peach

Thanks! :) I had fun doing it. Much more fun than doing laundry!

I am not one of the recappers of reknown, but I thought I'd take a stab at it. It's not fanfic, just a snarky recap. MON APRIL 14 Victor shouts at a henchman to find Fake Cassie. “You GOT it? She’s a LOOSE CANNON.” Fake Cassie eavesdrops on Nick and Sharon in the park. She’s artfully disguised wearing a black hoodie with all her red hair spilling out. Sharon tells Nick it’s GREAT she went cray and hallucinated because now [they’re back together] she’s getting the help she needs. Fake Cassie is conflicted. Neil hypnotizes Hilary with a really boring speech about going in….ever…so…slowly…for a kiss. It’s really…slow. She’s too numb to resist. He is interrupted by Chloe and Chelsea screaming in the distance. Cut to the catfight. They are wrested apart from each other by Jack, Kevin, and Lily until Neil can calm these ladies down. Bitches be crazy! Chelsea at least manages to remind everyone that Chloe once passed off Delia as Cane’s daughter. See, the writers HAVE seen this show! Kelly and Abby also arrive. Abby finds it hilarious. Uh-oh…The Forresters have shown up during this embarrassing mess. Rick is quite the dandy, and Caroline’s either had a few drinks on the way or thinks she’s in a school play. Kelly takes them away and Abby tags along but not before introducing herself as THE Abby Newman. Chloe and Chelsea are taken to their respective corners for a break in destroying their careers, while Lily makes it all about her. Hilary stumbles in, clearly in a daze from Neil’s boring kiss, looking physically ill. She’s lost a lot of life points. At Victoria’s house, Stitch fakes a sore neck so he can get a massage. Stitch asks for another date by calling Vickie on her cell phone while in the same room. It’s really [stupid] charming. Victor drops by. It’s AWKWARD. Sharon is still happy about how being crazy made her life work out great. They kiss. Fake Cassie runs off and collides with Noah. She slips gently to the ground making contact with nothing. He tries to help her but she runs away. Sharon recaps to Noah how each one of the Newmans specifically hate her, but she seems to think it’s kind of amusing. It’s awesome. Lily’s now freaking out that Lauren left the show. THE Abby Newman volunteers herself as a replacement. Chloe cannot believe Chelsea is mad at her. Kevin tries to talk sense into her. This proves impossible. He begs her to salvage the friendship, but Chloe overhears The Forresters offering Chelsea a line under their label. Chelsea says Chloe doesn’t have to know. BUT SHE DOES KNOW! Stitch leaves, and Victoria admits she misses Billy a whole lot so she’s taking her mind off it with “other things.” Victor totally gets that means Stitch. You can’t get anything by Victor Newman. Nick drops by, because he finally stopped slobbering over Sharon long enough to remember his nephew’s birthday. Victor invites them to an engagement party for Abby and Tyler, even though it’s a big mistake. But, new and improved Victor tells his two kids that they are all adults and can make mistakes if they want to. Nick tests this philosophy by saying he is bringing Sharon as his date. Stitch finds Fake Cassie on a park bench nursing her gaping wound she got falling down on nothing. She says she got it “running away from nosy strangers.” Ha. Stitch can’t take a hint. He thinks she needs a tetanus shot and offers to take her to the hospital, even though she doesn’t have medical insurance. He says she doesn’t really need it to go the ER. He’s kind of new to this doctor thing. Neil hypnotizes Hilary some more with really slow close-talking. Her eyelids are getting heavier. (I am not making this up!) But before he can slooooowly go in for another kiss, Lily shows up and gets even more pissed about how everyone is ruining her life. Opal from AMC is now the stage manager at the fashion show, which she has to explain to Chloe and Chelsea for some reason. She scolds them like children for acting like idiots and ruining everything with their shenanigans, and