CurlyATX

can someone remind me why in the book Elena starts investigating Mia? Was it to find her connect with Bebe? I know she had some "helpful" reason why she started snooping. I read that Reese added the infidelity element to her role in Big Little Lies. I find it interesting she had this come up with Elena. I think it cheapens her character. Is it bad that I'm pleased that Mia spilled the beans about the abortion? That is one thing I really wished happened in the book, though I admire Mia's classiness.

The family dinner scene was really interesting to me. I felt so sad for Pearl in this scene. She feels like she is really a part of this family, but already Bill is talking about evicting them, Tripp has moved all his guilt onto Pearl, and both Lexi/Elena see themselves as graciously reaching out to someone like Pearl. I was reminded of one scene in Roots where Missy Ann takes a liking to Kunte Kinte's daughter, Kizzy. The mom doesn't like it at all, knowing that there is always an inequity between the two. And at the end, it's obvious that Kizzy thinks they have an equal relationship and Missy Ann betrays her. Mia's feelings reminded me of the Kunte Kinte's wife (can't remember her name)… particularly how it's better to be under the radar.

Dang! I was working in 1998 and vividly remember how we used dial up (with that hideous sound).

true. I guess he's showed her almost zero interest (except at homecoming).

I've been trying my best to watch this show without screaming "no no no!" since it's not like the book. So based strictly on watching the show, I still have so many thoughts. 1. I don't know about adoption in the late 90's but I have a few friends who were foster to adopt parents in the mid 2000's and they said that family unification was always touted as the best choice for the kid. I heard a few stories of parents/grandparents getting custody at the last minute and the adoption not going through (and it broke my friend's heart). Again, not a family law attorney here but I didn't know the law was so cut/dry. 2. This screams pro-bono work. Esp with the Asian attorney. 3. I feel Elena is ridiculously privileged but I can agree with her feelings. Mia came to the Richardson party under the guise of photographer, then went to inform Bebe. 4. Is Mia supposed to be likeable in this story? Maybe the point is that all mothers have good/bad parts? Mia may seem like a cool free spirit who has a tight bond with her daughter but she's really controlling too. Elena seems like the mom whose life revolves around her kids yet she's clueless to their struggles. I find MIa's abrasiveness too much, personally. She doesn't have to make people like her but she seems to act like people owe her something. 5. The kids. Tripp's ED. omg, that was hilarious. I was a crazy late bloomer but also had very suburban views of sex (mainly that I'd be in love, dating exclusively etc). So Pearl's forwardness as a virgin was hard for me to understand. The fact that she wasn't even sure that they had sex made me wonder if she was just trying to "get it over with" to align with Lexi. And why Trip?

I went down a rabbit hole on youtube last week and found this one video all about the "dumb blonde" trope and by extension the blonde vs brunette - beauty vs brains dichotomy. Reese was featured heavily and even she said how even how studios/audiences are not comfortable seeing Reese do certain things. I know she added the infidelity element to her character in Big Little Lies. I do wish that she had a different role in this- maybe Mia? It would be nice to see her be something other than "perfectly perfect".

Because I'm super nerdy, I watched the "extras" for the episodes too. Some things that were bugging me (differences between the book and show) were talked about so I liked that. Though my husband walked in during the baby's party scene and took one look at Kerry Washington (who he LOVED in Scandal) and made a WTF face. I said, "doesn't it seem that her only emotions are 'about to cry' or 'contempt'" and he agreed and refused to watch it with me. The $.70 was interesting, though I really feel that while race does play a part, so does the situation. For the bus driver, no one knows how many riders he has. It's not like he's going to be "short". For the clerk, that money may come out of her funds. I remember my mom was a clerk at a candy store and these bitches from my class would come, try to sweet talk her to help cover their charges for bulk candy. She thought she was being helpful by paying for it (thinking they were my friends). I finally had to tell those girls that my mom wasn't stealing from the company, that she was actually paying for it. Granted, she would never say "F off" to a customer but still. Mia ditching at the party was beyond stupid! Like people wouldn't notice that she was gone? Her cover was to take pictures. I'm also a little annoyed with "super sexual Mia". I get it that a lady has needs but something about the way they film it reminds me of a cross between a Black Widow (like she is going to murder the guy after) and this stereotypical Jezebel oversexualized AA woman. It's making me feel weird. Now, as for the kids... ugh, I'm really proud of Brian for standing up to Lexi. She's a piece of work plus extremely popular. It must not have been easy for him to say that her essay was wrong. Also, isn't Yale smart enough to see past this? Isn't a student's racial identity part of their application? I know CA had rules later to prevent race being revealed for college applications but I assume Yale would know. I had to laugh at the "panic stricken" look on Pearl's face while dancing with Moody who said something to the effect that Pearl makes everything great. She looked like she was looking for a way out, fast. She's too young to say upfront that she only likes Moody as a friend. That takes a lot of self awareness and situational guts.

