[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

My parents got their second Pfizer shot yesterday, and they're doing pretty well! They're tired and feel under the weather, but it's basically like after the first shot for them. Such a relief to have them vaccinated!!!!

Virginia is opening up eligibility to everyone on April 18th, and the governor says everyone should be able to get an appointment starting on April 19th... who knows if that's really how things will go, but so far the Virginia governor has been pretty dependable in his proclamations, so I'm hoping! Can't wait until we're all vaccinated and we can socialize more normally again!

Happy Easter to all who celebrate. I don't really, but I did make sure to eat a ton of Easter candy 🙄 I guess now that we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm in a rush to pack on the pandemic pounds 🙄😂

My boyfriend and I went house hunting yesterday, and it was a long and exhausting day... but there is a house that's "coming soon" that looks really cool. It's close to a downtown area, it's old and pretty and the style I like, it seems pretty solid (at least from the outside, and based on the disclosures), it makes for an easy commute for both my boyfriend and for me. It has a few drawbacks -- close enough to the highway that you can hear the traffic, that particular block has no sidewalk, and the lot is slightly smaller than I was hoping for (although in the right range).

But what's really worrying me? It's being sold as-is, because it's being sold as part of an estate sale. Also, we can't go inside it until it's an active listing, but by the time it's active, it'll probably be under contract in this market. So the two problems are 1. it's a fixer upper, clearly. It actually doesn't look rough, but the owner was there for fifty years and it's been in probate for a few years now, too, so I'm sure there's deferred maintenance and modernization issues. The seller's agent in the disclosures does say that repairs are needed. 2. I'd have to make an offer sight-unseen. Oh, actually, there's a third problem, too: 3. the seller's agent wants only cash or home purchase renovation loan offers, so I have to get a preapproval on a home purchase renovation loan before I can put in an offer anyway.

My mom says I'm crazy to even consider putting an offer on a house without going inside, and a friend who I asked advice from thinks I'm crazy to even be considering a renovation project when I'm about to start law school and maybe a new job and am going to be living with my boyfriend for the first time. They're probably both right! But with the market the way it is... I'm wondering if a fixer upper sold by an estate that just wants it off their hands ASAP is probably the best deal that I can get! So I think I'll get preapproval for the purchase renovation loan and go from there...

The truth is that it'll almost certainly go to an all-cash buyer instead of to me anyway, so all this worrying is probably moot. But still, now it's taken hold on my imagination.

Have any of you ever bought a fixer upper? Is all this just too crazy?

ETA: My mom was like, go watch the movie, "The Money Pit" and get back to me... 😂

[Jed! and Katey: Biblically Bunking Together]

Also, Jed! and Katey both look incredibly nervous to me. I hope that things go OK tonight.

The more I've learned of arranged marriage the scarier it seems to me. Any kind of love or bond between the couple seems like such an afterthought. It's not the point, so if it happens... great. But if it doesn't... *shrug* The marriage is still considered a success anyhow. Your husband beats you, humiliates you, ignores you, rapes you, forces you to bare endless children you can't care for? Too bad, but marriage and the "career" of being a wife is your lot in life so... *shrug* C'est la vie.

Actually, right on my apartment hall there is a family with an endless stair-step stream of children, and when I FINALLY saw the mother for the first time the other day... she just looked so exhausted, and so young. My heart broke. I don't thing a big family is necessarily a sad thing at all! But the look on her face... it just looked like " the laundry room breakdown" could be on its way. In retrospect, it makes me think of Kendra, who lately seems to realize her life is spinning out of control but that the kids are going to keep coming and so she won't be able to stop it. In so many cultures -- including the Duggars' -- that mentality is just so normalized.

[Jed! and Katey: Biblically Bunking Together]

These "adults" are fed a line that this is what marriage IS. I would bet anything that they don't truly understand how their marriage is different from a love match, because what a love match even is has been obscured more and more from them...

