StayingAfterSunday

I loved that doggie, too, and his little boots. Ryan took much better care of his dog than he did himself. This alone could have been used to the family and interventionist's advantage. When interventionist, Andrew Galloway, began his understandable - and predictable - pitch to Ryan persuading him to enter treatment, it seemed a futile endeavor, even when the usual heartstrings were pulled, including the most promising one: "Do it for your daughters." What would have sealed the deal on the spot would have been a simple, "Do it for your dog." No doubt Ryan would have dissolved into tears and agreed to treatment much more readily. I do not say this in a disrespectful or sarcastic way at all, nor am I undermining the love Ryan feels for his children; rather, I am being realistic. It is no secret that an addicted person often loses contact or custody of his (or her) children throughout periods of active addition, during which time a pet has remained steadfast and loyal, loving unconditionally and without judgment.

Or Robin.

I remember Dr. Pepper commenting on the fact that Tom was "educated" or something to that effect, so he may still have outstanding student loans.

My thought exactly. And you would think that Heather, who works as a flight attendant, would know that.

With respect to Heather's dislike for Derek. Yep, he is not what she had expected. I believe that it was curtains for him immediately after he said, "I really liked it when they said, "Mr. and Mrs. Schwartz." As much as I like Derek, I must admit that he falls a bit short on sex appeal. And, as I've stated before, feeling a physical attraction to her match seems to have been a requirement for Heather. I don't think she liked his candor (even when he was being sweet and nice), and I don't think she liked his voice, etc. etc. The "It" factor just wasn't there, and it wasn't coming- ever. Pardon the pun.

If I had to guess I'd put my bets on Heather having some sort of mood disorder; the way she just up and walked away from Derek during their cave expedition - when just moments earlier she appeared to be getting along with him just fine - was telling.

Does he show Florida time shares? That's what it appears to be. I won't disparage his occupation, but the properties he is showing don't seem to be in the same niche as those shown on Million-Dollar Listing. PS: I, too, wonder what Pepper meant by that remark.

It really drives me crazy to hear that last one (a preposition followed by first person pronoun or whatever it is!). You're right, also, about people thinking that it makes them sound more educated/erudite to say "between him and I," instead of the correct, "between him and me." I know. The topic is OFF-topic, I guess, and I'm guilty. I also need to get a life.

I agree with you that Heather is not classier than Derek. A classy person makes an effort not to offend others, demonstrating "The Golden Rule" even when he or she doesn't feel like doing so. Heather doesn't care whether she offends. She does what she wants and caves in to her own moods, as depicted in the "cave" scene with Derek on last night's episode. The only times she expends any true effort are the times when she is trying to construct plausible reasons (excuses) for her rudeness towards Derek. Heather will always direct her energies at dismissing her own faults and highlighting the other person's shortcomings. Case in point: The now infamous "weed" issue. Heather sat there pompously pointing out Derek's aggregious breach of good behavior while she freely imbibed alcohol. I think she did this to divert the attention from her own failing. Once again, the scapegoating method is in play. Surely not a "class act." Derek, on the other hand, is very articulate and expresses his thoughts (and feelings) extremely well; better yet, he's speaking truthfully - from his heart. So far, just about everything he's said about Heather's attitudes and behavior towards him have made perfect sense and have not been twisted or manipulated. I can't believe anyone could listen to him and not feel empathy. I feel as you do, Kat12379, i.e. that Derek feels hurt by Heather's actions. I sincerely feel sorry for him, as he got the short end of the straw in this "experiment" (I hate that word ).

About Sonia and Nick: Maybe I'm weird, but Sonia reminds me a little bit of Nick's mother. Her personality, the way she talks, even her stature (his mother was not very tall, nor is Sonia). This is another reason why I believe Nick and she will be make it and not divorce (not right away anyway). He has said he was very close to his mother and he does seem very comfortable with Sonia. The sex part will happen, as I'm sure by now it has!

Agreed re: Derek not being the first BUDdie. I thought Tres and Vanessa of Season 3 seemed to be a member of the club, too.

