cereality

When was their first MC -- sometime near the spring? If they've had 3 MCs in like 9 months, why not just stop trying for a while in order to recover emotionally -- even if physical recovery isn't an issue? I mean I'm sure they want a baby really badly, but to be on this cycle has got to be so painful for them, esp as others in their circle are getting pregnant left and right. It would be so much to be easier to be able to say to family and friends "it was a hard year for us, we're recovering and when the time is right we'll have kids." I feel like they could take the time to go to fertility drs who may very well tell them nothing is specifically wrong and then they can try whenever they feel like it -- they have years ahead of them; rather than feeling like every cycle is a change to try.

I tend to agree. Jinger was very emotional when Jessa got married and in large part I think it was bc she knew she was being "left behind." Not only would Jessa be spending most of her time with Ben -- which happens in any marriage -- but any time she did spend with others would mostly be with other married couples and alas Jinger isn't married. It just speaks to JB and Michelle's douchy-ness that they treat their married kids different and better than the singles; what the 24 yr old unmarried ones don't ever want a dinner out without 4 yr olds clinging to them!? If the married couples want to go out by themselves, fine I guess. More appropriate would be all the "age-appropriate" siblings going out together -- so include JD, Jana, Jinger and Joy. But you can't "force" the married couples to take their siblings with them. BUT if JB and Michelle are going out with the older kids, they can absolutely "require" the inclusion of JD, Jinger, Jana, and Joy, so as to set the tone that ALL the kids are equally important whether they are married or single or will remain single their whole lives. But who are we kidding -- in that family, your stock only rises when you put a ring on it and make a baby.

In the limited amount of exposure we've had to the Bates, they just seem better raised than the Duggars. Gil and Kelly are hard core fundie, yet they seem to know and love each kid as an individual, not simply as Blessing No. 3 or 13. If Chad and Erin aren't trying right now or have had to go on BC and Gil and Kelly know (not that they have to share - but it may have come out at the hospital that the dr. told them not to try for a while or whatever), I imagine Gil and Kelly saying "take care of your health right now and do what the dr says, when it's your time you will have a bus load of kids." If it was Josh and Anna going through the same thing, I can imagine JB making some version of the "well pray about it" -- i.e. I don't agree with you and drs. don't know everything, pray about it until you get to the conclusion that baby making is the only option -- which would only make the couple feel that much worse about not only losing a pregnancy but also being looked down upon by their family. And then if the couple still didn't get down to business, then I'd see JB making his dorky "son you'll never be able to get to my record of 19 if you don't get busy. HAR HAR" comment. I just see Gil and Kelly treating each kid/couple as individuals. They probably realize that some of theirs may have a dozen kids of their own and some may only have 1 or 2 or be childless, and I don't see them ridiculing any of those things. Because their kids don't feel so judged or so "worried" about what their parents think, they act more like all other young adults. I'm sure Erin was able to be gracious with Whitney's shower because while I'm sure she's sad for herself, she knows she's loved by Chad and her parents and her mom isn't thinking any less of her. When asked by Nightline if she'd want 19 kids, Alyssa was very honest in saying she could not handle that many and couldn't see having more than 6 or 8. No Duggar offspring would feel comfortable being so honest bc of Mama and Daddy's wrath and would have to resort to "whatever God gives us."

I don't know why but the Bates just strike me as a bit more "reasonable" than the Duggars, even though they all have the same beliefs. They talk openly about how chemistry is important when courting and in a marriage, so I highly doubt they are abstaining -- or even able to abstain -- during the first year of marriage after having waited forever for sex. I wouldn't be shocked if they're using some BC or at least rhythm if doctors have told them to not get pregnant for a certain amount of time. I don't know why but Chad strikes me as the "protective" type, and as the headship I can see him being ok with BC or even insisting on it if it was a matter of Erin's health. Though the slippery slope with BC is that they may start using it and liking the freedom and not want to go off of it right away or want to go off to get pregnant and go back on for a while to ensure some time between pregnancies; though at that point they may be reminded that that's not what God/Gothard wants and once the medical need is passed, it's time to put it back in God's hands again.