I mean, even in a supposed love match in this family, the man goes to the father and asks to court/marry. He needs to "woo" the father with a zillion page questionnaire, etc. This is just a bit further down that same track, with the fathers brokering the match among each other, instead of at least the son/potential son-in-law taking up for himself. But the bride always had her father acting as proxy.

The whole thing is just so bizarre... imagine your father having more of a say in if or to whom you get married than you do! Thank god my father and boyfriend would both be horrified, I wouldn't want to be saddled with a man or a parent so controlling that they would want to do this.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

@GeeGolly I hope your son's surgery goes well! I'm sure it does him good to know you're there for him, even if he's private and you can't physically be close.

The housing market is completely insane, but it's honestly a blessing in disguise that I haven't been able to snag the houses that I've seen so far. They've had a lot of good points, but they're not actually in the best location for me, and at least the crazy market has kept me from being too impulsive. I've been talking to people from the area recently and now I think I can also focus my search more on a specific area and a specific kind of house, which I really didn't have the local knowledge to do before. I've also been actively looking for less than a week -- it's OK if I'm forced to slow my roll a bit 😂 Luckily, there are gorgeous houses in pretty and convenient neighborhoods in my price range, and I'll just have to keep an eye out and act quickly when those houses show up on the market. It's actually surprising to me that I've got as much choice as I do, because my price range isn't that high -- but after seeing some of what's out there, I've decided to be more hopeful and have higher standards 😂 I've got time, too, because I'm OK closing anytime before late June or so, and nowadays closing is only 21 days anyway 😳 This house-hunting business is stressful but it's also kind of fun, and I'm hopeful that by the end, I'll have an awesome house to live in!

[Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events]

6 hours ago, floridamom said:

In this recent episode, Anna looked as big as a house. There's no hiding it.

To be honest, it looked more like a large weight gain than pregnancy to me. It was just sort of all over, including a new double chin. And I can't blame her, I can see why she'd 1. stress-eat 2. feel a compulsion to look as "unattractive" as possible so that Josh will leave her the hell alone. But I am also terrible at spotting pregnancies, so it probably is one and I'm just a doofus.

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

3 hours ago, JoanArc said:

 I was thinking it was one of those lifetime movies where woman runs away from her abusive husband, makes the best friend in a new city, and then the best friend takes off her wig and it turns out to be the husband. And then they fight and she kills him.

To be fair, that sounds like an amazing movie.

2 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

I also remember that when they were asking people to predict (before it opened) what their store would do, some people guessed that it'd have a charitable function of some kind! I remember we discussed that as touching innocence about what the Vuolo Jesus is interested in . 

That was so delicious!

I don't think it even was purposeful trolling, I think leghumpers were suggesting that in earnest... yet it was still *chef's kiss* trolling anyhow 😂

15 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

They are being so willfully unhelpful and lazy with their failed "store" and their soon-to-be defunct podcast.  With the store's site being redirected to another site - the site of the podcast - where Jeremy asks his listeners to tell him what to talk about and who to interview - it seems designed to get their customers to just say, "forget about it, I'm out $18.95, lesson learned."  And with a "sorry your items got broken" IG story that's designed to only be seen for 24 hours and then it's gone, the onus is on the customer.  Excellent business savvy, Jeremy.  What a colossal jerk.

Yup, exactly, they want it to be such a pain to get a refund that nobody can actually do it. Which is incredibly sleazy, and also bad business.

There is no way their other ventures are going to last long if this is their idea of customer service. They're clearly not even thinking long-term in terms of their own viability as a brand, just trying to grift as much as they can now and then run away later.

Which I think is a terrible plan, but then a lot of what the Vuolos do seems like a terrible plan to me.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

I went to see a house tonight after work, and loved it... got home and pulled up the listing to see the photos again and now it says “under contact”! This house hunting stuff is impossible, every house goes under contract literally within a day! I never even have the chance to see them! 🤦🏻‍♀️ Have you all had to deal with this before? On the one hand, I don’t need to buy one literally this minute, but on the other, this pace is completely nuts.

[Jed! and Katey: Biblically Bunking Together]

But meeting a cute stranger is one thing, meeting your "betrothed" is another. I think most people would be sick to their stomach with nerves and not really "in the mood" in a blind marriage kind of situation like this -- or at least I would be.

