Melancholy

I love Faith. Such a great character. She's most responsible for her choices. However, she was a poor teenager, cursed with awesome powers and made responsible for the fate of the world. Meanwhile, she was abandoned and manipulated by all of the adults in her life. She's a sympathetic case. I don't blame the Teen Scoobies for her fall. Faith needed financial help, discipline, and better training and psychological help much more than a gang of pals. The Mayor filled that void I partly blame a Watcher for Faith going off the rails- but it's much more Giles than Wesley. IMO, Wesley was unduly blamed while Giles got away with his neglect/outright horrible strategies with Faith. Wesley basically just landed in the United States in Bad Girls- the episode where Faith starts stealing stuff and accidentally kills Finch. Now, I don't think Faith's crimes in Bad Girls were particularly horrible crimes of malice. Bad Girls and Finch's death were warning signs that Faith was going off the rails- but she could have been righted in Consequences. However, Faith's bad actions in Bad Girls did logically stem from how Giles had neglected her for the entire season. Giles never took any responsibility for Faith at all. He didn't train her as he did Buffy- which IMO, could have accounted for why Faith's fighting was more chaotic and Faith couldn't respond to Buffy's order to "Stop." Faith's not used to fighting while also keeping her ears open to the orders to whomever is Watching her. This is displayed in Doppelgangland when Buffy stops herself from staking Vamp Willow because Willow said to stop. Willow: Nice reflexes. Buffy: Well, I work out. Buffy works out in that manner because Giles makes her and directs her. Giles did not do that with Faith. Heck, Faith rejects Wesley immediately on site but we only see Wesley make any effort to train Faith one-on-one n Doppelgangland. In addition, it's a disgrace that Faith, a slayer, was living in a hole of an apartment complex and had to sell her body to make rent. That kind of poverty was a motive for Faith to steal in Bad Girls and then, it was a motive for Faith to work for the Mayor. Faith was living in that hole for months while Giles wasn't lifting a finger to help her- all before Wesley came to California. Wesley did one stupid thing that antagonized Faith- brought the Watcher's Council to arrest her in Consequences. He deserves responsibility for antagonizing Faith that way. (Angel's big fancy "intervention" about how he, a 250+ vampire who killed thousands and thousands, and Faith, a teenage slayer who accidentally killed someone in her line of duty and yes, recently was assaulting Xander, had ZERO redemptive or intellectual value to me. Wesley wasn't interrupting anything helpful there. In fact, we are all dumber for having listening Angel's speech and may God have mercy on his soul.) However, Giles also made incredibly stupid choices that antagonized Faith: 1) I have no idea why Giles made a huge show of yelling at Buffy for Finch's murder and indicated Buffy would be punished in front of Faith when Giles could somehow tell that Faith killed Finch. Giles actually started this whole mess of indicating to Faith that she'd be punished terribly for an accident and that stopped Faith from admitting that she killed Finch. But at least Wesley had a GOAL when he indicated Faith would suffer big consequences for killing Finch- arresting Faith from the general population, taking her case to the broader Council of Watchers. Giles didn't even have a goal in intimidating Faith from coming clean. 2) The Scoobies and particularly Giles wanted it both ways with Wesley. They wanted to deem Faith only Wesley's responsibility. However, they didn't inform him of basic facts surrounding his responsibility. They should have told Wesley in Consequences about Finch's death and tried to work with him to deal with it. Especially since Wesley started off the episode by directing a mission to investigate the causes of Finch's death. 3) By Enemies, Faith did sign up to work for the Mayor. But the Scoobies didn't have any proof that Faith personally committed crimes of malice. If the Scoobies suspected that Faith recently signed up with the Mayor, they should have tried to make some effort to convince her that this was a bad decision before she actually put her super-powered hand to evil deeds. Giles, Angel, and Buffy don't even try a safer, kinder way to figure out if Faith is working for the Mayor. Instead, they set up this whole entrapment plot with "Angelus" to manipulate Faith into crossing new horrible immoral lines and then, they publicly humiliated her in such a way that Faith didn't see a way back to the gang and goodness. You certainly can't blame Wesley because again, while Giles was sloughing off all responsibility for Wesley, he was concocting secretive schemes to manage Faith and leaving Wesley out of them.

