cereality

In contrast to the Duggars, the Kellers -- who aren't nearly as well off -- sprang for food at Josh and Anna's wedding. I don't think it was fancy, but I remember Josh saying that it was made by the church ladies and I distinctly remember the cameras panning over things like chicken salad sandwiches. I only remember because I thought that was odd for a wedding, but honestly compared to the Duggars' limited dessert reception at the church followed by a potluck at home, at least it was real food in addition to cake which I'm sure held everyone over as they made their long drives back to Tennessee or wherever. And unless it just wasn't shown, it seemed like the Kellers did one reception -- none of this A list or B list stuff re who got an invite home. There may not have been as many gawkers at Josh and Anna's wedding, and given that the Kellers live in a manufactured home, they may not have had an option of bringing their closest friends home for a separate reception so I guess they decided to feed and socialize with everyone there at the same time.

I don't really have a problem with a lack of a sit down meal at the "reception," as the church parking lot reception was NOT the real one. My view is that the wedding was an open invite to whoever wanted to come gawk, and then the true reception was the "closed" invite for 300 or so. The Duggars were merely feeding those who came to the church as a courtesy but did not have to. BUT I think the problem here is that of that 1000 at the church, a few hundred were volunteers. They had been slogging away since that morning (or before) and I think it's unkind to take someone's free labor from 8 am to 3 pm (as well as a wedding gift probably) without offering them food besides cake/cookies/candy/sugar. They must have been tired from being on their feet for hours, and it wouldn't have killed the Duggars to make the church "reception" food a bit better merely as a thank you to those few hundred volunteers. Now of course if you want better food for the 200 volunteers, there's no way you can deny it to the other 800 -- but it still didn't have to be a meal. Some cheese and crackers and veggie trays and bread sticks to balance out the sugar, sugar and more sugar would have been nice. Did Derick and Jill go back to the reception at the house or did they just show their face at the church reception, cut the cake, and then leave to get it on? As for the reception at the house, these are supposedly the Duggars' "friends" that they fellowship with -- not an open invite. There is NO excuse to not feed them a proper meal. If the wedding ended around 3 pm, these people went back to the house and dinner hour was quickly approaching. If they actually made it pot luck, that is beyond cheap. I mean these people have traveled (like the Bates, Paines etc.) and many of the women have volunteered at the wedding, bought a wedding gift, and now they have to bring a dish as well?? JB could have had hot food catered for that one -- even BBQ fare (though Cathy just did that the night before); even spaghetti, salad and bread would have hit the spot at that point. To the poster who said they've never been to a wedding where the bride and groom don't care about their attendance -- it happens and it sucks. You actually see it all the time in my culture (Indian) where people insist on throwing 500 person weddings. The food is beyond plentiful, but the reality is the bride and groom don't know or care about 500 people. Often the people invited are attenuated from the couple as that's how it was done in the old country -- the parents' colleagues or parents' old college friends and their families etc; some of these people have never even met the bride and groom or maybe saw one of them once as a baby. You definitely feel like it doesn't matter to the couple whether you attended or you sent your next door neighbor as long as the seat was full and the party thus looked big. Did Derick get any time with his family on his last day as a single man? It seemed like Jill was with him THE WHOLE TIME. He was with his brother in the groom's room, but then JD, Justin etc. were there too. And then when his mom arrived, Jill was with him. I know in most families the groom's parents will get a few minutes with him after he's dressed, before pictures etc. to exchange a few words or just spend some time just as a nuclear family. Cathy obviously wasn't able to be there until the last minute, and then we she got there -- it seemed like Jill jumped in on that time and Dan was no where to be seen in that room.

I know everyone is liking Dan -- but didn't it seem like he had NOTHING to say -- hence the sarcastic "we've been brothers for 23 yrs now." And the story about how he met Jill first. It seemed like he had nothing to say about the couple probably because he hasn't interacted much with them and certainly not without a chaperone trailing behind. It was sweet and sad to see him speaking on behalf of their mother and father. You can see how stressed out they both are about their mom and still sad about their dad of course.

