[Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)]

2 hours ago, charmed1 said:

What is her obsession with the Amish? It’s so weird. It’s like she’s showing off for her fundy friends. If I’m not mistaken, Amish folk do not want their pictures taken, so I guess screw their modesty rules, huh Jill?

OMFG if my neighbors were posting stalker pics of me whenever I happened to be out in the yard or running errands or whatever, like I'm a zoo animal on display...

Can you imagine if your neighbor were doing this to you?!

Dehumanizing, boundary-crossing, and voyeuristic. That Jill doesn't see that says so much about her.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

I closed on my house yesterday 😁

There is absolutely nothing to rent, there wasn't even a rental that we could go look at. So buying it was! And thankfully, it turned out really well. The house is gorgeous and move-in ready, in a nice (albeit very suburban) neighborhood very close to parks, the library, stores, as well as highways and commuter rail... I'm just still in shock that "they" let me actually buy it! No idea who "they" is in this case, but you know what I mean!

My boyfriend and I are going to have to downsize to both get into the house, and it's also going to be the first time we're living together. I'm a bit nervous about that... but at least there is a place to move into!

I took my parents and dog to the house for the first time yesterday afternoon. As soon as we got there, my dog bounded into the yard and was running around LITERALLY frolicking! It was amazing, I was so relieved. She seemed totally at home already... and this is a dog that I couldn't take house-hunting because she would whine and freak out at literally every house. My parents are also very happy, which makes me happy.

Things are still a bit crazy here but this is one thing that has gone really well 💗

[Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!]

2 hours ago, lascuba said:

Really scary. Just because the Duggars are awful doesn't mean there are other types of awful to worry about. Look how Derick turned out. Anything that produced that is not to be celebrated.

And Derick is raising his kids even more conservatively than he was. His mother worked, for one. Jill is not as well educated or as empowered as Cathy was back in the 90s/2000s. Cathy, the woman who gave her sons shirts about how hitting them was good child-rearing. That's really saying something.

[Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House]

9 hours ago, Cinnabon said:

I hope Ivy acted wanted the princess dress beforehand and Jesse didn’t just push it on her. It’s cute, but not all little girls need or want to be pretty little princesses.

Remember the video when they gave Ivy a new dress and she was looking at herself in the mirror like ☺️ and clearly feeling so beautiful? It was adorable. I think she likes pretty clothes.

Ivy seems like a sweet kid, I hope her light isn’t smothered by her parents’ neuroses and zealotry.

[Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events]

2 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

There's a good possibility it was either part of the thrill for him or a gradual baby step towards the idea that he could eventually normalize what he wanted in the eyes of others and not have to take such pains to hide it all anymore.

Yeah, he probably got a thrill out of publicly degrading her. 

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

Nobody sane is a sk8tr boi at 33. It's possible that nobody sane is a sk8tr boi in 2021!

Or maybe he looks like a loon because he's trying to be a knock off Kanye. Who is ALREADY a loon.

It's fine to love fashion, but unfortunately, he doesn't really have an eye. He has always looked ridiculous and costume-y in his get ups. Other people could probably pull them off, but he just doesn't have enough style.

I don't think it's that he's too ugly, he's just missing the personality or the vibe to pull off something more unusual. The clothes end up wearing him.

[Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events]

15 minutes ago, Rabbittron said:

We have to remember the fact that there are some people who no matter what treatment or punishment they get it won't work. So even if he gets 20 years in prison he will not be a changed Smuggar. He will continue to do what he wants. 

On the one hand, I agree, but on the other hand, a fourteen year old who is acting out sexually needs help. Not ditch digging and shunning, actual help.

Because something is going WILDLY wrong when a kid maybe not even past puberty himself is doing things like assaulting his younger sisters in common areas of the house and watching porn so publicly that random little kids are walking in and telling on him. Like, there's curiosity and then there's THAT.

And I know that JB and Michelle know that a kid acting out like that is a HUGE red flag, because they are obsessed with sexuality and sexualize everything.

It just makes me wonder so much about the greater context that Josh was operating in. Because a house where a five year old can be digitally raped by her brother in a common area and nobody even bats an eye is just mind-boggling to me. It just makes me think that Josh is the (most visible) symptom, but wtf is the disease.

[Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House]

17 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

And in sweatpants.  She looks like someone who has given up.  

