cereality

So a little more activity from Erin on insta lately - a pic kissing Chad; posts for Brooklyn's birthday; IG video for Josie's birthday and randomly showing a summer evening where Trace etc. were hanging out outside and the kids were playing with Chad. But I do wonder if she isn't well bc she is largely MIA. Gil rented out some skating rink today as a church activity - Whit, Carlin, and Josie are all there skating with their babies and then out to lunch with Gil - making a big deal of having time with cousins etc. Erin wasn't there nor were her kids. I mean she's up and around in her house, as she shown a little video of baking with Brooklyn recently, but she really seems not to be going anyplace, even family events or the boutique. Wonder if she just doesn't feel well enough/doesn't have the energy.

Will have to look for that post/that video. I do think she and John have REALLY painted Allie into the - mommy's little helper and will be SUCH a good wife and mommy herself - role because frankly it helps them since they choose to have a kid every 18 mos. Allie goes with it because she doesn't know any better and frankly what other positive attention is she really getting from her parents. It's not like they're going to gush about - OMG my 6 yr old LOVES to do science experiments, maybe she'll be an engineer or dr one day. But yeah I get the sense Allie spends a lot of time watching the 3 and 4 yr old so Alyssa can dress up the infant and put up videos of the girls on insta with the perfect music, showing how perfect their childhood and the summer is 🙄. I mean it's kind of bullshit that Allie shares a room with Maci!? IDK if Maci is still in J&A's room or not but reality is it's because they expect some help from Allie even at night -- if not right now, then in a few mos. Even kids who sleep thru the night will wake up randomly sometimes because they're teething or gassy or whatever. Sure A or J will come wandering in if it seems like she's crying a lot, but just a little fussing - oh Allie will rub her back until she falls asleep, she wouldn't bother mommy and daddy for that. Uh -- she's SIX. She's a small child herself, should be in 1st grade, getting a good night's sleep, good food etc. Allie is also going to end up being the cook here -- give it another 2 years and they'll be gushing about how Allie LOVES to make dinner for them. Alyssa has shown that she has ZERO interest in cooking -- she'll feed them cheese and crackers or those prepared meals that are entirely too small for her giant manual laborer husband and he ends up running out to McDs or getting a pizza at night half the time. AND Alyssa grew up having to cook for 21 people/night, so to her NBD if Allie has to cook for a family of 6, it'll just teach her responsibility and prepare her to be a wife and mother some 12 years from now. 🙄 Alyssa's parenting style is very much what happens when you make your kids raise their siblings when they are just children themselves. They end up burnt out and then when they have their own kids, the cycle continues as soon as they can dump parenting, cooking, whatever on their oldest kids, they do it. Way to go G&K.

Yeah I saw that pool video and the whole time was thinking WTH!? Who puts a 5 month old in the pool with no adult in there!? I realized she was in a float but come on these are dollar store floats not US Naval Academy life vessels. Alyssa in full makeup and standing far enough away to not get splashed at the edge of the pool holding the float doesn't count as an adult in the pool with the kid. I guess she feels her 6 and 4 year old are "adult" enough to help an infant until she can jump in. Honestly I think she's way too lax with the pool. I realize they have taken swimming lessons but they are only 6, 4, and 3. They seem to spend their days in the pool with Alyssa watching them from the patio - fully dressed, holding a baby, with no playpen or anything to put the baby in should she ever need to jump in. And I honestly don't believe that she never leaves them in the pool to run inside to change the baby's diaper or get her a bottle or whatever being like - oh it's ok I can see them from the kitchen window. I didn't grow up with a pool, maybe this is how it's done. But IDK I feel like I'd handle it like that when the kids were 12, 10, and 9 not at 6, 4, 3. She's actually really lax on a lot of parenting. Meals are routinely a spread of crackers, cheese and fruit. She takes them out all over the place - coffee shops etc. indoors, no masks of course - during a pandemic when Orlando is one of the main places of concern in the country; I mean after years of not sending anyone to school THIS is the year she is sending them to a co-op one day a week to mix and mingle with other kids and their germs? I imagine a lot of this just comes from how she was raised. When you're 1 of 19 you're just roaming free and the only time anyone notices if you're gone is if a boy doesn't show up at a meal or a girl (esp Alyssa and Michaela) don't show up in time to start dinner. No one was ever watching them so she probably feels like she doesn't have to watch her kids the way modern parents do - yet G&K also didn't have the hazard of a pool . . . .