Why was Jackson even allowed to pester Derick like that? The groom's suite should have just been for Derick and his groomsmen, not any guy who wanted to walk in like that. Even if you're 100% ready to get married, there are some jitters -- sometimes just logistics but for Derick also his mom etc. -- did he really need a 10 yr old in his face telling him he was nervous or his hands are shaking and asking about the kiss? If you want to deliver notes back and forth to each other like 7th graders and Jackson is the runner, fine, otherwise Jackson's buddy should have been keeping him out of there and allowing Derick some quiet and privacy. Derick is too nice to tell him to be quiet, so someone else should have. And who sends notes back and forth to each other like that?? They spent the whole damn day together apart from whatever time it took to get ready and during that hour or two they needed to send multiple notes, knowing the first look was like 90 min away?? I know some couples will send each other a card or a gift that's written out in advance and I find that sweet. Usually it's couples who are agreeing not to see each other from after the rehearsal dinner until the first look/walk down the aisle. And even then it's one card, not messages back and forth that could be texted to each other. These two seem a little too stuck in 7th grade.

As for JB walking up there to say the couple may kiss -- it's the fundie obsession with giving guys "permission" when it comes to daughters. At Zach and Whitney's wedding -- Whitney's dad who I think isn't even fundie -- kissed her FIRST and made Zach wait! At Chad and Erin's, the minister announced to the whole congregation -- just in case they didn't feel awkward enough -- that it was their first kiss, and many men in the congregation -- including the father of the bride -- yelled out "amen," as if a prayer or blessing had just been delivered. If you don't want to kiss pre-marriage, that's your business but there are better ways to handle it. I knew a few ultra orthodox Jews who did not kiss pre-marriage (very old school arranged marriages), guess what -- they also didn't kiss at the altar. Obviously they were allowed to, but having never kissed before they didn't want to embarrass themselves or their guests. So when the rabbi declared them married, they hugged, walked back down the aisle like normal people, went outside/to a separate room and shared a kiss there without everyone watching. I guess that's way too understated for these people though.

For a family that is normally self involved, it was nice to hear about Josh and Jana talk about Derick's mom, more than once. Jana said that she was so relieved that his mom was there -- and she really looked like she made it. Josh was also pretty nice in saying how hard it must be for Derick to have such happiness and such fear/sadness re his mom collide like that. If the reception was an open invite and those 1000 people just got popcorn and sheet cake, I'm hoping the private party at home was a bit different. Seemed like that party included the "friends" that they fellowship with on occasion -- Bates; Bontragers; Wallers/Kellers etc. It would have been nice if JB could have catered something for that because at this point all your guests have eaten all day long is sugar -- cake, root beer floats, cookies etc. Even Jill said she was sugared up at the reception. It would have been nice to have some substantial food at the house. Though knowing them, they probably made Jana throw some Stouffers lasagnas in the oven; though I guess if someone hasn't eaten in hours -- even that is better than another cookie. In contrast, the rehearsal dinner was handled nicely; casual fare but it seemed like BBQ and all the fixings. I'm guessing that was Cathy's decision. As for Derick's stepdad -- he may not have a very big role in Derick's life. I'm sure he respects Derick and Dan as Cathy's sons, but Derick was 18-19 when his dad died and somewhere within the next 6 yrs his mom remarried; he likely wasn't living in his mom's house much when she did re-marry as he was at college and then Nepal. They may just not know each other that well, and he may not want to act like Derick's step father -- esp given that Derick and Dan both seemed close to their own dad. He may have just viewed himself as Cathy's guest at this $hitshow. Plus I'm guessing he's Cathy's primary caregiver and they JUST left the hospital. It's quite possible that he was terrified that something would go wrong or even that she would be exhausted that night or catch a cold -- and he is the one who would have to "deal" while Derick would be off on his honeymoon. He may have wanted to keep this as short as possible -- come watch the vows, maybe watch them cut the cake and that's it. Did anyone catch Derick saying something about the "real ceremony"? It was when they were talking to Derick and Jill outside the auditorium after Michelle had gone through the whole -- to the groomsmen stand next to the bridesmaids or all the guys on one side -- thing. Derick said something about how the "real ceremony" matters more, no matter what happens here. I have no idea what he was talking about. Maybe he simply meant the ceremony/religious part is important, not all the other stuff. But did they do the vows privately earlier or later and then do this for the 1000 guests and TLC? Frankly it would have been nice if they had done the vows just for family (meaning parents -- not the 100 siblings) -- just a minister with Cathy and stepdad; JB and Michelle; Dan and Jana and the couple. Cathy could have viewed the real ceremony and been done with it without being exposed to 1000s in an auditorium including a dozen young kids who were right in front of her.

