CletusMusashi

The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land. They probably escaped from a zoo.

Dear Negan: Please re-read Chapter Four of "The Big Book of Talking Like a Supervillain and Shit.' I believe it is entitled "What the Hell is a Metaphor?" In it, you will discover such delightful trivia facts as "Saying 'Lucille is Hungry' does not mean to have a tea party and pretend to feed rolls to her, you fucking moron!" How the hell do people take you seriously? Eugene is gonna be running the place in a week!

I'm starting to have second thoughts about sex with Rosita. It tends not to end well. Oh, don't get me wrong. I still would. I'm just having second thoughts is all. Actually... can Rosita just hurry things along a bit by having sex with Negan right now? That way, as soon as he sees himself afterward he'll bash his own head in with Lucille and we can find out what's going on with the Evil Bootmonster.

And.. there's that weird little posture tic again. He actually found a way to kill Spencer and still be annoying.

Holy crap with the wardrobe. Negan is visibly morphing into Bowzer right in front of us.

Lucille is gonna be jealous of Mr. Cuey.

I guess now they're gonna be calling him Flat Joey.

Stop bullying Fat Joey!

Yes, but then Negan would steal it.

Daryl is pregnant?

Does everybody in Tigertown speak in these oddly stiff complete sentences all the time? Hey, surprise cast member on Talking Dead. Please be Shiva. Getting interviewed about the scene where she eats Negan.

Watch out for the evil foot!

Daryl has a new shirt. Will the sleeves survive?

I've told you before. Morgan, get out of my Carol story. Go visit Negan. You two can talk about your sticks.

Judith gives better shit-eye than Rick. She's turning into like a mini-Michonne.

At least Negan doesn't use that stupid bat to shave with.

Who is Eduardo and why is his name in the closed captioning?

I'm the same way, almost every week. But as long as there's enough other people hate-watching to make it fun, I'm okay with that. I mean, the worst thing that we enable by indulging ourselves here is a poorly-written imaginary show, and I can live with that. And sometimes they even surprise us and knock one out of the park, with a " ha ha, screw you, this is how good we CAN write!" episode. But even at its worst, it's just a bad episode about fake zombies and really, really, really fake bikers. It's not like our snarkfests are encouraging "Michael Vick's Canine Survivor" or something. Shit, honestly, I think the worst thing that high TWD ratings can lead to is already out there. And it is an expensive spinoff that absolutely no one likes, so let that be a lesson to them!

Maybe "Heart Still Beating," refers to one of the last lines in the song that Negan will make Coral perform with him at the evil biker karaoke bar. Because, obviously, Negan and Lucille's favorite song is "Bat Out of Hell." "Get, it, boy? 'Cause Lucille's a bat! Baseball, that is. Get it? If, I say, if this boy were any slower, I say, his girlfriend would be making soup out of him. Turtle, that is..."

Will there be Aztecs?

Hey, now that's just crazy talk. I realize that this is not a good season, but there is no reason to recommend watching Batman v Superman. Except that maybe, compared to "I'm willing to murder anybody except apparently the Joker" Batfleck, neither Rick nor Negan will look quite as bad as they do otherwise.

Wanting to raise someone else's adolescent kid for them is about as common as just randomly wanting to clean their septic tank. Shit, I'll be honest here. If I really have to choose, gun to my head, I'd way rather clean the septic tank.

I guess the "A" marks him as Negan's property. Because Negan suffers from delusions of Fonziness.

I like how his character has developed. Never thought I would, but I do. However, what I don't like is how the writers seem to be tripling down on the "Eugene-speak" when writing for him lately. I get that using "big" words is kind of thing. It might even be nervous mannerism, that he sort of uses to feel in control when he's scared. But does he have to do it so quickly? In this episode, the syllable per second rate was getting kind of hard to understand.

What on earth would make you think Coral was a fan of "Men Without Hats?"