Plus, they made a big point in their vows about how they're going to be ultra, ultra chaste, so it's not really clear what's "ok" in terms of touching or showing attraction and what's not, and that puts more pressure on, too. Like if he were very attracted to her, what would that even look like in this incredibly uncomfortable and fraught situation?

I think Jed is batting WAYYYYYYY above his league with Katey in terms of looks, but she's some random stranger who will now be the most important person in his life and who he'll be intimate with in many ways that he's never been intimate with anyone. So I'm not surprised he seems a little uncomfortable and cold, I actually think that's normal, and would find it way weirder if he seemed just SUPER RARING TO GO at the proposal 😂

 

[Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)]

This girl has stuffed animals on her bed? Is that something other people do? I find that so depressing somehow.

She looks good, but those eyebrows are tragic.

[Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!]

Totally normal to call your pet Sweet Girl, Baby Girl, Miss Baby, all that stuff. Or at least I hope it is 🤐😂

I also think it’s normal to say the dog graduated obedience school... even though Jill or Derick were in class with her, it would be bizarre to say “Jill graduated obedience school”! Although now I sort of want to say that in reference to the kidults graduating Duggar Academy.

Anyway, I’m so glad that Fenna looks so happy and the Dillards look so happy to have added her to their family. They seem to be taking good care of her, which is such a delightful relief! Guess dogs really are the new babies 😂 

[S11.E00: A New Life]

It’s already bad when the highest compliment you can give your kid is “so-and-so was compliant.” 

Jessa was probably a bratty 12 year old, but who wasn’t? And who says sisters have to all like each other. News flash, it’s ok if siblings don’t also want to be BFFs. And where “god” comes into it, I don’t know.

I don’t mind the religiosity being front and center on the show, because these are religious nuts and that at least makes the show a tiny bit more documentary-like. But the religiosity they showed was super bland and awkward and I actually don’t think represents their religiosity anyhow.

It was also very stale, especially the “testimonies” that Michelle straight up said they had all heard a million times before and that were fundamentally nonsensical. Michelle said something again about how much baggage she had and how finding Jesus truly brought her “from the darkness into the light” or something, and it’s just such clear BS! All of what they were saying was pure BS. Jessa praying for the patience of her mother 🙄 Even Michelle laughed awkwardly and uncomfortably at that, it was so fake and weird. The only believable one was Kendra, who was basically like, “yeah, I was brought up in this religion” 🤷🏻‍♀️ Although even she had to tack on some vague “doubts” that she even more vaguely felt evaporate for some unknown reason and still at a very young age. 

Kendra really did seem completely exhausted and like she didn’t know how she was going to keep keeping up with the baby train. But Kendra is queen of keeping sweet, so I’m sure she’ll give it her all. That girl is like watching a lamb be led to slaughter, it’s so depressing.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I understand this completely. Anyone that isnt you can get on your nerves!

Dude sometimes I even annoy myself. Sometimes it feels like, can't I ever get a break from this woman? Not this same old shit again! But nope... 🙄😂

[S11.E00: A New Life]

I can't believe practically the whole episode is explicit religious testimony. WTF?!

They also all look TERRIBLE. They look exhausted and like they all smell like BO. I have seen like two episodes of Counting On before so maybe it's always like this, but damn.

[S11.E00: A New Life]

Btw I'm able to watch this on the TLC app. I have xfinity cable but no Discovery+.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

Yeah, I love hanging out with my friends and family and everyone one-on-one, but anything happening in a big group is exhausting. I love people and am happy to chat with strangers and all that, but even walking outside of my own apartment has gotten exhausting, because it's a whole neighborhood of enormous high-rises and so there are always a million people saying hello or needing something or trying to make conversation or in the way of you doing whatever it is you need to do. And that's WITH pandemic isolation!

