CletusMusashi

Rick is a great fighter. He cares about people. And he's willing to take charge and give orders. And he often has ideas. Some are actually good. Most... are not so good. So should someone else be running things maybe? Daryl doesn't want the gig. Also, he tends not to do well against people who do want it. He can lead a small group to safety quite confidently under the right circumstances, but politics is not his thing. When it's "do or don't do," Daryl is a fucking god. But when social expectations get complicated, his self esteem issues cripple him. Carl is stupid. And his hat smells like pudding. Michonne is smart, wise, tough, and charismatic, but probably doesn't want the gig any more than Daryl does. Or, for a better comparison, any more than post-farm Herschel did. It didn't matter that Rick has been wrong a zillion more times than Herschel. Herschel was wrong about The Barn, and just never regained his mojo after that, which was a big part of why he was such a strong supporter of the "Anyone But Me!" party. I fear that MIchonne has similar issues, and Rick would end up being in charge again. Glenn has very little resistance to peer pressure. He'll fight to go find Maggie, but not to explain the cons of sending a live human down a well to draw out a zombie. So they can drink zombie water. However, he is very smart... Maggie isn't a bad option. I think she'd accept the responsibility if she had to, and she wouldn't crumple to stupid people as easily as Glenn. Plus, if there was an angle to the argument that she missed, she would still have constant access to Glenn's thoughts. You know, if they could stop making googly eyes at each other for ten seconds. My own vote is for Carol. First of all, she is willing to make the hard decisions, which is pretty much the only claim Rick has to the job. Secondly, she is willing to pretty much destroy her own soul for the good of the group. Without dragging them along. Some of Churchill's most important decisions would never have gone over if voted on publicly, and he knew it, so he did what his country needed, quietly, and carried the weight of it himself. Has she made mistakes? Of course. Horrible crippling marriage? Well, yeah, but at least it wasn't to Lori. Losing track of her kid? That happens all the time. It's not Carol's fault that Sophia wasn't wearing a big stupid hat that magically bestowed immortality. The killing of Karen and David? Either it was right, and she got exiled for it, or it was wrong, and Rick let her get away with murder, or it was somewhere in the horribly grey area that only Carol is suited to lead. Not realizing how psycho Lizzie was? Nobody caught that! And when it did become apparent, Carol was the one who stepped up and shot Old Yeller. So who would you vote for? Bob? Sascha? Gareth? The only rule for this discussion is that once they die on the show they're no longer an option. Otherwise every single one of our posts is just gonna be "Herschel, Herschel, Herschel..."

Cartman's mom was on the cover of "Crack Whore Magazine." Plus... you've sen Eric.

Count me among those who found the idol spaced exactly seven John Rocker-sized paces from the well to be a bit suspicious. I mean, there's sort of a height difference between some of these people... Also, how the hell did he think Val had two idols? If she got one on Exile Island, and one in camp, and then he found one in camp... how many does he think there are, exactly? Shouldn't he still be looking for the other twenty-three?

Oh, I know perfectly well the writers intended no such coherant explanation. Maybe she actually did address it in "Pangs," though. A little bit. When Xander outright said something that she'd often been thinking to herself, she reacted noticeably to it because a big part of her had been hoping that he didn't feel that way. As far as becoming a significantly better person, that would have been too much work. Instead, she shut out most social clues and retreated into her emotional safety zone of "Money and orgasms are good; complex voice inflections are stupid."

