TwirlyGirly

Gabe: shut up. Maya and Randi: shut up and go home. Debbie, I used to like you. A lot. But when you mocked Rishi's accent and called him a coward you revealed your true colors. Zip it. Gabe - in case you didn't hear me the first time: shut up. I've been doing a lot of research this season on Indian family marriage culture and laws. I recently made a very surprising discovery. In India, adult children are required by law to support their parents. Children who do not fulfill their financial obligations to their parents can be imprisoned for up to three months: Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007: Summary •The Act for the maintenance and welfare of parents is applicable to parents of any age or senior citizens (people above 60 years). •Maintenance orders can be sought against children or any relative who can be the legal heir of the senior citizens. •The Act also mentions the establishment of a Maintenance Tribunal by the State Government. •Parents can hire family lawyers for understanding the context but do not necessarily need one while the matter is before the Maintenance Tribunal. •The maintenance application process is bound to be disposed of within 90 days of serving notice to the children/ relatives. An extension of 30 days may be given in case of exceptional circumstances. •The maximum amount of maintenance payable under the Act is Rs 10,000. This bar is proposed to be annulled through a pending bill after the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (Amendment) Act 2019 comes into existence. •The State government is also required to establish old age homes in a phased manner starting with one in each district. •Non-payment of maintenance and welfare of parents may result in imprisonment of up to 3 months or until the amount is paid, or fine up to Rs 5000. What I think Rishi wants to do is marry Jen, but minimize any negative impact his marriage might have on his mother and uncle. He said in tonight's Tell All that he was looking for a job - I think so he can provide them with financial support. Jen needs to make some compromises, though. She can't expect Rishi to make all the compromises for their relationship. If they can live near his mother and uncle, then Rishi will be able to help them when necessary. Perhaps Rishi could arrange for in-home caretakers for them (although I'm not completely certain about that). Whether there are live-in caretakers or whether they would work in shifts I don't know - I'm still researching whether hiring caretakers is possible. If it is, Rishi would need to pay for it, too. The point is the show is really making the entire situation sound like it's "If Rishi loves Jen he'll stand up to his mother, marry Jen, and not worry about how that may affect his mom - and if he refuses to do that, he's just a cowardly mama's boy who doesn't really love Jen". But that couldn't be further from the truth. It's a hell of a lot more complicated than that and I'd really like for that to be acknowledged by the show and for the other cast members to support Rishi instead of vilifying him.

Shaquille and Kirsten: I hope Shaquille says "No". Throughout the season he's said he needs more support from Kirsten, without saying what that support looks like to him. This is what I believe is the problem: Kirsten doesn't seem to be aware of how much more difficult it is for Black men to become doctoral candidates. They have to jump through many more hoops than White men or women. It's just as difficult even if they're getting their doctorate at an HBC - perhaps more difficult - because at an HBC they're competing against other Black men and women for relatively fewer slots. Kirsten hasn't said or showed that she appreciates Shaq's intelligence, or his struggles as a PhD candidate. Her primary considerations seem to be focused upon whether Shaq will be able to buy her a house, new cars, etc. Kirsten doesn't understand supporting Shaq requires her to attend events relating to his doctoral candidacy, and demonstrating her pride in him for working towards his PhD when at these events. No one at those events will be impressed if she mentions Shaq is going to buy her a house. Instead, when meeting people at these events, she could say how proud she is in him for making the program his #1 priority, even though that means he's not able to spend as much time with her as he'd like. I wasn't able to find out Shaq's field of study, but if it's something that will enable him to help other POC, that's something else Kirsten could work into her conversations with others, too. I honestly believe that's the kind of support Shaq needs and deserves from a wife. But I don't think Kirsten can provide that convincingly, if she isn't genuinely proud of his intelligence and the amount of time and work he's putting into attaining his doctorate. That's why I hope Shaq says "No".

