Snaporaz

I wish Donna was there to witness Eric sitting there like a baccalà while Steffy trash-talked her entire family. Speaking of trash, what was Steffy wearing? Those shorts (or was it a skirt?) looked like they were made from a Hefty bag, and the sweater looked like she'd skinned Lambchop.

Adam's haircuts go from bad to worse. That doozy of a half pipe on his head today made me wish I was still a teenage skate punk. We probably should have had one of those B&W flashbacks explaining Chelsea's terrible birthday cake, because I'd totally forgotten it. It would have been more romantic if the cake was just as terrible this time, but Adam ate it anyway.

Echoing all the above. It was really hard to take. And that annoying twit Daphne talking about morals when she was ready to prostitute herself to enact Steffy's plan. Unbelievable. There's a small chance here for Liam and Bill to redeem themselves. Bill was willing to start a fashion house for Wyatt and Sally. Liam needs to convince him to start one for HFTF. Maybe crazy Luna can be the designer, and it leaves FC in the dust.

I should be used to her by now, but every time new Taylor walks into a room, I realize that I had totally forgotten she exists, and then the Price is Right loser music plays in my head. Daffy Daphne is even more annoying than Flo. At least Hope got to slap the crap out of Flo.

Katie must have been wearing a Zende costume the day Brooke revealed her real motive for taking the CEO position, because Zende has no recollection of that conversation, while Katie knows every detail of it. I swear I feel like I'm watching the evening news when I watch this show. Some asshole tells blatantly obvious lies, and nobody challenges them. It's making me crazy!

What was even the point if this? We already knew that Sharon wants Nick, and Adam wants Chelsea, and it was becoming increasingly clear that Phyllis was back into Billy. If they had given us a surprise and made Nick, Chelsea, and Billy be the ones dreaming (or at least one of them), then that would have been worth sitting through this. How did Dreaming Phyllis know that Billy and Sally were staying in Dina's apartment, and how did she know every detail of what the apartment looked like?

Who could Billy's Chancellor mole be? The only employees are Claire and Esther. Is this part of Claire's long game, or does Delia's grandmother have a secret grudge against the Newman trash?

Can I be incarcerated in Bill's house, please? It looks like a dream! Did I really see Schnozzle Rose shove her armpit in Carter's face yesterday? (Sorry, I'm a day behind.). Which combination of deer urine and rubbing alcohol should FC launch first? Decisions, decisions... I thought it was hilarious that Finn keeps several paternity tests in his drawer. He clearly knows who he's married to and needs to keep them on hand whenever she gets knocked up.

There's also an Abbott heart beating in his miserable chest. Maybe he should return it?

When Steffy leaned over to look at the designs, I thought Hope might get a contact buzz from the remnants of La Shnoz's perfume and realize that Steffy and Shnoz must have been together before they got to FC, this exposing their alliance. No such luck, though. This version of Bill is reminding me of when he was with Sheila and we couldn't figure out why. This just isn't Bill. Bill doesn't make excuses for bad behavior. Bill would say, "suck it up, Buttercup, and get over it."

Yes, Hope, when Daphne enters a room, all eyes go directly to her. And then those eyes roll. Steffy is more excited about breaking up yet another of Hope's relationships. Since she can't do it herself, she's using a third party. What I don't understand is how breaking up Hope and Carter automatically means Carter will give up and hand the company back to Steffy. He and Hope don't function as a single unit.

Luna used to talk to RJ about her relationship with Poppy like they were the freaking Gilmore Girls. She even credited her mother's bohemian lifestyle for her own interest in fashion because Poppy always filled their home with art and music. There was never a hint of an unhappy childhood, so I wonder if Luna is rewriting her own history to play on Bill's emotions. It shouldn't be working, though, because Bill is not easily played. Where is RJ, anyway? It might be interesting to see where he lands in the FC battle.

It was pretty disappointing that Sharon rescued herself, yet they still found a way to make Nick the hero.

It's been a long time since a character has bugged me as much as Daphne. She sounds like she just woke up, and the notion that she would drop everything on a moment's notice, put her entire life on hold and fly 6,000 miles just to help her good pal Steffy is ridiculous even by soap standards. Even the Bill-Luna story sounds more plausible to me. If Steffy and Shnoz are that close, wouldn't somebody, anybody, have heard some hint about this friendship? Even Ridge didn't know.

I swear seeing on the bag that they were unsalted. It struck me because I made the mistake of getting an unsalted soft pretzel once, and for me anyway, I realized salt is the whole point of a pretzel. It also made me remember the bag of gluten-free pretzels I was offered after a blood donation. I couldn't even finish one of those, and I can't resist a salty snack!