Victor the Crab

Best from the show this week: Key & Peele participating in that piece about ex-felons in Virginia being allowed to vote. Even though their final show was in November, I miss those two already. Roy using Drumph's actual words for a narcissistic, self indulgent rap song. Sheer brilliance!

Great performance by Lin-Manuel Miranda in support of Puerto Rico. As for the play itself, everytime I hear or read about someone wanting tickets to Hamilton, my initial response is "People want tickets to go to Hamilton, Ontario, just south of Toronto?" Too bad Rick Mercer's show is off for the season. He would have had fun with that. Oh, and a big fuck you to Strom Thurmond, that racist piece of shit!

Because, REVOLUTION! Because those people want Bernie Sanders to act like a dictator, and not a president, that will do their bidding. But no one, not even Sanders, thinks that's a wise idea.

Trevor was correct in honoring Prince at the MoZ, like all public figures who pass away. Prince was a very talented performer, but that's all he was. A performer. Not someone who's actions had a profound effect on society that reverberates beyond, like a bombing or a horrific mass shooting would.

First time for me to see the revamped opening and...it was weird to say the least. The panoramic shots of New York made sense after Stephen opened with a bit of a monologue and announced his guest lineup. But using it as a cold opening felt kind of disjoined. And not having his "one more thing" was disappointing because it was a carryover from TCR. I like Bailey's and I like Lucky Charms. But combining the two of them? No thanks! That's going over the top.

No.

So why are the Bernie Sanders supporters sitting for Samantha all old and oldish? They couldn't find any young millenials who make up most of Sanders' base? Were they afraid that group would turn obnoxious and humorless (which was possible) and try and create a mini Bernie rally in front of her and the crew? Samantha raised some good points to the group, that obviously went way over their heads. If the Republicans can hijack the agenda of a sitting president they accuse, among other things, of being a socialist, which Obama is not, then you can be damned sure they'll go full throttle against someone who is an admitted one. And the notion that the American people will rise and raise their voices at the GOP for denying them the right for a President Sanders to implement his agenda is laughable because, among other things, Republicans have NEVER listened to what the American people have to say. Things don't change at the snap of a finger. It takes time.

Unmanageable hair, an ugly tie, and zero fucks to give. I really liked that British House of Commons speaker.

Jessica is great, but do we really want that? Imagine if someone said that about Stephen or Ollie. Should they be exclusively favored over someone like Samantha, whom everyone here finds to be their personal number one right now?

Just wanted to add: Ronnie's starting to come into his own as a frustrated, starting to simmer over individual.

Uh, I flew in a Hercules aircraft roundtrip. Does that not count for coolness points? That whole bit about CPTime was just utterly lame. I get that everyone involved were in on the joke and were cool about it. But Hillary Clinton and Bill DeBlassio were so stiff and lifeless when performing, they could have been cut up and used for firewood. Some people shouldn't attempt comedy and those two were exhibits A and B on why. He did. But I also remember a TDS piece years ago about how Asian males were discriminated in the porn industry.

Trevor had better be hopped up on caffeine pills and espresso when he talks to Ben Carson.

My conspiracy theory: CBS will decide to switch timeslots with its late night hosts. James Corden's show will assume the 11:35PM time slot in order to create a suck off with Jimmy Fallon, and Stephen will take over the 12:37PM time slot, because they assume their audience is astronomically stupid. Feel free to ruthlessly dissect this indiscriminately.

Being obnoxious and bullying is not the way to win over people to your side. Bernie Sanders' supporters need to get it into their thick heads that their guy is not a Democrat, and therefore the party faithful are not inclined to give him the nomination. Samantha is spot on when she says Republicans wish they could have superdelegates.

It's all about wanting to hate a group of people because, Jesus! These right wing religious whackjobs can't go after same-sex couples because they've flat out lost in the courts, so now they've turned their attention to trans people in order to feel superior. They will lose that one as well, as they're starting to find out now. And Jessica made a good point. That turd of a chaplain should be accused of being a pedophile if he feels it is necessary to go after trans people for being washroom predators. What's good for the goose...

They're not doing the show any favors by putting the interview in the middle of the show. Maybe because they led of with the Democratic primaries and had on Debbie Wasserman-Shultz on as a follow up it wouldn't be too bad. If they try doing that with a celebrity type, I think many people would bail in a heartbeat. I thought the Panama papers leak was a far better story to lead off than the latest from the primaries.

More than likely. The Mets beat the Los Angeles Dodgers three games to two in a National League Division Series last year.

I hope whoever gets those tickets manages to show up in those Yankee Stadium seats in the most slobbinly obnoxious manner possible. That is so hilarious.

Good. :)

If millennial snowflakes need to know at hand that something might be upsetting to them, then they will not be prepared to handle the real world. Because the real world doesn't give two shits about their feelings.

I thought TNS had a good point about the micro aggressions of today's college students. I'm not sure whether to laugh or facepalm at these little snowflakes for getting so worked up over a TRUMP 2016 chalk writing. Would it make them feel better if they just - I dunno - washed it off? Or, more specifically, if someone decided to re word it into "TRUMP IS A HALF ORANGUTAN"? Or does reading the word TRUMP sets off their triggers?

I know Jon would definitely do it if he were still host. Will Trevor dedicate tonight's MoZ to the memory of Garry Shandling?

I'm not buying what Lindsey Graham is selling. It seems he's lashing out at Drumph because the GOP can't control him, and only sees Cruz as the lesser of two evils because he's somewhat establishment. Trevor's piece at the beginning successfully showed how much the GOP has in common with Drumph. And if he does become the eventual nominee, then Republicans like Graham will rally around Drumph because they will consider Hillary Clinton to be far worse The right says Drumph doesn't represent their views, yet won't admit that decades of their stupid, ignorant, mean spirited, repressive, backwards thinking policies that continue today are what gave the party Drumph as their presidential candidate in the first place. Either wash your hands with this nonsense conservatives, or STFU and GTFO. You don't get to have your cake and eat it too!

Then what's his purpose? Is it because he enjoys being a douchebag asshole?

I want Boaty McBoatface to win SO BAD!!! That has got to be the best thing ever in online voting. I had the opposite reaction.