TwirlyGirly

With decision day approaching fast, some couples begin to see things in a different light; the newlyweds gain new insight when they gather their friends for a housewarming party; a familiar face returns with a surprising revelation. Air date: 2/21/2024

I couldn't disagree more! I don't like her son's patronizing attitude towards her. She's no idiot and she doesn't need his over-involvement in her love interests; following her around, acting as if she's lost her faculties so he must protect her from being scammed and losing all her money. I recall three times when Debbie shut down Oussama in Morocco. The first time they were sitting at a table on a covered patio and Oussama said something to Debbie (it might have been the first time he mentioned they weren't going to marry right away as he had originally said they would) — Debbie called him on it, got up, and walked away. The second time they were outside, seated, and painting. Again Oussama said something that contradicted plans for the future they'd previously agreed upon. Debbie wasn't having it and told him so. The third time was the last. They were seated at a table outside (but not at the same location as the first incident, I don't think) and Oussama began to tell Debbie about what he'd changed for their future again, but she'd had enough. Debbie told Oussama to "talk to the hand," got up, and walked away. That's when Debbie severed ties with Oussama permanently and never looked back. Was Debbie supporting Oussama financially? There's no evidence she was and if she had been, I'm certain her son would have talked about it incessantly to justify his actions. Having watched 90 Day Fiance and all its spin-offs since the first season, there have been quite a few cast members half Debbie's age who ignored all of their fiance's warning signs, but kept hanging onto them, spending thousands and thousands of dollars on them even though it was obvious to their American friends, family — and everyone watching — they were being scammed. Those are the people Julian should be helping, because none of them have been able to find a man who wouldn't scam them.

Note to self: Saying "I don't believe in (fill in the blank)" will immediately put me in Fate's crosshairs, guaranteeing my disbelief will be put to the test in the very near future.

The couple's retreat is rocked by a life-threatening injury, which leads to new perspectives; with Decision Day around the corner, the couples work to strengthen their bonds before having to make one of the most important decisions of their lives. Air date: 2/14/24 (♥️)

The final honeymoon is over, and the newlyweds return to Denver to face a mountain of new challenges. Outside the city, the others gather for a relaxing retreat, and while some have high hopes of deepening their bond, others are on an outright collision course. Air date 2/7/2024

I get so frustrated with people like Sam's mother. With almost everyone having access to a computer connected to the Internet that fits in the palm of their hand, there's really no excuse for anyone's ignorance of the beliefs of faiths other than their own. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are more alike than they are different. What's different is which laws in each religion's holy book they choose to follow, and which laws they choose to ignore. For example, all three holy books say women should cover their heads. Most Muslim women do by wearing a hijab. Orthodox Jewish women cover their heads; Conservative and Reformed Jewish women don't unless they're in a temple that requires women to cover their heads. Christian women don't cover their heads. All three holy books say women shouldn't wear pants. The Bible forbids women to wear pants at any time, but most Christian denominations ignore that scripture. The Quran disallows women from wearing pants in public, or at home when men are present. Most Muslim women don't wear pants. The Torah says women shouldn't wear pants. Orthodox Jewish women don't wear them; most Conservative and Reformed Jewish women do. The above are just two examples of the hundreds of laws in each religion's holy books that are the same. I've heard people say Muslims worship a different god than Christians and Jews, as evidenced by Muslims referring to their god as "Allah" instead of "God." "Allah" is the Arabic word for God; "Dieu" is God in French, "Dios" is God in Spanish, and Dio is God in Italian. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam all worship the God of Abraham; in other words, all three are Abrahamic religions. In just 10 minutes on Google, Sam's mother would learn how much Christianity, Judaism, and Islam have in common.

With one honeymoon in full effect, the other couples face intense issues of honesty and trust; with decision day on the horizon, the couples look to the experts for guidance in their decision of whether they should stay married or get a divorce. Air date: 1/31/24

Removed by author.

