Heathen

Who is that boy to Diana's right? Good god, he looks like he's got some kind of animal on his head. That's Bates-level unattractive. I'd guess that since she has an actual career, she's allowed to travel alone. I'd also guess that she's visiting her son and daughter-in-law for the birth of their baby, her first grandchild. Which is a kind and sweet thing to do as long as it's not Mullet-style attention whoring.

He's probably afraid of that very thing, after Joe and Kendra, Joy and Nostrils, and Jill and Derelict all had honeymoon babies, and Smuggar and Ofsmuggar and Jessa and Ben had within-a-few-months-of-marriage babies. I wonder if Josiah managed to have a conversation with his brother-in-law Jeremy sometime recently.

I remember Ofsmuggar pulling one suitcase, but not "struggling" with it. Douchey husband aside.

That picture of Smuggar and Ofsmuggar was taken the day after their wedding (they were married at 7 at night in central Florida, and he's wearing a wedding ring here). I've always thought of that expression as his "look at me, I've had sex" face. In all the other post-wedding pictures, he positioned his left hand to show his wedding ring. They took their photos with attendants before the ceremony, but sans rings.

I meant a professional! Not Janarella.

They ran out of (overly spicy) food about halfway through, too. Neither of them has any class or taste or gives a shit about other people. I stopped on the way back to my hotel (I live in a different state) and got something to eat. I only saw strawberry wedding cake at Josiah and Lauren's reception. Was there really strawberry everything?

Seriously. I went to get a damned Coke and was told it was a dollar. His mother (my ex-stepmother) is oblivious and our father thinks he's the goddamn perfect child, so it was just fine with them. They could have charged for admission and "dad" would have praised them. They ran out of food halfway through, too. It was mostly spicy shit.

There's a big difference between "strawberry is an allergen, how dare they" and melty root beer floats. It isn't like Josiah and Lauren charged for soft drinks like my idiot brother and his idiot wife's reception.

Strawberry isn't a particularly well-known allergen. They can't please everybody. I'm allergic to nuts. I've been to many events where I can't eat the entree or the sides or the dessert. I don't feel like it's the hosts' responsibility to feed me because I bought a gift.

Far too well-fitting to be $5. Somebody with sewing skills altered that wedding dress.

And if it's Ofsmuggar laboring, Mullet barely contains her glare and smirk.

Frumpy and saggy? It was damn near tight for a fundie! Definitely form-fitting.

We only see what TLC wants us to see, and anyway, every doctor is different. It's entirely possible that Kendra was following her obstetrician's guidelines, if reality is what TLC showed. Also, practice guidelines change over time. I don't know when you had your kids, but here's an example: when my grandmother had her first, in 1947, she had to stay in the hospital for TEN DAYS.

Alert is a Gothardite program for boys. It's kind of a training/fundie indoctrination camp. In Josiah's case, it seems to have beaten the spirit out of him. I don't think he was forced into marrying Lauren, but the common opinion amongst snarkers for years is that Josiah is gay. I think he got married to get out of the house, try to cure himself of the gay, and get to have sex.

The silhouette of Lauren's dress is actually pretty modern and forward by fundie standards. The bodice fits well and the skirt shows her curves. It's about a thousand times better than the shapeless sacks Jill and Joy wore. I think Lauren has a good sense of style -- remember that flowered dress she wore?

He's part Cabbage Patch Kid.

Jill in bare feet in a hospital, tripping over that stupid skirt while holding a newborn baby and after an emergency caesarean section. Idiot!!!

It kind of depends on the shades. I'm reserving judgment until I see them. I don't have a problem with the desserts. It sounds pretty good, actually, especially by Duggar standards. Just think, it could have been Mullet and Jilly with their knives and unboxed cartons of cheap ice cream!

Same church where Jinger married Jeremy? I wonder if they hoped some vestige of class lingered there from the Vuolo wedding.

No wedding ring, or did they take their pictures before the ceremony? Lauren is a pretty girl, but she'd have looked better without the sloppy hair. Her dress is nice enough, from what I can see. Better than Joy's.

I think the Duggars are outliers even for GotHardites. We've discussed before the difference between "leaving it up to god" and "trying everything to have as many as kids as possible." The Caldwells are the former, the Duggars are the latter. I'm not surprised that the Caldwells seem able to use critical thinking skills as far as childbirth goes, while the Duggars tend to get dumber with each successive birth. The Caldwells' belief system is abhorrent, but at least they're not risking the lives of their women and children because they don't want a male doctor seeing their genitalia.

I wouldn't say Jazz (or any other late teenager) is a child. Derelict has been a dick since long before he started the Cross program, though.

I bet the Caldwells' home is clean and neat, too. We really do learn from our parents (and some of us unlearn, but it's hard to buck that example).

Ironically, Jinger herself was born at home. I loled at the Kendra voodoo doll. A Duggar girl delivering a normal-sized baby might be able to birth at home. Certainly not the Duggar girls delivering giant babies after 89 hours of labor with a quack "midwife" assisting.

Can't wait to see Jilly Dully's sour puss* at the Abbie-John wedding. *puss as in face. Not that other part, although that would explain something about Derelict.