Agreed. We've definitely seen calls to Erin where Whit and Carlin are very much keeping sweet with awwww you don't feel well and Erin crows about how lucky she is to have them to handle these things. Yet I can see resentment brewing at some point esp from Whit who also has 4 kids; I can see her get bitter that she (and Z LOL) are always at the shop counting dresses or whatever and Erin shows up if/when she can. They may be understanding of illness (though who knows do these people think covid and long covid are real)? But I could see resentment if instead of dropping out formally if she can't do it and cashing out or whatever, Erin continues being a partner - with others doing the work - and Erin still feeling entitled to a share of the $$ because after all SHE is the one who decided what should go where in the shop and how photo shoots should be conducted with HER critical eye for design. Like I could see her thinking - so what if I'm not there counting dresses, a monkey could do that, they'd be sitting in an ugly warehouse if not for me. And the other 2 thinking so what you helped as a design consultant early on that doesn't mean you should share in the profit forever if you won't work day to day. Like if Erin was coming in day to day, they'd probably need 1 less employee and could save $ there. And of course this is the Bates so it's not like there's any kind of partnership agreement nor even an advance discussion re pulling out of the business, which there should have been bc no one expected covid but they must have thought - at some point what happens if you have 36 kids and can't work anymore, do we still pay you??

You're right. I hope she's ok. As much as I snark on these people and I HATE their handling of the pandemic, I still want her to be ok healthwise. She posts IG stories here and there though very sporadic lately of the kids running around feeding the animals with Chad with some kind of #blessed for living the simple family life type of message. But even those posts aren't frequent anymore. They did go to the beach in June I think with his parents/his side of the family so she was at least ok enough to travel then but that was 6+ weeks ago - a long time in a pandemic. Best case scenario she's pulling back from the boutique and it becomes a Carlin and Whit (& Zach thing) but I feel like if she did that she'd be posting passive aggressive things all over insta re how she is soooo glad she is home with her kids full time and really raising them and focusing on their needs blah blah. Worst case (and I hope not) - the covid complications from before are continuing or she has it again with this new variant and they've been too busy with that/drs appts etc. to make everything look all perfect on social media or deal with the boutique. Also a possibility with her - she's super depressed not being able to have more kids and is withdrawing from life with no interest anymore in the boutique, nor in being around sisters who all have newborns and/or are trying to get pregnant and is just laying in bed or having a meltdown doing laundry (a la Michelle Duggar though the reasons were different) and having Chad cook/clean/raise the existing kids/earn the money. I don't put that past Erin actually.

In normal world sure, nothing wrong with a woman starting a business and it grows so successful that her husband or other men can work there too. But in fundie world - come on??! These people have preached since day 1 that the man is the provider and head of his family, and wife is there is be his helper/encourager/bearer and raiser of his kids/and his cook and maid. Kinda reversing gender roles aren’t we Z&W? Isn’t the Bible against that sort of thing? If he’s neither the one that can provide financially nor squat down and birth the kids, what exactly is his (Biblical) role in this family? Not much of a headship if you ask me.

And there he is again in today's video, at the Bates Sisters Boutique brain storming session, chilling with the ladies and holding a baby. Z is a regular momtrepreneur. FWIW Evan is there too but at least we know he goes to school/works 40 hrs/wk in an actual trade, he may just have had a day or afternoon off so he decided to goof off and grandstand in front of an audience, his favorite thing ever. How is Whit not embarrassed? I know she didn't want him holding down a real job with an actual schedule, but I assume she thought he'd be out working up a sweat like a man chopping down trees, only to have him at her business daily talking about dresses? I mean she's got the least manly husband of them all if this continues and given how comparative these girls are, you know she's noticed . . . . I guess they all think of Brandon as the outcast but IDK he works for a fundie org doing video/computer work, that's still manlier than ordering dresses all day and talking about whether the cap sleeve ones will sell better than the short sleeve ones and if we need to order more of those!?