I feel for both Jen and Rishi, but if I had to spend all my sympathy on one or the other, it would be Rishi. Rishi loves Jen. There are probably a thousand Indian girls who would jump at the chance to marry him; a thousand girls younger than Jen (and Rishi), prettier than Jen, and willing to meet the expectations of marriage in Indian culture. But Rishi doesn't want them; he wants Jen. The heart wants what it wants. I may not understand his choice; you may not understand his choice. But Jen is his choice. I have great respect for cultures different from my own. But I do not - can not - respect or accept this aspect of Indian culture. This is cruel. Mothers should always love their children unconditionally. A loving relationship between mother and son shouldn't be predicated upon the son fulfilling cultural traditions relating to marriage. Indian sons are expected to marry (whether they want to or not). The woman they choose (or in some cases, the woman their mother chooses for them) is expected to: Be younger than themselves. Be from the same caste. Have parents who will pay a dowry to her future in-laws for becoming a part of their family*. Be willing and able to bear children (even if the couple would rather not have children). Move into the home the son shares with his parents. Take over the cleaning of her in-laws home. Shop for and prepare the meals for everyone living there. Be the caretaker of either one or both of her in-laws should they become infirm. And this is all in addition to caring for her own children once she has them. Notice that "Is loved by her son" doesn't appear on the list, because that's not important to the son's mother, at least not until a prospective spouse — who meets all the other criteria — is found. At that point, the mother hopes her son does fall in love with his wife. Eventually. This sucks. If a mother forces her son to marry someone to be her live-in housekeeper, home health aide and grandbaby-making machine over a woman he loves wholeheartedly but doesn't check the boxes, she doesn't love him unconditionally. As a matter of fact, I don't think she loves him at all. She's just using him — and the woman he marries — as a means to an end. Granted, this system sucks for women, too. The divorce rate in India is incredibly low: 1%. But that certainly doesn't mean 99% of Indian marriages are happy ones. I'll bet a lot of couples stay together because divorce and the resulting backlash against themselves and their extended families would just be too difficult to navigate. They probably figure "I'll be miserable if I stay married and miserable if we divorce. But if I stay married I'll at least have a roof over my head and food on my table, so sticking it out is probably the safest choice". My God: an entire country lives this way! Understand I'm not saying every marriage in India is an unhappy one; I'm sure they aren't. But I'm confident there are many, many that are unhappy, because the rules pertaining to men for selecting a woman to marry prioritizes the criteria that benefits his parents over how he feels about the woman who's chosen.

Yep. I worked for a major U.S. passenger airline for 22 years and you are correct. The Unaccompanied Minors Fee is $150.00 now and it's totally unnecessary for a 16-year-old unless they have an intellectual disability or something of that nature. Alex can read, ask for help, and I'm sure has dealt with being in crowds of average-height people. There's no need for him to have what amounts to paid babysitters to get him from point A to point B. And for the record, I'd say the same even if he had connecting flights. I had no idea Amber is a licensed psychologist (although I think she just plays one on teevee). I was amazed Amber diagnosed Anna's issues as definitely stemming from International Adoption Trauma and that "we" (Amber and Anna) would need to look in Atlanta for a therapist with that specialty. And it's important Anna get going on this ASAP, because despite what Trent said about Anna over scheduling herself as being the problem, according to Amber the real problem Anna needs to address is her relationship with her family (IOW, her relationship with Amber, because any issues between them are Anna's fault and Anna needs therapy to fix it). I think Anna should suggest to Amber that "we" (Amber) should likewise begin therapy to work on why she feels compelled to continue to control the lives of her adult children. That ought to keep her busy until Alex and Emma are about 30.

Just started watching the series today. Harmonie's issue wasn't about sex or a certain type of sex per se. She said she wanted passion - and expecting passionate sex with one person for a lifetime is unrealistic. Plenty of couples continue to have active sex lives well into their 70's, 80's, and even 90's. But will it be the same as it was when they were in their 30's and 40's? No. The first issue is neither Harmonie's nor her husband's body is going to look nor be able to do the same things at the ages they are now 10, 20, 30, and 40 years hence. Advancing age can play cruel tricks on our bodies and our minds; there's no guarantee either Harmonie or her husband will be physically or mentally capable of having "passionate" sex indefinitely. So if that's what she's expecting from a partner, she's going to be disappointed no matter who he is. Prioritizing that over everything else is why she hasn't found anyone. Wouldn't it be better if the traits she's looking for in a partner were those less likely to be affected by forces outside of her - and her husband's - control? Traits like kindness, compassion, honesty, trustworthiness, etc.? I think they are - for many people - but for Harmonie I suspect not. Furthermore, if Harmonie does get married in 2023 like she predicted she will, the marriage won't last. Why? Because despite hiring a matchmaker, and the matchmaker advising her about what she should and should not do on her first few dates with a guy, Harmonie doesn't follow the rules. She doesn't follow the rules because no one knows more about dating than she does. Even though the guys she's dated aren't right for her. Which is probably because there's something wrong with them. The fact she hasn't married yet despite desperately wanting to has nothing to do with her and everything to do with the guys with whom she's sharing her orbit being defective. Maybe. Or something else. Probably. But it's absolutely positively NOT because of Harmonie. Unless it is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Agree with everything you wrote! IIRC, Jenny met Sumit online when he sent her a friend request, using a fake profile into which Sumit had uploaded a picture of a guy Sumit thought was attractive, and a name — Michael Smith — he felt Jenny would prefer more so than his real name: Sumit Singh. At that time, Sumit apparently thought he was unattractive and was convinced if he showed Jenny what he really looked like she'd dump him. TBH, even though I've never been attracted to any of the men I've met who have South Asian ancestry, compared to Michael Smith I think Sumit is adorable. And Rishi? Gorgeous! I'd date either one!