Luckily, I'm moving out of the DC area to the Baltimore area -- which in many ways is the same area, but in terms of housing is REALLY really not. The DC market is insane, but there are detached houses with big yards priced at under a half a mil in the Baltimore suburbs, and I CANNOT WAIT to move into one and finally be able to chill outside with a few buddies around a fire pit or just sit by myself out on the porch or do some gardening out in the yard with my headphones in. That is so much more my speed. 

13 minutes ago, thehorseofpower said:

It does make me wonder how often a qualified introvert is passed over for promotions or other opportunities in the workplace in general, given the snap judgements that seem to be made about people who prefer small groups or one on one interaction....

Maybe it depends on whether the people doing the promoting are more introverted themselves! Small networks of very close friends who like to hang out one-on-one seem like they could be very effective, maybe more than big, loose networks of acquaintances even. Here's hoping, anyway.

I was a bartender/waitress for a long time (a decade, on and off), and it taught me a ton about social skills and was a huge help in terms of getting me to stretch my comfort zone, which is why I'm so comfortable talking with anybody now. But I'm an introvert at heart, and have specifically tried to choose jobs since then that let me do more thinking and analyzing (all at my own desk) and a whole lot less running around in a big scrum and chatting nonstop. I feel like, stretching your comfort zone is great, but you've also got to accept who you are and tailor your life to fit that.

@emmawoodhouse I'll hear whether I passed yesterday's exam in just over a week -- probably next Thursday or Friday. Fingers crossed! I'm completely distracted today... this is why I always try to take my exams at the very end of the testing window, but even though I make my wait as short as possible, it is SO nerve-wracking!

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

Thank you for your well wishes, everyone!!! It really means a lot. With these exams you can never really tell, but I felt better on the problems than on the multiple choice, and I’m basically certain that I got the research question correct, and that’s similar to how I felt about the exams that I passed... in general, this felt a lot more like the exams I’ve passed than the exams I’ve failed, so... 🤞🤞😬 Cautiously optimistic! And the best part is, I don’t have to study tonight!!!! 😁

Phew... thank you for being there for me. It actually has helped way more than even makes sense 😂 

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

I don't think this is that crazy. The delivery guy probably grabbed the sandwiches along with the pizza when he went to deliver Jeremy's order, not realizing the sandwiches were for a different order altogether, and when he tried handing the whole thing off to Jeremy, Jeremy realized the sandwiches weren't his and called the store to ask what to do, and the store said he should just keep them. The store doesn't want some customer getting old sandwiches that have been driven god knows where before arriving, so of course they didn't tell the delivery guy to take the sandwiches back and take them to another destination. They probably made fresh sandwiches ASAP and sent them on their way. I don't think any of it is unusual, just some good luck for Jeremy. It's kinda sweet that he was so excited about some sandwiches that he took a bunch of pictures and posted about it.

This and the story about Jeremy asking his professor about what to do when he realized his pen's inscription was the answer to an extra credit exam question are probably the most endearing stories that I've ever heard about or from Jeremy in my life 😆

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

This afternoon, I take what will hopefully be my last CPA exam 🤞🤞 This one is a retake — I tried to take this section first, back in the fall, but I failed it by a hair 🤦🏻‍♀️ I passed all the others on the first try and now I feel like an old hand at high stakes tests... so I’m trying to get pumped up and treat today like a game day. I went to bed early last night, had a big breakfast this morning... and in a couple hours I head over to the testing center 😳💪

If you have a chance today, would you please send me thoughts/prayers/vibes? It really does make a difference! Just knowing other people are rooting for me to do well makes a difference

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

3 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

Kendra ran this exact same ad to her social media followers. Who are probably the same people as Jinger’s followers. They’re terrible at this stuff.

I don’t think I would be any better — marketing isn’t my thing, and social media isn’t my thing — but that’s why I have worked actual jobs instead of trying to have a “career” as an influencer! Luckily, there are many other options in this world, although unluckily, it seems like they’re aware of none of them.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

12 hours ago, Zella said:

My breaking point was when he tried to argue with me that literacy was oppressive.

Hahahaha WAT?! In his mind, knowledge was... disempowering? 