I haven't seen the episode, but I tend to check Chad's blog and instagram from time to time and I'm happy to see that it looks like they're doing well. Now of course social media isn't always the best representation bc people only post happy pics, but it looks like they're getting out and doing stuff together, rather than just sitting in church 24-7 praying for a child. Erin is still teaching music lessons, and in the last year it looks like they've taken several trips by themselves to the beach, mountains, etc. I'm sure they'd rather just have a baby just like Zach and Alyssa, but since that hasn't happened for them yet, I'm hopeful that maybe they are really believing "when God wills" instead of other fundies who say that but expect a child 9 months after marriage. Reality is they are so young -- I mean Erin can't be more than 22-23 max since she graduated after she married Chad; that gives them years to try for a child, and sure -- if it takes them longer to have the first or longer between kids, they may not end up with 8 or 15 or whatever, but they still have many chances to have a child and likely even 3 or 4 kids. Somehow Gill and Kelly seem more "genuine" to me, even though we know they have the same beliefs as the Duggars. I see that family caring more about each other, and I'm hopeful that regardless of it all -- Gil and Kelly just want to see Chad and Erin happy. I wouldn't be surprised if they are really preaching "it'll happen when it happens, in the meantime go enjoy yourselves" rather than giving helpful "tips" or suggesting doctors or treatments or whatever. I feel like if it was the Duggars, JB would be telling Derick to "get on it and get it done," whereas I can see Gil telling Chad "so what -- you'll have one next yr or 2 yrs from now or whenever, it's not a contest with Zach or John Webster."

Anyone watch the Christmas video they put on YouTube? They showed Jana setting at that desk just inside the side entrance of the house -- it's set up in such a way as to give it the vibe of a cubicle or a private office, but it looked so cramped in there and the Jana popped up from behind the desk. With a house so large, why exactly do they need a desk/filing cabinets and whatever that other furniture was to be cramped into an area which would be a mudroom/tiny lobby entrance in most other houses. Jana said she was sending out Christmas cards -- I'm assuming to their admirers who send them gifts etc. and I'm guessing maybe also to the other fundie families they see on occasion like the Bates, Paines, and now the Kellers, Dillards, Seewalds etc. Does anyone know if this is another one of Jana's tasks? I could see how it makes sense to give it to one of the older girls -- better handwriting and they'd write something appropriate, whereas the boys in that house cannot be trusted with such things. But doesn't Jana do enough re the raising of the 15 siblings still at home that now Christmas cards are her jurisdiction too??

Agreed -- there is nothing wrong with posting pregnancy shots. I mean it's tacky but so many people do it that it's actually become normal. It's also not wrong to post about the birth of Jesus/post a Bible quote on Christmas. However to post both at the same time on Christmas makes it seem -- upon my first quick glance -- like an insinuation that the birth of their son is as "important" as Jesus's birth. As I said in my first post -- maybe they didn't even mean it like that -- but that's how it comes across when someone just looks at it quickly. At least that's what I initially thought.

On a different note -- watching the Christmas video that the Duggars posted which was narrated by Josh, he looked a lot better than he's been looking lately. Could still stand to lose a few pounds -- but didn't look as pale or exhausted and acted like his usual self. I wonder if he is really so stressed in DC and with his job that being "home" makes him feel better or normal again. It's possible -- I mean it's the only life he knew for 2+ decades and now he's been thrust into the big city; it's something he wanted but it's still hard when it happens.

Aren't some or all of the Bates with the Duggars this Christmas? I thought I saw a few of the older sons in some of the pics posted. I'm sorry but I don't understand how you can see the Bates family this afternoon (even if Erin and Chad aren't there), you know that Erin miscarried and then you post something that evening that sounds like you're equating your kid with the Christ child and sounds like you're saying that you got a baby because God loves you and Derick the most. I mean it is no big deal to be married for one year and not have a child -- I mean most couples want one (and actually many) years of getting to live together, travel and have fun before the responsibilities that come with a newborn. BUT in this particular culture where it's procreation over everything else, you know Erin (and to some extent Chad) must be feeling like something is wrong with them physically or that they did something wrong religiously to be married for a whole year without a baby and to have lost a pregnancy. Now of course you can't and shouldn't "hide" your kid/pregnancy because of that, I mean Erin obviously has to deal with Zach's son and is probably handling that just fine -- but you'd think you'd be more sensitive about how you addressed your pregnancy if you know your family's "best" friends are likely reading and could be feeling bad.