Well, I say Angel became worse and worse over his series. He was far more likable in S1 when there was hope that getting his own mission and friends would make a positive impact. However, he grew arrogant from the mission and abused his friends. However, I go round and round with myself on whether that was intended and Angel is actually an anti hero.

I feel really sure that if Willow was bashing people in the Scoobies for being socially grotesque, she would have started with bashing Anya directly. Long before she got to Xander and especially Giles. This really feels like a guy-bias than a Xander/Giles bias.

That is true that Cordelia decided to move out the Hyperion. I still think Angel had a duty to leave his hotel open to Cordelia and Connor as a refuge in the middle of an apocalypse. I stand by what I wrote earlier than Angel should have seen that Cordelia was clearly affected by her mysterious life as a Higher Power and tried to help her. Jasmine kept people confused on the identity of the villain until late in the season. Lorne couldn't detect Jasmine when Cordy sang. However, Jasmine didn't have the power to brainwash the gang into doing anything until Shiny Happy People/The Magic Bullet. Aside from that, these are independent minded characters who made choices based on their feelings. Angel made a choice to only see Cordelia as a slut who did him wrong who should be thrown out in an apocalypse instead of who she was, a woman infected by her life as a Higher Power who needed help. Then when Angel realized Jasmine infected Cordelia, Angel made stupid, self-centered choices to try killing Cordelia instead of trying to cure her. Then after Jasmine, Angel made a choice to throw Coma!Cordelia in a W&H hospital because Coma!Cordelia can't serve Angel's needs.

That all works with dogma. Tara follows Leaders. Sometimes it's Leader Wiccans who took an oath, sometimes it's the commanders of her gang. However, we never see her actively decide on a complex issue based on her own internal value structure. Buffy and Giles are the Leaders of the gang. They signaled that Spike/Anya were welcome and Tara welcomes them accordingly. By S5 for Anya and certainly by S6 for Spike, it was more transgressive and rebellious to really call them out for what they were. Tara follows Oaths taken thousands of years ago or direct instructions on how to make a light spell. With the resurrection. Tara was in a Catch-22. Willow was the Leader of the Scoobies. However, Willow was transgressing against prior Wiccan leaders. Tara decides to support the resurrection by picking the leader next to her. XANDER: It's just ... (fidgets nervously) It feels wrong. TARA: It is wrong. (Willow looks surprised) It's against all the laws of nature, and practically impossible to do, but it's what we agreed to. If-if you guys are changing your minds- WILLOW: Nobody's changing their minds. Period. XANDER: Excuse me? Who made you the boss of the group? ANYA: You did. TARA: You said Willow should be boss. (Willow moves away) This is how Tara thinks about stuff. I really can't think of anything more dogmatic than for Tara to justify the resurrection spell because that's what they agreed to in the past even though it's "wrong." As Cordelia would say, she’s a sheep.

I never interpreted Willow as gushing over Bangel in that sentence. Instead, Willow was feeling the tragedy that Angel's previous adoring focus on Buffy had been corrupted and twisted into an obsession with hurting Buffy and her friends. In this scene, Willow was terrified that Angel broke into her house and killed her fish so she ran over to Buffy's for comfort and protection. Willow wasn't enjoying or delighting in any of Angelus's behavior. I don't think Bangel was a healthy relationship but I can see how a teenager like Willow would find it romantic. Modern teenagers don't think ahead to whether they can have children with their crush or whether they can grow old with their crush. Teenagers, instead, think about how their crush can make life great RIGHT NOW. And Angel definitely had his RIGHT NOW benefits- he was gorgeous, he had the strength to help Buffy in her mission, Buffy could be honest about her mission with him because he was already clued into the supernatural, he was more thoughtful about giving gifts or remembering Buffy's needs than the standard high school boy. But then, Willow got enthusiastic about every potential boyfriend for Buffy in high school other than Xander because Willow had a crush on Xander. Scott Hope, Owen, that random dude asking Buffy out in I Only Have Eyes For You. When she matured by college, this crazy enthusiasm for getting Buffy a boyfriend quieted down but she still took a very strong interest in Buffy having successful relationships with Parker and Riley.