Air date: 1/24/24

I realize this series is long over, but I just discovered it on MAX and am watching the first episode. When Egypt and Mike walked into the Dream Studio, Egypt stopped in front of the display of Barbie dolls in different shapes, sizes, colors, and abilities. She gestured at the display and said: "This, this is what I want. I want to show diversity and inclusion. I want to show that everybody counts." Everybody except those who are mobility impaired, apparently (even though the Becky doll who uses a wheelchair was prominently displayed in that section). Instead, she and Mike decided to put an elevator in the Barbie Dreamhouse for pets to use to get between floors. What a slap in the face to every human unable to climb stairs. With all the supposedly talented designers HGTV has, why is it none of them embrace universal design in their projects?

Sam and Citra: Sam showing Paul Staehle vibes with his choice of mate. What is it with these American 90 Day Fiance cast members who have a troubled past hooking up with a foreign woman whose father is a police officer (or part of any law enforcement group)? In the early stage of a relationship, it's common to ask "Do you have any brothers and sisters? Then: "What does your father do for a living? What about your mom?" If the American has been in trouble with the law, and their foreign love interest says one or both of their parents is in law enforcement, the logical thing for the American to do is move on. But they'd have to be smart to realize that's what they need to do, which explains why they don't do it.

OMG YES! I don't want to hear potty humor from anyone over the age of 9. I also am tired of one of them saying something they think is funny, and then bursting into laughter. Most people have learned — before they reach adulthood — if they say something that's funny, they don't need to prompt others to laugh by laughing themselves. You can't make people think something you've said is funny. If you find other people usually don't laugh at your "jokes," that's your cue you're not as funny as you think you are. Do we hear the production crew laughing in the background when either Tammy or Amy make "jokes" about bodily functions? Nope. You'd think after five seasons they'd have gotten a clue by now... At the time she said she could be pregnant, my thought was "Not unless Caleb's penis is two feet long you're not."

Tammy at the Ob/Gyn: Ob/Gyn: Have you been sexually active? Tammy: No. Also Tammy, a few minutes later: I could be pregnant. TwirlyGirly (that's ME!): Does Tammy know how sexual reproduction works? 🤔

I don't know the titles, but I think the author was some guy named Seuss.

I don't think that's the problem. When Brennan said he couldn't say what emotion he was feeling because he wasn't feeling any emotion, my jaw dropped. Human beings are always feeling something — except when dead asleep, or just dead. Did you know there are 3000 words in the English language that describe feelings? Pick one, Brennan. If someone says they're not feeling anything, therapy is indicated — because they are feeling something — they're just refusing to acknowledge it. Over time, that can have a negative impact on their mental health. After DP left Emily brought up therapy again. Brennan made it clear he didn't understand why DP recommended he go to therapy. In his discussion with Emily, he said "I don't know why I need therapy to explain [why I'm not sexually attracted to you] yet." Which had absolutely nothing to do with the reason DP suggested therapy. I think Brennan's opinion of the type of people who need therapy is similar to Emily Gilmore's (Gilmore Girls S2/E18) — and that's why he doesn't want to go: "Yes, disturbed people, deviants, people with multiple personalities who see things and hear talking to them and roam the streets talking to themselves and licking parking meters."

