NinjaPenguins

I don’t get it. The fallout from the baby switch could have sprouted so many interesting storylines, but Bell chooses the worst possible one: a custody fight between a psycho and the object of his obsession. Who sits there and thinks “hmmm, after this long, dreary, depressing dead baby story, I’ll cleanse the viewer’s palate with a fight over a little boy, complete with scenes of his crazy father being verbally and emotionally abusive?” That’s a rhetorical question, as it is painfully clear that Bell is unaware of his limitations. Ridge and Steffy have inappropriate chemistry. I don’t care how many sex partners these characters have as long as the sex is between consenting adults. Eat shit, Thomas.

Well, Goddard, it’s been... you know what? Bye.

Basically... when characters have to behave in alien, profoundly stupid ways to manufacture conflict and force the plot along, the writing is obviously shit. There’s no reason at all not to have Steffy, Liam, and Hope sit down and figure out a plan. And for fuck’s sake, Beth and Kelly are sisters, so it’s not like there’s no reason to get together. Hope and Steffy can still have tension and snipe at each other (I’d prefer that they didn’t), but having Liam sneak around and be a dink to Hope when caught is frustrating because it’s only happening due to the writers not being creative enough. I’m only talking about the conclusion to the horrific, endless baby switch story. The happy ending that everyone tuned in to see... which quickly turned to manure. B&B got all those viewers and hasn’t given them a reason to stay. I’ve got one foot out the door myself. Y&R is dreadful tho. I’ll take Liam and Wyatt at their douchiest over Nick and Adam. And Billy. And Cane.

I can barely be arsed to comment on it. Like it’s so monotonously bad that I can’t really get angry enough to complain about the poor quality.

I just can’t believe Liam would take Beth to see Steffy on the sly. After everything he and Hope have gone through, after clearly being devoted to Hope all these months, he pulls a colossal blunder that only a man with the IQ of a sea cucumber would indulge in. And then he doubles down on it and has words coming out of his mouth that should be followed by all the taste being slapped out of his piehole. Either Liam’s head injuries have caused lasting damage or Brad Bell thinks his viewers are on the level of the aforementioned sea cucumbers. Nobody on this show learns a goddamned thing. They never grow. Nothing has changed since Beth was reunited with her parents. Everyone just settles back into the triangle formation. What a waste of a ratings goldmine.

Oh god, I had no idea. Rest in peace, valleycliffe. Just... sorry, there are no words.

I can’t believe Wyatt used to be my favorite. I fucking hate the sight of him now. The Triangle of Doom is back. Click. I guess Bell is really comfortable in that rut of unoriginality.

Nick’s political platform has allegedly been leaked to the press: Economic plan: a banana in every hammock. Removing the stigma from manspreading through a concerted education campaign, “Taming the Taint: What You Need to Know” Grunting will become Genoa City’s official language. One free back and buttocks shaving per year, available to everyone. Nick Newman does not discriminate. GC will host a yearly ChelseaCon to bring in the tourists. Get an autograph from Chelsea, listen to an eight hour speech about Connor’s deep, fascinating thoughts, and be given a voucher for a free Chelsea Original. For $1, attendees can karate chop a cardboard cutout of Adam Newman. Ka-ching! Pocket pool will become a varsity sport. All hail the Walnut Grove Carrot Cuffers and their mascot, a gorilla named Jergens. Enjoy corruption free public service; Nicholas Newman will never accept bribes - he throws his own poop and doesn’t cater to Big Feces. Vote Nick Newman: The only poll he cares about is his own. Poll, pole... when Nick’s in charge, people will be free to spell words however they want. Dont bee an eleetist dooshbagg.

Cane just needs a trip to the blood bank and he’ll be back to his dry, pale self in no time flat.

Well, Douglas should be with someone else. Brooke just has the wrong couple in mind. I’m glad Ridge got kicked to the curb, but jesus christ on toast points, even he cannot possibly be so dense. His density is purely plot driven to land him in Shawna’s bed, nothing more. He knows damn well his son is a horrid piece of shit and Brooke is right to not want him around after what he did to Hope and Liam. There is no way he doesn’t know this. Thomas has been a total piece of shit to him too. Industrial strength parental blinders can’t block out what an amoral turd in desperate need of real help Thomas is. Holy balls, people. And now I’m supposed to be entertained by his scheming against those horrid, slutty Logans? Yeah right. I might even be amused by Shawna’s infatuation with Ridge if it wasn’t tacked on to Choo-choo’s dark and dismal trainwreck of a story.

Perhaps when Choo choo attempts to blackmail his father, Ridge will realize what a despicable piece of shit his son is. Just kidding. Thomas could push him off a cliff, claim Brooke made him do it, and Ridge would be all “well, maybe...” from his hospital bed. I guess Bell is too edgy for the more traditional storytelling paradigms. The important and interesting fallout from this godawful baby switch is not Liam and Hope getting to be happy, Steffy dealing with the loss of Beth and her anger at Thomas, Justin realizing someone killed his niece, or Wyatt realizing what a moron and piss poor judge of character he is. That shit’s too easy for an artiste like Bell. Thankfully he’s focused on the real heart of the Beth saga: What’s the fastest way to redeem poor Flo and get her back in Wyatt’s bed and the Logan family’s good graces? How clever to use Katie to clean up Flo’s sins, because that should neutralize Bill, who logically should be on the fucking warpath. Bravo, Brad Bell, bravo. But wait! Who wants to be bored to death watching Hope and Liam reunite or Douglas being protected and loved by his family? Bell knows best and challenges us with scenes of Thomas abusing his young son and terrorizing Brooke in misogynistic fashion. If the challenge is to turn the show off in disgust, well, consider it accepted!