I'm stealing this!! On a random side note, I finally took my son to get his eyes checked after a major parenting fail of him telling me he needed glasses and realizing his last checkup was 2015. The doctor gave him a color test since boys can often be color blind. That literally was a test to "see color". I was snickering inside.

oh yeah! We started a Diversity Equity task force and I can't tell you the comments I overhear from white guys about "why can't we just hire the most qualified person?" And I always love the "I don't see color" line. In my head I always snark "then you should see an ophthalmologist ASAP." yes. I think in the book she only slept in the car to help her drive across country faster. I liked how she had the spunk and some resources to get by, even if it were just in a low-key way. I had the feeling that Pearl never felt "poor". I assume it's like how my kids just take for granted that we shop at JC Penny vs exclusively buying Vineyard Vines or whatever.

Very good points. I'm Indian and grew up fairly middle class- small business immigrant story. Currently I am almost always the only POC in a room. I've sort of been conditioned in this "model minority" way not to show any negative feelings about this, so having the forthrightness that Mia has to show Elena that she isn't excited and grateful is something I've never thought about. Your point is really spot on. My husband (also a POC but with a different back story) most likely would agree with Mia. (ie I'm supposed to kiss up this gal who is generously renting me the house that she freaking inherited and now wants me to be her maid and be so grateful and honored). And the point about being transient is an excellent one- again, one that isn't part of my DNA. I'm a big connector and find "friends" everywhere (even loosely like through blog and message boards). I can see how if you moved several times it would be easier to just say distant. Plus, it seems like Mia is running from something that would make keeping in touch harder.

That is hilarious. So I guess instead of "Thurston Howell III", he'd be known as Trip or Trey? Do they have something for 4? I find this all so incredibly fascinating. My husband was a Junior and HATED it (always being called "little" Curly). For my kids we just looked at the rolling credits of movies and found ones we liked and argued between us. The legacy prep school in SF went coed the year after I started, so I was shielded from all of this. I'm sure there would have been a few Trips and Trey's who lived in SF and Marin County.

I need to learn to enjoy a show on its own even if it deviates a lot from a book. But I'm not doing that now. Right now, I'm bummed because so much of the deliciousness of the book revolved around the irony that I enjoyed how the author shows that there really is no right/wrong on these situations but rather just the choices a person can afford to make. And like mentioned, there is no victimhood. Isn't there a line in the book about learning to live with the choices you make or carrying the choices around.

I thought the same thing! Though is she were trying to get on Elena's good side, her sudden turn after wine talk didn't help. Mia can't be this clueless on how to work people, can she? Also, unrelated... but I was a bit perturbed by her crazy sex scene flashback. in the car with baby Pearl.

I think RW is a very good actress and I'd love to see her expand beyond this typecast. I find her character really interesting- this was before pintrest! Sex is scheduled, the kids each have their own color coded calendar stickies AND lunch bags. Was Reese calling out "Elle" as a good nickname a call out to Legally Blonde? What the heck name is Tripp? That has to be a nickname too, right? Seems very Mitt Romney.

ugh! This doesn't bode well. I almost wish Reese and Kerry switched roles, though I know it would mean a lot of other swapping around (with Brian being Black/AA). I'm bracing myself (fuzzy consent with Brian and Lexi?). It's almost like neither one really read the book and just attended a book club discussion and went from there. What I loved about the book was has seamlessly all these pieces fell together. Mia and May Ling, Izzy and Pearl swapping places, Lexi and the abortion using Pearl's name, and the botched surrogacy. The racial issue of who should be May Ling's mother was enough. I was a newly minted fresh-grad in 1997. Was being gay such a big deal in high school?