Can we just send Amber away to a far off location — for an extended vacay? I think somewhere along the Siberia-Mongolia border; that way she can live in Yurt while she freezes her ass off and learns to love camel's milk smoothies. I'm thinking 3-5 years would be good. We'll send Trent to visit her every three out of four weeks. He's not as bad as Amber, but he also has issues. For example, he thinks he has the right to tell his adult children where they can live. Sending Amber away would give her progeny a chance to develop their own personalities, personal styles, relationships with the opposite sex, and finally shake being constantly reminded that instead of being individuals, they are "we" with their mother in everything that matters. I.e. in conversation with Jonah, she's said "We need to get a job" and "We don't need the distraction of a relationship" - Arrggghhhh! But she talks to all of her kids (and the ones who are now ADULTS) the same damn way. If I were there, I'd say "You're you, and I'm me; we're two individuals, not a 'we'. If you hear voices in your head making you think otherwise, seek help; none of those voices are mine." She. drives. me. nuts. On a different topic, when Alex said he and Allie had bonded over their love of tractors, my brain took that old song by The Captain and Tenille, Muskrat Love, and changed the lyrics to Tractor Love. It works! Sort of. 😉 ETA: I wish I'd written "romantic relationships" instead of "relationships with the opposite sex". My daughter told me quite some time ago she thinks Anna is either a lesbian or bisexual. If she is and Amber finds out, bet we'll hear Amber say "We are not a lesbian (or bisexual) Anna, because we don't believe in that".

Although I agree with this generally (most marriages have a transactional element), it's not true of every marriage; not even every 90 Day Fiance marriage. Case in point: Sumit and Jenny. From their introduction on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, most Primetimers were certain Sumit was scamming Jenny. No one could believe Sumit might be genuinely attracted to Jenny; what was the "something tangible" he could possibly get from her? As we learned over the many seasons the couple was a part of the franchise, there wasn't anything tangible Sumit was getting from Jenny. He loved Jenny, and that was enough. Sometimes with couples, just being with each other satisfies something in them outsiders like us can't understand. While it turned out that wasn't the case with Oussama and Debbie, the possibility it could have been was always there.

I thank the Universe I was not born in India. My heart is breaking for Rishi. There's no doubt in my mind he loves Jen. I don't know if the outcome would have been any different had he told his mother and uncle two months later, after they'd had an opportunity to get to know Jen a bit better, but having a brazen, American woman who they didn't know insert herself in a family matter that was none of her damn business certainly didn't help. I hope Randi and Myra rot. In other news - and I posted this earlier this evening in the previous episode's forum: "L.A. hosts the fourth largest number of Muslims in the United States. When the estimated 500,000 Muslims living in the greater Los Angeles area are included, Los Angeles hosts the second largest number of Muslims among U.S. cities." - Wikipedia Also according to Wikipedia, L.A. has the second largest concentration of Egyptians in the U.S. (N.Y. is #1). The point being if Mahmoud does come to LA., and if Nicole is proactive in getting him in touch with the large Muslim community generally, and the Egyptian community specifically, he'll have the support he needs to acclimate to life there as an Egyptian Muslim and may even find employment through contacts he makes in those communities as well. ETA: If I were Nicole, while waiting for Mahmoud's visa approval I'd be visiting every mosque within a reasonable distance from my home, speaking to the women I meet there, looking for a more liberal mosque. They do exist. And when I found one, I'd start attending it regularly because when Mahmoud arrived, he'd be more likely to attend that mosque willingly if he knew I'd been attending it too. ETA #2: Or Nicole could just look online. Like I just did. Look what I found: MPV Unity Mosque, Los Angeles, CA 5998 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90035-2657 Contact: Ani Zonneveld, ani@mpvusa.org The azan, prayer and khutbah may be led by a man or a woman, and the congregants pray and are seated together. Individual men and women can choose to stand/sit to one side or the other if they prefer. *Muslims for Progressive Values