I hate to disagree with you, anoninrva, but...I have to disagree with you! 😉 The others were right when they said to Shekinah in the break room that while she's quick to point out faults in all of them, she doesn't admit to or take responsibility for any of her own. What you call "self-respect", I call narcissism. Andrei got up to talk to Shekinah because Sarper had said — and Shekinah had agreed — Andrei was toxic and his marriage was toxic. Andrei said to Shekinah: "If you're saying I'm toxic, I wanna see why I'm toxic about." I've consulted my handy-dandy Andrei to English translation app, and this roughly translates to: "I want to know what the comments Sarper made — and that you agreed with — were based upon. I want examples of things I may have said or done that led you to believe I and/or my marriage are toxic." But instead of answering the question, Shekinah gaslighted Andrei. First she asked Andrei: "Why do you like to challenge women?" (Why do you think women should be immune to having what they've said or agreed with challenged, Shekinah?) Then: "Why are you attacking me?" (Asking for evidence supporting someone's attack of somebody else isn't an "attack". But agreeing with what Sarper said about Andrei qualifies as you attacking Andrei, Shekinah). Then she said Andrei was "confusing" her (THAT I believe; all of Shekinah's brain power had been focused on gaslighting Andrei, so by that point she had forgotten the one question Andrei had asked her — the one question that was the sole reason he'd gotten up and gone over to her to ask in the first place). Finally she told him to "go sit down" and to "get out of [her] face". (Andrei had been standing five — or more — feet away during the entire conversation. That's more like "social distancing" than being in someone's face, Shekinah). Later she told Sarper Andrei had "shout[ed] at [her]" — but he hadn't. In addition to being a master gaslighter, Shekinah loves to play the victim, and if she can stir the pot a bit while doing so all the better. She'd love it if Sarper and Andrei met up and got into a fight. Kimberly and TJ: Before marrying TJ, Kimberly had learned all about the responsibilities of DILs to their husband's family. She'd been clear with TJ about which of these responsibilities she'd assume after they married and which she would not. TJ told Kimberly what she wanted wouldn't be a problem — but privately TJ said he was waiting until after they married to fill her in on what she had to do. (Fun fact: TJ lied to Kimberly so she'd marry him, and thought once they married she'd have to do whatever he — and his family — expected of her). Since Kimberly was honest with TJ, but TJ lied to her to get her to marry him, I think Kimberly's emotional maturity is at least a decade ahead of TJ's.

I don't know which streaming service you use, but I typically stream it through MAX rather than watching it on TLC on TV because with MAX there aren't any commercials. The streaming companies get the entire season at once, and I think TLC asks them not to post each new episode until the day after it airs (I suspect because they want people to watch it on TV so they'll get the ad revenue), but apparently the streaming services don't have to abide by that. On MAX, each episode is available to be streamed at the same time the episode starts on TV.

Tell All Part 3

Gino and Jasmine: Jealousy is usually rooted in insecurity. When someone is insecure, it's their problem and their responsibility to learn how to overcome it. Therapy can help. When I saw how happy Jasmine was with Miami, I got Russ and Paola vibes. I suspect Jasmine will start putting pressure on Gino to move to Miami by cycling through her bag of Manipulative Magic Tricks: First she'll do a few little things for Gino, and when he notices, Jasmine will say she does these things because she loves him and would do anything for him. Then she'll sweetly ask if they can move to Miami. He'll say no, and she'll cry. The crying will quickly morph into yelling, then screeching, and reminding Gino of all the sacrifices she made to be with him. Finally, she'll remove her ring, throw it on the floor, and tell him she's going back to Panama. The next episode after that we'll see the two of them packing up Gino's house, in preparation for their move to Miami...

Sam and Citra: Sam lives in Cameron, MO and the closest mosque is in St. Joseph, MO - 35 miles away. Converting to Islam is easy; one must declare the shahādah, the Muslim profession of faith: "There is no god but Allah; Muhammad is the messenger of Allah." That's it. But I don't see Sam praying five times a day, abstaining from alcohol and pork, fasting during Ramadan, or making a pilgrimage to Mecca. Citra is devout; I don't think she'll accept Sam converting to Islam but failing to practice the faith.

Just as an F.Y.I.: In Islam, a Muslim man can marry a non-Muslim woman but a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim man. So Citra's father's approval or disapproval is irrelevant. Citra would have to leave Islam to marry Sam if he refused to convert, but if Citra's faith was that unimportant to her most likely she would have already done so and asking Sam to convert would have never come up.

I think Olivia considers religion itself "wrong", based on her family's and the Plath children's religious upbringing, and would prefer her children not be exposed to religion at all. I could be wrong, but I thought that's what she either said or implied when she was talking about the differences between how she wanted to raise their children versus how Ethan wanted to. Which is why I suggested the Congregational Church, because it teaches what I think they would both agree are the values they want to instill in their children, without using fear, threats of Hell, and judgements. Ethan said something that concerned me, about (IIRC) not wanting it to be a "liberal" church. I wish I had the opportunity to get him to explain precisely what he meant by that (which I'll bet he'd have a hard time doing. I think in his mind "liberal" = "wrong/bad" but I doubt he can explain exactly what constitutes "liberal" and why all of it is "wrong/bad". His religious upbringing probably didn't break it down and he's never had to give it much thought, so a conversation in which someone could ask him very specific questions might be very revealing - especially to him).

