rue721
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Posts posted by rue721
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That’s awesome, @Jenniferbug!
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6 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:
@rue721 I am so sorry this has been so stressful. I have two close friends in the purchasing process right now, and its 50x the headache it would be under normal situations. ((((HUGS))))
Yeah, and the crazy thing is that home prices practically never fall, so it's not like if you wait this out then you're going to have a better shot later! It'll probably just be worse, because you'll be paying this same high price but with higher interest to boot.
But regardless, this is just too much for me to handle. I feel like I thought, "let's learn to ski!" and wound up at the top of a Black Diamond. Or I thought, "let's learn to play cards!" and wound up at the high rollers' table in some backroom. Uhhhh I was thinking the bunny slopes or Egyptian ratscrew. It's just going to end in tears if I try to pretend like I belong with this crowd, waving around cash payments and mortgages like they're monopoly money. I know it risks me never being able to own a house but this is just wayyyyyyy too scary.
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@Mindthinkr of course you shouldn't feel embarrassed to help a friend! Just remember that you deserve to be treated like a friend, not like a servant.
Congrats, @Turquoise! It is HARD right now for a buyer, getting a contract is a real accomplishment. I'm sure that took a lot of work and was a lot of stress.
I wanted to buy a house before leaving my current job for law school, since I'll hopefully be living in the same place until 2024+, and with pets (including a larger dog) and an electric car that needs to charge, buying seemed easier and more cost effective than renting. Plus, it's not like my money is doing any good sitting in a savings account earning 0.5% interest a year, better to park it in a house and lower my monthly bills at the same time. Buuuuuut. I don't think it's meant to be. I actually put in an offer on a house this weekend -- regular suburban neighborhood on the Baltimore City/County line, regular small "starter" home, had been on the market for 1 day, etc. I went in with an offer I thought was crazy -- $25,000 over asking (list price was $290,000, so that was about 15% over), an appraisal gap of $5,000, waiving an inspection (I NEVER thought I'd do that), 30 day free rent back... whelp, turns out that I wasn't even in the top 10 of the offers that they got. My agent contacted the listing agent after my offer was rejected to ask if I could be the backup, and the listing agent was straight up like, "Nope." Turns out, the house ended up selling for $60,000+ over asking (so for $350,000+), with the buyers offering to pay cash for ANYTHING over appraisal, no contingencies at all, and a bunch of other crazy shit like paying the seller's taxes for them. The current owners bought this house for less than $240,000 in 2013! I'm like, "noooooo I'm out. This is too crazy." I already was having nightmares the night after submitting an offer because of how expensive this house was and worries I'd never be able to sell or get my closing costs back, this shit is way too rich for my blood. The annoying thing is that the issues with rentals still exist, it's going to be a pain in the neck to find an affordable one that fits our needs. But the housing market is just... like, WHAT is going on even?! Hopefully it calms down eventually, although when, who knows. Knowing our luck, it'll just keep being fucking bonkers until everyone is homeless.
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They laud unquestioning obedience as a virtue and then don't know who to blame when they're lured into a cult by some charismatic "authority figure" who tells them to do all sorts of self-destructive and plain-old-destructive things... which they again do with unquestioning obedience, to everyone's pain and shame.
When will these people learn that obedience is a dangerous, dangerous thing?
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In my 15 minute wait after Covid vax #1 😅😊
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So Jinger had an eating disorder and the new "hobby" that the PR crowd wants her to sell is cooking/baking?
Seems a little cruel to me, but... 🤐
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8 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:
How was driving all these years? did you use the clip on things? Now that it is spring, I think "I should put my sunglasses on when I walk Cosmo", not having sunglasses to drive would be so uncomfortable for me. Maybe my eyes are sensitive? Or maybe its a midwest thing, because our land is so flat, the glare can be intense?
Or I am just a huge ass baby- this is very possible.
I just never had sunglasses growing up, my mom thinks they look pretentious on kids. When my vision started going bad, I had to beg and plead to finally go to the eye doctor, too. I was sure I had a brain tumor because my head was hurting and my eyesight was fuzzy -- nope, just not-very-severe shortsightedness! My parents don't have the most proactive views on health 🙄
When I moved to California, I became obsessed with sunglasses, and I love them. But I still am constantly forgetting them and don't even have a functional pair right now. I never had a Rx pair -- I would just wear sunglasses with contacts or squint (I got Lasik eight years ago though!).
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I just got my first shot scheduled for Monday morning! I'm getting it through my city.
The city opened up to general availability on Monday, and I got an email that night asking me to sign up to make an appointment for a J&J shot. I've been leery of the J&J shot because it doesn't confer as much immunity as Moderna and Pfizer (which probably doesn't matter, but that was still in my mind), so I just held onto the email but didn't schedule... and then lo and behold, J&J gets paused yesterday! So last night I got curious about whether the vaccine appointment invitation email still worked, and went to sign up for an appointment... they're offering Moderna now as the replacement! Sooooooooo excited!