I'm very supportive of parents to be who are excited, but that's just about the most ridiculous thing I've seen from them. I mean -- there's an actual gift tag that says To Jill & Derick, from: God. Really!? And today is the celebration of JC's birth, and while their kid is important -- seriously are they really insinuating that he is at the level of the Christ child? Maybe that's not how they mean it, but that's how it comes across.

What's with the "Duggar Studios" videos that they've been posting on Youtube? Is TLC asking them to do those in the offseason, or is it just a way for them to keep their fans interested in the offseason or maybe touch issues that TLC doesn't like to get into like religion? I just watched the one narrated by Josh re the Duggars' Christmas. Anyone else think it's odd that they have "Happy birthday Jesus" banners and sing happy birthday? Is that something that's done in Christianity bc it is in fact Jesus's birthday, or is this the Duggars' own way of celebrating? Also anyone understand why they don't have a tree? When Josh asked, Mama made it sound like it wasn't "important," Jesus's birthday was important - thus the happy birthday. But then Josh says -- we had some when I was a kid, and I remember them getting knocked over. So is there a religious reason to not have a tree or is it just Duggar convenience? I've never heard of not having a tree due to fear of it being knocked over -- all my friends with toddlers have them and have never mentioned that issue, though I know sometimes they won't put expensive or meaningful ornaments in places where they can be grabbed by a 2 yr old and broken. So is there a religious reason to forego a tree? Because I noticed in Jill's IG pic tonight from the Duggar's celebration, they are standing directly in front of the tree. Also thought it was interesting when Josh walked in through one of the side doors of the house and walked into a "cubicle" looking area -- where Jana was sitting sending out "tons" of Christmas cards. I wonder if that job falls on Jana too -- replying to fan mail/cards.

I don't think it's a big deal either though in retrospect Jill was in the early stages of pregnancy at that point -- may have been too queasy to travel. Hopefully Jessa and Ben are just staying home because they'd rather be in the Hot Springs parade to build their brand. Either way I think it's good for them to spend as much time as they can in Hot Springs. Not saying Gwen and MIke are the picture of normalcy as they certainly have views that are out there, but I also think they are more lenient with their kids and Ben and Jessa can just act normal there -- listen to secular music, go shopping with the family or help with Christmas traditions, or even ditch the family and go out on date nights, maybe even hang with Ben's friends and their girlfriends/wives. I am assuming that in the Duggar home, even though they're a married couple, it's still much more -- we are ALL going to go race soapbox cars, whether you're 3 or 30. While in the Seewald home, I feel like Mike and Gwen take more of the approach of -- they're a young couple, of course they want to hang out alone or with their friends, what's so shocking about that. For all their faults, I think Mike/Gwen have even said that each kid is an individual and one size doesn't fit all, esp for relationships.

How close are the Duggar siblings really? I'm sure they love each other in the way that all siblings have to, but do they ever sit down and talk and share experiences among their peer siblings? I'm sure Joseph and JD don't care too much about Josh's work or DC life, as they seem to have more of the -- I want to work with my hands and own my own small business and settle down with a wife and kids right here, what's the point of the big city grind -- kind of mentality. But Josiah, Jed and Jer seem like they'd be interested -- just in knowing what day to day life is like in the big city or what his colleagues are like and where they came from etc. I feel like if I was Josh and was realizing that my parents were full of BS and education does not harm you (i.e. Derick seems like a good enough Christian to marry), I'd be encouraging my younger bros who were interested to "better themselves." That doesn't mean that they can automatically go to college, but I'd be encouraging them to sneak some books/newspapers and read and learn about the world on their own so that if/when they fall into a job outside of their hometown, they're not totally lost. Hell I'd probably buy them books here and there and give them some hints on how/where to hide them -- maybe even getting grandma and Amy on board in this endeavor. I wonder if he even cares about them that much or if it's more of a -- whatever no one helped me, why should I make I easy on them -- kind of mentality OR if he means to help but is way to overwhelmed with Anna and the kids and the thought of having another kid every 2 yrs.