It's not that a tree business CAN'T be successful, it's that no one appears to work at this tree business full time to bring in the business, put up some ads, get some contracts either with city/state for repeated work or HOAs (there may not be tons in their area but there probably are nice suburbs someplace driveable). It very much seems like a business that gets jobs here and there bc some "sweet friend" needs some tree trimming, that's the kind of thing that brings in additional income not the kind of thing that'll feed 12 mouths at G&K's house and 6 mouths at Z&W's house, not to mention all the other brothers they pull in to help when they do get a job. Reason I think this is I feel like MANY of their jobs are documented on social media - at least the sizeable ones - bc Trace goes along to help (sometimes in addition to Jackson/Warden/Isiah and maybe even Law/Nathan if they're around). Trace puts EVERYTHING on IG with the #blessed omg I LOVE working with pops and my bros . . . . If they're gonna feed that many mouths with a single business it can't just be tiny jobs that Gil and Z may be doing alone sometimes, they need many of these other bigger jobs which require the brotherly man power. Those seem rare, like 1 every month or two . . . . Hence Z is peddling dresses now, hanging out with the ladies all day. They're such hypocrites. They're all about OMG MEN, manly, we're tradesmen, we work with our hands, during covid - all the sons in law were crowing about being essential workers (at least Kelton/Bobby/John were). If any other guy was selling dresses at his WIFE's business, G&K would be the first to mock him, yet for Z it's a-ok.

So I guess Z officially works for his wife at a dress shop. Way to be the manly headship dude. This is the 2nd time that Carlin has posted a video of a regular weekday afternoon and she and Whit are there folding clothes/stacking shelves etc. and Z is seen sitting there at a laptop working and grabbing from a pile of peaches someone had brought in as a snack. This does not seem to be a random - oh the husbands drop by to say hi when they're in the area for their work or the husbands come over to help unload the truck when shipments arrive - type of thing. This seems like a Z reports to his wife's work and his wife/sisters have likely given him some business/computer tasks like invoices or ordering goods or something along those lines, while W probably gushes to him about how they could NEVER do it without him, he's the BRAINS (ala Josie and Kelton). Good move leaving (or getting pushed out of) city employment for daddy's business which has 12+ mouths to feed in Gil's home and yet brings in business a few days a month max. Sure we believe it was to "invest in your kids," I mean it's not like it takes money to raise kids or anything and way to teach those 2 sons of yours how to be the provider.

He's one of 5 kids so his thought on having 5 may not be random. Yeah he def wants a son, as does Chad (brother for Carson) and Evan (sports legacy). He seems like the kind of macho dick that'll never be happy without a son. They are definitely having a 3rd either way as Kelton kept saying -- WHEN she is pregnant next time, we'll see how it goes and then we'll decide based on that pregnancy. Given how Kelton is, I'm assuming that if Josie's symptoms are at all tolerable, Kelton will expect her to soldier thru kids 3-5. I think the only son in law that doesn't care if it's just daughters is John and I really think it's because he just doesn't want (or didn't want) that many kids. I'm not saying he doesn't love his kids, but I just think he's not enamored with kids generally and the disruption they've caused in his house/finances/sex life/time with his wife and he wouldn't be any more enamored just bc they were boys rather than girls.

Where is the dog? I refuse to watch an entire video on it. Is the dog shipped off permanently bc she made it seem on IG like some kind of obedience school. I'm unclear on why they even go a dog except to complete the perfect IG pic of a perfect family with 2 kids (and then #2 didn't come quick enough) + dog. Yet they can barely handle the 1 kid they got including fitting her in size appropriate clothes and feeding her real food. And they head off to his mommy and daddy's 3 weekends a month for home cooking and babysitting - did they need a dog when they can barely take care of themselves??