I'm fine with the Soul Restoration. First of all, there's only two tactics to stop Angelus from being a danger to the world and humans- stake him or ensoul him. Since the safety of humans and the world is the most important, I'm down for either tactic. Once Angel became a danger to public safety en masse, his possible trauma from the events of S2 was no longer important. It's ironic that you're positing whether cursing Angel with a soul is fair to Angel when *Angel* as a character only exists BECAUSE he's cursed with a soul and the memories of his past deeds. I know that I don't give a fuck what's fair to Angelus. An Angel without a soul should just be a pile of dust. It doesn't really compute for me to be "fair" to Angel by refusing to restore the thing that makes him "Angel"- his soul. Willow, Buffy and Co. weren't in the gypsy's position. They knew that Angel, once restored with a soul, did not stake himself for hundreds of years and then, they knew him as a guy who was living a whole life filled with heroics and romance and hanging at their club. I think it's logical for Willow and Buffy to believe that Angel would want his soul back more than to be a pile of dust. Moreover, it's a little like Buffy's resurrection in the sense that ensouling Angel gives him options on how to carry out his unlife instead of the gang making choices for him. If Angel is ensouled, he could choose to life with the S2 memories or he could stake himself. That's kinder to Angel than a bunch of teenagers projecting on whether Angel would rather be a pile of dust. I agree that Willow was being tactless. But I dunno, I have sympathy. She was still in a wheelchair, bruises all over her face, and she just went on an enormous limb casting that spell from her hospital and she was even possessed during some of it. She also really took Buffy's misery over the last few months to heart more than anyone else in the gang. I think Willow reached that point where her own emotions and problems were so overpowering that she didn't have room for tact. But yeah, it wasn't a great thing to say.

As a Hamilton fan and a Resurrection-defender, I love this one.

I say "sanctimonious piece of..." I also don't believe that she ever loved Willow- even though I believe that Willow deeply loved Tara. Tara frequently seemed exhausted by or even repulsed by Willow being Willow- energetic, inventive, brilliant, sarcastic, questioning of rules and structures, inclined to talk about her feelings and work them out through discussion. I LOVE all of that about Willow. Still my favorite TV character of all time. So, Tara was just a failure of a love interest on that very elemental level.