Meanwhile, my coworker tried to jump the queue by claiming to be in an industry that I personally think is realllllllllly arguable. Whelp, he got J&J on Monday morning. He was livid when it got pulled, and he had a bad night of side effects the first night. Now he's going on about how he thinks he wrecked his body for life and that he feels like a guinea pig. On the one hand, I kinda get it in that that's pretty bad timing. On the other, I'm like, grow up. And if you had acted like a grown up from the start, you wouldn't have jumped the queue and none of this would even be an issue! I tried to make him feel better by saying that the risks from the shot seem to be limited to younger women with platelet issues (not his demographic) and only a very small number of them at that. He's furious at me now, won't even say hello or goodbye. And we share an office, so that's awkward.
In summary, people are weird.
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Honestly, Jill is a pretty woman. It's the inside that's ugly.
The decorated water heater is terrifying. I can't believe that this family lives in that depressing, industrial, firetrap and she's out there buying expensive, useless, enormous furniture like a grandfather clock. I feel like the world as it exists in Jill's head has zero resemblance to the actual world we all live in.
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Johanna looks like a young, female version of Josh to me. Someone else pointed that out a while ago and I will apparently never be able to unsee it.
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17 minutes ago, zoomama said:
yes and its LOUD!!! he says there is nothing to do but live with it.
I think someone on this board recommended a phone app that will play a noise at the exact Hz to cancel out the tinnitus noise -- the poster said it worked wonders. I'm sorry, I don't remember who recommended it and I haven't tried it. It sounded like an amazing idea, though!
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1 hour ago, Zella said:
I guess at the end of the day, I think it is just problematic to assume someone is depressed because they are a slob or indifferent to their kids' appearance, especially when this is how they have always been. Some people are just nasty and indifferent.
Well maybe, but at the same time I think it's problematic to write off someone throwing up classic mental illness red flags as just her being a nasty, indifferent slob.
It's moot anyhow, we can't diagnose her, and I doubt she's going to seek a diagnosis or any real help herself, either.
I just identify with her because she's doing similar things to me when I went through a very difficult depressive episode. I see her as struggling and empathize... but of course, that doesn't mean my perception is objective truth! Who really knows what's going on or what would help -- probably not even Jessa.
ETA: I think we are basically in agreement that this isn't a healthy way to live, though. Living in filth, not feeding your children meals or giving them proper places to sleep... Not a good plan. I wish Ben would step in and start addressing all this, but he doesn't seem interested.
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36 minutes ago, Tikichick said:
Lack of housekeeping that simply goes beyond the pale, disheveled appearance of her children, highlighting things like lack of any effort to wrap her children's birthday gifts, her children eating and sleeping like feral creatures, complete lack of enthusiasm doing things with her children like dying the eggs, her own frequently disheveled appearance, the really awful dynamic with Ben.
Totally agree. At the point when you're living in filth, unable to keep up with your own grooming, unable to keep your children clean and fed... to me that definitely looks like depression. Which is actually common and not a huge deal, it's usually treatable -- but Jessa's going to try and pray it away instead of actually treating it. I feel bad for her.
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3 hours ago, emma675 said:
rue721, it's been a looooong time since I've had to take a standardized test, but do they let you see your results so you can see what tripped you up?
Unfortunately, this exam doesn't let you see what you got wrong! You do get a score report that tells you if you were especially weak or strong in certain areas, but the areas are so broad that it's not really helpful.
30 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:@rue721, I’m sorry you didn’t pass. I know you studied really hard for it. You’ve had a lot going on between the tests, and law school, and looking for a house. Maybe take some time to relax and give yourself a break before jumping back in.
You're right. Honestly, I haven't been that focused on this exam because I have a lot of things going on that are more important to me right now. Maybe I'll reschedule for about a month out, so I can take my time reviewing.
I think I mostly need to do A LOT of practice problems. My scores have been close enough to the cut-off that I think my basic grasp of the information is good, but I need to go over my flashcards/notes to keep that information top of mind and just work a TON of problems, so that working them becomes muscle memory.
It's frustrating because it just feels like this phase of my life is over and these last few months before I can move on are rough...
@NotthebadVictoria, I'm so sorry about your pup. That's heartbreaking, and I'm sure you and your other dog both need time to mourn. I don't think that you can make your other dog feel OK about missing his brother, but you can both keep each other company so that neither of you feels alone. That's really hard, I'm sorry.
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I failed the last CPA exam section 😕 So frustrated! I passed the other three exams on the first try, but this one is giving me a lot of trouble for some reason.
And I really thought I passed!
To be honest, I'm very disappointed. It's not a disaster, I can take it again (and again and again and again). But I am just so, so ready to be done with everything having to do with these exams. I seriously want to crawl into bed and cry.