His dad is an IT consultant; I thought he owned his own company but per Linkedin it looks like he works for an IT consulting firm - though it's possible he sold his co. to a bigger co. and became an employee. He does seem to live well - he's often shows driving up in his Mercedes; seems to dress like someone who has worked in a business space. Interesting that he went to a real university (Baylor) and got a real degree in business administration and developed a corporate career, yet he sent all his kids to a fake Christian college (PCC) and is raising his sons to be plumbers - as there's another son after Kelton who is a licensed plumber. I do wonder if it was about diving deeply into religion after his wife passed and raising his kids that way, so it was all about Bible all the time, sending the kids to PCC where his wife went etc., deciding that was better for them than secular life/regular college/regular corporate jobs etc. He never remarried and in fact still wears his wedding ring. I can't imagine remarriage isn't allowed -- I mean I'm sure a father isn't expected to raise his kids. Who knows maybe he is still deeply in love with his wife and can't imagine being with anyone else; maybe he just decided he'll throw himself into raising his kids and not worry about remarrying; I imagine his youngest daughter is probably ~13ish -- as his wife died after childbirth when Kelton was 13 or so and K is now 26. He unlike Kelton comes off like a nice guy from what little we've seen.

Hadn’t seen that pic before. WTF that is brazen even at a normal wedding. It’s one thing to grab your new spouse’s ass on the dance floor in a heat of the moment thing or to pose for a pic like that w just the couple and the photographer (which is what I assumed Kelton did), but damn this is a bit much. To pose for a pic like that w all the family and wedding party looking on. That does come across like an eff you, you can’t stop me now G&K. And let’s be honest a fundie afternoon wedding, no alcohol, and you’ve barely ever touched a girl before — this is no heat of the moment/passion thing, this is a messaging thing to make sure everyone knows who is boss. How is Josie not flinching — she likely had never had any guy touch anything but her hand and this dude grabs her ass in public/in front of her fam?!

Part of me wonders if some of Kelton's behavior is due to being raised by a single dad with a pack of brothers - he only has one sister close in age to him and the other was a newborn when his mom passed. Michael Balka was left with 5 (I think) kids and probably terrified as raising them alone. He's super religious per Kelton so he likely decided -- all I have to do is give these kids a 100% knowledge of the Bible + feed/clothe/shelter them and they'll be fine. So you know with the boys it was non stop -- no sex until marriage; marriage is beautiful you're the headship; prepare to marry by having a career; and with the daughter -- purity; marriage is beautiful, you'll have a man to lead you thru life. Yet Kelton as a teen never saw the day to day of how a man is supposed to treat a wife etc., and he was just running with his pack of brothers. He just ran with the literal Biblical interpretation bc it suits him - he got to take Josie from Gil; he gets sex; he runs the show in that home. Brandon, Bobby, and John OTOH all have a bunch of sisters; Bobby IIRC only has sisters and John has said that his brothers are older and he was in a pack of girls so he spent his childhood playing whatever his sisters wanted to play etc. So I have a feeling while those 3 got the same Bible lessons as Kelton, day to day they also got a lot of -- don't be mean to your sister; no you can't push your sister; you hurt her feelings, apologize etc. So they inherently learned how to treat women in a way Kelton didn't. In no way do I blame Michael Balka here; he did the best he could. Kelton is a grown man, If he wasn't ready to marry and/or didn't understand how to treat women, he could have dated around a bit, waited to marry etc. But nope this type of domineering relationship with someone 4 yrs younger suits his tendencies so here we are . . . .

If it were a son, you know he'd be hoping the son would get some ASAP when he turned 18. BUT he wouldn't say that as his wish for a son because he'd have so many other wishes for him before marriage AND bc a son's worth is NOT determined by whether he can find someone to put a ring on the second he's legal. I mean look at Nathan and Lawson -- 27-29ish years old, unmarried and they are reasonably respected, get to live their lives, and get to do whatever fun stuff they want whether it's flying or music or whatever. Yet say Addie or Ellie didn't get married -- they wouldn't be doing anything except G&K's cooking and cleaning and raising the kids of whichever local daughter has way more kids than she could handle AND they'd be disrespected as the daughter that no want wanted and pity them they don't even have babies, they haven't fulfilled the reason that God puts all women on earth - wife + mother; it'd be the Jana Duggar situation. For a son Kelton's dreams would be -- oh I hope he goes to the same college as me; I hope he's a star athlete; I hope he joins my business and we can work side by side; I hope he takes over my business one day blah blah. And even if he didn't do those things and went another way, Kelton would be soooo proud that his son is a fundie pilot or small business owner of his own or whatever. I hope these assholes have a few daughters each who break away. He likely will send his daughters to Christian college like the one he went to (bc his sister got to go there too all the way in Fla away from her daddy). Here's hoping they're scrappy. Either pursue a real education at those colleges if possible and if not be working and paying for your own classes at a real university even though daddy thinks you're fully enrolled at PCC, work your way thru that bio major or finance major or whatever, and then tell daddy -- sorry I'm headed to medical or law school; you're not paying for it so you can't stop me; maybe I'll marry, maybe I won't, we'll see but right now I'm doing busy in residency and fellowship to be a cardiologist or working 80 hrs/wk making more money than you and mom have ever seen in your life at my fancy Chicago law firm . . . . Assholes like him deserve to sit there lamenting what they did wrong to have such a daughter and praying about it 24/7.