Agreed! Angel is a selfish, disloyal, cruel sack of garbage past S1 on his show. To add: Cordelia- When Amnesia!Cordelia started acting strangely in S4, Angel never questioned if she was all right or traumatized from her life as a Higher Power. He just slowly started resenting her because she wasn't properly performing as his yes-woman/love interest. When she slept with Connor, he kicked them both out in the middle of an apocalypse without a hearing from Cordelia or even seeing Connor. Angel is SUCH a devoted father that he would smother Wesley in the hospital- but apparently, not devoted enough that he would give his son a home in the middle of a rain of fire if his son was fucking Cordelia. And he didn't love Cordelia enough to give her a roof over her head in the middle of the rain of fire. Then even when Cordelia talked her way back onto the team in Long Day's Journey, Angel, again, doesn't try to talk to Cordelia to figure out why she'd sleep with a boy whose diapers she changed. Instead, Angel's solution is to dangle Gwen as a romantic rival because his ego requires a Love Triangle. Then when the gang learned a demon parasite took over Cordelia, Angel's first and last instinct is to kill Cordelia instead of trying to treat her. Just like several eps prior, Willow offered her mystical help to the AI gang if they needed it but Angel never called Willow to assist with trying to take out the parasite/Jasmine without killing Cordelia or with Cordelia's later mystical coma. Instead, he just dumped her in W&H's hospital and forgot about her until she woke up to stroke his ego. (But when Fred was dying and all of the guys were competing on who can Most Dramatically Save Fred, Angel threw a snit that Willow wasn't waiting by her phone to receive his call for help. "Can you get her astral down here?") Cordelia spent her years in LA fighting W&H. HELL NO, she did not consent to being dumped in a W&H hospital even if they were handing out manicures. Fred/Wesley/Gunn- Fred died because she was working at W&H. I don't believe that Fred and Wesley certainly and Gunn and Lorne probably truly consented to work at W&H. Angel pushed his gang to consent by (a) wiping and inevitably altering the memories of a sea-change year and (b) bulldozing his choice as a "executive decision" directly over Fred's objections to working there and Wesley's lack of commitment to working there. I'd think the gang didn't properly consent just because of the mindwipe even if the mindwipe just eliminated Connor memories. Certainly with Wesley, just eliminating Connor dramatically changes Wesley's personality and feelings about following Angel's lead. However, it's particularly stunning that Angel didn't re-set the gang's make-up to pre-Connor. Because if Angel did that, Wesley would be the Boss and would have the final say on working at W&H. Instead, Angel and Vail somehow eliminated Connor but also displaced Wesley from his position as Boss. Wesley/Gunn- There was no reason to provoke the Senior Partners into an apocalyptic fight. @Halting Hex correctly describes how the tactics were stupid and seemingly designed to kill the non-powered humans. However, Angel never articulated why the world would be better off by the gang fighting the Senior Partners at this moment. It was designed and even sold as just as futile, stupid, suicidal gesture. The gang wasn't rescuing anything of value. They didn't have a clear strategy to eliminate a threat that had any chance of winning. The humans were just the canon fodder so that Angel could feel like a BIG GUY making his LAST STAND. And Angel felt the need to do this BECAUSE he already had sold out his team's principles by signing onto W&H. That's how he got Fred killed and assigned Cordelia's medical/mystical care to the series' villains- so killing the team's women. Then, Angel decided to get his own back and feel good about himself by getting the men on his team killed.

I liked Suzanne too and also sensed some ambiguity. I don't think there's a hard and fast moral rule that it's much worse to be the Other Woman if you are acquainted with your paramour's spouse. At least not with me. Every spouse is a person. Every person has struggles and vulnerabilities. Suzanne isn't much worse to me because she saw Betty at the market and for like, a few parent-teacher events. But even if there is, I think we were supposed to regard Peggy's and Joan's affairs as ambiguous and somewhat sympathetic. They also interacted with their paramours' spouse. Margaret would come into the office as a young girl when Joan was carrying on with Roger. Ted's little boys were running around the office. Suzanne is worse because she betrayed Sally. I'm not so bothered by Suzanne being acquainted with Betty. It's the Sally-part that really feels like a betrayal because (a) Suzanne interacted with Sally a lot more beyond mere acquaintances and (b) Suzanne actually had a direct, clearly defined duty to Sally's quality of life but she just had a general vague human-to-human duty to Betty's quality of life. But still, Suzanne is ultimately morally grey to me. It is an ameliorating factor that Suzanne is the one single woman that we see trapped out in the burbs. She was a young single woman both living and working out in Ossining surrounded by spouses and families. She needed to commute long ways to find a diverse, plentiful dating life withe single men her own age. However just by standing still, plenty of married men were hitting on her. Of course, the correct answer would be for Suzanne to be proactive about commuting to the city if she was truly lonely and longed for a boyfriend. However, there's a strong impression that she was depressed about her own fraught childhood and her brother's problems and this depression was immobilizing her from building her own romantic life. In this desert of loneliness and stress, Suzanne lurched for Don like an oasis because he had qualities that particularly attracted her. People look at infidelity differently. I get more ticked off that Midge, Rachel, Joan, Peggy, etc. had a whole sea of available single men around them and in all cases, actual specific boyfriend options or potential set-ups RIGHT THERE but spurned those better moral options to chase after a married man than at Suzanne was being acquaintances with Betty. But yeah, Suzanne betrayed Sally which is really terrible.