I'm rewatching the last half hour of this episode before tonight's episode airs. It's the scene in which Nicole and Mahmoud are discussing his moving to the U.S. That could work, but only if Nicole makes the effort to do some important prep work. Nicole lived in L.A., right? According to Wikipedia: "L.A. hosts the fourth largest number of Muslims in the United States. When the estimated 500,000 Muslims living in the greater Los Angeles area are included, Los Angeles hosts the second largest number of Muslims among U.S. cities." Also according to Wikipedia, L.A. has the second largest concentration of Egyptians in the U.S. (N.Y. is #1). Nicole should scope out a more liberal mosque, and investigate places and community groups that attract the Egyptians living in the area prior to Mahmoud's arrival. Ensuring he's made aware of these places and has the ability to get to them when he pleases will make it much more likely he'll acclimate to life in the U.S. However...I have very little faith Nicole will do this.

I'm just watching the series now (S2/E4) and oh boy - somebody in that family is going to be dragging out a ladder to clean that mirror tile every month or so. You know how it is; even if you never fry anything - you only sauté - the fat gets aerosolized and coats your whole kitchen. If you're roasting something in the oven that has any fat in it, the same thing happens; you open the oven door and that aerosolized fat escapes into your kitchen. Even just a little bit is going to make the mirror tile look hazy, so it's going to have to be cleaned frequently. Not to mention everything on those open shelves...

I disagree with your assessment of Rishi's feelings for Jen. I see how he looks at her, and how emotional he is when she has to leave. He did a lot to make her accommodations more comfortable for her when she returned - at his own expense. He's trying to navigate a very difficult situation. He comes from a culture in which most marriages are arranged, with varying levels of input from both potential spouses parents. Indians marry Indians; preferably from the same caste. The parents of both meet, and usually the marriage proceeds with agreement from all. Rishi has already made one huge concession in agreeing he and Jen will not have to live in the family home after they marry. Every concession he makes is going to be seen by his family as a rejection of them, and their culture. It doesn't surprise me that he's taking it slow, considering. He loves Jen, but he loves his family, too. He hopes he can marry Jen and have her - and the two of them together - embraced by his family, but knows that may not be possible. Of course he's scared. He could take the easy way out and marry a beautiful Indian woman. But he loves Jen. Why would he go through all he's gone through for the past few years with Jen if he didn't love her? I do agree with what you've said about Randi and Myra though. Although one correction: Myra is married. Randi isn't. But I doubt Myra's husband is as attractive as Rishi so she's just as motivated by jealousy as Randi is. Agreed. Those seats should be in the last row of coach on the next flight leaving India to the U.S.A.

Shortly after Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett many years ago, she was interviewed by Barbara Walters. In that interview, Julia said "Kissing as an activity is highly underrated". I wholeheartedly agree and have lived my life by that sentiment. There have been many times in my life I've spent hours kissing someone I was physically attracted to (but who was not relationship material). I was perfectly relaxed because I wasn't emotionally invested in them. However, with someone I loved - someone I was in a relationship with - I always felt a bit awkward, because I was invested in them and in the relationship. There were the normal relationship insecurities: did they care for me as much as I cared for them? So as much as I loved kissing them, I was always a bit nervous; whereas when it was just a random, good-looking guy I didn't care and I could just relax and have fun. For the record, I believe Jen and Rishi truly love each other, but both of them are filled with doubt as to whether they'll be able to surmount the obstacles in the way of them marrying and living happily ever after. But Jenny and Sumit did it, so I have high hopes.