they better get it together or she’s kicking them out. It’s very unclear who is the actual boss of whom around here. This is all it takes for Chloe and Chelsea to giggle like children and start having fun again, because old ladies! Amiright? Sybil/Chloe switches personalities and apologizes to Chelsea for “acting like a crazy woman who locks herself in an attic and tries to burn everything down,” which is, like, really specific… and she really wants to be friends again. Chelsea says let’s just do the fashion show, okay? Well, it’s NOT OKAY. Kevin tells her Chelsea will come around, and Chloe promises “no shenanigans” when clearly the glint in her eye is allll about the shenanigans. Does the GCAC have an attic?? THE Abby Newman can’t find Tyler who is supposed to be picking up a photographer from the airport. She’s in the fashion show now, and Tyler isn’t answering his phone. She leaves an insane runon msg asking him questions that he can’t answer because it’s VOICE MAIL. But she’s ABBY NEWMAN. Summer hears Jack and Kelly talking about their lousy dinner at the GCAC last night. Summer starts pouting, because Phyllis. Kelly stammered her way off screen, and Jack lied that Phyllis is like the most important person ever. Sharon talks to Noah back at the cottage. She asks him what he knows about her talking to Fake Cassie. He tells her she had some kind of secret, but he thinks it was about not taking her meds. Sharon shrugs it off, because, after all, she’s done so much crazy shit it could be anything, really! (I laughed out loud.) Sharon is so zen now. Apparently electro shock treatment is the greatest thing ever. I wish I felt that good. Fake Cassie is in the ER with Stitch. NO WAITING, even without insurance. I’m moving to Genoa City. She puts Jane Doe on her forms, telling Stitch, “my mother had a wonderful sense of humor!” He asks if she’s in trouble, and she finds herself vaguely spilling her guts about how she causes trouble, and then catches herself! OMG, she was telling Stitch everything! What is wrong with her? She tells him he wouldn’t understand anything about causing destruction. He winces. Stitch tells her she wants to tell him. She must not have anyone to talk to. Stitch is a better psychiatrist than Dr Mead. Nick tells his family that if he’s with Sharon they all have to deal with it. Way to leave an out for yourself, Nick, IF you’re with Sharon. Victor swallows everything he stands for and says that’s fine, and leaves, probably so he can go scream in his car. Victoria wants to diss Nick over Sharon but says she takes her ex back all the time, so she should probably shut up. Nick then tries to tell her she could take him back AGAIN. Because love. Sharon tells Noah this is the first time NOTHING has ever stood between her and Nick. An anvil falls on her head. Stitch goes to get the tetanus shot for Fake Cassie because Memorial doesn’t have any nurses, and runs into Victor. HE’S RIGHT IN THE HALLWAY! Fake Cassie listens. Victor gives Stitch a “don’t hurt my daughter” speech. Lily keeps yelling at Hilary. She’s barely conscious after being hypnotized by Neil and doesn’t even fight back. She tells Lily she must be nervous, so Lily yells at her for that, too. Give her some Viva Surge, Lily!! The Forresters’ show was spectacular! So they say. We see none of it. Now it’s time for Jabot. Opal/stage manager tells all unnecessary people to LEAVE. Jack asks Kelly if Opal knows who’s signing the checks?? But he leaves with Kelly, and Summer NOTICES! Then Opal makes a huge tactical error and tells KEVIN he’s also unnecessary for the show, not knowing he’s the anti-shenanigans officer, and he also leaves. Oops. Chloe rushes to help Chelsea who finds out that the final, ultimate, AMAZING dress for the show is, gasp, STILL IN THE GARMENT BAG! The DRESS. Is IN. The GARMENT BAG!!!! Chloe promises to take care of it for her, and Chelsea rushes off. And Sybil/Chloe grabs some scissors and gleefully starts cutting up the dress! SHENANIGANS!! And she didn’t even take it out of the garment bag! Until Tomorrow….