I'm rewatching S5. A few thoughts: Lady Lazarus has a whole storyline about how it's IMPOSSIBLE to get the Beatles for the Chevalier Blanc commercials so they have to find a substitute song that sounds like the Beatles. Then, the ep ends with Tomorrow Never Dies. Very cute meta humble-brag, show! Pete v. Lane is one of the very best antagonist relationships on this show. Bit by little bit, Lane offends Pete without intending to until Signal 30. First, Lane created the Pete v. Ken competition by lying to both them. Then, Lane chose to promote Ken. But then, Pete couldn't believe in Lane's choice as a fair one or coming from the company instead of Lane, as a biased rogue boss, after 24 hours later, Roger and Don picked Pete over Ken for SCDP. In Pete's mind, that isolated Lane as "the guy who has a problem with me." Proposition- Peggy never really fell in love with her parade of guys on this show. She strongly platonically bonded with Pete, mainly AFTER their affair. She bonded with Stan- although IMO less than Pete- BEFORE they became romantic in the series finale. However romantically, Peggy expended energy for the status of having a guy instead of pursuing of a particular guy for himself. Peggy didn't want to be alone but her True Love was always Work. This is particularly clear with Abe. In Far Away Places, she's unhappy in the relationship and seems like she'd be cool if he broke up with her. Abe doesn't appear again until At the Codfish Ball. Peggy misreads the relationship to believe that he's breaking up with her but then, becomes all pleased when Joan indicates that Abe may be conferring the ultimate high status of Wife on her. Then, Peggy goes along with moving in with Abe. When Maaaa accuses Abe of using Peggy for practice, Peggy never defends Abe's honor or their relationship or stresses how they love each other and how they're not each other's practice but instead The One for each other. Instead, she just mumbles "Do you want me to be alone?" It's a clear admission that Peggy settled for moving in just because she doesn't want to be alone- not because she truly wants to live with Abe. Alexis Bledel gets so much crap for her acting- until she finally earned a strange new respect from her work on The Handmaids Tale. It's complete bullshit. I always loved her as Rory Gilmore, but when you add her work as Beth Dawnson and then, Emily on The Handmaids Tale, it adds up to incredible range. It's a huge about-face that Ed Baxter drops a huge bomb on Don that The Letter poisoned SCDP's reputation with any blue chip companies. By At the Codfish Ball, it seems like a fact that's going to define SCDP's business. ....And then, the end of S5 and S6 is partly about how SCDP got Dow and GM and became a huge blue chip ad agency. I think the moral is that there's no such thing that as "company-to-company loyalty" in business. Mad Men's story DOES believe in individual-to-individual loyalty. Individual-to-individual loyalty dramatically defines the course of lives on this show. However, Mad Men doesn't believe in company-to-company loyalty even though it gets bandied about. At least, betrayals of a company don't get the karmic justice of betrayals of individuals. Mohawk came back to SCDP. And by analogy, Don particularly wanted American Airlines because they stood him up. Don/Pete/Roger/Bert/Lane/etc. got to betray PPL without consequences. Ed Baxter gives a speech about how Don is too dirty to represent big companies after he betrayed Lucky Strike. Then a few months later, Ed Baxter signs his company to Don because Don, then, retorted with a speech about how he'd brutally fight for Dow to have 100 percent profit share no matter how many Vietnamese civilians are murdered with Dow's products. And Ed completely bought into that because the promise of greater profits means more than Don's actual past actions that supposed offended Ed's principles. Don and Co. have a particularly charmed business life but I think it reflects a reality that loyalty to a business is never as important as loyalty to a person.

