ladle

Here's the thing about Tamra: I loathe Tamra. I loathe her maybe more than any other housewife across all of the franchises, or at least she's in a dead heat with Brandi. However, I'm willing to wager that she's a much different person when she's not filming. Even watching her on UGT and Traitors -- she was very toned down on those shows. She is someone who does Housewives like a job. I think that explains Heather's weird reaction to Tamra in the last reunion. They were oddly chill with each other despite everything that went down on the season because Heather also, to a certain extent, understands this show as performative and is playing a role. Shannon is the opposite. For someone like Shannon, who is basically an open wound of a person, all of the emotions and intimacies of this show are truly "real." That's why it's been interesting to watch her, because we're witnessing her genuine reactions and insecurities, and it's also so easy for someone like Tamra to take advantage of that. And, Tamra is still an awful human being, because she's vicious, goes for the jugular, and she's messing with real people's lives, even if she justifies it as all for show. But, do I believe she could have a good relationship with Spencer and Sophia? Sure. Because I don't think I know what real relationships she has.

Tamra has had nice seasons? Ugh, from the trailer it looks like the women will go after Shannon and Heather this season. I mean fine, I guess, but it seems like they're harping on Shannon's substance abuse problem that she will not acknowledge, which is pretty depressing, and with Heather I get the sense that they're always grasping at straws to find reasons to be angry at her. (Heather can be annoying! But their anger at her always seems disproportionate, to me.) Meanwhile, when will Tamra Judge get her comeuppance??? When, people?? The infamous crying-in-a-bush scene doesn't quite cut the mustard.

Truly, where do the Dubrows get all of their money? Plastic surgery and reality TV gigs can't be that lucrative, can they? Are they brilliant investors? Is there family money? Is this another Tom Girardi situation? I'm intrigued....

It's not, but she's using it for a storyline/to stay relevant. I don't like Danielle, and physical violence is never okay, but I kind of understood her anger here. Danielle's charity event was in February. Teresa's Tulum party was filmed in late summer/early fall (so, maybe September?) and Jen waits until then, when they're on camera, to bring it up? Come on. And I actually believe the hair dresser phone call was an innocuous interaction in which Jen agreed to model for something, Danielle gave her a heads up "Hey, the thing you agreed to is a promo for my hair person - just wanted to let you know in case your glam would have a problem with it." Jen thanked her -- and it seemingly would have been an issue, as Jen didn't do the promo! Danielle thought she was giving a heads up to a friend, and then months later, on camera Jen brings this up as evidence of Danielle's so-called elitism? In that moment, you can see the little hamster wheel in Danielle's brain turning. "Oh shit, this person I had thought was my ally is picking things out of thin air to smear me with." I'd be pissed, too, to realize that now my every move is going to be weaponized against me by someone I had thought was-- if not overtly my friend--at least on my "side." Is it possible that Danielle is condescending to people in service positions? Oh, 100%. But that's not what Jen actually cares about.

Okay, whew. Yeah, I think you've pinpointed what made this so uncomfortable to watch, for me. It did seem to reek of desperation/need for validation/performativity rather than the desire to have a good time.

Did anyone else find Danielle's hookup with the balloon guy uncomfortable to watch? To be clear, I'm not at all judgmental of casual hookups (hey, I was single in my 20's too!) and I've been watching reality TV for long enough that I've seen a lot of shit go down. If it's consensual, no issues here! That said, watching Danielle "seduce" and boink the balloon guy almost made physically uncomfortable. I found it incredibly awkward and difficult to watch, and I don't fully understand why. Maybe because I find Danielle cringey and awkward to watch in general, and I don't know if that's because she's generally uncomfortable in her own skin or if she's still uncomfortable being on TV after all of these years. But it just didn't seem...organic. It seemed performative and stilted. I kept having to pause it and hide behind my hands.

You know your relationship is fucked when your partner references what happened in the Uber last night and you feel the need to argue, “It was a LYFT!”

I don't like Lindsay. I think she is a really problematic person. But I understand her irritation with the fact that Carl has not found a job, nor made any progress toward finding a job, in over a year. That's a nope from me. What is with the giant Man-Babies on this show?? Kyle too, ugh. Like, if you want to still be doing jello shots and peeing on your property line every weekend when you're 40, 50, 60... then you do you. But don't pretend you want to settle down and be a father. Especially when your partner seems to genuinely want kids.

If Carl did have a podcast, it should be called Montaukin’ Thats all I’ve got.

Could West actually be a nice guy?? And not, like, a pseudo-"nice guy" incel type but... actually a nice guy?? I'm sure I'll have this dream crushed, but it's comforting while it lasts.

They're just all so unlikeable at this point.

I remember being glad that they only cast reality personalities for season two since the “everyday people” in season one didn’t really seem to have the constitution for it. It seemed like reality TV people would have more of a sense that this was just a game. How wrong I was! Maybe moving forward they could only have “gamer” reality stars, as someone suggested, although I actually like the mix of people from different shows who bring different skills. Oh well. That said, I do think Phaedra has a legitimate gripe with Dan, as he came very close to the line of actually violating the rules of the show.

I don't care what anyone says: that was a quality episode of TV.

Ugh, here's where I am. Annemarie came in hot for a storyline with Esophogate, lied and was ridiculous, and Crystal was right to call her out. But, Crystal is also a snob and a half. Kyle is probably right that Dorit is too concerned with the overall sentiment of the fans. But the Teddi/Bravocon example was royally dumb. Garcelle is totally within her rights to be upset about what happened with her son, and I totally get her frustration that Dorit retreats into her veil of victimhood when told she might have said something offensive. But, it was pretty damn bold of Garcelle to heavily insinuate on camera that Dorit lied about the robbery. Like, if you want to do that, okay I guess. Clearly Garcelle is not alone in her opinion! BUT then Garcelle needs to stop acting like she's above the fray. You accuse a fellow cast member of fabricating a significant event in her life and you are in the fray, baby! Sutton is completely right that some of the other women, and Kyle in particular, are just downright mean to her! But, if Sutton thinks we are going to relate to her because now she has to "stand on her own two feet" as a horse-owning millionaire, then Sutton... lacks quite the dose of self-awareness. Speaking of lacking self awareness: Erika. They just... all kind of suck at this point. Who am I supposed to root for? All I've got is *checks list* Kyle's dogs, Sutton's horse, and Portia.

I wonder if they'll bring up the allegations against her husband during the reunion.