The wedding photographer was most definitely instructing both of them how to pose. If by "camera man" Jamie was referring to the wedding photographer then she is right; he was most definitely instructing the couple how to pose, and seemed to promote the PDA. I'm thinking Nick probably specified on his application that he preferred a curvy, "busty" woman. Whatever happened to the camera adding ten pounds? Or does that not hold true these days? Because, if so, I do not exactly see Sonia as a girl with a weight problem, but I do see her as someone who will need to watch her weight as she grows older. She doesn't appear to be very tall, and she is not a naturally thin type of girl. Then again, what do we know of Nick with respect to weight? We see him as fit and good looking, however, I wonder if his weight fluctuates or if he has a tendency to gain weight. He and she both said that Nick has a penchant for eating sweets in the middle of the night, not that this alone is enough to base any assumption on his weight.

I, too, think Nick is straight.

Tom clarified his original comment very well when he explained that he is a "minimalist" who doesn't require a lot of material acquisitions to be content. He said, in so many words, that he values people more than things, and is drawn towards people of like mind. He is not attracted to those who value others based on what they own or how much money they make. I'm paraphrasing, obviously, but this was the gist of his explanation. It seemed to satisfy Lily at the time.

24 is young, but not that young if a girl meets the guy she feels is "the one." Tom is 28 which, to some, may feel is young for a guy in this situation. In any case, I agree that all three guys are nice looking. As for the women, they are all attractive, as well, even Heather when she has her make up on and the dour expression is gone. Her complexion is beautiful, too. Lillian's exuberant personality is a plus. And Sonia's expressive eyes....

Yep, definitely, to that last paragraph! I re-watched the experts discussing their choices and their reasons for each particular match. When they were discussing Heather it was mentioned that she'd listed sex as something that was VERY important to her -- evidently, she had listed this (and sexual chemistry, of course, with her match) as something that was vitally necessary. I didn't hear what the experts said about Derek, but I imagine he listed this as a top concern, as well. It just goes to show you that sex can be number one on anyone's list, but true sexual satisfaction in marriage should be acquired via some sort of physical chemistry. I don't believe all people who get married have this idealized version of sex, but this is obviously what Heather was seeking. She didn't get it with Derek.

I wonder if Heather and Vaughn would have made a good match. Don't know why Vaughn's image popped into my head as someone who might be compatible with Heather, but I could see it, in some odd way.

From what we're seeing on the show so far, there are not too many clouds of doom overhead just yet, are there? The only thing I can think of that gives a less-than-auspicious clue into T and L's future success as a couple would be the preview clip shown of Lily saying how hard she tries, but it's just not good enough for Tom. Maybe I'm missing something....

A big "yes" to all of what Jassie99 said. As for Heather: I think the tattoes might be all that she finds acceptable about Derek, unfortunately. About that dress she picked for her wedding to a stranger: I found that perplexing as hell. The ultra-low cleavage seemed inappropriate, especially in light of her icy demeanor once she met her "match." In hindsight, it almost seems as though the dress was sadistic, considering her response to her new groom.

With all the talk about getting high on weed: Derek and Heather honeymooned in Puerto Rico. Is it that easy to score weed on the beach in PR? And, if such an effort is not successful can we assume Derek had the balls to board a plane (with a flight attendant wife, no less) carrying weed in his baggage or on his person? I mean, the weed theory first needs a foundation that includes answers to those questions first, I would think. Unless, as someone else pointed out, he has a permit to carry medical marijuana, in which case something of this nature would have been included on his application, and Heather would never have become his match. About Tom: I am impressed (I think) with Tom's treatment of Lily and, presumably, women in general. For having been raised without a father beginning at the age of 13 he seems to display the behavior of a true gentleman (I won't hold the Lexus remark against him because, as Bliss points out in the above post, this could have been a calculated remark -- quite the opposite of something stated out of callous disregard for the other person). I really, really like Tom and I hope it works for him and Lily. Back to the Heather/Derek quandry again: I felt relieved to hear Derek expose her for her alcoholic-like behavior. She asked for it. From the looks of it, Heather is asking for nothing but battles. JackSampson had posted in the Spoilers section something about Heather's deal breakers and her tendency to go for men who just happen to possess many of those very traits. Here's my conclusion about Heather: The narratives want viewers to believe that Heather - and all of these people who end up on the show - are truly ready to get married. That after too many disappointing/failed relationships they are finally ready for someone who will be committed. Not just to love, per se, but to them. To marriage. Can we assume from such a description that the people selected are now at a stage where the stars in their eyes have dimmed a bit, and their dreamy anticipation for the storybook prince or princess has been replaced by the desire for a dependable, loyal person whom - if given the chance - may earn their love in time? If the MAFS participants want marriage, as we are led to believe (or as they seem to want to believe), they may have to shelve those idealistic notions they once had and make compromises, not just with a spouse but within themselves, as well. Heather is one example of a person who thinks she wants marriage but she really wants marriage on her terms, which is to say she wants LOVE and the romantic dream she has probably harbored all of her life. Maturity and practicality go hand in hand. Once you grow up you realize the dream of "true love and rainbows, flowers and magic stardust" may not happen, and that if it really is MARRIAGE you want, you need to look for a good, solid person who can work with you, not against you. In the end marriage usually ends up very much like a partnership. If heart-throbbing love comes with the deal, all the better, but sometimes love comes later, and it's a truer, finer type of love, one based on respect, positivity and compromise. Heather seems stuck in a childlike pattern of anger and self sabbotage. For her sake I hope she grows up a bit and learns to look within herself before looking for a husband.

