Phoebe70

Patrick was a complete a$$ and I felt no sympathy for him. I did, however, want to smack that constant smirk off his face. I’m disappointed and angry that Dr. Now approved him for surgery. Maybe he has a quota to meet, because Patrick certainly wasn’t deserving of it. His wife not only enabled him with food, but also with her words. There’s a line between being supportive and blowing smoke up someone’s butt. Everything he did was “wonderful,” “great,” “awesome,” even when he only lost a few pounds. She could have been supportive while also keeping it real. The only person I liked in this episode was his daughter Hayley. Heck, I didn’t even like Dr. Now in this one. Why oh why did he approve this jacka$$ for surgery?!

I don’t understand what Audrey sees in Leon. Audrey always seemed fun, kind, gets along with everyone, go with the flow type. And they always appeared neatly dressed and stylish. Leon, on the other hand, is surly, entitled, bratty and pretentious. And Leon just comes across (physical appearance-wise) as dirty, greasy and sloppy. What is the appeal?

I’ve noticed that Amy is constantly calling Chris “babe.” I don’t know why, but it seems cringey coming out of a 60 year old’s mouth. Auj and Jer call each other “babe” too. Maybe Amy’s trying to be young and hip. I should just be glad she doesn’t call him “babe-uh” like Tori and Zach.

I’d have more respect for Jer and Auj if they brought home a cat from a rescue shelter, but I guess those kinds don’t meet her aesthetic.

Another week, another ho-hum episode. Zach and Tori go to a restaurant…fascinating! Is this really what LPBW has turned into? An hour of watching Tori bitch about Zach, Zach bitch about the farm, and Matt moving a rickety pirate ship? Oh brothers! Makes me long for the old episodes of Zach failing high school, Jeremy sleeping all day, and Matt renovating the house while Amy bitches about him spending money. On the plus side, I discovered a new drinking game: take a swig every time in this episode where Matt says “Pivot” and Z/T say “Date Night.”

Did I really just watch an episode where the most exciting thing to happen was Tori and Amy shopping for clothes? Oh brothers! Lilah breaks my heart more and more with each new episode. She’s practically mute but Tori’s not worried because she was a kindergarten teacher a million years ago and thus an expert on speech and language pathology. Zach and Tori are too focused on King Jackson who, frankly, annoys me with his constant hamming it up for the camera. They’re discovering that the new house doesn’t have an ideal bedroom situation…duh! Isn’t this something you should have considered before spending $1M? Why is Josiah sleeping with Lilah? He needs to be sleeping with Z & T, but they want their “alone” time. Barf. I predict they will move in the next 3 years. I think they’re starting to realize their house sits on a swampy lot next to a literal junkyard, and the bedroom situation is impractical. I swear, these two make the worst decisions when it comes to housing, their children’s medical issues and just parenting in general.

I really dislike every time Zach gleefully exclaims that he has a “dwarf tribe.” It rubs me the wrong way. Has he forgotten all the surgeries and shunt issues he’s had? Why would he want the possibility of major medical issues for his children? Jackson’s already had issues with his legs. Lilah has delayed speech, as well as eye problems. It just seems so smug and selfish when he brags about having a dwarf tribe, team of dwarves, dwarf posse, etc.

Jackson’s legs look even worse than before! Tori’s gold eyeshadow and fake eyelashes while she’s having a c-section…so cringey.

Does anyone remember that 80s film “The Money Pit” starring Tom Hanks and Shelly Long? This new house is giving me Money Pit vibes. Stinky carpets throughout, the appliances don’t work, needs a whole new water/septic system, a lot of yard work. All I’m seeing are dollar signs flying out the window. Normally I wouldn’t criticize someone who enjoys projects, but this is Jeremy we’re talking about. King of the half-assed, screwed up projects. We’ve seen him destroy the kitchen floors at the old house due to a leaky dishwasher. We’ve seen him demo their bathroom before realizing that all the supplies were on back-order. If I was Auj, I would be very leery of Jer attempting anything more complicated than changing a light bulb.

Stop broadcasting it to the world and clean that poor boy up! He’s literally marinating in his shit while she photographs it. There’s something seriously disturbing about this.

Are all Amy’s cooking shows as boring as the Tex Mex casserole one that I just watched? Actually, I only watched 4.5 minutes of the 35 minute video before getting bored and turning it off. I like Amy, but she seemed so awkward, nervous and unprepared. Just rambled on and repeated herself. I don’t think a cooking show for her is the way to go. The casserole sounded gross and very unhealthy. 6 tbsp butter, a cup of cream and a crapload of cheese. Instead of having all the ingredients and utensils handy, she’d walk off camera to get something she forgot. It’s like she was just winging it.

What does Leo do for a living? Did they graduate? At one point they wanted to be a doctor, and then decided on social work, then yoga instructor. Are they actually working, or living off IG shilling and Meri’s LLR MONEY? Does Audrey work? I’m honestly curious, not trying to sound sarcastic.

Leon, please, for the love of God, wash your hair. It looks like they comb their hair with a pork chop. I can’t imagine anyone hiring them looking like a hot, smelly, unbathed mess.

They’re on good enough terms to accept Christmas gifts and a riding mower.

I was expecting more from the new house. Instead, it’s located next to a business with a bunch of heavy equipment, a manufactured house on the other side, and the yard looks like an overgrown mess. But hey, it has a stream, a chicken coop and a random wooden platform leading nowhere! The house itself is….blah. The best thing I can say is that at least it’s all on one floor. I would not want Lilah’s bedroom next to the front door. I understand that no upper kitchen cabinets is good for Zach, but I would hate that. They’re losing out on so much storage! Why did they move so suddenly? They should’ve painted the rooms at the new house before moving in. On the tour they gave Amy and Chris, it all just looked so depressing and beige. They don’t work, so they had plenty of time to unpack, and at the very least MAKE THEIR BED!!