I dunno, she's a million months pregnant, has three little kids, and a ton of family/emotional shit going on. I'm wearing sweatpants right now and I'm not even dealing with any of that 😆

[Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House]

2 hours ago, lascuba said:

Seriously, kudos to her (or whoever initiated the divorce) for leaving an unhappy marriage early. I see no value in suffering over ridiculous cultural norms.

 

1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

I agree, and to add to that, Jessica can make that choice because she has a real job with a real paycheck and real benefits. She's not stuck because she decided to become a breeding machine for Jesus (cough, cough, Anna).

Divorce sucks, but hopefully it's a learning experience for both of them and they can move on.

Totally agree. She has the freedom to divorce, and I'm glad. Her life doesn't have to be over because she wants to end a romantic relationship.

I never saw her wedding, but she looks very unhappy in those wedding pictures.

[Claire.....wait, There’s a Justin?]

I think the Howlers essentially raised each other, and their parents never bothered with them before, so why bother with them now? I think they're given an allowance and basically left to do whatever they want.

Some of it is gender, I think, because the Lost Girls seem just as suffocated and insulated as ever. But some of it might be their parents just not caring all that much, because the older boys seemed to have been given a lot more pressure and attention.

To be honest, in this family, it seems like the less attention a kid gets, especially a male kid, the better. Maybe the parents only notice a kid when he's "making trouble" or they're trying to force him into a very specific mold.

I will say that they seem like relatively nice kids (I mean "relative" considering how they've been taught to dehumanize so many other people). A lot of tight groups of guys that age give off a predatory wolf pack vibe, and I don't really see that with them. Of course, maybe it's just not pinging my radar, what do I know.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

My boyfriend's parents are in rehab and will be going to assisted living eventually. So for right now, their cat is with me! I'm not sure yet whether he will be staying with us for good or if he will be able to go back to my boyfriend's parents once they're settled into AL.

Sam seems happy to be here, though! He's easy-going, and I think he's loving having some company. My dog, Portia, is also EXTREMELY excited to have a new friend at home. She is being very, very good but sometimes her excitement gets the better of her, and she goes from wagging her tail to wagging her whole body and dancing from foot to foot. I settled Sam into the guest room, so now Portia likes to nap on the guest room bed and keep Sammy company (while he chills on his "bed" on the cabinet under the window). She clearly wants to be his new best friend.

I live in a high rise, and when Sam saw his new window, his mind was BLOWN. He spends most of his time looking out the window, but he's been exploring the house a lot, too. Last night, he actually kept me up because he kept wondering through the house and meowing. But whatever makes him happy.

It feels a bit weird because I don't know how attached to him I should let myself get! But it's wonderful having a cat in the house again anyhow. And it's made me so happy to see how happy Portia is for the company, too, and how sweet she has been with him.

[Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events]

On 5/11/2021 at 3:44 PM, Gigi43 said:

But Anna has leverage against the Duggar's because she's the one who could most likely get the biggest deal for a tell-all if she were to to break free so even cheap-ass JB may pay her off.

Fascinating thought, but I think Anna is a true believer and would never participate in a tell-all. I don’t think she has any leverage against JB and Michelle — if anything they are probably blaming her for not “doing her job” by keeping Josh on the straight and narrow. They are probably not as forgiving as we are for her failing to monitor his computer activity, for one. I think she’s in danger of becoming the family whipping boy. 

She does not come off as a very nice person, but I also think she’s in a very precarious position and doubling down on delusional cult bullshit to cope. I have no respect for her but I do have some pity. 

On 5/11/2021 at 4:49 PM, IndianPaintbrush said:

Some of the file names are really bad. Just having to go on the dark web implies Josh knew the content was out-of-bounds and likely illegal.

The law firm I used to work for defended a guy charged with possession of CP. He claimed he didn't actually have an attraction to children. He said he got a rush from looking at shocking images, and his viewing habits spiraled out of control because he was always in search of more shocking content. I could see Josh using this argument, although his history with minors is a huge strike against that.

To be honest, I think Josh is a sadist interested in sexual violence, and in his mind, the more vulnerable the victim of that sexual violence is, the better.

To me, that seems like an extremely dangerous person to be around. Not just for children but for anyone that Josh thinks is vulnerable. Including women, including his wife.

On 5/11/2021 at 10:00 PM, madpsych78 said:

For some reason, Josiah keeps coming to my mind here. The show did depict him as probably the only sibling who demonstrated any sort of looking-up-to-Josh behavior (especially when he first started courting Marjorie). And, he hasn't been on social media for six months. I really feel like he is such a wild card that it could have nothing to do with Josh, or absolutely everything to do with Josh (re: the supposed rumor about some other Duggars being implicated).

