Anela

Years ago, when I had puppies, and couldn't open the front door, or they'd rush out (I was home alone), I was trying to be polite, when a few people knocked on the door. We're in a split-level house, so the living room is up a bit, and to the right of the front door. I'm standing on the heating vent, window open, leaning out a bit, and trying to listen to them, not realizing they were Jehovah's witnesses. The dogs were howling, and really-shy me ends up yelling out the window, "I'm sorry, what??!" They gave up, and left something in the mailbox. I haven't seen them again since. They may have decided that I was past saving.

I'm extremely happy tonight, but I can't say why. I'm basically a brunette version of her, in comfier clothing:

I can't remember which episode it was in, so I'm just saying here that I loved the conversation between Lily, Russell, and Julie. That was the funniest part for me.

Aw, I knew his wife was going to leave him, or seriously think about it, from the first episode, when they had the "percentage of happiness" talk. He finally gets it, and she's now in her own place, in a different city. I also figured his daughter's husband was having an affair with the woman at the bar. I was expecting her ex-boyfriend to be there. They made it seem like she cheated, when she was there for the interview. I might watch again, but not to see his marriage fall apart completely.

I keep forgetting that HBO now streams CNN. The only thing I missed about cable news, was being able to tune in when something was happening, and I wanted to know what was going on (twitter used to be okay for that, but now it's just fake blue-checks being boosted, and it really is noisy to me now, too).

I've wanted to get a dutch oven, mainly to try making that no-knead bread, or sourdough. I don't like sourdough, but my dad does, and a gut health professional has pushed it as something that people with stomach issues, should be able to eat. I can't justify the $70 (at least) for one that would withstand 500 degree temperatures, not yet. My stomach has also been a mess again recently, so I'm back to basics, and not making bread, or cookies, or anything like that. Just soup and smoothies. On another note: I have the urge to get the fake Christmas tree out. For years, I've been the person who didn't get into Christmas until Thanksgiving, at least, but I just haven't been in the mood for it, either. This year, I'm still not in the mood, but I'm feeling the urge to try. When I was younger, I'd start in with the Christmas stuff in October (usually watching QVC as they sold decorations, and electronics to those shopping early).

I watched the original as a kid, and if it was hulu that started as one of those sites, offering shows like this for free, I think I watched some of it there, in 2009.

I’m personally tired of people thinking that every kid gets a trophy, and that this mindset is new. There were always rude kids who had parents who didn’t care if they were rude. There were teachers who would stand up for bullies versus the victims of bullying, and say they brought it on themselves. I’m enjoying this episode.

Say it once, say it twice Take a chance and roll the dice Ride with the moon in the dead of night

My favourite thing in the world, is when a man who seems to despise most women, wonders aloud, where the feminists are, when something horrific happens to women he's decided to care about, in another country. He has alternative reasons to "care" and so I get called out as one of the few people who totally disagree with him in most respects, because I wasn't smart enough to leave years ago, and I sometimes talk politics there. Because I don't care what they think of me. It's one thing that's been murder for my mental health, when I hardly have anyone as backup, and I get piled on, if I speak up at all, or see posts with "crickets" when I've been away, for my fucking mental health, and because I have a life I'm trying to live. Somehow. So, I'm setting myself a goal to avoid the place for two months. Not caring about any call-outs, because anyone who knows me, knows what I stand for. What would leave me upset, outraged, etc. I don't need to be on-call for dipshits who just want to bother me.

Oh well, it didn't work. I responded to him. I'm going to make tea, and snuggle with my dog.

I would like to be carefree. I'm currently looking at silly things, so I don't get into a political argument with someone. I can't talk about why, but it's a dead-end with this person, and we are not friends. We share an online space, and he owns that space, so I'm not looking to get banned. I'm also looking at dogs I can't adopt, our local pound is absolutely full, but I can't. Emotionally, or financially. Not yet. I just saw this puppy who reminded me of one I lost eight years ago, when he was almost seventeen.

And with some spray snow or glitter, they can be Christmas decorations.