I think these two are going to make it. Since Sonia is employed as a social worker, I would imagine that at least two of her strengths are compassion and patience. With time, I believe she will begin to find it easier and easier to "dial in" to Nick's quirky ways of communicating - or lack thereof. Speaking of Nick, I find him to be hilarious in his own way. I don't recall the following conversation verbatim (maybe someone else does), but, here's one example of why I think he's a real "card," although he doesn't realize the way he's coming off to others: Upon being asked by the bridal party (Sonia's bridesmaids) what he thought of Sonia, he quickly says, "I love her," which he then, after a scintilla of awkward hesitation, downgrades to, "well, maybe I don't love her yet," before settling on an abridged version of his original "I love you" statement: "I guess I could love her." During the honeymoon bed scene Sonia becomes frustrated and confused by Nick's comment about it only being "five days," without further explanation. If I had to guess I'd say Nick was thinking out loud about the consummation aspect of the honeymoon, and in his awkwardness he was trying to sort out whether the time was right, how to proceed, whether Sonia would be receptive to his advances, etc. etc. For Nick, expressing these sexual concerns out loud would be akin to giving a public speech with no clothes on. He is clearly the very opposite of the other two grooms (Derek and Tom), both of whom have no trouble at all articulating what's on their minds. Yes, he did look good in that swimsuit, and Sonia seemed to think so, too. I think he finds her very attractive also, the top half particulary.

I may be an exception, but I think Jamie is doing a great job of interviewing the various people on this show. She is pretty, animated, and personable. She also seems to ask pertinent questions. She was a good choice for the job.

Since the Derek and Heather pairing has come up so much, it got me thinking. First off, I do not see those two as a promising match at all and, for that matter, don't find either one of them very attractive, physically or otherwise. As we've seen from past seasons of this show, the sheer number of applicants sometimes leads to the chosen few being picked for reasons other than suitability. With that in mind, I wondered if Derek is related to Dr. Pepper Schwartz or to one of her ex-husbands (not sure if Schwartz is her maiden name or the name of one of her two ex-husbands). I am aware, of course, that Schwartz is not exactly a rare or unusual surname. ---apologies to the moderators if this question has already come up on the forum.

What a great post, Jack Sampson. So simply stated, yet very true, not only with respect to Heather, but prevalent in many dysfunctional relationships. People claim to not want certain character traits in a mate, but are compelled, nonetheless, to seek out people who have those traits. Why? I imagine it is a pattern of behavior that is deeply ingrained in certain people, one that has its beginnings in childhood; for example, having a parent who has the "deal-breaker" traits so often results in people being drawn to others who possess the same, or similar, undesirable traits.

Vinny was embarrassing to watch. Are the producers that hard up for participants that they would put a jackass like Vinny on the show? He was weird, and not funny in the least; he came across as someone who had serious mental problems. Insane. That's the word. Ugh! I liked the two main characters from last season and I like the guy this season, but not the girl. Based on the previews they showed, there are more oddballs to come. Besides David and Natalie, didn't any semi-normal people audition for the show? This surprises me, considering all of the attention seekers out there. I guess "naked" is the point where even fame whores draw the line.