PRgal

My current peeve is with Facebook, which has way, way, too many recommended pages and posts as of late. It's to the point that I took the app off my phone (well, it's technically hidden since I didn't outright delete it). I found that I was just mindlessly scrolling for zero reason and it was taking too much time out of my day. Peeve 2: Substack support! I'm trying to edit the wordmark I uploaded on my site, but the ability to do so has disappeared. I logged in and back out, tried different browsers, even logged myself out of Chrome and did it as a guest. Nope, nothing. It's a glitch on their end and they're of no help. Their chatbot is quite intelligent, but there's no support email address to contact.

Didn’t they tell David Chang (did you hear about his controversy? Let’s not get into that here) they were able to trace back thousands of years in Korea?

I hope they'd do this again. I don't know how far they can trace back, but my last name at birth (i.e. my maiden name) has aristocratic roots. I have a kinship book, but it doesn't go THAT far back. Don't know if you can even trace back like 3,000 years.

It's hard for me to set boundaries with them. They feel that they will help encourage my son to eat more (they think he's too skinny, but that's just how he's built. He's a bony kid. And just because he's a bony kid at 5 1/2 doesn't mean he will when he's 15. I don't know why they forget that). If I told them they can't come more than once or twice a week, then they'll say that I'm disrespectful. They have help cooking their meals. I'm in the middle of putting together a recipe binder for her and since I'm involved with communicating with her as well, I'm going to be telling her which recipes to make each week once the binder is done. In the mean time, I just have to deal. p.s. my dad claims that I'm anxious because I don't eat like he does/his idea of "balanced." He also thinks I need to put on weight prior to my surgery (all my doctors tell me I should just be my normal). Truthfully, my mom gives me more stress than my dad. She's turning into my grandmother, who was the Queen of Fake News when she was in her 70s. Now I'm worried I'd be that way 30 years from now.

My parents STILL don't understand (and are extremely critical) of how I eat. They kept on telling me that my son's baby teeth aren't ready for raw carrots, but in reality, he gets baby carrots at school as part of his school meal plan (seriously, this kid will eat them plain, no hummus or (blech!) ranch). He eats them. I've seen him eat them. I know that he doesn't eat it as much when my parents are around, probably because he's so influenced (fearful, maybe?) by the grands when they're here. To them, I eat like a foreigner (or "hip white girl"). Well, I KIND OF AM a foreigner. I mean, I was born in Canada. To an immigrant family, yes, and yes, their cuisine very much influences my home cooking, but I'm not them. Anyone else have this experience. It's to the point that they stress me out, but I can't end our several times a week family dinners (they live in the same building and will eat with us). They want my son to eat the food they bring and not my stuff. I swear they think it's puke.

Two pics taken from my kitchen! This was just before totality.

I'm watching it on NASA's website. It's getting darker here in TOronto.

Same. People are driving south to Niagara Falls from Toronto to view it. But it's also really cloudy here.

@Yeah No A lot of people are very sheltered. And I think some children of immigrants can be even more so at times. My parents grew up working class and lower middle class, and I think they did their best to isolate me from some people. They meant well. They didn't want me to see too much suffering, and would have freaked out at the idea of me taking a gap year in a developing country (gap years weren't really a thing in '98 when I graduated from high school anyway). It's one thing to, say, sort food at a food bank or something like that, but to be fully hands on for longer periods of time? They wouldn't have liked it. I remember being told to "stay indoors" after a music theory exam at a high school that didn't even look like it was all that inner city. I don't know why. And when Chinese Canadians moved out of Chinatown and into various suburban communities, I was warned not to go to Chinatown. They believed the suburban Chinese communities were safer. I'm being honest, that's what they said. Unless it was lost in translation somewhere.

I find it endearing to see seniors get together at McDonald's, Tim Horton's, Wendy's, mall foodcourts, wherever for coffee every morning. It allows them to get out of the house and socialize. And that's good for their health, delaying the aging process. As for coffee itself, I'm a coffeeholic. My mom doesn't understand how I could drink espresso because to her, it's much to bitter (okay, I typically put maybe half a teaspoon of milk, but if you gave me espresso or a cup of black coffee, I'd happily drink that).

Amazing time at my son's "Day in the Life of a Kindergartner" event today. We got to have lunch together (they served chicken fingers and roasted potatoes. Salad was available too, which is what I took (I'm pescatarian/vegetarian before dinner...long story) and fruit at the table for anyone who wanted any. My son refused, but I gave him a few grapes, just in case. He did have cucumbers and cheese (I suggested that he use the mini cheese slices as sandwich filling with two cucumber rounds as "bread"), but also refused at first. I wonder if it had to do with showing face in front of his buddies...lol) and then he showed me what he was doing in class (like his weekly journal where he writes out what he did over the weekend. His printing is very neat for a 5 1/2 year old!). We adults also got to sit through their French class and helped out with art. We made handprints on clay! It was a lot of fun. :).

Is it possible to move some of the replies from the other thread referencing this episode over here?

OMG, speaking of high school reunions, I just received an email from my alma mater about them "reevaluating" their year rep program and asked us whether we still wanted to continue our role as reps. They included an attachment of responsibilities which sounded like being on a board. There were meeting attendance requirements as well. I replied by asking whether meetings virtual or in-person since it matters to me as a mom of a younger child. I think the regular meetings, even if it's not YOUR YEAR is important, since being a rep isn't JUST about the big reunion, which, for us, happens every five years.