That was hysterical -- the lack of respect he shows Ben. Ben did not seem amused. Why can't the men in this family do anything for themselves? Jill had to shave Derick's beard and Jessa was tying his tie asking if it should be extra long? Who does that? Then they cut to a shot of Ben's tie being messed up or too short or something and JB drags him by the tie to one of the girls to fix it. Then there's a shot of Jessa doing Jer or Jed's hair. WTH!? They've got to be what 15 or 17 by now? What teenage boy would let his sister do his hair for him?? And can't the grown men that are about to get married tie their own ties??

Why is everyone sprinting back down the aisle -- WTH!?

Cousin Amy was shown for one brief second -- hugged Jill when she came out with her dress on and her sisters/mom were staring at her. The Seewalds are sitting behind the Duggars at the wedding. The Bates are in attendance -- Erin at the piano, Chad was one of the photographers for the first look, and Gil and Kelly were shown for one second at the rehearsal. Joy and Jana were really teary during the ceremony, esp Joy.

I was thinking the same thing. Maybe this is just the start for them. Maybe NYC becomes a yearly tradition for them and they'll check out all the various shows over the years. It's possible he started with Cinderella due to ticket prices and because both of them kind of know the story. They may work their way up from there to Les Mis and whatever else over the years. Obviously Derick doesn't have a problem with dancing and music -- I mean he was his school's mascot so he was exposed to the band and cheerleaders at every practice and game. So I highly doubt he will say "oh no -- can't take my wife to that show, there are heathens dancing in that one." All of Broadway has music and dancing -- if they were SO morally opposed, they wouldn't even have gone to Cinderella. And I think Jill will not mind having her world opened up a bit. I'm not suggesting she'll suddenly be ok hitting a nightclub or dancing with her husband, but I think she will be ok watching such shows -- appreciating the music and dance and costumes and lighting etc. from a distance. As much as she is fundie, I think she can be open minded and esp. when it comes to things Derick wants to do; she has shown more than once now that she'll eat Nepali food or hummus or whatever without turning up her nose because he likes it and she's willing to try it and decide she's ok with it too. I think it'll be the same for lots of other activities -- Broadway being just one example.

I think once the baby is born a few things will happen. Jill will complain a LOT about how it's SO unfair that he's gone 40 hrs a week (plus his minimal commute time). She has already said that it's not "acceptable" that he's gone that much now and they "disagree" on that point. That complaining will just continue after kid nos. 1, 2, 3 etc. She has never seen her dad or brothers go off to work for a 40 hr week job. She's always lived in a family where people come and go as they please all day long, and she will think it's "unfair" that WMT pulls him away for so many hours. While Josh is working 40 hrs a week now, she's not in DC to witness that and when Josh and Anna married -- he worked at a car dealership which pretty much opened on Duggar time and then a few hours after opening when Anna got "bored" or "overwhelmed" at home, she could just show up with the kids and hang out in the back room. I bet Jill will think that's the type of flexible job Derick should have. With enough complaining from Jill and Derick's propensity to listen to JB (bc I'm sure Jill will tell JB to work on him), I could see Derick switching over to a created role with JB's "company," maybe doing some bookkeeping re the rental properties and spending the rest of his time seeking out and preparing for speaking opportunities -- whether it's people or churches in the south willing to host them or fundie conferences or whatever. Derick may feel uneasy leaving Walmart, but I think he will leave thinking -- if this doesn't work out, I can always get a regular job again; my college degree isn't going anywhere, and now lots of people in Ark. know my name bc of the Duggars. I'm not suggesting that he could necessarily get back with Walmart, but if cash were to get tight or the media train were to die down, I still think he'd be ok because I have a feeling that MANY people all over Arkansas watch or at least know of the Duggars. Having married into that and been featured all over the show, he's no longer just some 25 yr old college grad with a yr's work experience; he now has that "interest" factor which would lead a small/medium sized company to call him in for an interview if he were to apply just because they'd be flattered by his interest in them.