Totally agree -- his job consists of preaching to his own choir, which will completely sign on to any message he conveys. Obviously he doesn't have an appearance every day and rather it seems like he spends weeks here and there going from one event to the next. The rest of the time, I bet his bosses are having him prepare -- i.e. on Jan 2, you're speaking to x fundie group in y, between now and then we need you to research that group and get us a draft of your speech (which we will then fix and re-write for you). It may be a bit of "make work" to keep him busy in times when he doesn't need to appear anywhere. I don't think it's about fitting in with respect to his work bc his FRC co workers knows he's there to play to a very specific audience. I just wonder how he fits in overall. I doubt FRC people only ever discuss the FRC agenda and nothing else. I'm sure just like everyone else in DC there are lunch breaks, coffee runs, and standing around in offices talking about current events like Ferguson or the Fed's interest rate decisions or whatever -- that's where I wonder if he feels a little lost and focused on not looking dumb when he can't just say "oh -- it was God's will." It's one thing when you're in your teens or in college and you have a very limited worldview or have no idea what's happening outside of your own family and church -- I think people are very forgiving of that -- but when you're 26 yrs old and in a professional role in your organization, there are expectations that you have some clue about grown up issues like in the news.

I wonder if Josh feels constantly insecure in DC? Not only does he not have a traditional education, he also doesn't seem to be a reader or a news watcher -- beyond what FRC is doing. Yet people in DC are VERY much into news. It's one of those places where I feel like everyone from senators to taxi drivers talk about what's happening in the world or at least in the nation. I wonder if he gets stuck in conversations about things that have nothing to do with FRC -- the economy or Ferguson or the Sony hack -- and has no clue what's going on and can't pull out the "they should've been better Christians" stuff and is left thinking "OMG what do I say. This is my boss's boss, I don't want to look dumb but why is he talking about interest rates. How do I get out of here!?" Constantly living like you're going to be found out has got to be stressful. Sure there are lots of people in DC who get into due to family connections, but the reality is they're reasonably educated in their own right or at least aren't coming from Duggar isolation either.

I agree that being an attorney would be a reach given his minimal education, but honestly he may be happy if he just starts taking classes towards an associates degree and then continues until he has a B.A. from a 4 yr school. Honestly I'm not sure that they were ever on the same page. In their method of courting, you don't get to spend time alone and a lot of things are assumed based on your families and beliefs. So Anna thought -- he's a Duggar, they're the paradigm of Godlyness in our circle -- of course I'm getting a man who wants to be fruitful and multiple more than anything else so I'll get at least 8+ kids out of this marriage. Conversely Josh thought -- yeah kids are great, of course we'll have kids but having lived with 18 siblings, I don't need 18 kids; 2-3 is plenty for me and I'll convince Anna that's enough for her too; frankly after experiencing childbirth a few times, she may not want to go through it a million times anyway. And then they get married and I'm sure in their heart of hearts realize their spouse is not on the same page at all. And to be fair to Anna -- yes she has nothing to talk about besides child rearing and maybe cooking, but is Josh all that worldly? Is there some evidence that he's watching TV and movies but his wife is refusing to watch with him? I don't seem him being all that knowledgeable about politics or world affairs, aside from FRC's views of the world. I wonder if they do have any interests/hobbies together to bond over? I think he's a UA fan -- I wonder if they watch college football together at least?

Either way Derick is part Duggar now, so even if his vacation habits inconvenienced his peers -- I doubt he cares. Or even if he feels bad deep down that he was away once again when some last minute project was assigned to his group and he couldn't pitch in, he's got Jilly Muffin in his ear saying "so what -- it's your right to use every ounce of your vacation time. Plus your co-workers will handle it, they're not married so what's their rush to get home?" She and Derick seem like the types who find themselves more important and evolved than the singles out there simply because they have to rush home to each other.