I wonder what Josiah is feeling right now. My assumption has always been that he was marked as a “sinner” in the family, and was married off to Lauren to keep him on the straight and  narrow — and I figured his “sin” was probably being queer. I thought his gloating and Lauren’s ashen face after the wedding night was probably because he didn’t know how sex would go and was delighted that he could “get it done.” All that might be true, but in light of the darkness of the charges against Josh, and Josiah retreating from any kind of public life, I wonder if I’ve been naive and things are more complex and darker than I’ve assumed.

I’m not saying Josiah did anything wrong, I have never gotten the feeling he is more of an ass or a danger than any of his siblings — but knowing that the family has been harboring a straight up predator for 30+ years makes me see the family dynamics and all the siblings a bit differently.

On 5/12/2021 at 8:59 AM, 3girlsforus said:

If the rumor that Josh is trying to make a deal by throwing someone else in the family under the bus has any truth I imagine it goes something like this. 

The person is Josiah because he worked at the car lot. Josh realizes that Josiah worked at the car lot so he tells his lawyer it could have been Josiah who downloaded the stuff. Josh's lawyers know this is crap but see if the Feds take the bait. The Feds laugh their asses off. 

The Feds might laugh their asses off, but Ma and Pa Duggar probably wouldn’t. Josiah might be in for a world of hurt from them if Josh can manage to pawn off any blame onto Josiah, even temporarily, even only within the family. Of course the court would never believe it, but the parents would LOVE to believe something like that.

On 5/25/2021 at 11:30 AM, Nysha said:

Good god, Pickles is a nasty piece of work. Jacob's father is dead, so he isn't currently supporting Sex Pest's behavior, and Jacob is not responsible for his father's decisions. What good would it do to call out a dead person? Jim Bob has deliberately defended, downplayed, and supported Josh's actions all his life. 

This is so messed up of Pickles! Jacob isn’t responsible for his father’s choices, and is clearly making a different one himself given that he’s speaking out. Also like you say, it’s pretty clear Jacob has his own demons. I’d imagine that it’s scary to know that your father could watch someone praying on children for years, someone who is supposedly part of his “flock” and who he is responsible for, and never spoke out. Who knows what else Mr Wilson failed to protect his children or anyone else from? And the same goes for the Duggars. 

With every one of these scandals, you always have to assume that what we know about is the tip of the iceberg. And as that tip of the iceberg gets worse and worse, it makes you wonder what the actual iceberg really looks like. 

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

And sorry, I don’t mean to pop in randomly and be so brusque! 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

In the last few weeks, I had an offer accepted on a house (closing in a couple weeks!), my supervisor quit and just peaced out on 4/30, so I’ve been doing her job as well as mine since then, and my boyfriend’s parents had some health emergencies that landed them in a nursing home rehab (hopefully they’ll be going to assisted living from there). Also, I’m involved in a couple civics orgs that decided THIS was the month to have their conventions. Just kinda crazy here. And the Josh Duggar crimes just made reading about the Duggars too dark and stressful for a while there, too. Sorta still in the place, if I’m honest. I miss you guys, though.

 

Oh yeah, and it’s Brood X time now, too! It sounds like an alien spaceship is constantly landing outside, the noise these 17 year cicadas make is SO weird.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

17 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I'm going to go back and see what I missed here, I swear, but right at the moment I just can't stop being my normal, overreactive self who seems to aggravate everyone around her. 

Mom's been over here for a few days again, and giving me grief over the fact that I'm not as active as I should be, and have gained a few (about 7 - nothing all that drastic) pounds over the past 6 months. Daughter and son-in-law over for dinner, which didn't come out great (I was trying something with salting a London broil for a while, then cooking it sous vide, and finishing with a sear on the grill), but I think I salted it for too long, and sous vided it at a few degrees higher than I should have, because it came out quite dry. Then Mr Jyn and Son-in-Law were moving a table out to the porch for the summertime plants, and Mom snipped at me for sitting in my seat instead of helping them move all sorts of things out of the way (nothing DID need to be moved out of the way)....And, I guess none of these things are a big deal, but between them and a dozen other things that I did wrong, it just eventually made me teary, and whenever I get upset, I want to blame myself, because it seems that I'm the one who screwed up because I just don't have the knack of thinking ahead and noticing what needs to be done like normal people do, so then they get aggravated at me because I feel as though I'm stupid and useless. All I'm trying to do is communicate that I take complete blame for all the stuff I did wrong, and hope that someone will tell me that it's OK, and that they still love me, but all I get is, "stop that!!!", and "I can't even talk to you". So I know that it's my fault again for not being a normal person, but I don't know how to be anyone else than me...

