Snaporaz

Katie must have been wearing a Zende costume the day Brooke revealed her real motive for taking the CEO position, because Zende has no recollection of that conversation, while Katie knows every detail of it. I swear I feel like I'm watching the evening news when I watch this show. Some asshole tells blatantly obvious lies, and nobody challenges them. It's making me crazy!

What was even the point if this? We already knew that Sharon wants Nick, and Adam wants Chelsea, and it was becoming increasingly clear that Phyllis was back into Billy. If they had given us a surprise and made Nick, Chelsea, and Billy be the ones dreaming (or at least one of them), then that would have been worth sitting through this. How did Dreaming Phyllis know that Billy and Sally were staying in Dina's apartment, and how did she know every detail of what the apartment looked like?

Who could Billy's Chancellor mole be? The only employees are Claire and Esther. Is this part of Claire's long game, or does Delia's grandmother have a secret grudge against the Newman trash?

Can I be incarcerated in Bill's house, please? It looks like a dream! Did I really see Schnozzle Rose shove her armpit in Carter's face yesterday? (Sorry, I'm a day behind.). Which combination of deer urine and rubbing alcohol should FC launch first? Decisions, decisions... I thought it was hilarious that Finn keeps several paternity tests in his drawer. He clearly knows who he's married to and needs to keep them on hand whenever she gets knocked up.

There's also an Abbott heart beating in his miserable chest. Maybe he should return it?

When Steffy leaned over to look at the designs, I thought Hope might get a contact buzz from the remnants of La Shnoz's perfume and realize that Steffy and Shnoz must have been together before they got to FC, this exposing their alliance. No such luck, though. This version of Bill is reminding me of when he was with Sheila and we couldn't figure out why. This just isn't Bill. Bill doesn't make excuses for bad behavior. Bill would say, "suck it up, Buttercup, and get over it."

Yes, Hope, when Daphne enters a room, all eyes go directly to her. And then those eyes roll. Steffy is more excited about breaking up yet another of Hope's relationships. Since she can't do it herself, she's using a third party. What I don't understand is how breaking up Hope and Carter automatically means Carter will give up and hand the company back to Steffy. He and Hope don't function as a single unit.

Luna used to talk to RJ about her relationship with Poppy like they were the freaking Gilmore Girls. She even credited her mother's bohemian lifestyle for her own interest in fashion because Poppy always filled their home with art and music. There was never a hint of an unhappy childhood, so I wonder if Luna is rewriting her own history to play on Bill's emotions. It shouldn't be working, though, because Bill is not easily played. Where is RJ, anyway? It might be interesting to see where he lands in the FC battle.

It was pretty disappointing that Sharon rescued herself, yet they still found a way to make Nick the hero.

It's been a long time since a character has bugged me as much as Daphne. She sounds like she just woke up, and the notion that she would drop everything on a moment's notice, put her entire life on hold and fly 6,000 miles just to help her good pal Steffy is ridiculous even by soap standards. Even the Bill-Luna story sounds more plausible to me. If Steffy and Shnoz are that close, wouldn't somebody, anybody, have heard some hint about this friendship? Even Ridge didn't know.

I swear seeing on the bag that they were unsalted. It struck me because I made the mistake of getting an unsalted soft pretzel once, and for me anyway, I realized salt is the whole point of a pretzel. It also made me remember the bag of gluten-free pretzels I was offered after a blood donation. I couldn't even finish one of those, and I can't resist a salty snack!

Why does everyone say that Billy has no plan? Billy has a plan. He's using The Secret. He will think he owns Abbott Chancellor until he manifests it. *Hello* The pretzels Jordan left her were unsalted. Who does that?!? She really is the cruelest of sadistic sociopaths.

I've had an incredibly stressful week, so La Shnoz Magnifique getting a big whiff of Ridge was just the comedy gold I needed. Will sleepwalking Daphne be able to cure Ridge's Broken Fart Syndrome at the same time she's voluntarily pimping herself out for her old pal Steffy? Tune in tomorrow! Brooke is disappointing me eight ways to Sunday. If she really really really wants Ridge back, she just needs to become involved with some other man, and he'll break land speed records running back to her. Too bad Bill is so preoccupied right now, but any man will do. I guess Poppy gave Finn some mints to relax him during Finals Week, so he has no memory of ever sleeping with her. It all makes sense if you don't think about it!

The lab tech did say Tom's organs were not suitable for transplant and were going to be used for research. Why didn't Zende mention anything about Brooke's plan to the Tridge Mafia? At least they would all know that it was her intention all along to help them, since she told Zende immediately after the press conference.

I thought EB was awesome on CNN. His comments about the disinformation and who is doing it and why they're doing it need to be said every damn day. Steven Ford did look so different. I thought it was one of President Ford's other sons until his name came up on the screen.