Good to see Jill broadening her horizons. She just posted on IG that last night was a date night for her and Derick in Queens (NYC) at a Nepali/Tibetian restaurant. Good for her. Derick lived on Nepali fare for like 2 yrs and I doubt he can get it anywhere near Arkansas, so nice that they took advantage of that while in NYC. It was good to see that she was willing to go rather than turning up her nose like many/most of her siblings would and insisting that they just get pizza, burgers, steak and potatoes etc. If these two can get a little separation from JB and Michelle, they can carve out a nice fundie-lite type of life for themselves -- much like Josh and Anna have in DC though probably even more "wordly" since Derick has a college education, lived abroad etc. I'm sure Derick doesn't want to leave his mom and brother, but once his mom is fully recovered, if I were Derick, I'd be looking to see if there were accounting opportunities that could bring me to NYC or DC.

In that episode where they show Jason (I think?) falling into the orchestra pit and a bunch of family members jump down there and Jason credits Jill with telling him not to move, stay calm etc. -- is Michelle in the pit filming it/taking pics of him?? You can see her holding up an iphone the way you hold it up to take pictures. If so -- why? The TLC cameras were there and surely they could have (and did) zoom in to capture the whole thing. Or was she holding it up for the light -- as the pit was pretty dark and people often use the phone screen or the "flashlight" in the front for light. It's sad that JB and Michelle have done nothing to foster the kids' relationships with any aunts, uncles or cousins -- likely bc they are not fundie and JB and Michelle don't want to be giving the kids ideas that it's ok to stray. I wish their view was more like Kody Brown (that polyg family on TLC); they openly say -- this is the life we chose and we want our kids to choose it, IF they want it. One of the moms has even said, she just wants her kids to have faith -- it doesn't matter if it is the same faith as hers. It's setting up a decent structure for their kids, so that they know that if they choose not to go polygamist, they will not be shunned from their own family AND they will have aunts/uncles they can look up to who are a different faith and in normal monogamous marriages with 2-3 kids. With the Duggars it's so "my way or the highway," that the "kids" -- even the ones in their 20s -- have no way of escaping and choosing a different road like college, a career, a job etc. bc they aren't sure whether they have the skills to make it on their own but they know that if they don't make it, they're pretty much out of luck when it comes to any emotional support from their family. Sad.

We don't know that he's taking too much time off, but it looks like it could be headed that way. Yeah -- he's not a store clerk but rather a white collar employee in the Tax department, however I highly doubt he's management. It's his first 9 months in a professional job. So he's been hired at the level that you'd hire any college grad. Maybe that comes with 2-3 weeks of vacation time -- 15 days just isn't that much. I'm sure he took a week for his honeymoon, maybe another 1-2 days like the day before the wedding; maybe took Friday off to be in NYC. Ok -- so 8 days off isn't too much. But I just don't believe that every single interview, People and TLC obligation is ALWAYS done off hours. Maybe some of it is that way, but I can see nothing of Jill or JB saying -- oh we'll schedule it for 3 pm because that's the latest People wants to do this, just take 2 hrs off -- what's the big deal. Taking a few hours off here and there for media and I'm sure for Jill's doctors appointments also adds up. I'm sure he is diligent and is keeping track to make sure he doesn't go over his allotted 15 days off BUT when you're a junior white collar employee, perception matters. You really don't want to be the person who is saying to their manager every few weeks -- oh I need half day off this Thursday and a full day the next Friday and then 2 hours the following Tuesday. It's just about perception that you have better things to be doing.