You gotta wonder who he thought should have an education and who should be sitting there without access to it “for their own good.” I have a feeling that he didn’t see himself in the “left in ignorance so as to be better manipulated and controlled... because that’s what’s best for them” group. What a douche. 

Did he read Brave New World by any chance? Kinda reminds me of the “I’m glad I’m a beta...” stuff from that book.

@Zella, anybody can tell from what you write on this board that you’re wicked smart... You’re clearly wayyyyyyy out of this doofus’s league, and he was lucky to have you for as long as he did — but you’re even luckier for finally not having to deal with him anymore. Jeez Louise.

[The Lonely Js Club: Jana, Jason, James, Jackson & Johannah]

I don't have any problem with Jana contributing to the household or being expected to contribute. She's an adult, that's her home and her family, she should pull her weight. From what we've seen, it doesn't seem very burdensome. Tagging along with her brother on a bike ride, taking a CPR class, babysitting for half an hour in the afternoon. I don't think it would be better for her to be swanning around as lady of the manor while paid servants took care of the few responsibilities she does have. She's already infantalized and "sheltered" enough.

Her autonomy and lack thereof is a separate issue, I think. And even there... just because she's had a weird childhood and makes weird choices doesn't make those choices invalid.

[Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)]

2 hours ago, Monkeyrocks said:

I also wonder if the parents are currently incapable of taking care of them without support. 

I don't think they are capable, but the Rodriguezes have also refused and even fled from all support... other than handouts from "sweet friends." You can lead Jill to water, but you can't make her drink.

[The Lonely Js Club: Jana, Jason, James, Jackson & Johannah]

I think Jana is JB's lieutenant, and as such, she's probably got a fair amount of both power and responsibility within the household.

I don't think she's especially put-upon at this point of her life, though. She doesn't have a job, has never been in school, and isn't seriously pursuing a demanding vocation, like art or music or sports. So she's accountable to nobody outside the family, can make her own schedule, has no deadlines or complex demands on her... I dunno, as far as adult responsibilities go, I don't think Jana really has a lot. Not compared to the average 30-something for sure. Tagging along on her little brother's bike rides or being one of the supervising adults in the house when the grandkids are over is kind of annoying, but I don't really think that sort of thing is a big imposition, especially since it's not like she's got anything else going on.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

Glad you got through it, @SunnyBeBe!

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

I decided to buy a house, so this week I talked it over with my boyfriend, got pre-approved for a mortgage, and now I am meeting with three different buyer's agents and am scheduled to go to a house tour on Sunday. This is crazy. At this rate, am I going to be a homeowner next week? Is this how fast these things go?!

Not even going to go into the weird story of what happened early this morning when I tried to give a seller's agent a call back. Basically, the weird part was that this woman was on the phone with me when she started cussing someone out like I've never heard anyone be cussed out. She was MAD. I don't know if she thought the call had dropped and I wasn't on the line anymore or what. Hilarious, but kinda unnerving, if you want to know the truth!

Also this morning, I was on my way to work and my car started driving really rough -- noisy, and with lots of sputtering and shaking. I got to the light right before the highway entrance and the Check Oil light came on. Since I was stuck at a red light anyhow, I googled what that meant, and the results all basically said, "pull over immediately!" So I did, and called my mechanic. He said to go back a block to the nearest autoshop, not to even try to make it the five blocks or so to his. Well, I did... the mechanic there checked my oil, and there was literally none in the tank. So he added a couple quarts. It was still looking like no oil was in the tank. So he added another couple. Still showing as nothing. He asked me to back the car up a few feet, and there was oil all over the ground. So he made me leave the car there, drove me home, and I had to ask my dad to come by so I could borrow my parents' car to get to work. Luckily the autoshop fixed the leak and it looks like nothing else is wrong. It's not cheap, but I'd rather pay a $500 repair and oil bill than deal with a totaled car! Thankfully, I was close to home and wasn't on the highway yet. If the light had come on while I was on the highway, I probably would have just kept going and figured I'd deal with it once I was at work! I would have killed my car right there and then!