I will say -- Mo looks "happier" in that pic than Danielle, though it's possible that she was humiliated that he wouldn't kiss her at the altar or is wondering if there will even be a wedding night. I find the "eastern" cultures (being from one) far more reserved when it comes to wedding pics and other displays of happiness or affection. In a normal U.S. wedding pic, you'd expect the couple to be standing close and the man having his arms around his bride with both having huge smiles. Yet in Muslim cultures, it's perfectly normal for the man to stand that far from his new bride, arms by his side, with no smile or the faintest hint of a smile. Hell -- my cousin got married in Dubai this summer and I didn't attend but saw pics later and the FIRST thing I said "are her parents even happy, I've never seen anyone look so miserable in wedding pics." My aunt/uncle were over the moon about their daughter and new son in law, but to look at the pics -- you'd see the "bitch" faces and think they were there under duress.

What I don't understand is -- these people are raised to believe that the man is the headship and when a woman marries, authority goes from her father to her husband. So why is it that in all of the marriages -- JB/Michelle; Josh/Anna; Jill/Derick; Jessa/Ben -- what the women want is exactly what happens? What happened to what the headship wants? Now as newlyweds, I kind of understand. Sex is so shiny and new that that is likely all the headship wants, and if that means that the wife requires him to be home at 5 pm and get together for lunch 3 times a week (Jill) or impregnate her yearly (Michelle) or move to her area and work for her dad (Jessa), then fine -- the husband will do that because he wants to keep the wife happy so that they get it on as much as possible. However 6 years into it, I can't imagine that Josh is SO blown away by sex anymore. Once Anna delivers number 4 and a few months later is cooing about baby fever and trying for number 5, why can't Josh go to her then and say "look I've been praying about it, and as the headship I strongly believe the Lord is telling me -- let's take care of the kids we have and no more kids right now. We'll leave it in his hands and if it happens, it happens, but no active trying" -- and then dial it way down on the sex so that it doesn't happen? Or why can't he go to her now and talk about how he's been praying about how to provide for his growing family and the Lord is telling him that he needs to go to college to secure the family's financial future, so he has to do it because it's coming from above. How can Anna possibly disagree if Josh presents it as something he's prayed about for a long time?

I agree with whoever said he looks like he's worrying himself sick. I've definitely gone through phases where constant stress has changed my appearance, and that could be at play with Josh as well. I think he likes the life that he has now, and he is worrying himself sick about whether or not he'll get to keep it. He's been in DC for what -- a yr or 2 now? In that time, I'm sure he's learned that DC/politics are fickle and someone who is on top today can be yesterday's news next week. That happens to many/most in DC and they do land, but then they are usually well credentialed -- big name colleges, law schools/PhDs etc. It's also hard enough to maintain a middle class life in a big east coast city, but he's realizing that having a kid every 2 yrs will doom him to returning to Arkansas -- what he can provide on his salary for 3 kids is great; that same amount for 6 or 8 or 12 kids will be REALLY hand to mouth and returning to Arkansas where everything is cheaper -- from food to car insurance -- will become the only viable option if they turn into a mega family. Add to that that he's probably realizing how wrong and dumb his parents were -- but can't say it -- and I'd imagine he's feeling pretty ripped off in life. His parents' brand of fundie includes a belief in no education because it'll corrupt you/make you lose touch with religion and cause you to sit next to purple haired folks in class. He -- as the oldest -- bought into that fully, esp bc I think oldest kids question their parents less. Now he goes out into the real world and is working with all sorts of other conservatives who he's probably realizing are good Christians and they have college degrees and law degrees and no purple hair and are married with 1-2 kids. Now he has a bro in law who is a good Christian who has a business degree from a state school and another who is at least taking college classes, who his father allowed to marry his precious baby daughters and I'm sure he's thinking -- WTF -- you didn't let me go to college but college educated sons in law are just fine!? Granted he can't sit around blaming his parents forever, but I'm sure it's there just under the surface. Add to that that he also can't confide in his wife who is supposed to be his soulmate. I feel like in this situation, a lot of wives would do anything possible to help their husband's achieve what they needed. Maybe that wouldn't be law school, but it could at least be a B.A. or A.A. degree. I mean he could start with an A.A. from wherever Derick is attending and do that online mostly. If would take years to go class by class through an A.A. and then eventually a B.A., but with online education it isn't impossible; but for the fact that I don't see Anna taking well to Josh saying on nights/weekends -- sorry no time for baby making or trips to the farmers market or wherever, you're on your own, I need to study for an exam next week.

