hospitals). People typically get holiday pay for working on Easter Sunday. It is often automatic doubletime (2 X regular pay). However, unlike Europe, it is rare for US companies to consider the days around Easter Sunday as holidays. I was once scheduling a business trip to Germany around Easter week. One of my German colleagues told me to change the dates because so few people would be available and they had multiple days off during that period. They take off from Maundy Thursday through Easter Monday.

I have a theory. To save money on the multitude of injectables that maintain Jac's Easter Island head face, they have been harvesting material from Chris' balls. Sure, it sounds nuts (in more ways than one), but it makes sense. First, it explains why Chris more and more appears like a ballless wonder. Second, all of those excess male hormones so close to her brain explain Jac's rage issues. If he's not careful, she'll harvest his scrotum to help stretch over her increasingly large cheeks. Chris on is phone while Jac was ranting was reality TV gold. That whole scene was so good. Mel in her cat mask. Joe Go skiing off into the woods. The thing I like about the Jersey crew is how often they seem to forget they are on camera and do ridiculous things like this.

The fight made no sense to me but I thought I was too distracted. I looked up and Jacq was staring at Robyn with big ole cow eyes and jutting her chin out. She has never looked more punchable.

I worked at a company that gave three hours off on Good Friday with the idea you would go to church to walk the stations of the cross. You had to return to work after the three hours; couldn't just take it at the end of your shift. The funny thing was the number of people who would either come back with a bit of a sunburn from hanging out along the Embarcadero (the road by the bay) or in a park. Our Oakland location was across the highway from a mall. People would carpool to the mall. At 3 PM, you would see everyone in the parking lot moving their bags from the drivers car to their trunks. I worked with a guy who was very self-righteous about being Christian. He always said he was going to church on Good Friday, but someone he always found a way to stop by Macy's too.

Catching up on a few episodes. First, I did make some suggestions on Trump's website. Second, I watched Michelle Obama hit Stephen a few times. Third, I remembered why Anthony Anderson is totally my TV boyfriend. Flove him!

Regardless of the show, just leave out the Tiffany/New York segment is a good suggestion.

I've always known Kiefer is smaller than he is made to appear on TV. In the scene with Kal Penn in the bathroom, Kiefer looked tiny and Kal looked big enough to HulkSmash! him. Of course, that would have made for a decidedly different show.