I was thinking of Martine and Steven from Love in Paradise when I wrote that. Steven is a DJ, and Martine couldn't stand it when other women flirted with him and he was polite to them; I guess Martine thought he should ignore them completely or rudely shut them down. I just learned they finally married, and Martine filed for divorce after 10 months of marriage. Guess she wasn't able to learn to trust Steven and keep her jealousy in check after all. Yeah - that "topless" remark cracked me up. First time in my life I've ever heard someone refer to a shirtless man as "topless"...

My Randi and Myra rant: Anyone whose career success depends upon public approval can't afford to be dismissive/rude to fans/admirers who engage with them online or in person. Any man or woman in a relationship with someone involved in any facet of the entertainment industry needs to either understand and accept that or move on. People have said Randi's contacting Rishi was catfishing, but I have another word for it I believe is more accurate: entrapment. If a friend came to me and said they contacted my partner the way Randi contacted Rishi, I wouldn't say a word to my partner unless and until my friend showed me the entirety of their text/DM exchanges from the beginning of the conversation. Why? Because I'd want to know exactly what my friend said, how hard she hammered him, and how long she tried to get the responses she expected. That Rishi ultimately blocked Randi suggests Randi wasn't going to give up until she got what she wanted. What would be a better test of Rishi's devotion to Jen is checking to see whether Rishi has initiated contact with any women online or in person since he and Jen got engaged, or whether he encouraged any women who contacted him first to continue engaging with him. For example, if a woman sent him a DM that said "I think you're really sexy!" did Rishi respond with just "Thank you" or was it "Thank you. Would you like me to send you a picture that shows how ripped I am?" The photo Rishi sent Randi wasn't a selfie he took just for her; it was an older professional modeling photo that's probably been seen by hundreds of people. Furthermore, Rishi wasn't "half naked" in the photo; more of his skin was covered than what you'd see of guys on the beach or at a pool. Most Americans don't take astrology seriously. But looking to astrology to choose partners and plan the dates on which to schedule important events is deeply ingrained in Indian culture. But rather than trying to understand it, Randi and Myra are just going to...what? Tell Rishi and anyone else that uses astrology in their lives it's stupid because a majority of all-knowing Americans say it is? After all, Americans have welcomed the opinions of foreigners who have come to the US and proceeded to tell us everything we do wrong! /s Everything Randi and Myra have done to meddle in Jen and Rishi's relationship has been motivated by their jealousy of Jen. She found a good-looking, younger guy who lives in an exotic locale, and they secretly wish they had the same opportunities. They're going to try and destroy Jen and Rishi's relationship under the guise of "keeping her from getting hurt". Isn't everyone who enters into a relationship risking getting hurt by their partner? Or do Randi and Myra think they're capable of choosing a man for Jen who will never do anything to hurt her? At 46 years old, doesn't Jen have the right to make her own decisions about her relationships? According to Randi and Myra, she doesn't. Because they — despite not knowing Rishi (although Myra claims she'll know who Rishi really is within 5 minutes of meeting him) or his family at all — are planning to tell Rishi's family he's engaged to Jen. These two women — who have no respect for Jen, no respect for Rishi, and no respect for Indian cultural norms — are going to announce to a family they do not know something that is none of their damn business to discuss with anyone except the person that told them about it: Jen. ARE YOU F*****G KIDDING ME?

Dear Nicole, I asked Google: What do Muslim women wear under a burkini? And in less than a minute, I knew the answer: It's not necessary to wear anything under the pants, but many women wear a sports bra under the top because when swimming, the top can get filled with air and water and ride up, exposing your breasts. Signed, A Helpful Viewer P.S. You should consider getting a cell phone with internet capabilities. Oh! You HAVE one? Girl - USE the damn thing!

Did you guys catch how much that last meal at the drive-thru cost? $97.11 For ONE meal of crappy fast food!

Bingo! My thought exactly - she's been called to testify because if she doesn't, the accused may walk free. Kris never said she didn't know the date of the trial until she received the letter. What she did say is she was originally told she didn't need to testify. The letter said she did need to testify — so something changed. Perhaps it was thought the accused would accept a plea bargain, but he refused to do so. With Kris out of the country, making it difficult for her to testify, the accused or his council may think he has a good chance of being acquitted.