I'm so exhausted. Really trying to rally myself to study hard and take another swing, but it's not easy at the moment. Maybe I'll feel more positive about it tomorrow. A big part of me just wants to give up, but realistically, I am pretty desperate for whatever job security and salary bump that the license can give me, so that's not an option. I can't tell you how jealous I am of people who can earn a living wage without going through this.
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I was the tallest kid in my class most years... until I turned nine and hit puberty! I barely grew after that -- maybe another inch, and then stopped at about ten years old. I'm 5'6.
I think a lot of the time, tall kids are just getting their growth spurts in early, they don't necessarily end up taller or shorter than any other kid.
Also, I'm sorry to say this, but the Dillards are a very homely family. Dan looks weirdly shell-shocked in that picture, too, which probably doesn't help.
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44 minutes ago, crazy8s said:
"Bill Gothard allowed families to have one small pet dog, but not to give it too much love as it might become an idol."
My dog would NOT be having this 😂
To be fair, she does have a full wardrobe, and when her stomach was upset yesterday I was trying to tempt her to at least eat a little doggie ice cream. But spoiling pets is SO. FUN. 😁
Oh, that explains it... once again, Gothard is against anything fun.
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I snagged a vaccine appointment for my boyfriend! He's been eligible for a few weeks based on his industry, but I won't be eligible for another two weeks. He has been waiting for his health department to call him up, but of course they haven't. Then today, my coworker (arguably 🙄) became eligible and began frantically looking for an appointment for himself, so I went onto Vaccine Finder, too, to see if there were any appointments by my boyfriend... lo and behold, it took a couple hours of periodic checking, but I got him one! I feel kind of weird, like I overstepped by booking him an appointment, but when I saw one was available, I couldn't just not do it... So now I'm both worried he's offended (probably unnecessarily, but it's so hard to know what someone is feeling when you're communicating only by text! And we're both at work, so it's nothing but texting for the afternoon!) -- and also very relieved because hopefully he'll be protected soon!
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I don't know where you guys are getting the idea that Kendra is in charge of the baby train and Joe would demur to her! He doesn't seem like a horrible person, but he seems as much of a true believer in their patriarchal fertility cult as Kendra or any of the others.
My assumption is that he expects Kendra to be joyfully available and breed for Jesus. That's her duty as a Christian woman, in their brand of "Christianity."
Not that I think Kendra disagrees in theory, but in practice I think it's too much for her and it's starting to freak her out.
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I wonder what Katey’s mom and brother thought when they heard these vows. Maybe they loved every word, but I would be incensed to hear my daughter or sister pledging to be an obedient broodmare 🤮
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18 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:
@rue721 Don’t do it! Lol the end.
Hahaha yup, I hear you. I just talked more in depth with my boyfriend and he also made a lot of good points about why it makes more sense for us to rent for now, and our compromise is that we’re going to rent a house (rather than an apartment). I’m a bit sad, but it really is so much more sensible, and it’s a relief not to tie up so much of my savings and take on even more work right now, too. Thanks for the reality check, everybody!
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All these people live the same lives from age 18 (at most) until they get married. There is just an unchanging sea of days and single people of both genders are expected to remain perpetual ingenues for all of them. It's not like for people in the mainstream where someone who is 18 is expected to be in a different life stage from people who are 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45... for this crowd, a single adult is a single adult is a single adult. And if you're in the same life stage and hold the same social position then what difference does age make? It really is just a number at that point.
So weird but I just can't get up in arms over any age difference among these couples because it just seems meaningless to me within this context. Now, massive differences in life experience and education are a red flag for me, personally. But even then, I think the people who convert into this weird religion/cult and seek spouses within it must have some pretty major damage just by definition, and it's sort of a case-by-case thing whether that damage is sad and hopefully heal-able (like Derick) or scary and predatory (like Tabitha Payne's creepy rapist husband).
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Yeah, in my heart I know you all (and my mom, and my friend) are absolutely right. It's just so tempting... but then, I'm always tempted by enormous, all-consuming projects like this and then end up with way too much on my plate 🙄
This is also how I ended up living in an urban high rise with a super energetic and emotionally needy rescue scent hound with health issues. This is how I ended up getting my CPA and applying to law school at the same time. This is how I fell in love during Pandemic Year while trying to navigate social distancing. I think you are probably seeing a pattern here 😂
I should try and be a sensible grownup about this 🤔
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2 hours ago, Zella said:
In many ways, this all reminds me of Mad Men. With significantly less glamorous people. As long as everything looks okay on the surface, who cares how the fuck you really are emotionally. Anna can pull off a better everything looks okay than a lot of the rest of them, but it still rings really hollow.
Totally agree, but does this mean that Anna is Betty Draper?!
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The Duggalos: Jinger and the Holy Goalie
in Counting On
How depressing.
I thought it was sweet she missed her grandmother, but I think you're right. This is part of Jinger's "happy homemaker" branding attempt. So horrible to exploit her dead grandmother that way, jeez louise.