1. A member of your group is in a life-or-death state and you need to go on a medical run. You take two other members of your group with you. The place you hit up is completely overrun and you get into a real jam. You get the supplies, and you're pretty close to your vehicle, but you're almost out of ammo and the herd is closing in. You realize you need to sacrifice one member of your group, so that you and the other member can sprint the last few yards to the car in relative safety. Who do you sacrifice - Dale or Andrea? Dale. And that's coming from a viewer who honestly liked Dale. You're never going to get him to leave Andrea, though. The only way to save even one of them is to save the one that you actually can. Plus, once I'm alone in the car with Andrea, she might want to have danger-sex. 2. Your group has taken a prisoner and is keeping them in a secure location, separate from the main living quarters. All adults of the group are needed for an important meeting to decide said prisoner's fate, so you decide to place one of the older children on watch duty for an hour or so. Who do you choose - Patrick or Lizzie How is this even a question? Patrick, of course! I would choose anyone over Lizzie. I would choose Lori over Lizzie. I would choose Shane, while I had sex with Lori, on top of Carl's corpse, over Lizzie. I would choose The Governor over Lizzie. I would choose the fat rapist who wanted to make sweet love to Carl over Lizzie. I would choose Eugene over Lizzie. I would choose Meghan, playing with her stupid mud pies and one-eyed pirate chesspiece, over LIzzie. I would choose Marilyn Manson and J.B Smoove over Lizzie. I would choose Carl, right after he lost his shoe, emptied out his gun, and ate 112 ounces of pudding, over Lizzie. 3. Your group has just set up camp in a new location and you are assigning various jobs to all members. Who do you place in charge of cooking - Cannibal Chef Mary or Lumpy Pancake Queen Lori Mary. And if she complains about needing more supplies, I will be happy to tell Lori to go in and "assist" her. Shouldn't alter the overall plot too much... Carl: This burger makes me want to go dangerous places without telling anyone! Andrea: These fajitas make me think I really shouldn't have to work in the kitchen! Shane: This meatloaf makes me want to shave my head and kill! I suppose Tyreese would have to be Judith's mother, but at least then we'd understand how he manages to care for a newborn for months on end without any formula... 4. You're on the run with your family (spouse and one child) when you find what you believe is an abandoned house to hole up in for a bit. Only when you reach the attic of the house do you discover someone else is already living there. Who would you rather run into - Tomas or Joe? Joe. At least I didn't have to think for a second to remember who he was. I'd hate for my last words to have to be "Wait, who?" 5.You have to spend the ZA as a Walker, whose style would you most want to adopt: Bicycle Girl; dragging yourself across the land at a snail's pace, Well Walker; bloated but well hydrated. or Tasty McDangly Legs; just hanging around, watching all the fresh meat that passes by? Well Walker. They don't really suffer from boredom or hunger; they just respond to prey stimulus when they see it. Less stimuli means less appetite. Plus, maybe he can order out. Didn't he have Korean delivered once?

It was made more palatable by the fact that Halfrek and D'Hoffryn were more fun to see than just about anyone else on the show at the time. But, yeah.

I think Anya still has her original human soul, but when she's employed as a demon there's also another, eviler soul riding on top of it. And bear in mind, her original soul was fine with turning Olaf into a giant monster that probably killed, raped, ate thousands of men, women, and babies. So it's kind of having a bad conscience on one shoulder, and an even worse one on the other. A fanwank I came up with recently is that the only reason she lost centuries of accumulated charisma and started talking like "Aud" again was that after losing her powers she found herself socializing among the victims of supernatural violence, rather than the perpetrators, causing her to lose enough confidence in her "Anyanka" identity that her old mannerisms from 800 years ago returned.

Joss has a long history of changing his canon whenever the mood suits him. Basically, any project he's with for too long becomes "Dollhouse." Buffy has a sister, Angel is a lawyer... when he's great, he's great, but when he isn't, he still thinks he's great. And he does tend to get bored and make sweeping gratuitous changes. In fact, Joss is literally the reason that we have the word "retcon" in the first place. So, him defending the crappy seasons by saying that Spike was special all along does not necessarily have any correlation to how Spike was actually written for years.

He looks like Alan Tudyk. I kept waiting for him to start playing with plastic dinosaurs.

But Jeff does.

Zombie schmombie. i want to see him use his Spider-powers in a challenge, and then change his vote at the last minute in tribal council because his Spider-sense started tingling. Also, I would not be averse to him swinging from the ceiling while making wisecracks about his enemies. I figure Probst would be J.J.Jameson, John Rocker would be The Rhino... I'm sure other secret identities will become apparent as the game progresses...

I have a problem with rich, famous people who are stuntcasted onto shows with nobodies, only to immediately start plotting against the first person who recognizes them. Just.. don't go on in the first place. Asshole.

Ok, here's one. Who would you rather have behind you with a gun- The Governor, or Eugene?

One of my favorite webseries is "Doraleous and Associates," a series of animated shorts about a dysfunctional group of sword and sorcery heroes.A while ago, they did their own crossover with the show. It starts a couple minutes into this.

1. Which woman would you like to show you the night of your life. Before stabbing you dead in your sleep. Either Michonne or Carol. Michonne is hotter, but Carol has fewer pounds of zombie goo in her hair. The reason I rule out everyone else is that Carol and Michonne are the only women on the show who I believe could stab me to death in my sleep without waking me up. Maggie, for example, might have to finish the job by bashing me for half an hour with a street sign.

Exactimundo.

In Tara's defense, she never got Megan killed. That happened on LIly's watch. Now MIlton versus Lily, I might choose Milton.