Jobs aren't as protected as people like to think. I'm a lawyer -- though by no means an employment expert -- and I feel like people take these leave times expecting that they CANNOT be touched. Yes -- your job is protected while you're out. However, it does happen that the next time that there's a bit of housecleaning -- that person who took the FMLA a yr ago is out the door. Now I'm not suggesting that all employers are like that. Many/most do understand why a young dad might need FMLA -- maybe the wife had a c section/health problems; the baby has issues; they have no family around etc. and there was just no choice. BUT in Derick's case, I'd be careful of taking FMLA and then using that time doing People magazine interviews and photo spreads, TLC stuff, doing appearances at churches and Christian radio interviews and all the other stuff they've been doing. That kind of time off is to take care of your family, and I'm fairly sure that being on a press tour isn't the purpose. All it would take would be for 1-2 of his peer level colleagues to get a bit pissed off that their workload is up bc Derick is out for 3 months -- oh but did you see him on GMA this morning; a little bit of bitching happens in front of a supervisor and suddenly management is aware and starting to set a perception that this guy isn't "serious" about a future with Walmart and has other "interests." Let's be honest Arkansas isn't Manhattan where Fortune 500s are a dime a dozen. There are tons of people in Arkansas who'd love to get into a corporate role with Walmart -- they don't need a kid who can't decide whether his professional career is more important or whether TLC/People/his inlaws demands are more important. Again being a long time Walmart exec, I'd hope Cathy would sit him down and lay it out for him pretty clearly -- yeah JB and Jill are great and it's awesome that they're involving you in all this cool TV stuff BUT the TV deals may not last (look at Kate Gosselin) and for that reason he better put his career first and view TV as an "extra," not vice versa.

Someone (maybe someone here?) actually commented on Derick's instagram asking if Cinderella reminds him of Jana? I wonder if he gets it or if he is thinking -- well I guess they're both blonde . . . . I'm sure it's been asked before but how is Derick getting all this time off? He's a fairly junior level employee who just started 9 months ago, so it's not like he has months of accrued vacation time. Yet he has time to be in NYC? Time to be doing interviews and playing games with People? I don't get it. Don't most young dads save every single day leading up to their child's birth -- so they can take time off for dr's appointments in case of complication and also right after the baby comes? I realize some places have paternity leave now, but it really is only a few weeks max at the most generous employers and Walmart is not known to be generous with benefits so who knows if they even have it. Why is People so in love with them? On one of the segments the host was SO trying to make them sound normal and mainstream and said something like "every single one of my friends is online dating right now." Um -- dude it's a bit different if you meet on match and then go on dates for months, hold hands, kiss, meet each others' families, maybe have sex and THEN decide to get engage or not. In this case in under 12 months they've gone from meeting to like 3-4 months pregnant. Then the host asks "what are the most important questions to ask when online dating," and they both spout off about values, life goals, Godliness etc. and the host -- realizing this is for a secular audience laughs it off saying -- and what snack they like to eat at the movies, it's important for me to know that about my dates. I get it the Duggars have a different view on dating -- it is about finding the ONE and if the life goals/religious goals match, then what food or activities you like don't matter. Fine. But that isn't exactly the audience that's reading People -- they are more about dating to have fun, go places, and then see if there is enough commonality to marry or not.

Chances are Derick had no idea who he was looking for. Derick reached out to JB as a prayer partner and possibly to be brought into the fundie fold when he returned. It was JB that said to him "hey you should meet one of my daughters" -- it sounds like JB picked which one to introduce and he went with Jill. It's not the same story as Ben who showed up at their home church looking to meet a girl, then decided Jessa was the one who caught his eye the most, then went to talk to Jessa who referred him to JB for interrogation and screening.