Dear Micah, Shut up. You don't know as much about Ethan and Olivia's marriage as you think you do. Signed, TwirlyGirly

If I could talk to Ethan about his marriage to Olivia, first I would tell him regardless of your age when you marry, both you and your spouse are going to change throughout your lives. Everyone does: married or single. Our relationships with others changes us. Our exposure to new ideas and new things changes us. Life events change us. We're not the same person at 30 than we were at 20, the same person at 40 than we were at 30, and so on. While it's generally true the most dramatic changes occur between the ages of 20 and 30, there are many events that can occur in the lives of people after age 30 that can cause a profound shift in who they are. It's not that changes in who we are is always responsible for destroying a marriage; it's how we deal with them - or don't - that has the most profound effect on marriage (and potentially other relationships in our lives). Ethan appears to be more closely tied to his religious roots than Olivia is. Yet he seems to have forgotten Gen 2:24 (KJV) "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." I would not describe myself as religious, but there are a few "gems" in the Bible I think are really good advice - and that is one of them, IMHO. For those of us who watch other reality series, such as any in the 90 Day Fiance franchise, how many times have we seen relationships fall apart when either one or both of the fiancés (or spouses, if their journey is followed after they marry) have allowed family members to influence their relationship? Many. When you marry, making your spouse and your marriage a priority over your family is very important - if you want to have a strong marriage. Insofar as the two issues Ethan and Olivia discussed vis-à-vis children: Ethan wants to raise them to love their country and with a strong religious background, and Olivia is seemingly not in agreement. It may seem as if there's no way for them to meet in the middle, but there is! Regarding teaching their children to love their country: I was born with a serious physical disability, and there are some countries in which my life would have been easier had I been born there instead of the US. Canada is one of them; Canada has universal health care and qualification to receive other services for people with disabilities is not based on income. Here I'm caught in the middle as there are services I desperately need, but can't afford, and because my income exceeds Medicaid Income guidelines I don't qualify to receive those services free or at a reduced cost. On the other hand, there are countries in which children born with serious disabilities are hidden away and don't receive the medical care, services, or education that might allow them to work and live independently as adults. So, you can teach your children to love their country while also educating them about issues in its past where serious mistakes were made and how they were — or are being — rectified, and also talk to them about current issues being faced. It's important for kids to learn that while individuals, groups, and entire countries make mistakes, they can also acknowledge those mistakes and work to correct them. Insofar as raising them with a strong religious background, that's also possible. There are many Protestant denominations, and most are not as hardline in their beliefs as whichever denomination the Plaths, and Olivia's family, followed. I was raised in the Congregational church. The Congregational Church emphasizes what Jesus taught: being kind to others, aiding the sick and the poor, not judging others or being a hypocrite, etc. The reverend in the church I attended growing up was a big fan of Matthew 7:1-5 , and he worked mention of it into many of his sermons.. I doubt Olivia would have any issues with the Congregational Church. Ethan would be making a compromise, but I'll bet if he gave a Congregational Church a chance, he'd realize what they teach is much closer to what Jesus preached than whatever church the Plaths attended. There are lots of Congregational Churches throughout Minnesota. I like both Ethan and Olivia, and it's obvious to me they love each other. I think a big part of their issue is their religious upbringing taught them everything is black or white, wrong or right. So finding a middle ground — or even thinking "Maybe there's a middle ground solution here" — is really difficult for them.

When I read the first letter in Ask Amy's column in the Washington Post today, I immediately thought of Gino and Jasmine. I used one of my article gifts so if you use this link, you'll be able to read the column even if you're not a paid subscriber: https://wapo.st/3Gj31pU FTR, the comments support Amy's advice to the LW 100%! I'm happy to see Gino appears to have grown a backbone and doesn't seem quite as willing to go along to get along as much as he did in the past. Let's see how long it lasts.