You must spend a rainy night hiding from a herd of walkers by hiding in the trunk of a car with: Merle Dixon or Abraham Ford. Merle Dixon. He might accidentally stab me to death with his hand, but on the other... whatever... he might not. And, more importantly, I think Abraham is the more flatulent one. You must spend time in a funeral home, being carried in the arms of someone who wants to just stay there with you forever: Gareth or the Governor. Gareth, for the exact same reason given above. I could beat up Gareth. The Governor, even with bullets in his body, can still still easily stomp down Rick. Plus, I am so damned tired of the Governor. Even if he wasn't trying to sodomize me in a funeral home and then dress me up like his daughter afterwards and make me play chess with him, I simply don't want to see the character ever again. My answer to any scenerio here is to jettison the Governor. Trapped in car with Abraham farts versus The Governor? Abraham. I'll even bring the chili. You must banish from the group someone whose erratic behavior is no longer trustworthy: Herschel or Rick. I'm not sure I actually follow the question. Are we saying "One becomes way more untrustworthy but the other doesn't?" In that case, Rick. Herschel is a doctor, a gunfighter, a farmer, a naturalist, and a hugely important factor in the group's cohesion. Rick is just a very confused man who happens to be very tough, and there's a lot of those around to replace him with. But if we're saying "Both of them are no longer trustworthy, and you have to exile one?" Easy. Still Rick. For one thing, an untrustworthy doctor is better than no doctor at all. And for another, if Herschel is exiled you might see a lot of really good people (and Beth,) go with him. If Rick is exiled, all you lose is a weird little kid and his stupid hat. You must hold someone on your lap and serenade them with "I've Got You Under My Skin": Eugene or Axel. Axel. Eugene might accidentally shoot me. You must leave your baby daughter to be cared for by: Tara or Milton. MIlton is useless without a strong group keeping him alive. Tara actually has killed quite a few zombies. She wouldn't be my first choice, or my twentieth choice, but at least if there's a zombie coming after the kid she won't just run away leaving it a pair of pliars. You get the chance to free Bob from under the shelves at the Big Spot and keep Zack alive by having the walker bite the leg of Michonne or Daryl. Daryl. For one thing, the Dixon family seems to tolerate amputation pretty well. For another, a crossbow specialist who loses a leg is more valuable than a sword specialist who does. And finally, after all this nonsense about snuggling with Abraham and Gareth and serenading Axel... if anybody in the scenario gets to bite Michonne on the leg, it's going to be me, god damn it! Although... just out of curiosity... why would I free Bob?

I suppose we should import some of our old TWOP stuff. But, for the most part, I can't remember much. I only started haiku'ing during S4... which tended to require heavy consumption of alcohol. But I do remember one. About the introduction of a certain trio of characters. I also remember a much better one, about the same exact trio, that was posted immediately after mine, but it's not mine, so obviously I'm not posting it. Hopefully, other people will occasionally necromance some of their own stuff here, though. Anyway, here's mine, that I remember: "Scenery:" Abraham chews it. Eugene shoots it randomly. Rosita is it.

Well, if Christie and Quentin are Wednesday and Pugsley, they should have an interesting time at camp next season...

I agree that he has those things going for him. Also, he's got the whole oversexed swashbuckler thing happening. But could he cheerfully smoke cigars all day while playing with model trains? Rafe could.

That, or Pam misunderstood us when we were demanding that the character die.

Just to clear it up for people, the answer should be in character, but the followup questions generally will not be. Although doing so is allowed, obviously. I was entertained. And.. I have no idea how to write like Andy. That one's still open.

Thread starter asks one of the characters a question. Next person (defined as whoever answers first,) answers the question, as that character. And then writes another question, to another character, for another person to answer. After which they write another and yadda yadda yadda. Example: lettiemaefan420 posts: Dear Bill: Why can you say "look" and "cook" just fine, but have so much trouble remembering how to pronounce "Sookie?" violetandmaxine4eva, if that's who answers first, might respond with: Dear lettiemaefan420: Ah have not yet had the liberty of displaying to you mah flashbacks on the subject, but ah have, on other occasions before Suckeh, been in love. As you know, there have always been supanatural entities living amongst us. One of them, as fate would have it, was the lady to whom ah originally lost my human virginity to... a giant blue diabetic Sasquatch the local tribes referred to as the Ququeh Monster. and then they might follow up with: Dear Sam: Why don't you ever turn into a rhino? Next person answers as Sam, then sends a question of their own to the next character. Got it? Good. OK, here we go for real: Dear Pam: How the fuck do the Yakuza keep on capturing you so easily?

Except that I'm sure whether or not Datak makes a better Gomez than Rafe. Obviously Doc Yewll is Fester, Raiga was Lurch, and Christie is Wednesday... but who the hell is Pugsley?