There were wedding pics with him grabbing Josie's ass?? Damn that's brazen. Are those pics still available some place to be seen now? But he does strike me as controlling + he hates G&K. Gil put the brakes on him "getting to know" Josie when Kelton was 17-18ish heading off to college, which would've made Josie 13-14ish. I am no fan of Gil but come on even in regular world, NO parent is ok with a high school senior hanging out with their 8th or 9th grader!? Everyone assumes the senior is up to something/something ain't right. But Kelton will hold that grudge against Gil for life, so I could see him grabbing her ass at the wedding as a way to be like -- haha I "took her" from you, she "belongs" to me now and nothing you can do about it, I can grab anything I want. He's gross. So of course now with daughters, he OWNS everything about them including their virginity until the day some guy puts a ring on it. Kelton (and Josie) are just as vile as any fundies even if they try to give off the - young successful business owning couple vibe. Just today she posted an IG about how they dumped the kids on Kelton's fam and were headed to a coffee date and to work from a coffee shop for a few hours because Kelton was going to help her create a financial model for her business. Josie gushes that the idea may be hers but "Kelton is the brains of the business" as he grins in agreement. Yo asshole you could at least say -- no I'm not babe blah blah -- even if you don't mean it because in your mind your dick makes your smarter than ANY WOMAN. There's something about him I am growing to really dislike. He has no redeeming qualities -- he's not cute like Bobby or Brandon (at least I think they're cute YMMV); he's actually kinda ugly and his personality doesn't help; he's not witty or funny at all like John; and clearly he isn't nice. Like John even though we know he's married to a woman who is an airhead, if Alyssa compliments him while putting herself down, he ALWAYS says - no that isn't true; what are you even talking about; I could never do what you do etc. - bc that's how nice guys behave with the women they supposedly love!?

I’m kinda surprised that he didn’t go for the 4th goal (prep for marriage; find spouse; virginity) AND Willow’s going to be SUCH a good mother herself, you know after puberty when that becomes possible. Me thinks Willow isn’t the helpful sort of toddler running to get diapers etc for Hazel or calling mama every time H cries. Kelton must be getting concerned . . . .

I know it’s standard fundie speak but Kelton’s birthday wish for Willow includes praying for her and her future spouse; for her and her spouse to prep for marriage until they meet; and for her to stay pure until marriage. She’s 2. Gross. And does daddy need to think about or mention a toddler’s virginity at all??

What exactly does Josie sell? Last I noticed it was like barrettes/hair clips. Yet she posted an IG yesterday about how she and Kelton were so exhausted bc they were moving all her inventory to a warehouse. And today she's posting from said warehouse and calls it a "studio space" -- really it looks like an office suite that you'd have if you were say a solo dr or lawyer, like she'll use some areas for storage and probably some areas for picture taking. So she has to be selling more than barrettes, right? Does she have partners in this business -- bc there's always a few women hanging out with her though know idea who they are/how they're involved.

I have to imagine Chad got harassed but not as bad as Travis, Bobby, and Brandon. He was also 26 when he married and had some skills re carpentry/contractor so he could earn a living without G&K's help AND is fundie. Plus it was the first girl courtship for G&K and first potentially successful courtship - Z's earlier one having fallen apart. The Bates were more fundie then and I imagine Kelly was freaking out that if Erin couldn't seal the deal, they'd be the fundie family where somehow every kid gets broken up with and none of the 19 would be marriable. Plus being closer to their fundy-ness and marrying fundy royalty (I think Chad's family is/used to be up there in the structure), Kelly knew that if she pushed too hard, Chad could easily just be like nope off to Oklahoma we go to live near my family, I'll start my own contractor business and we'll see your family 2x/yr max. I have a feeling both Kelly and Erin pushed Chad hard but subtly to get him to move to Tenn for Erin to finish college and then stay permanently afterward. I imagine Kelly was totally flattering him nonstop about how they couldn't wait to have him as a son in law/how amazing he is blah blah. Meanwhile Erin was doing the princess thing which for a 26 yr old male virgin - yeah he'd go live in Alaska with her if it meant he'd get some.

