Tasya

I guess it's an interpretive thing. Personally, as an "older" mom, I know people who outright say that they are too selfish to have kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. If you choose (key word) not to have kids because you don't want them to interfere with your life and you do want to be able to go whenever you want to, it is selfishness. I think the issue comes with saying that people are wrong for that when they are not. I did not become a mother until I was 35 years old, and I tell people all the time it was because I was selfish. I did not want to devote my life to a child until I was ready to do so. Once you are a parent, it becomes all about your kids, and it's hard to find and keep your own identity in that. Right now my son is in three sports and goes to a private school a 1/2 hour away, which turns into a 1.5-hour commute during rush hour. Most days I can't even think about taking time for myself. So we should normalize selfish decisions when it comes to deciding to be parents. If you choose to do it, you need to want it; unfortunately, I think there are too many mothers out there who should have chosen to remain selfish and not have kids. In Jinger's world, selfish decisions are demonized. They are supposed to make every decision with JOY in mind, so in my opinion, when she holds up a mirror and sees her family of just 2(3) kids, deep down, she feels it's selfish based on how she was raised, and she's not sure how to reconcile that.

I was puzzled by the first spate of responses because I also heard her saying that she felt as if she was or would be judged as selfish for not having the expected 15 kids. Now they did veer into pro-life talking points, but that's to be expected and I won't debate that here because everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But on the kids versus no kids front, she mentioned that she was raised to think that people who didn't have a bunch of kids must be selfish or hate kids and how that was a struggle for her to reconcile (paraphrasing here).

I have rarely seen Jana pictured at Jessa's house; by contrast, we have frequently seen her in California with Jinger. I think of her siblings, Jana is particularly close to JD and the rest of them are at about the same level. I don't get the idea that Jill is some ideal of a Duggar sister. Jill was an insufferable smug snitch who fully bought into the family ideal when she was growing up. Just because she seems to have embraced a somewhat crunchy image, I don't think she's changed that much. Personally, I don't read Jana as cold, but rather as introverted. Which in her family has to be difficult to deal with. If I was forced by some god-awful circumstance to spend time with a Duggar daughter, I would pick Jana and/or Jinger. Jana because I could probably read a book quietly while she did some project and be just fine. Jinger because we could go to Starbucks and be perfectly content not talking much at all. I think Jill is annoying and Jessa, well I'll just say no thanks there.

I completely agree, plus her responses to various questions about that section of the book were very "implied abuse"-like. She knew or Derrick knew exactly what kind of speculation that section would lead to.

I enjoyed the video. I think a definite fundy lesson is to, contrary to what they say, wait to get married. JD and Abbie and Jana and Steven (seemingly) are proof of that.

I guess mileage will vary, but IMO, Jill could have written that entire passage without adding anything about Jana being "one of Gothard's girls." In the context of what we know about him and what he was doing, it's very insinuating. She could have simply highlighted the family's interactions with Gothard and his cult and never sneakily added in there that one of the sisters spent extra special time with him. She (or Derrick) knew that adding that would give that section/mention more oomph.

In her book, Jill all but said that Jana was abused by Gothard. Whether or not it was true, it wasn't Jill's story to tell, especially considering her abuse. In writing and promoting her book, not a single line should have been written about any sister who hadn't given their approval and/or publicly shared the information on their own. Add that to Jill having been the acknowledged snitch when they were growing up, and it's not too far-fetched to think that Jana just doesn't care for her that much. I only have 4 sisters, and if I got married, 2 of them would be lucky to even get an invite; they definitely would not be a part of the wedding party. So blaming JB for Jill not being a member of the wedding party is giving him too much power. I think going by everything else associated with this wedding, JB and Michelle likely had no influence. Jana looks to have picked her own wedding party and that's fully her right. I actually disagree that Jill was classy in her answer. That's a question that should have gone unanswered. Her answer is passive/aggressive.

They look so very happy; I'm just sincerely thrilled for them. I will click on all the videos and photos because honestly, I don't care if Jana makes money for being a "Duggar". She's had to deal with so much for so long; including taking the fall for the missing "M" kid (I still do not for one second believe she was the adult responsible for that).

I understand what he was saying, and I don't take it negatively. To me, my partner is the most attractive person in the world. But objectively, there are better-looking people out there.

I'm so happy for Jana. One because she waited and did her own way. I have absolutely no doubt and have always maintained that JB received plenty of "offers" for Jana. She's always been the most responsible (big factor for these fundie men) and, in my opinion one of the prettiest of the sisters. I think despite the many faults of JB, he does love his kids. I believe he let her make her own choices about turning down men. The article has some great insight into who she is as a person. I don't think their worldview much aligns with the Duggars, so that will be very interesting (if they continue as Mennonites, I know many, and they are not Duggars) to watch in practice. Also, Stephen is extremely nice-looking, successful, and from a prime fundie family. The fact that he kept coming back for her and didn't give up says a lot about their connection. The fundie moms were probably tossing their daughters at his feet (literally).

I would have said men or women if it was an issue we had seen in the Duggar women. I think that they have other adjustment problems; just because their belief system is patriarchal doesn't mean the boys aren't victims as well. We have seen in these fundie families that they don't consider all sons equal. One interesting thing that I think came through is that John is someone they trust. It came out concerning his driving and flying, but I think just from the way she emphasized his name, you can tell she meant, as a person, that she trusted him. When you think back to what her eldest brother had/was doing, that speaks volumes.

Pre-show, they were really and truly poor. It explains why these kids have some of the issues that they do. I understand why the men get chubby once they have their own homes; any kid that had to run to the bathroom to get personal time and hide their food... It's quite clear from this that Jinger will NEVER have more than 4 kids. Jana definitely turned down multiple people and is either choosing to remain single or starting much later, so her family is naturally smaller; I'm sure JD did that as well. The trauma so casually revealed is wild. I'm glad she can look back with some fondness, but man, oh man. The younger spoiled boys who were born mainly during or just a little before the show started filming are the ones who will end up with the bigger families, and that's because they didn't get the full experience that the older ones did. Overall, this interview serves to highlight the overwhelming selfishness of the parents who choose to have these huge families without the financial ability to support them. Imagine choosing to have your kids exist like this to bolster your ego and agenda.

She's over where the little hut and the firepit are; you can see it right in the video and the picture. Her outside area is behind one of the basketball hoops. So she's not directly behind the house but up and to the side

I think it's likely a bit of both. I am sure being around Heidi's family shows him that you can be their "type" of Christian without going to some of the extremes that Jill goes to. It also falls in line with what he is used to, which is that the maternal figure rules the roost. No matter how much Jill shouts from the heavens about David being the big man around the Barndo, it's quite obvious that she runs things. So for Tim, it would be natural for him to look to Heidi's mom, and eventually, as their family grows, Heidi herself to provide him with direction.

Tessie is easily the most attractive of the Rodlets. If Jill doesn't make her start fasting and have her adopt that gaunt look AND doesn't take control over her appearance more than she has so far, she could score big on the son-in-law scene. That's if Jill can back off and stay out of the spotlight. None of the more prominent fundie families will want to be linked to her, but one of their sons could push for it to secure Tessie. However, the odds of that are slim to none because Jill won't "dim her light" for anyone. Tessie will likely end up being sacrificed to someone who will give in to Jill, just like Jonathan and Nathan.