And there was another guest who was related to ScarJo.

Regarding Lena Dunham, I think everyone will find something about their ancestors that would be considered inappropriate by today's standards. I often tell people that at least one of my great-grandfathers had concubines/more than one wife. I mentioned this on another person's Substack post and one of the replies came from someone who said she felt badly for my great-grandfather's concubines/sister wives and "countless other women" who had to go through that. However, those for those women, it was the norm. And we can't use our normal for them (I told her that it was a very outsider perspective). Plus just like marriages everywhere, abuse happens in some while not in others. I'm not ashamed at my history that these relationships occurred. It was just a thing. Hierarchy is STILL a thing in East Asian cultures (just look at how we address family members. Each and every person has more than one title, according to how they're related to another. As in, you call your dad's older brother one name, but said uncle's children will call your dad something else (by the way, you'd call that uncle "Bak" while your cousin(s) call your dad "Suk").

@Yeah No: I have a bar of Taza’s 95% dark chocolate in front of me (unopened) and half the bar has 2 g of sugar. But it’s also 210 calories and half of one’s daily intake of saturated fat. If you’re not familiar with Taza, it’s a direct trade brand based in Massachusetts. It’ll probably take me forever to go through an entire bar. I was kind of taught to savour chocolate.

That's true. I didn't grow up with a lot of North American "kid" foods like boxed cereal (we mostly ate plain instant oatmeal, though I DID get the flavoured stuff in high school...I probably ate that once a week at most) and cookies, ice cream and cake (and pop) were once in a while treats. I just don't want that stuff. I didn't even finish my Halloween candy growing up. I don't understand the whole concept of eating ice cream when one is depressed. It wasn't like it was "forbidden" - we just didn't buy it.

Another update: I MAY have succeeded in getting my book into an indie bookstore and will hopefully have it there in time for Asian Heritage Month in May (which is also Jewish Heritage Month). Despite being specific to certain holidays, the very fact the family in the story is Jewish/Asian makes it appropriate to promote in May as well. And again around Rosh Hashanah, of course. And book #2 is coming soon. (besides reading to my son's class, I also had the opportunity to read to Grade 2s at my alma mater! The kids were very well behaved and mostly patient, saving all their comments and questions until the end. Two years makes a big difference (and I suppose being girls only does too)!!! Gives me A LOT of hope))

Squash works too (though I think it's higher in carbs than turnip)!

And some people don't think they have advantages, despite being of certain backgrounds. Or they're categorized as being disadvantaged because of their background, despite clearly NOT being so. And a lot of "culture check" people don't want to acknowledge that it's the case.

I still see carob in stores. I've never had it and it doesn't sound all that appealing, anyway. I mean, if I want low sugar, I'll just go extra dark. I like it extra dark anyway (I've even had 100% cacao!). And Happy Easter to all celebrating (whether of the religious variety, commercial or a bit of both)!!

This. While tuition was much higher by the time I went to school (though lower than American schools...I think tuition for me, including room and board was probably $15-18K (Canadian) at most in the late 90s/early naughts), my parents paid for all four years and part of it for grad school (thanks to a scholarship and living at home). And yes, despite that, I'm told the exact same thing you've been told. What about trying to understand how my immigrant parents worked hard so they could provide that for me? Or how my dad grew up only a few notches above the poverty line in post WWII Hong Kong and still managed to get through not only high school, but undergrad and two master's degrees, including an MBA which took him almost too long to earn? And how he was able to climb the corporate ladder to a high executive level in finance? Why only tell me that I'm an "over-privileged (private school) brat?" I get that I'm much more advantaged than a lot of people, but maybe take the time to understand how my family got there? And how their bilingualism DID put them at an advantage (rather than tell me that my family needs to "decolonize?")? The criticism only separates us rather than bringing us together.

Just the whole "culture check" thing confuses me a lot. Some things put me in the so-called "mainstream" while other issues do not. And I have never thought I was ever marginalized in any way (people seem to expect me to think that I am due to ethnicity). I actually dislike that term when it applies to ethnic background unless there's a very specific disadvantage, like language (e.g. my late grandparents needed the help of my parents to navigate some specialized medical services because they didn't speak English well and a specialist in the specific area they needed care for wasn't available in Cantonese (their primary care doctor was a Cantonese speaker)).

Regarding the culture shock thing: so I’m no longer allowed to talk about a peeve I have with older (immigrant) family members who don’t respect my boundaries or how my idea of boundaries don’t fit someone whose family has been been here for generations because it’s not appropriate? Or that I’m too “colonized” to want to set boundaries? All of this gives me a headache. Wait, am I even allowed to say that?

Yep. Apparently we're either supposed to sound like Munchkins or very young children (it's the voice I like to call Hong Kong Valley Girl/vocal fry. A certain segment of young (and now, middle aged!) women from Hong Kong speak with a certain tone which I think started in the 80s. I saw it on imported TV shows and movies when I was young). Well, we know we're not supposed to make comments on larger people if that's what you mean. But we smaller people are a free-for-all.