He gave Devon’s money to a rancid jar of mayo. JG can get fucked all the way to Pluto. I don’t particularly care if the story ends with Devon in possession of his billions and Cane having to use a pine box as his bed. This story is insulting, unnecessary, illogical, and a piss poor use of history and off-screen characters. Blech.

Eat all the shit, Wyatt. If an ex who trafficked my niece showed up at my door, I’d need to be firmly restrained and not from jumping their bones. You have to have something desperately wrong with you to even consider taking a baby thief back. Flo can give Katie all her organs, and it will never give Hope and Liam back the time they missed with Beth. Flo and Thomas and Shauna and Ridge... two perfect couples made up of four assholes who truly don’t get it. Make it happen, show.

I’m really not comfortable with show trying to take away Devon’s money. Or Hillary’s new bangs for that matter.

I believe Nikki and Victoria also both did things with Deacon? And not against a dumpster?

Having a lot of sex isn’t a character flaw. Good god, is Victor faking his death? I mean, really? And I suppose we’ll all be expected to applaud and express our amazement at his latest resurrection. Wow, he got one over on Adam. Chloe did too. Big fucking deal.

Both Jack and Sharon can do, and have done, a lot worse. I don’t care how many partners any character has had as long as it’s all consensual. Oh, and don’t dole out STD’s like our chipmunk friend.

Yeah, Joi, I think I was being too generous with Bell by assuming his terrible writing came from a place of abject ignorance of basic human behavior. He just embraces shitty behavior and finds it heroic. He is, apparently, congenitally unable to view Ridge’s and Choo-choo’s actions through the eyes of the audience. And yet I find this argument persuasive (and hilariously accurate!). I mean, it’s easy to see why people would assume Bell was raised by a disembodied computer voice in a sterile environment with no access to other humans. I was going to say he was raised by wolves, but I think wolves would model more relatable behavior than what I see on this show daily.

I’m just relieved we’re not getting Phack.

I want to inject Brooke reading Ridge for filth directly into my bloodstream. Wyatt is on some thin, thin ice. I have always been a fan, but you do not give an audience to the criminal who pretended to be Beth’s birth mother for 50 grand. That’s your niece, goddamnit. If someone had done that to my brother with my nieces or nephew, I’d be going scorched earth, not bringing a nice bottle of wine to their pity party. Thomas is already throwing a months long ‘poor me’ festival that Flo is welcome to attend. I’m not sure Bell actually understands who the injured parties are here. Or that Ridge’s next stop better be a trebuchet aimed at the sun.

I can’t believe I came back to this show. Or maybe I’m just not watching it through Brad Bell colored glasses. Hope, Liam, and Beth are the primary victims, right? Not Ridge and Thomas. Steffy is more of a victim than those two clowns, but I’m getting a daily dose of noxious Marone manpain. Ridge keeps asking Brooke, “What are you saying?” Is she speaking Mandarin, motherfucker? Your son is an obsessed creep and not welcome in Brooke’s home. God. You can’t honestly expect your wife to live with the douche who lied to her daughter about her not so dead baby. I hope Brooke finds out Thomas was going to roofie Hope and unleashes a giant bag of hell on his flat ass. I’m not particularly interested in Flo’s self-made pain either. If Wyatt even thinks about forgiving her, I don’t know, man. I’m glad Sally slowed his roll. I like them as a couple, but his sneaky business with Flo really soured me on Wyatt for a while. Flo didn’t tell your brother your niece was alive, buddy. That’s not forgivable. Seriously, it all went to hell so fast. Such piss poor writing, pacing, and plotting.

What in dog’s name am I watching? Is Brad Bell afraid of success? Did the jolt in ratings from the Hope/Beth reunion frighten him? I mean, he’s always been lacking when it comes to having his characters act like, you know, normal people with normal reactions to life. I don’t care about Thomas and his boo-boo and his pity party and his idiot father almost getting that his son is a sociopathic turd who needs to float in a prison toilet for a while. Grief over Caroline? Really? Get fucked, Thomas. I wish Brooke had dropped a piano on him after he landed. Please let Bill be about to launch an all out campaign of vengeance against Thomas with Justin’s help. Yeah right. Just give me my tickets to the Thomas Forrester Redemption Tour for Wayward, Entitled, Soulless Pricks and be done with it.

Honestly, does anyone think Thomas was there with Hope to do anything other than kidnap, assault, or maybe push her off the cliff when she refused to stay married to him? Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining, Bell.

Oh, Josh Griffith, no. Just... no.

Just because something bad happens to a bad person, that doesn’t suddenly transform them into a good person. I mean, according to everyone except Brad Bell. Thomas is a psychotic child-abusing shitbird who got his wings clipped by karma. The end.