At least my son-in-law gives me hugs and a bit of compassion.

 

15 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

I push back all the time. I try to explain that I realize I have faults, and pointing them out to me all the time is not going to do anything toward making me more interested in changing. She totally doesn't get it, because she is (or claims to be, anyway) one of those (rare) people who welcome constructive criticism, solicited or otherwise, because she wants to be the very best person she can be. That's her response. And the other is, "I'm an old lady, I've earned the right to speak my mind when I feel that something needs to be said".

The one time I really got angry at her a few months ago, and told her that her advice actually made me less likely to fix anything she was nagging me about, she compared me to (not to get political!) a certain ex-president, and told me I was acting like a toddler.

 

She is bullying you.

I don't know how to handle a bully, really. But she's just picking on you because she thinks you're an easy target, not because any of these supposed "faults" of yours are even real or she wants them to "improve."

And the whole family is acting like you're the designated family scapegoat.

Honestly, I would throw her out of the house or only agree to see her at her house so that you can walk out the door when she starts with the bullying again. But I know that may not be an option because you're essentially doing elder care.

Maybe other people know more about how to handle a bully?

But regardless, don't blame yourself and don't give credence to this bullshit. She's just making you feel small because it makes her feel big, not for any more "legitimate" reason than that.

[Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events]

When Josh got caught as a teenager, wasn’t he shipped off to a sheriff who then also got arrested for child sexual assault images?!

Abuse and depravity is very normalized in this group and who knows where/when/how Josh or ANY of these sick fucks became pedophiles and/or sexual predators. But it seems like within this “social circle,” the predatory behavior is self-reinforcing. Josh is just part of the predatory churn. 🤮

Just like when we heard about what Josh did as a teenager, I think right now we’re also seeing just the tip of the iceberg.

So horrific to think of a pedophile running amok in a family known for massive amounts of under-supervised and neglected children. No, I’m not surprised by the charges but I’m still horrified by them. I had hoped that Josh wasn’t continuing to predate, even though it seemed far more likely that he was, and now even that small hope is dashed.

I wonder how the family will move on from this. What I would think they’d want to do would be to hide out for at least a while... but for most of the 2nd gen, their “influencer” fame is how they put food on the table, so... how can they slide into obscurity, practically speaking? 

As for Anna, this probably changes nothing for her. And their religion teaches them to choose their spouse over their children, so I think that’s what she’ll do.

[Jessa, Ben and Their Brood: Making a (Diaper) Mountain out of a Mold House]

Jessa doesn't look well. Her complexion is so wan and her skin looks waxy. Maybe it's just morning sickness?

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

Just now, laurakaye said:

May 1st is the deadline - 575 people requesting the book.

Damn, only 575 even want the book for free? 🤣

[Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!]

The advice is to go to school in the geographic area where you're going to practice. Going to U of A will set Derick up well for practicing in Arkansas, both because of the network and because he'll be trained in Arkansas law for the Arkansas bar. Well, and also because it was probably relatively inexpensive for him. The only exception to the advice to go to school where you want to practice is if you're talking about going to Harvard Law, or possibly one of the other top handful of schools in the country that have massive national "brand" recognition. U of A was a very good choice for him, it's the top school in the state he wants to stay in and that's always a great thing. I'm sure he'll be able to find a relatively good job, but it's true that the hours might be long and he may not enjoy it as much as he enjoyed law school... only time will tell.

Anyway, personally, I think their set up is great for Fenna. They have a yard, a walkable neighborhood, an adult home all day, and kids for Fenna to play with. Plus, they're trying to follow the new dog owner advice with training and supplies and all that. I think Fenna will be good for the family, too. A cheerful little soul who just wants to play and have fun and love everybody in her "pack" seems like a wonderful addition to the family, to me.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

The azaleas are blooming their hearts out this spring and I love it! 😍

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

Oh wow, that website better take that libel down right now! 
 

That’s pretty shocking stuff, really glad for everyone’s sake (especially Jinger’s!) that it’s not true.

[The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie]

What the hell?!