Why Big Is The Best SATC Character. more of a hilarious article than a perfectly constructed argument

Carrie did the latter. She up and left. Yeah, she had a few minutes of helplessness and pouting (IIRC) until she found the Carrie necklace (symbolizing finding herself). But she left.

Alex was speaking in French with Very Important Art People who he was paranoid about impressing because it was important for his show's success. Completely wrong environment for Carrie to practice her beginner's French. There was no role for her in a rapid-fire French tour with Very Important Art People other than to sit on the bench. This all could have been avoided by Alex not being a whiny, clingy baby and letting Carrie keep her own social plans. I said I agreed that Carrie shouldn't have brought her friends unannounced. Carrie has a long-standing horrible pattern throughout the series of not thinking ahead and being considerate enough to call folks. I think it's part of her self-centered thoughtless attitude that she only lives in the NOW. She should have told Alex that she wanted to bring her friends over. But he was also a jerk. It's a jerk move to rennig on social plans while everyone else was seated in the restaurant. I don't think Carrie bringing her friends over was bad enough that Alex should have coldly dismissed everyone. I don’t like Carrie with Alex. But I don’t like Alex either.

Aw, sounds like a great party!

Alexander wasn't *evil* but I thought he was snide and humorless and condescending and phoney and cold. He wasn't with Carrie long enough to really fuck her over but I thought he was a giant warning sign. Sure, it was a little awkward that Carrie brought her tipsy friends upstairs. But I wouldn't call it a "jerk move." Alexander had agreed to meet Carrie's friends and he was the one who renigged on the plans at the last minute while the girls were in the restaurant because of vague artistic "inspiration." That was the jerk move. Carrie should have shot Alex a call or text telling him that she was bringing her friends over instead of apparently, bringing them over unannounced. However, I get that she was trying to rehab the night so Alex could meet her friends as they planned. He should have made pleasant conversation for ten minutes and then, retired back to his studio while Carrie hung with her friends. Instead of coldly dismissing them. A lot of the Carrie/Alex conflicts involve both of them behaving badly. Like, I also thought Alex WAS a jerk to respond to the news that Carrie's best friends has cancer by immediately bringing up his friend that died. However, Carrie's horrified reaction to Alex's cold condescending bluntness was part and parcel of Carrie being unable to recognize the seriousness and sadness of Samantha's situation because Carrie feels more comfortable mouthing optimistic platitudes and treating everything like a big party. In Paris, I agree that Carrie was stupid and should have called the restaurant where her fans were meeting to let them know where she was. That's where Carrie fucked up. But, Carrie was legitimately stuck sitting and pouting in the gallery because Alex demonstrated through dropping her hand and hustling ahead of her while speaking entirely in French that she was not supposed to follow. Alex shouldn't have asked Carrie to abandon her plans unless he was committed to including her throughout the evening. I thought Trey was sexually dysfunctional and weird but ultimately, had a good heart. He and Charlotte were wrong for each other but I hope that Trey, off screen, got over his demons and found the right woman.

I've said it before and I'll say it again- one of the great artistic and political achievements of Sex and the City was to lean into how Charlotte/Samantha/Miranda are Types of Hated Female Caricatures and make them lovable despite or or even BECAUSE of those types. Actually despite the Obama/Trump Era Woke Olympics in Hollywood, I haven't even seen that ever since. Women are most often short-hand hated or dismissed because they're a "ballbuster" or a "prude/princess" or "slut." Still today, a guy can discredit or throw mud or shame any woman if he's able to effectively pin one of those labels on hard enough. If a woman has any of those tendencies, she will inevitably spend a lot of time trying to moderate her reputation so she's not perceived as the dreaded caricature. SATC actively leaned into those tropes and asked what's wrong with being a princess or a slut or ballbuster? If that's a woman's personality, everyone else can shut the fuck up about it as long as she's not using the caricature to hurt other unfairly or make bad choices. Like since this is the Charlotte thread, Charlotte reaches a peak of growth and hard-studied spiritual knowledge by falling in love with Harry and converting to Judaism. But when she enters the mikvah, she's still a prissy princess enough to ask if it was previously drained and Carrie voice-overs that Charlotte is still Charlotte. I love that so much.