Someone who is an "old soul" is wise beyond their years. That descriptor was misapplied to Dom, IMHO. I had a moment of panic when I read "catercorner". I don't think I've ever seen it written before. My mother used the term, and I picked it up from her - except... she said "cattycorner" and that's how I've always said it, too - and no one has ever corrected me. Had I been saying it incorrectly my whole life? When I saw "catercorner", I immediately consulted a dictionary, and was relieved to discover catercorner/catercornered and cattycorner/cattycornered are both correct. Thank you for introducing me to both a spelling and pronunciation variation of the word!

In regards to the discussion about "gingers" and whether it's an offensive term - especially in the U.S.: Orange tabby cats are referred to as gingers, and the joke about ginger cats is they collectively have one brain cell. There are websites devoted to owners of gingers where they post pictures of their cat doing stupid things, tagged with some variation of "Obviously he didn't have the brain cell today". (80% of orange tabby cats are male.) Orange tabbies are known for continuing to have episodes of the "zoomies" several times a day well into their senior years - they typically don't settle down and slow down until they're physically incapable of zooming anymore My own ginger, Nicodemus von Wittykitty (Nico), is 9 years old, and is still wreaking havoc 3-5X a day. A few days ago, my daughter - who's a public health epidemiologist - was in a Zoom meeting with a client when Nico decided that was an excellent time to do some zooming of his own. He made several "full steam ahead" passes from my bedroom, across the hallway, through the dining room, and over the half wall into the living room (where my daughter was working) and back again. On his last pass, he somehow unplugged our Wifi router. (We're still not sure how he did it.) My daughter's client was talking at the time - and then suddenly (from the client's perspective) - my daughter simply disappeared. <sigh> Here's my point: in the U.S., we joke about ginger cats being stupid. (They aren't, of course. But there are people who believe this to be true). So, if ginger fur is equated to a lack of intelligence in cats, wouldn't ginger hair on humans likewise indicate intellectual challenges? This is how something that started as a joke can have unforseen consequences. And it's yet another reason why some red-headed humans find the term "ginger" offensive.

No - it's not the surgeons. It's the cross-sex hormones. The only surgery Gave has had on a body part we can see is a double mastectomy. When a girl goes thru puberty her breasts grow and her body fat redistributes. If she's transgender (FtM), testosterone after puberty will put muscle mass on their body and also body and facial hair will grow. Body and facial hair covers a lot! After a double mastectomy, you won't be able to tell a FtM he wasn't born male unless he hasn't had bottom surgery and you look there. It's much more complicated for MtF, because when boys go thru puberty there are skeletal changes that are permanent. Their shoulders broaden, their hands and feet grow, their jaws and brow ridge become more prominent. And they develop an Adam's apple. Extensive and expensive plastic surgery can shave the Adam's apple, soften the jawline and brow ridge - if they can afford it. But there is nothing that can be done about the shoulder width or the size of the hands and feet. These are the things that make it difficult for MtFs to pass, and why they are disproportionately murdered more than FtMs. Of course MtFs also need breast implants - if they've gone thru male puberty. If they were on puberty blockers and then began cross-sex hormones (estrogen) they'll grow breast tissue. They'll still need bottom surgery, though. This is why it's so important for trans kids to have access to puberty blockers! If they make the decision to begin to fully transition after a few years on puberty blockers, their ability to pass successfully once they've transitioned will be much better if they haven't gone thru puberty as their sex assigned at birth. It's not an exaggeration to say their life depends on their being able to pass - because it does. ETA 2/7/23 10:29pm I had my daughter look at this photo, and she found the mastectomy scars, around the bottom edge of both areolas. Gabe must have had small breasts, otherwise the scars would have to have been much longer. Ah ha! From the Cleveland Clinic FtM Top Surgery page: That must be the type of surgery Gave had!

Aryanna and Sherlon: "I had to try my best not to make another Odin" Once again, they had sex without birth control. Both Aryanna and Sherlon think the "pull out method" is adequate. Neither of them are aware, apparently, that the pre-ejaculate contains over 1,000,000 sperm and only ONE has to make it to the egg and penetrate it for another pregnancy to begin. Fools.

<waves>

How do I highlight and cut out part of a post I'm replying to and only keep the part of the post I'm addressing? It's not working the same way with the new software as it did with the old. I'm addressing what you said about this all starting with "How Stella Got Her Groove Back": must be the women who only saw the movie but didn't read the book. The movie was all "... and they lived happily ever after" whereas the book - not so much. Especially not from Stella's perspective.