I know JB says that he's checking the guy out up until he says "I do," but that's BS right? I feel like at some point -- the constant "chaperoning" and "testing the Godlyness/motives etc. of the future son in law" should stop, and presumably it's after you've given your blessing, he has asked the question, and she has said yes. At that point the wedding is happening whether you like it or not. So I don't get the point THEN of counseling the couple and interrogating as to whether he'd have credit cards -- what if he says yes, is the wedding off? When he was walking through the house and showing them the bedroom and making some comment about how he couldn't wait for the call that said they're pregnant, I would have LOVED for Derick -- conservative as he is to laugh and say "nah -- our first kid is going to be conceived in a moment of passion probably in the kitchen or the living room or something." Seriously what would JB have done -- called off the wedding? I feel like those little assertions from Derick would at least show JB that Derick is the man in that marriage and does not need JB's two cents on everything. Also -- not sure where the Josie v. Will Klein comparisons are coming from. Will is a few months younger than Josie -- though not sure if 2-3 months is a big deal -- and was raised in a Chinese orphanage for the first 3 yrs of his life. I'm sure he didn't have access to anything but the most basic medical care, if that. He does have hearing issues, which I think his parents have addressed, and he's in a slew of therapies. And he comes from a non English speaking country -- so if his English isn't clear, it very well could be because it's not his first language. The point is -- having had a rough start to his life, Will's parents are doing everything they can to get him the medical care and therapy he needs bc they likely realize that if he is going to catch up -- it's now or never; it's not like they can wait until he's 8 yrs old and then start. The Duggars OTOH are sort of denying Josie's issues. Maybe she has therapy and they just don't want to say -- which is ok. But it's equally likely to me that is that they are in denial publicly and privately saying "God will take care of this." I feel like that's what these fundies do. Not to mention, I think things like speech therapy are expensive -- insurance doesn't necessarily cover ever single cost. While they have the money, I can see JB thinking it's a waste and that they can just help her at home and pray; while his other daughters are able to raise the kids, they are not drs or therapists and aren't trained to give her the one on one care she needs.

Boy. And in typical Duggar fashion Derick said "what's NEAT about having a first born son is that you can teach him everything you know and raise him up to be a man." I'm sure he himself meant nothing by it, but knowing the Duggars they are already thinking about the kind of man this fetus will be and praying for his future wife and dozens of kids. I'm happy for Derick that it's a boy though. I know it doesn't replace what he's lost in his dad, but he will be able to share a lot of things with his son that his dad likely did with him.

There was something in the way Derick was speaking about his family that did make him seem a bit vulnerable. I don't blame him -- who wouldn't be. He lost his dad as a frosh in college in a very sudden way -- that means he was like 18-19. Boys are still growing into the men they become at that age; he didn't have his dad around to talk about college classes, careers, whether to go on a mission, dating, marriage etc. And I assume by the time he was doing the interviews for the show, his mom was already sick; so now he's worrying about his only other parent, and at the end of the day he is ONLY 25. I know in Duggar years that is old man/old maid status if you aren't married with 3 kids of your own by then, but for most regular people in the US that's only 3 yrs out of college. Most are still figuring out what kind of jobs/professions they want long term, some are in med/law school, some are contemplating applying to grad school etc. Without even realizing it, he probably was looking for a male role model who could guide him in a positive way. He even said -- I knew he had daughters but I didn't really know when I contacted him. Here JB sees a Godly young man with a college degree and immediately starts thinking "which of my daughters can I marry off to get them off my payroll and to keep the TLC ship sailing." He didn't even think about -- this guy lost his dad, finished college, went to Nepal for 2 yrs and is just now coming back to his first professional job. That is a LOT of change for someone; maybe it's time for him to have a girlfriend but marriage and fatherhood may not be another change he needs right this second. Nope -- Duggar courting rules cannot be broken, so he couldn't have just introduced Jill and Derick and let them date and get to know each other slowly over time -- he had to seal the deal asap.