Respectfully, corresponding with your honey from a place where you are living for 2 years is a bit different from logging on during a one week vacay. In Nepal he had an infrastructure -- he was there for years. In Guatemala -- he's there for 1 week; if the internet doesn't work, it doesn't -- it's not like it's going to get fixed immediately because you have important work to do. And not to mention -- if the internet fails one day from Nepal and Derick doesn't get to talk to his sweetie -- well she'll cry into her pillow and life will move on. If OTOH you have promised someone that you will get work product out the door and you can't because of the internet -- believe it or not, in the corporate world people do fault you because now they have to scramble to get something done that you said you'd do. The big Fortune 500 corporations have gotten pretty ruthless esp due to the sheer number of young people in search of jobs; so the situation that Derick has there is a lot different than what he'd have in the healthcare industry, where there is often a shortage of workers. And whether it's fair or not, the corporate world is much more about the impression that you make. I like Derick but someone who has the mentality of -- I need to take every single day off that I possibly can and invite my sweetie to lunch whenever possible -- just will not be considered a stand out employee the way that someone would if they are more focused on work and "over" dedicated; it may not be fair but those things matter when it comes to promotions and raises and long term futures. But again I don't think Derick is really thinking about WMT for the long haul.

I really wonder if Josh has had a single opportunity to make a friend of his own in DC -- not a relative of a Duggar or Bates family friend who happens to live in DC or some couple that TLC has set him and Anna up with or even a couple friend where Anna and the wife get together and the husbands get together. I mean a guy who just he knows -- through work, the gym, wherever. Because if I were him -- looking (and presumably feeling) the way he appears to be looking/feeling, I'd be turning to anyone I could who may be able to help me with the logistics of getting a vasectomy without jeopardizing my job. He does not look the least bit excited about #4 and think how much more stress he'll be feeling by the time Anna's ready to try for numbers 5 and 6 or the twins she's always wanted. If I were him, I'd be telling her "sorry sweetie I have to go to Omaha for work for 4 days in Jan, you're on your own or maybe you should head to Arkansas or Fl," finding a friend to bunk with or absent that booking myself a Motel 6 for a few hundred, stocking it up with food etc, and calling a car service to drive me to and from the appointment and then holing up in the hotel room all week to recover while praying that there are no complications that he would have to tell his wife about. As much as I'm not a Josh fan, I do think he is a good husband and dad, but I also think he is now in DC, looking around at guys his age who have what he wanted -- namely freedom, law school degrees, small families (or no families yet if they're his age) -- and is thinking DAMN I'm never going to have that, but I at least want to stay in DC and not be a car lot owner in Arkansas again. That's got to be taking a toll on him mentally -- how will I continue to provide financially in a town where Ivy Leaguers are a dime a dozen. Sure his job at FRC is great, but I doubt his pay goes up THAT much yearly. Even if that job lasts for a really long time, what's financially workable for a family of 5 is going to be hard when that family is up to 8 or 10. But then this is how he was raised and he presumably doesn't want to disappoint Anna or break their vows. I don't think he'd ever deceive her by getting the V, but honestly I wouldn't be that sad for her if he did. She just does NOT get it. They were raised in a faith where he can't/won't just say "I don't want any more kids" -- at least not until they're into the double digits and her health is at risk. But a wife of 6 years would understand that he's staying that loud and clear (for their culture) by constantly saying "2-3 kids is plenty" or looking downright sick when she announced #4 or with his looks of horror on camera when she talks about 8 kids or twins or whatever. I feel like any normal wife would see those looks and gently try to figure out what was going on with her husband -- even if that meant hearing the sad fact that he doesn't want to procreate any further. But for Anna, it just seems like she's thinking -- you can look scared all you want, but God will provide -- so drop trou.