I think we're always going to disagree on whether Big loved Carrie because it's a subjective opinion on chemistry. I think there were other women who'd accept Big's distance. Frankly, I wouldn't even call TV Series!Big's behavior toward Carrie "crap" other than actually, his intense persistence in having an affair with her until he turned her "nos" into a "yes." He was an asshole to Carrie then. But more often, Big didn't want to commit to Carrie as fast as she wanted. But generally, he was fun, honest, interested in her life, financially generous and as well as generous with attention even when they were broken up and there was no obvious sexual pay-off. *I* wouldn't want to date Big because I'm a Charlotte in the sense that I only date with a goal of marriage/children. I have no interest in dating for the sake of sex and temporary companionship. However, Carrie pretended to be interested in dating just for sex and companionship even though she was dating with a goal of marriage and being taken care of. However, I think there's lots of women who'd like to have a casual romance with a guy like Big. As for Natasha, I don't know whether Natasha would have been up for a Round 2. Seems unlikely but we don't know. But that's because Big actually DID treat Natasha like crap. He cheated on her and lied to her repeatedly and invaded her home with his mistress. Big didn't put *Carrie* through any of that.

I will give Carrie that Big was complicated. I don't agree with this mass consensus that Big never really loved her and Carrie just delusionally imagined that he loved her until deux ex machina happened in Paris in the season finale. Chris Noth very excellently plays Big as in love with Carrie even back into S1 and SJP very excellently plays this tension where she can feel that Big loves her but it's ultimately frustrating and painful because Big's love for her only materializes in a feeling of chemistry instead of actual commitment and earnest sentimentality. In addition to the actor's chemistry, it becomes evident in the series that Big loves Carrie because he keeps coming back to her and only her. There's no other woman that Big keeps wanting to try again with. It's just that Carrie had to pick one of two dignified good choices on how to deal with a man like that- (a) stay with Big and try to be patient and accepting of his commitment-phobia because there's real love there or (b) leave Big because he's not giving her what she needs and she should look for the whole package of chemistry and love AND commitment in another man. Carrie doesn't pick one of those choices- she picks both and in picking both, she makes a hash of both choices. She also makes a hash in how she approaches her options. She has periods in the series where she stays with Big in the hope of forming a closer relationship but she's never really accepting or empathetic but instead, constantly impatient and seething inside. Then, she has periods where she leaves Big to find the whole package in another man but then, she's so hung up on Big that she can't fall in love with another man even though she lies to herself and them about it. There are a few exceptions. I do think Carrie was patient and accepting of Big and trying to patiently work on their relationship in S1 and apparently, between the end of the series and until Big proposed in the first movie. I think Carrie really tried to leave Big behind to give her whole heart to Berger but mainly, Berger screwed that up.

