Tasya

It's actually really good (IMO). There's a lot about how she questioned her relationship with God.

That's really cute Because of all the cousins, Felicity mentioned Gideon when she found out that Jinger was having a boy. She said Gideon would be so excited.

I think it's the love part that she's attributing the sissiness to. Because it's God, it's ok for them to show LOVE but if they loved something or someone else, that could potentially be seen as a sissy trait. I don't know; Jill is weird.

I think it would be wildly speculative to assume that she settled and doesn't love him. Jana is arguably the best-looking of the "older" girls. I think even with all of the family pressure and drama, if she just wanted to be married and settle, it could have been with anyone. I am sure there were many older widowers with probably a few kids who came around. Some pervy older bachelors—the list goes on. I think that Jana was living a fulfilled life. It may not have been exciting for us to see in the occasional video or picture, but she seemed content. So for her to give that up and somewhat lose her independence (I say somewhat, because Stephen seems really easy-going), it had to be very worth it for her.

The wedding party "entrance" is a thing now. My cousin is getting married in April, and her wedding party is already practicing with full-fledged in-studio, instructor-led sessions; it's so over the top and ridiculous.

She looks like she's been enjoying some conjugal visits.

Some takeaways: Jana and Abbie/John's relationship is probably the most "normal sibling" relationship this bunch has. It's very clear that they spend a lot of time together because they want to, not because they have to. In the picture with all the little girls, Gracie is on Jana's lap, and anytime there is any sort of family function, Jana is the aunt she's always by. Stephen is really attractive; waiting was worth it. The two of them *definitely* shenaned and shenaniganed prior to marriage. There's zero doubt in my mind 😆

Felicity's hair has gotten so dark; she definitely stands out amongst her cousins. It's very pretty. On a whole, not even seeing their faces, J&J's girls just look so much more put together than their cousins, lol (other than John's two cutie pies)

I guess it's an interpretive thing. Personally, as an "older" mom, I know people who outright say that they are too selfish to have kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. If you choose (key word) not to have kids because you don't want them to interfere with your life and you do want to be able to go whenever you want to, it is selfishness. I think the issue comes with saying that people are wrong for that when they are not. I did not become a mother until I was 35 years old, and I tell people all the time it was because I was selfish. I did not want to devote my life to a child until I was ready to do so. Once you are a parent, it becomes all about your kids, and it's hard to find and keep your own identity in that. Right now my son is in three sports and goes to a private school a 1/2 hour away, which turns into a 1.5-hour commute during rush hour. Most days I can't even think about taking time for myself. So we should normalize selfish decisions when it comes to deciding to be parents. If you choose to do it, you need to want it; unfortunately, I think there are too many mothers out there who should have chosen to remain selfish and not have kids. In Jinger's world, selfish decisions are demonized. They are supposed to make every decision with JOY in mind, so in my opinion, when she holds up a mirror and sees her family of just 2(3) kids, deep down, she feels it's selfish based on how she was raised, and she's not sure how to reconcile that.

I was puzzled by the first spate of responses because I also heard her saying that she felt as if she was or would be judged as selfish for not having the expected 15 kids. Now they did veer into pro-life talking points, but that's to be expected and I won't debate that here because everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But on the kids versus no kids front, she mentioned that she was raised to think that people who didn't have a bunch of kids must be selfish or hate kids and how that was a struggle for her to reconcile (paraphrasing here).

I have rarely seen Jana pictured at Jessa's house; by contrast, we have frequently seen her in California with Jinger. I think of her siblings, Jana is particularly close to JD and the rest of them are at about the same level. I don't get the idea that Jill is some ideal of a Duggar sister. Jill was an insufferable smug snitch who fully bought into the family ideal when she was growing up. Just because she seems to have embraced a somewhat crunchy image, I don't think she's changed that much. Personally, I don't read Jana as cold, but rather as introverted. Which in her family has to be difficult to deal with. If I was forced by some god-awful circumstance to spend time with a Duggar daughter, I would pick Jana and/or Jinger. Jana because I could probably read a book quietly while she did some project and be just fine. Jinger because we could go to Starbucks and be perfectly content not talking much at all. I think Jill is annoying and Jessa, well I'll just say no thanks there.

I completely agree, plus her responses to various questions about that section of the book were very "implied abuse"-like. She knew or Derrick knew exactly what kind of speculation that section would lead to.

I enjoyed the video. I think a definite fundy lesson is to, contrary to what they say, wait to get married. JD and Abbie and Jana and Steven (seemingly) are proof of that.

I guess mileage will vary, but IMO, Jill could have written that entire passage without adding anything about Jana being "one of Gothard's girls." In the context of what we know about him and what he was doing, it's very insinuating. She could have simply highlighted the family's interactions with Gothard and his cult and never sneakily added in there that one of the sisters spent extra special time with him. She (or Derrick) knew that adding that would give that section/mention more oomph.

In her book, Jill all but said that Jana was abused by Gothard. Whether or not it was true, it wasn't Jill's story to tell, especially considering her abuse. In writing and promoting her book, not a single line should have been written about any sister who hadn't given their approval and/or publicly shared the information on their own. Add that to Jill having been the acknowledged snitch when they were growing up, and it's not too far-fetched to think that Jana just doesn't care for her that much. I only have 4 sisters, and if I got married, 2 of them would be lucky to even get an invite; they definitely would not be a part of the wedding party. So blaming JB for Jill not being a member of the wedding party is giving him too much power. I think going by everything else associated with this wedding, JB and Michelle likely had no influence. Jana looks to have picked her own wedding party and that's fully her right. I actually disagree that Jill was classy in her answer. That's a question that should have gone unanswered. Her answer is passive/aggressive.