I'm fairly certain Guatemala and the honeymoon are not the type of vacations where he was available and able to log in for an hr or two if something came up. I doubt he had stable internet access in Guatemala and on his honeymoon, I'm thinking he and Jill were too busy banging their brains out for him to check to see if there was a work email that needed to be addressed. To each their own, but these days there are so many eager young grads in the market, that you need to make the right impression on your managers and show them how much you care esp in the first few years of employment. Sadly when you're young, that means getting in early and staying late -- becoming the one they rely on. That's not going to happen when you constantly take days off here and there -- even if it is completely allowed; you may not get fired, but you also won't stand out. Once you earn managers' trust and become more senior, it's different -- then it's easier to say, "I have to be out of the office but will log in," but I wouldn't be so presumptuous to do that as a new grad in my first yr on the job. But I'm still one of the ones who thinks he won't be at WMT for the long haul -- the call of Pa Duggars businesses will be too hard to resist in a few yrs when he's really desiring flexibility.

I can't imagine standing up at the altar ready to say my vows and having my own invited guests snickering or looking at each other and smiling during the "does anyone object" part. Is Danielle so divorced from reality that she doesn't understand that her own sister/kids/guests saying things like "this will be a train wreck," "maybe it'll last a yr or two" is a HUGE red flag that needs to be looked at? From the things Danielle has said in her interviews -- I get the sense that she wants Mohamed bc he is a young man who can bring home a paycheck. Even in the first episode she made some reference to having someone to "provide for her," and in this episode after the wedding -- she again said something about her and the daughters being taken care of. We all know that Mo has no interest in having sex with her, but frankly I think she'd live with a sexless marriage and just clutch his arms when he allowed if that meant she wouldn't have to hold down a job. If this goes forward, he's 8-9 months away from having working papers it sounds like. While that isn't a long time for a normal couple, given the shape they're in -- how does Danielle intend to survive for that long? More importantly how much opportunity is there in that town? I admittedly don't know Ohio, but that town doesn't look like it's near Cincinnati, Cleveland etc. Rather it looks like the kind of place where your options are retail or restaurant or maybe factory work, unless you are in a skilled trade and can work for a contractor, have the education/training to be a doctor/nurse/tech at the local hospital or a teacher in the local school district. I'm assuming Mo isn't a skilled tradesmen, dr. or teacher -- or we would have heard "oh we just need to stick it out 8 more months and then he'll be making $$$ as a cardiologist," so how much money does Danielle really think he can make as a factory worker? Nothing against factory workers -- many work a lot of shifts and make a solid living -- but I'm not sure it's the kind of living for which you want to bring over a mail order husband who doesn't have any interest in touching you whatsoever.

How pregnant is Jill? I'm sure I should know but I don't. In Derick's IG pic she has her hand on the lower part of the belly the way I've only seen a woman do in her 8th-9th month when I imagine everything is super heavy and uncomfortable. Is she THAT far along in which case why is she traveling in the developing world? Or is she not that far along but just trying to highlight the pregnancy for us, as if we could miss that bump? And I know people disagree but man I'd hate to be Derick's co-worker -- you know -- the immediate peer to whom the manager re-assigns the work every time Derick announces he is taking another vacay. I know some people come from employment cultures where you get x weeks off and you take exactly that amount of vacation time in a year so they may not think this is a big deal. But I know in my professional industry, sometimes vacations are expected to be on hold depending on what's going on at work, colleagues' schedules etc. It's sometimes even easier to take a block of 2 weeks -- bc then people know they are covering for you for that stretch -- than to take days here and there every month or two, which just becomes irritating. To those who say he hasn't taken a lot of time off -- I frankly think he has for a junior employee on the job for 12 months or less. I'm guessing he took a day or 2 before the wedding, a week for his honeymoon, a day for the NYC long weekend, a week for Guatemala -- that's 2.5 weeks right there. I'm sure there have been days/half days thrown in here and there when his mom was sick, for Jill's Baby Dilly appointments, and maybe for TLC obligations and that puts him at 3 weeks already before the holidays. With even the most generous corporate employers, I've never heard of a junior employee getting more than 2-3 weeks of vacation time right off the bat, and Derick has made sure to use every single minute of that. I'm sure that's within his right, but I guarantee it will not make him popular among his peer colleagues, nor will it make his managers have faith in him in the long run. If a high profile project comes into his department next year, I'm sure the managers would think about who to give it to -- guaranteed they will not want to choose the person who says "yeah I'm happy to work on that. I'll do what it takes. But just so you know -- I'm taking off 3 days for a babymoon next month and then a week off my kid is born and then another 2 days off for TLC obligations, that's fine right?"