I think Charlotte genuinely loved Trey as she initially perceived him but she was immature and shallow in how she didn’t want to get to know him beyond his appearance as her dream guy. She was so desperate to get married and Trey seemed so perfect that she didn’t want to talk herself out of anything. But there was love. Charlotte fell head over heels for Trey when he rescued her on the street- epitomizing bravery and kindness. She broke her own rule on not trying to sleep with him before marriage because she was genuinely passionate. When she gets married, she learns more disturbing things about him. I think she holds on longer than most women. I think an immediate undisclosed ability to have sex is generally annulment time. And I think that’s primarily because Charlotte had fallen so hard for Trey and she felt bad for him and secondarily because she wanted to avoid the embarrassment of the marriage failing so fast. Note- I think Trey approached Charlotte similarly. He also wanted to get married very fast and I saw no signs that he had deep conversations about the private parts of her childhood and life. He genuinely fell in love with her image as a fairy princess and thought the magic of her beauty and rush to take care of him would supplant the motherly dysfunction of his life. And I think that he was so generous to Charlotte when the marriage fell apart because he felt guilty and because of his love for the Ideal Charlotte he perceived. It appeared that Charlotte and Trey discussed general interest things in their courtship- restaurants, art, the theater, charities, upper crust gossip, the Ivy League. The cultured upper crust can fill a lot of time with those general interest conversations and believe that those conversations are profoundly revealing of the other’s character and suitability as a mate. I will absolutely criticize Charlotte for marrying Trey so fast. But I have no criticism for her wanting to have kids promptly after they agreed to have them, except for the criticism which was part of getting married too quickly- they weren’t right for each other and it would have been tragic to bring a child into a failing marriage.

Yes, I haven’t met a woman with as voracious a sexual appetite as Samantha. She’s at the heart of the conservative critique of the show that real women aren’t this obsessed with sex and sexual variety and SATC is more a reflection of gay men than straight women. I think there’s some truth to that based on my experience. Early Miranda is also far more interested in no-strings sex than any woman I’ve met. That said while Samantha is completely different from any woman I’ve known, KC makes you believe that Samantha is real and that she’s authentically that interested in intense, athletic, sex with a lot of different men free of any emotional intimacy.

Clever analysis of Carrie’s tutu in the opening credits

I particularly LOL at the part where this chick tried nine TV pilots, most of which were reality shows, and then in the next paragraph bitched about Gawker writing about her as a fame whore and “they gave me infamy- and I just didn’t want it.” Lol, that’s why she wrote about her sex life and was thirsty for a reality series. Whatever I may say about Carrie, she conducted a more dignified life than this FAME WHORE.

These posts are a mischaracterization of Harry. I don't see how one could conclude that Harry just got with Charlotte to bang her and drop her when he was the one who kept trying to have meaningful, romantic pillow talk, take her on dates, publicly double-date at the Hamptons wedding, get his back waxed to do that. Even when Charlotte just wanted only sex. Actually when Charlotte just wanted to bang Harry and drop him. There's a Pacific Ocean of commitment levels between "bang her and leave the woman" and "won't marry the woman." Actually, Harry and Charlotte both had their cultural-tradition-influenced ultimatums. Charlotte couldn't get serious about a man unless marriage was on the table. That's hardly universal. Plenty women could embark on romance without marriage in the offing. Meanwhile, Harry couldn't marry a non-Jew- another hardly universal, idiosyncratic requirement. As a Jewish woman, I completely understand Harry's position. I don't take it myself- but that's partly because I'm a woman and I can rest assured that my children will be considered Jewish even if their father isn't because Judaism is passed on matrilineally. Carrie didn't say much beyond how Aiden looked great with his new haircut and bod. I think Carrie knew academically that Aiden was a catch and would be great long-term partner. She felt foolish that she gave that up. However, she didn't think deeply about their relationship. Because, I think Carrie theoretically liked Aiden but she found him annoying and boring in actual practice. It's interesting to consider how Carrie evaluates her life since she lives it out-loud in the Sex and the City column. Carrie writes a column where she plays the romantic heroine, looking for her happy ending. I think that pressures her in ways that aren't discussed in the 4th wall breaking ways. Hence the "flights of fancy." How does a romantic heroine handle the miserable narrative twist that she cheated on a gem of a guy that her female readership would love and she wound up dumped and alone? I see the pressure to subconsciously reach for a narrative with Aiden that doesn't end on him dumping her for cheating on him. Subconsciously reaching for a narrative of a long-term relationship with the right guy because it's been like, years and years of this column and she's nowhere near her conclusion and it's getting embarrassing. More can be explained about Carrie with the column.