Okay, I have a peeve when it comes to people dissing anyone who grieves publicly. I'm not talking about those who make something all about themselves. I have a friend who lost a parent earlier this year. She posts things regularly, because all of the people on her friend's list, are people she knows and loves in person, or has known online since around 2006 or before. I'm one of the latter. She shares pictures and thoughts from her everyday life. She doesn't jump on bandwagons, and is always thoughtful, yet she has someone she has known in person - connected through one of her best friends - who makes flippant remarks about her posts about that parent. She also has the impression that a few others think she should be over it by now. If they don't want to see it, they can mute her, unfollow, whatever. Instead, they think their feelings about the way she chooses to express herself, are more important than *her* feelings about her loss, and the impact it has had on her life, every single day, and will continue to do so, for the rest of her life.

I don't know, and I wasn't saying that they should post anything.

In July, I found out about a friend's death, when a mutual friend posted on her FB page. They were good friends in person, I only knew her online, but I loved her. When I sent a PM, asking what happened, she said she'd posted on a small board we're both a member of, but I rarely visit, because I had a falling out with another mutual friend, two years ago. So, I visited long enough to talk about her loss, with a few friends, and didn't post to her page. I think we're just so used to being exposed to them more through social media, and the people who would expect that, just don't get it until they lose someone that close to them. I think people have always been that nosy. I know that I wonder about things, but it also feels like bad luck to be that nosy. I also wouldn't want to be sticking my nose in, on one of the worst days of someone's life, like when someone's been in a bad accident, so I never understood the, "They're like a train wreck, you can't look away." Yeah, you can. When my mum died, we'd been posting updates for some people using facebook, because it was easier than emailing everyone, when she was in the hospital, and dealing with three major surgeries, over the course of a month. dad emailed family and close friends, and I was in touch with them and others, on social media. I don't open my SM up to people I don't know, but I had a few mutuals add me during that time. I realized they were just being nosy, after a while, and then you reach a point, several months later, where you can just feel people looking for an excuse to delete you. Their curiosity was satisfied. It's all so strange. Adding: I have wondered when the live-tweeting of shows and movies started. I wondered if actors got paid extra to live-tweet as promotion of the show, or if they wanted to do it. They interact with fans as they do it. Instagram is also used for promotion, and tiktok. I guess that's a question for another thread.

And the original:

I don't have cable, but I was thinking of a few episodes with Janice. Like the one when he can't break up with her, or the one when he finds out that she's the one he's been talking to online.

George got out earlier, and since I knew he wasn't going anywhere, I took a few pictures before grabbing him, and getting him back indoors. I've been trying to use my proper camera more often, instead of my phone.

I was just watching instagram stories, as I got home, and I saw Rahul Kohli post about his death. :(

I’ve been trying to perk up, but it doesn’t happen for long. I’d be in on that primal scream, if it would help anything. I need help getting out of my head, but I don’t talk much to people, other than comments on social media, or here, because I don’t want to pass on the misery. I’m worried about my dad, my dog, my cats - all I have left - terrified when it comes to any potential future for me, or everyone, at times. Denial is the only place that really gives me some peace, for a while. I almost vented, but I won’t. I need to shower, and get outside, before this weather goes away. I suppose I did vent, but not completely.

Tofu gave me food poisoning, a year ago. I had an iced chai, which helps, sipping it, and I have charcoal on hand, but it doesn’t always help. I make a simple congee now, in my instant pot, to test the waters, when I’m off oatmeal. I make it in my instant pot, and then add liquid aminos to each serving. I couldn’t always handle that, even, with my usual stomach condition, but it sometimes helps.

My dad was wondering where a co-worker was. It turns out he’s on a ventilator. :( I don’t know if it’s Covid, but I’m assuming that’s what it is. They tried to take him off twice, but had to put him back on. I’m still masking up, and need to make an appointment for the vaccine. I still need to see the dentist, but my cat needed the vet again, and now my dog is showing his age a bit. I want to be vaccinated before I get that close to a stranger, without a mask on. Okay, my iPad isn’t working well with the site again. It just reloaded on me, as I tried to respond to something else.