I was very interested in your Taco Bell review. lol It didn't look that good to me, but now I might try it. And I only have to go around the corner! (Your soap commentary was very good as well.)

Actually, he was a pretty amazing underwear model. lol

It rains so much they have a difficult time even shooting the scenes that do take place outside!

I think Jessica almost acts like she's on the autistic spectrum. She is weird about social cues.

At least Caleb would only be 10 years older than her, instead of 30.

Too much work.

Put the 13 yo girl down, Harry. Just put her down. I wonder what Emily "do you think those lyrics are appropriate for you?" Piriz thought about that.

Thank you, glowlights! That was perfect. My soul feels all those things, but it just usually articulated with me loudly saying, "NO!" when each of these songs is "performed" be these empty kids. The "Every Breath You Take" thing being the worst yet. NO! NO NO NO.

Innnnnappropriate! In the second half the show, I found myself saying out loud, "is he drunk?" I'm pretty sure he was drunk. I've known a few people who didn't slur or weave around or whatever, even though they were crocked. (And if I were HCJ, I would probably be drunk on this show, too.)

I didn't mean *I* thought he was playing anything of consequence. His own comments seemed to indicate he was really excited about playing electric git-tar on a big stage like that instead of in a bar. Playing rock star. I'm sure it was fun for him, but I thought it was his weakest performance.

I totally agree. My husband and I were singing along to it, holding our arms out to each other...and laughing. Not crying. Nostalgia makes you smile, not cry.

I'm pretty sure it will have something to do with the Kardashians.

And that's why I can't give up on soaps. What good are kids you didn't steal away from Victor?

And Glee has made Journey even cheesier than it already was. My husband and I sang a few bars of it to each other on the couch while we were watching, but we were laughing, not crying. Old ladies don't cry over high school songs. And I agree about Dexter's song. I do really like his voice, but I think he seemed more focused on playing his git-tar for that song, than singing it. You're right, that song is hilarious, esp the part when he sings, "she started talkin bout TRUE LOVE, started talkin about SIN." But Dexter just sang it like it was just words on the song sheet. I can't dislike him, though. I can dislike Caleb and Jessica.

I did get a kick out of Victor giving Jack a hard time about "his son" complete with air quotes every time he said it.

Seriously, I said out loud, "is he drunk?"

That is called the "blood eagle" and is something Vikings really did as a form of torture. As for Borg, I think in his conversation with the seer, he said something about his symbol being the eagle (the way Ragnar's symbol is the raven, which he has sewn onto his clothing, etc, to represent his supposed descendence from Odin). So either the seer is really supposed to have had a prophetic vision of Ragnar using the blood eagle on Borg, or it was a really good guess based on what he knows, and/or the seer is pretty much Team Ragnar. Jarl Borg did attack their village. (I also think he's Team Lagertha, lol) That about made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

Edited: Duplicate post

I HATE CIRCUS PEANUTS! And finding them in jello? That is heinous and downright crazy. But I might eat them before hog's brains. That's probably the line for me. Beyond ick.

I thought it was cool. The story was about rivals, and one ate all the meat but left the bones (didn't go all the way: Borg), and the other ate all the meat, the bones and even the trencher. (Ragnar) Ragnar is the winner. Jarl Borg is toast.

I've never been quite sure what her end game is with Horik either. It's definitely not worth it. I guess she doesn't care that much for Rollo at heart; he's more of a means to an end. A very hot means to an end. With the risks they take, she always stands a chance that Ragnar will die in battle or in a shipwreck or something, and then presumably Rollo would take his place. I guess he's the best chance she's got for anything. Great points.

Cosign on everything you said about the crucifixion and Rome in general. It veered into Ancient Aliens territory. I sometimes feel like this show doesn't know how it wants to handle the Christian angle of the story. And,yes, I agree about Floki's jealousy. I've thought all along that that's what his animosity toward Athelstan is really about. I think he hates the Christians in general, but with Athelstan, it's personal. Especially since Athelstan's done nothing but help Ragnar and his people.

She stuck by Rollo when he was face down in the dirt for years, with few prospects, so he sort of owes her for that. But he's obviously pissed about King Horik (gross), and not just because of cheating, but because he's learned his lesson and is apparently 100% on his brother's side now. So her manipulations to undermine Ragnar are going to be a problem for him. Just guessing, of course! I would hate to see her lose everything, just the same. I thought about that, too. Princess Aslaug only thinks about herself. And Lagertha and Siggy also went thru the plague and losing their daughters together. They have a bond.