Quote

Jeremy’s world turned upside down after numerous women came forward to allege that the former soccer player had sexually assaulted them during his teenage years. While he did admit to cheating on Jinger, this period was much more difficult. In an interview with Us Weekly, Jinger spoke on how the scandal divided her close ones.

And casually throwing in, "admitted to cheating on Jinger," too?

This all sounds crazy -- but the article has so many quotes from them both, which does lend a little more credibility. Jeez.

 

[Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp]

Quote

What things are there in your life are more important to you than Jesus? This is the question our pastor asked us today and it hit me hard.

Fame? Social Status? Money? Work? Food? Fun? Your Phone?

Revival in the church and in the world starts with ME, in my heart.
I often come to the Lord when I feel that I need His ‘help’, but we need the Lord every second of everyday. We need to be grateful for this life He has given us and praise Him for who He is. In the good times and the bad.

“Lord, Search me, know me, try me and see every worthless affection hidden in me. All I'm asking for is that You'd cleanse me, Lord. Create in me a heart that's clean. Conquer the power of secret shame. Come wash away the guilty stain of all my sin.”

I did not grow up with religion and this kind of talk gives me the heebie geebies. Maybe it's normal to people within evangelical churches, and I don't mean to give offense.

It just makes me think, what is going on with Joy that she is clinging SO HARD to religion and is trying to find gratitude toward God "every second of every day"? Is she super unhappy? Or is this just normal talk within her social circle and not alarming the way it sounds to an outsider?

[S15.E10: Polygamy Hell]

15 hours ago, Grifter Lives said:

She allowed his preposterous and heartless idea that Ysabel go to NJ alone to be presented as an option.  Christine should have slammed it down and told him that his suggestion was so unconscionable that it was unspeakable.

To be fair, Christine immediately told Ysabel that that would never happen, she would 100% be there, etc. But the damage was already done.

I have some sympathy for Christine because she was brought up in polygamy. I think it took her a long time to realize that she could choose something different, and it seems like even now she doesn't have the perspective to see how horrible and bizarre the current situation is. Also, her only identity in life since she was very young has been: (plural) wife, mother, homemaker -- and now she can see being an empty-nester on the horizon. I think she probably has the wrongheaded notion that she shouldn't break up the family while there are still young kids involved and is waiting until all are grown. But it seems to me that the family has already dissolved anyhow.

It's interesting to go back and watch old episodes of this show. Pretty much the only justifications that any of the adults gave for polygamy even a decade ago is that it makes childcare much easier and it's part of their faith. Well, childcare isn't really an issue anymore, and frankly, there will probably be no more kids. So now all that's holding them together is their faith? I have a hard time believing that most of these women are interested in being on Planet Kody and Kody has been really blunt that he doesn't want them there. Although especially with Meri and Christine, maybe they really are that religious, I don't know.

I wish I knew what was going on between Kody and Christine. I don't think they ever really got along, but he seems to actively despise her now. Where is the antipathy coming from?

It's interesting to see how much Kody wants monogamy at this point, too. He never seemed in love with or attracted to his first three wives, and I think he legitimately might have married three because that's the minimum number to get your planet and "practice the faith." I think now even living his religion isn't worth it to him, it's too horrible to be pressured to "cheat" on Robyn and be away from her all the time. I feel like I'm watching a nature doc on mating habits hahaha

[Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!]

5 hours ago, floridamom said:

My opinion is that she really isn't an asset in Derick's life. He has to carry her through it most of the time. 

I dunno, I doubt Derick does much childcare or even does much around the house. I don't think Jill is some amazing home maker, but without her, Derick would just be holed up in some lonely, dirty bachelor pad.

It's possible that Jill and the kids are in survival mode not because Derick can't help as much as usual but rather because Derick is super stressed out and therefore a total pain to live with. Also, intense studying or intense work of any kind is TOTALLY foreign to Jill, so she's probably extra bewildered by Derick's stress and time pressure and therefore stressed out herself.

[Small Talk: The Prayer Closet]

Pumpkin works great, but maybe go easy on it because it will definitely get things moving! Greens work really well for getting things moving, too. 

If he keeps having trouble, bland meals like eggs, chicken, or fish with white rice (and possibly some veg) usually sit well on a dog’s stomach.

But to be honest, it sounds like he just had to get the cat food out of his system! 

He trusts you to help him when he’s sick, and you came through for him — sounds like you’ve really bonded ❤️