Of course Derick isn't nervous about the first kiss -- he's done it before and knows he won't miss as long as Jill doesn't flinch. Anna was pretty honest saying -- don't embarrass others at the wedding, keep the kiss short and sweet, which is pretty much the opposite of what Josh did IIRC. Kind of gross to ask the family what the couple is looking forward to most and have JB say "well . . . how do I say this." We know -- married people have sex. For someone who is SO religious, I can't believe these people are ok with thinking about their "baby daughter" having sex. Joy Anna handled it well simply saying "the honeymoon," and you can tell Grandma thinks the whole courting and chaperone thing is totally ridiculous as she was very honest in saying -- they just want to be alone, talk alone, the honeymoon etc. And while many people have a bridal shower at work, most people I know have considered it an "obligation" as their coworkers have wanted to throw it for them and there isn't a nice way to say no esp. if you like your coworkers and it's a friendly office. But I feel kind of sad for Jill that this is her only shower -- no high school or college friends or work girlfriends (those people you met at work but they became your friends outside of work away from your bosses/clients) who can throw her a separate more fun shower or even take her out to a dinner or brunch or something in addition to the work shower thrust upon her.

Ridiculous episode re-capping the airport hug and the engagement -- which we JUST saw. Derick's family and upbringing is SO normal. His mom seemed ok with the wedding -- not super thrilled but ok; his brother on the other hand could not seem any less enthused. He thought it was "interesting" that Jill was going to Nepal to see him. I don't know how close the brothers are or how close they will be going forward, especially since he doesn't seem to love Derick's new inlaws. I'm not sure if he doesn't like Jill or thinks the whole situation was bizarre. Whereas his mom doesn't seem to mind Jill, though you can tell doesn't like that her son is marrying into Duggar madness; but she probably has been around the block long enough to know that if she doesn't make nice with her son's wife, she won't be seeing him and his kids that much. Looks like Derick's life was pretty normal -- he was a boy scout; he was in national honor society. Guaranteed he will not be ok with homeschooling -- he may go along with it but he won't be happy with it. And guaranteed he will want his son to go to college. So sad that his dad died in his sleep.

I don't get a sense that the Bates parents and kids like the Duggars as much as the Duggars think they do. Now that doesn't stop Lawson from thinking Jinger is cute (or whoever -- don't know the exact ages) and pursuing it anyway, but the Bates kids seem to have lives -- within what is allowed of them and what's available in their area -- and as they've gotten older, they seem a bit irritated at the Duggar bus pulling up and staying for days on end as they have to then entertain. I feel like there have even been shots on camera where a teen has said things "oh it's just the Duggars" -- not meaning for cameras to catch it. The Bates aren't against long distance courtship though. Zach and Whitney were the only ones who were local and that's only bc they met at the Sonic where she waitressed. Chad is from Okla and moved to Tn. for Erin. Brandon is in Michigan now and he and Michela go back and forth for courting purposes. John is in Fl and traveled for courting and Alysaa moved to his town after marriage.

Does Jessa already know how to do hair or do we just think it would be up her alley? If she has some natural talent at it, but her family/Ben won't allow for schooling to get a license -- couldn't she still make some money at it by doing hair out of the house or doing hair for wedding parties? They know a ton of fundie families many with marriageable age daughters. These families aren't wealthy so I doubt they're hitting the local hair salons to get hair done for entire bridal parties, but they may be willing to pay a few hundred bucks in total if someone semi-professional could do it. Her family has celebrity status in that cult anyway, so I'd imagine people would love to welcome a Duggar to their wedding. I feel like there are options, but Jessa isn't the enterprising type; she really strikes me as the "I'll sit home 8 hrs a day eating bon bons while my man makes the money, 30 min before he comes home I'll throw some TV dinners in the oven, and in the hours he's home I'll show him who is in charge on any and every topic though in return for all this, he gets daily action."

Seriously. Sex was a huge part of the reason they rushed to marry quick -- they said it repeatedly in one episode that they didn't want to prolong a wedding since they were waiting for the physical side. So they get pregnant immediately and likely barely got the hang of sex. Then with morning sickness etc., I doubt she's really in the mood; I realize she has to give it up whenever Derick wants it but I get the sense Derick is the type who probably doesn't want to even ask seeing what she's going through. So now they'll have a baby, go through the whole postpartum recovery thing, have at it for a little while and likely get pregnant with the next kid and the cycle repeats. Unclear why Derick wants this rather than taking some time to have "fun" in a new marriage.