charmed1

Gah! Her voice is the stuff of nightmares.

I’m flipping back and forth between this and The Equalizer. So glad I missed the yammy Kimmy time.

No way would Shrek and ofShrek fill out a FAFSA.

How does liposuction affect tattooed skin? Will her tatts shrivel up like shrinky dinks?

The documentary left me with a few questions. I wonder if Simon/Shimon’s abbreviated jail time in Israel was pandemic related. How old is he really? The dates of birth on his many fake IDs range from 1978 to 1990. Where is his family? His mother gave the impression that she’d washed her hands of him. Has he scammed her and others in his family? Who is Peter? All we learned was that he’s this douche’s “bodyguard,” but who is he really? I wanted to scream at the journalists. Their Barney Fife-like surveillance skills nearly got that woman killed.

This photo made me reach for my pepper spray.

They “blessed” the house and then walked away triumphantly holding hands in the air as if they’d just passed ground breaking legislation or something.

The grandma is dressed alike too, omg!

They’re dressed like back-up dancers for Paula Abdul 35 years ago.

Their boobs look soo painful. I don’t understand how they don’t suffer from major back or shoulder pain.

Florian looks like a vitamin deficient skull with a beard.

Because we iz bee-yig.

Darcey is perpetually 12 years old. I can see her writing this whole stupid thing in her Trapper Keeper. “My boyfriend will propose to me on the beach. He’ll have long hair and an unbuttoned shirt just like Fabio. Then we’ll have a twin wedding with Stacey and our dad will walk us both down the aisle.”

Did Stacey get her eyebrows tattooed?

How romantic. A beach proposal in Miami. I’m waiting on the random homeless guy and cigarette butts littering the sand.

I spent a lot of nights partying and coming home at dawn. I also didn’t have two little kids at home.

I want to style Gino’s little patch of hair. Like maybe use the tiny little Marcel curlers on it, or throw some finger waves in it. Or maybe dye it red and shave an outline of a baseball cap in it.

Memphis has a tramp stamp. One of her many bad decisions.

Ha! Her new man is tricking her off and Mike is inconveniencing her. Mike is too dim to see that he’s old news.

No thank you. No one asked for this. I don’t want to watch Sojaforeplay.

Darcey’s mom looked like she was on the toilet.

She looked terrified of him and couldn’t get into her car fast enough.

Ew, this guy is so disgusting. This girl looks like a Disney channel child actress. He looks like he’s out with his daughter.

I can’t think of Roger without hearing his narcissistic ode to himself set to the theme song of Mad Men. 🎵Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger, Marketing, Marketing, Genius, Genius, Meeee..🎵

She spent $1125. What a weirdo.