Petrichor

They probably go to what Flagstaffians call The Bad Safeway - it’s closest. It takes about 15 minutes to get there from CP, which is in an area called Baderville. The Bad Safeway is really bad, though, so I bet they go all the way to Sprouts or Whole Foods in midtown.

I didn’t want to bother her, especially since she was with one of the high school girls. But I totes stared for a few seconds because I couldn’t believe it...

Guess who I’m sitting next to right now?! JANELLE. We’re at the same day spa. She’s doing eyebrows. She looks smaller in real life.

All I care about is that they take Jacob the kitty.

Cute! But...Anyone else notice one of his eyes is way bigger than the other?

I also hate them, as they are such gender crap., e.g., “This is a girly girly GIRL.” When I see a bow, I always like to turn to the parents and say, “Oh, he’s so handsome!”

Yes, that was Josiah. He called it a “one-night shag.”

I would love to see just one of these girls decorate a dorm room before she decorates a nursery.

Poor Lauren couldn’t even answer Si’s question, “If a book was written about you, what would the title be?” She immediately said, “Well, if it was about us...it could be called...’About Us’”? She doesn’t have an inkling of individual identity, not that I would expect her to, of course.

She forcibly reminds me of the prow of a great ocean liner.

Aha! I get u. :) and yes, there goes the neighborhood.

It’s actually really nice here. Fresh air, forests, the Grand Canyon, four seasons, a university, etc.

Word is they bought four houses in the Pine Canyon area; kids going to regular ol’ Flagstaff High School next to my house.

I live in Flagstaff. It’s a small town. I’ll keep an eye out for them.

My favorite moment of the entire episode was the dog's reaction at the end when his owner announces she's bought a gun. Priceless.

Re: Evelyn and Mikayla: I apologize if it's already been mentioned, but my wife and I are sitting here, clutching hands and wincing because Mikayla is emitting a vibration only lesbians can hear and SHE IS IN LOVE WITH EVELYN. It's breaking our hearts.

Austin needs a fundie Hallmark card: "Baby, you're the next best thing to being saved from the fires of hell and the worm that never dies."

I purposed in my heart to ignore Kendra's laugh because she can't help it, but her "Give me a kiss, Daddy," in the baby voice gave me a full-body ick.

Just looking at all that straw made me sneeze. The wedding theme was a weird combo of The Blair Witch Project and an elementary school haunted hayride.

Ladiiiies, do everything I did and you, too, can have a no-account, work-averse, cat-roughing-up headship with two lower jaws!

Derick looks like he should be holding up a newspaper to show the date as proof of life for hostage negotiations.

If I were superstitious, the power going out at my wedding just before the "I now present to you..." would freak me out. As it was, though, they did get a few beautiful candlelit moments. "Butterfly Kisses" is a the grossest song ever written by the hand of man. It puts the "die" in "fundie." Poor Joe. He mawwied her with "this wing." I was afwaid he was about to lose his shit entirely and say "wang." I am gay and even I know Pastor Caldwell is hot as all hell.

The best line of the night, besides "Get my red make-up bag!" was Mohammed's plaintive "I AM STUCK IN THE HIGHWAY."

I can't get over one specific line in Joy's marriage indoctrination audio in the car: "We will explore eight reasons to center your marriage around his mission." At first, I took that to mean "Christ's mission," but now I think it must mean "your husband's mission." Oh man, so sad. Joy has to center her marriage around shitty houses in rural Arkansas, e.g., Austin's mission, I guess. Also, I can smell Derick through the TV. That is all.

"...and such." Hick level: 10,000+