You're right Brandon was nearly 26 when he got married. Guess it was just easy for Kelly to walk all over him because he's so quiet and was just finishing up school when they started courting so she could keep pushing as in - do you REALLY need to finish first; can't you marry her during school; do you REALLY need to work for a year or 2 before marrying; why just marry her now blah blah; and he'd politely take it. I feel like the only guys she didn't mess with were John bc he just wasn't having it and she understood that if she pushed too hard J&A would just go establish a life in Fla. and she'd never see those grandkids; Kelton bc he already didn't get along with G&K and just like Alyssa, Josie would be quick to just go off and live life with Kelton and G&K would be out. So I guess that has something to do with the daughters who she thought would "walk away" and follow their men.

We all know Alyssa loves her coffee, nothing wrong with that. But when she announced she was going to get coffee and then spend her day cleaning house/laundry, I assume McDs/Sbux etc. Nope instead she posts an IG video from a coffee shop with all 4 girls sitting inside with her. In Florida. With FOUR kids below vaccine age (not that they'd necessarily vaccinate even if they were eligible), no mask in sight for anyone, in a state that has 1 in 5 new U.S. cases. I wonder if A&J have a TV/turn on the news ever - even for 2 seconds here and there? Because she seems blissfully unaware. Like I know many people are just choosing to live their lives and that's fine but with her I wonder - is it a choice or does she literally not know any better because no one told her? I mean the youngest kid can't be more than 7 mos old as she was born this year + she declined to go to South Carolina with her due to some worries about illness, yet indoors in a coffee shop with strangers 2 weeks later is perfectly ok for that child??

Both Nathan and Law are alone with their gfs non stop. Law constantly posts videos of spending weeks at a time with Tiffany in Ca. - no siblings go out there with him; and now she's following him "on tour" for whatever new song he's released. Nathan isn't a social media person but I have the impression he jumps in a plane and flies to Pa. whenever he wants, not running it by mommy and daddy and bringing Jeb and Jud with him to chaperone. So yeah with all that time, both of them are acting like regular 27-28 yr olds with their gfs. I think Nathan/his gf have posted kissing pics before - one was a cheek kiss but another was on the lips; and a few other pics that were basically them hip thrusting into each other. And Law and his gf post videos showing them alone watching tv etc. w/ no family member there, yeah they can and do kiss as much as they want. Good for them but yeah Ma and Pa Bates are delusional if they think that anyone believes that their "rules" apply to anyone but the 18 yr old daughters engaged to 20 yr old guys. They control all of their daughters + they are able to control the sons in law that come in young (Travis; Bobby; Brandon) and don't know any better, but aside from that they have zero control here.

I hope it was nothing in Tori or Whit's families - bc those 2 idiots got together w/ Josie - to do a photo shoot w the 3 newborns with Willow (and I'm sure Tori and Whit's other kids) breathing all over the newborns. So yeah if Tori or Whit's families had any issues, those could now have been passed to Josie - who doesn't ordinarily see them as much - as she spent July 4 with the Balka side. Maybe it was Erin's family - though hope not there too - as didn't Erin have covid pretty bad last year so her kids got exposed then by just being in the same home.

IDK how they’re exactly raising their kids and what is different from the Duggars but they’re doing something right. He ran to his presents and before opening multiple bags he asked - is this for both of us. And Derick responded it’s for you bc it’s your birthday but you can share; and then asks the same question again for the next one. Too cute that he was worried about his brother getting something too. While I don’t personally do it, I kind of understand making one of the gift bags cheese sticks/go gurts/and dates. I presume those are some of his favorite snacks. Maybe they don’t buy them all the time. It just makes it seem like more presents for a 4 yr old at a time where money may be tight if Derick is full time studying for the bar and maybe some part time GrubHub or whatever but hasn’t started a full time law job yet.