ticklemepink

I cannot believe that we are unable to escape Ariana's vagina. Yeah, she is SOOOOO embarrassed about it that she has to show it to us next week. Please GTFOOHWTBS.

Ugh, the sooner that both Kyle and LVP accept that they are frenemies, the sooner that we can all MOVE ON. Actually, I think LVP has always known that they are frenemies since Kyles “Bobby Fisher” reunion dig, but Kyle just has a hard time getting here. Kyle has a soft gooey center and can forgive and forget, but Lisa is an ice queen and is incapable of doing either.

Stephen sucks. That was not his secret to share. Shame on him.

Scheana gives me so much hate-energy. She is like a Red Bull shot.

Let's all be clear - Ariana has absolutely NO storyline outside of this absurd one. She is also highly psychosomatic - she hides behind a cool girl IDGAF persona, but I still remember her "tummy-aches" during Scheana's bachelorette party because she was scared of Kristin. I'm willing to put money down that her vagina monologues are based on her feeling distant from Tom and probably also jealous of him getting Tom-Tom.

About 30 seconds into Ariana meeting with her “therapist” I got up off my couch, went to my freezer, pulled out my Trader Joe’s Mandarin orange chicken, and put it in the oven, and came back to my couch once the scene was over. Get rid of her. She’s boring.

GO AWAY SCHEANA.

The pajamas “trend” is the height of basicness.

I love this show so much. These people are so perfectly messy (with exception of Jax who is truly a despicable person and Scheana who is pathologically pathetic)

I hate myself for watching this show.

Tom Schwartz is a battered wife....and his husband is Jax. Seeing James run out of the apartment made me laugh for a minute straight.

I remember when I first asked someone to tell me what “gaslighting” meant. Little did they know that all they needed to do was show me the scene between Brittany and Jax in the kitchen. Schwartz is such a beta. How embarrassing.

Not buying Ariana’s “story” about not having sex with Sandoval. I think she’s clearly crafted a “rational” explanation to use on national tv me a clearly set up scene with Lala but at the end of the day I think she is no longer sexually attracted to Sandoval. There is no doubt, anyone can feel insecure, even someone as stunningly gorgeous as her. However, it’s pretty clear that Ariana has gotten her glow-up over the past few seasons. The idea that she has become more sexually insecure now that she arguably looks the best she has ever looked (and has made a clear effort to do so) just doesn’t follow, especially since Tom still is so into her. Either she no longer isn’t interested in sex with him or sex in general (i.e. depression)? I also think she really resents that “Tom Tom” is going to happen.

I’m a little surprised (actually, I’m not) at reviews of this episode from major publications completely bypassing the impact of race on the last act. The holograms of Clayton and the supremacist audience toward the end of the story were an incredibly grim and powerful depiction of a modern day lynching (with souvenirs...) that kept happening and happening again. How is this not being mentioned?!?!

Jax's convo with James about the "Madonna complex" really encapsulates why/how he cheats. He has gone so far down the sexual rabbit hole that he is going to cheat if the sex in his current relationship is not satisfying his "needs". I never thought I would ever say this, but I feel so bad for Katie. Tom Schwartz is a weak weak manboy. Can you imagine being so messed up in the head that you think that he is the person you would want to father your future children? YIKES. Tom Sandoval is also a complete mess with that whole "Jax tries to make him cheat" nonsense. Wow, what a stunning display of mediocrity with the both of them.

Absolutely loved the ending of this. Did not see that twist coming.

Meth Damon!

This episode was so effed up.

Craig sucks. Lara rules. Listen to the sexy unique podcast - it is hilarious now that there no longer is any ass-kissing.

Tom talking with Ariana's brother (HER BROTHER) about not having sex with her is making me completely lose my mind. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!?!

Again, Schwartz POURED A DRINK OVER HIS GIRLFRIEND's (now wife's) HEAD on national TV. AND cheated on her. AND refused to have her back when she fought with Jax. AND goes on trips/parties that she is not invited to. I am certain that he would have a mental breakdown if you asked him to choose who to save from a burning building: Katie or Jax or Sandoval. He would be conflicted!!! I feel so much pity for Katie for thinking that this is man who would be the best life partner for her, and the future father of her children. It's completely bone-chilling.

Patrick is NASTY. I wanted to douse him in toner. Jesus Stassi, do better? Jax must be good in bed because I just don’t get it otherwise.

I still can't fully forgive Scheana for her reckless and selfish approach to Shay's attempts at sobriety. It was one of the most irresponsible and self-centered things I have ever seen on television, and I watch a LOT of BravoTV.

LeeAnne is crazy. However, Brandi is legitimately a TERRIBLE person. Everything she did this year was due to jealousy of Stephanie and Cary's relationship, full stop. What she said about Cary and Mark's relationship was the most damaging thing to come out of this show because it is a rumor that is easily believable. The way she cut off Stephanie just to punish her was so cold.LeeAnne thought she was manipulating Brandi's relationship with Stephanie, but really it was the reverse - Brandi was using LeeAnne to get back at Stephanie. If I were Stephanie or Cary, I would never talk to Brandi again - she is an incredibly bitter, petty, and dangerous person.

I hate Peggy so much. She is just odious.