Tidelands - General Discussion

[Meredith Quill]

Discuss Here!

[BaskingsharkGTX]

Is anyone discussing this show? It is so wildly, outrageously, incredibly terrible in every possible way. I highly recommend it! 

[NeenerNeener]

Yep, it's terrible but I loved it.

It looks like Australia has the same limited number of actors that Great Britain has. Now I know where Jimmy Proudman, the Cleverman and Ander Ellesedil ended up when their shows were canceled. I wonder how many other actors I'll recognize in Season Two, assuming there is one. 

[paulvdb]

I can agree with that. In addition to the familiar faces you mentioned there was also Gannicus from Spartacus, Elena from the Fast & Furious movies and Nick, the main character in the Australian teen drama series Heartbreak High that I watched in the 1990s.

[luckyroll3]

I third that this show was so terrible, but I also adored it.  I couldn't stop watching.  Or comparing to the Freeform show, Sirens.

[BaskingsharkGTX]

My overall impression of this show is that it is like porn with all the actual porn cut out of it except that people in porn are usually better at acting than the people in this.

It's hard to pick my favorite piece of terribleness here but I did enjoy how in the second episode, Elsa Pataky told her Minion Dude "Cahl MahkTeeeyur eez bahk een tawn. Ah wahnt yu tu sedooose hehr." and he went to the bar and acted like Pepe le Pew and Cal asked him how he could stand the mosquitoes in the tidelands he said "I do not mind ze mosquitoes. I like to be sucked." while wiggling his eyebrows. 

It is also a bold acting choice on Elsa's part to make her character speak with an exaggerated Yuropeeeahn aksont, especially given that she doesn't sound anything like that in real life.

Speaking of Elsa's Minion Dude, Augie seems to be really, really, creepily interested in the idea of his sister having sex with the guy. He's brought it up about 5 times in 3 episodes, like when the guy was in front of their truck and he was like "He's right there if you want to bang him!" Like, simmer down with the weird voyeuristy incesty vibes there, Auggie. 

Edited January 2, 2019 by BaskingsharkGTX

[MaggieG]

This show is batshit and I love it! I just finished episode 5. Dylan is hot. I'm kinda rooting for Auggie. 

[ribboninthesky1]

On 1/2/2019 at 8:51 AM, BaskingsharkGTX said:

It's hard to pick my favorite piece of terribleness here but I did enjoy how in the second episode, Elsa Pataky told her Minion Dude "Cahl MahkTeeeyur eez bahk een tawn. Ah wahnt yu tu sedooose hehr." and he went to the bar and acted like Pepe le Pew and Cal asked him how he could stand the mosquitoes in the tidelands he said "I do not mind ze mosquitoes. I like to be sucked." while wiggling his eyebrows. 

Ha! I was rolling during that scene.  The entire season is basically a bunch of nonsensical stuff, mostly with Cal telling someone to fuck off or Adrielle telling someone to do something, and then later, inexplicably telling them to do the opposite. Dylan especially. 

I thought the Freeform show did a better job with the writing and mythology of the Sirens, but Tidelands was better acted (outside of Pataky). 

[BaskingsharkGTX]

On 1/4/2019 at 1:11 AM, ribboninthesky1 said:

Adrielle telling someone to do something, and then later, inexplicably telling them to do the opposite.

I also like how she keeps walking through the water with her long, flowing, nipple-revealing robes dragging in it. Like, I know you're a siren/mermaid/whatever but isn't that uncomfortably damp? 

The bit where Cal was staring out to sea (which she also does a lot) and Adrielle sloshes up to her through the surf and walks round her in circles going all "Cahl MahkTeeyur, waht has brawt yu bak to zis tahn thaht haaas no luurve fuhr yu? We shahl fahnd aht!" and then just walks off while Cal just stares at her was also extremely funny. Like, haven't sirens/mermaids/whatever heard of personal space?

I didn't know there was a Freeform siren show too - a lot of people I know in the industry were trying to get a mermaid/siren show off the ground during the YA fantasy boom in the 2000's (after vampires and werewolves were done to death, sirens were pretty much the only mythical creature left with enough brand recognition) but nobody could figure out how to get it right. 

Based on this, I think they still haven't!

[ribboninthesky1]

On 1/5/2019 at 8:10 AM, BaskingsharkGTX said:

The bit where Cal was staring out to sea (which she also does a lot) and Adrielle sloshes up to her through the surf and walks round her in circles going all "Cahl MahkTeeyur, waht has brawt yu bak to zis tahn thaht haaas no luurve fuhr yu? We shahl fahnd aht!" and then just walks off while Cal just stares at her was also extremely funny. Like, haven't sirens/mermaids/whatever heard of personal space?

Personal space was an issue for Sirens on the Freeform show as well, heh. Your translations are hilarious!

[MaggieG]

Did they seriously kill off all of the hot guys? Cory, Auggie and Dylan? I'm hoping Dylan survives. I know I sound shallow, but let's face it, I didn't watch this show for the stellar acting and dialogue :)

[checker]

After five episodes, I'm out. Some of the scenery was sensational, but all I hear when I watch is, "Augie! Aauugie! Augiee!! AAUUGIEEE!" and "Cal, CAL, CAL!!!". They're constantly running after each other. Why don't they just stick together!?

[Enginerd]

Watched the whole thing this week. I did not expect it to be good. I expected pretty, entertaining fluff. It did not really live up to those expectations. 

So very little plot, yet so many questions:

1. Why do so many of the characters wear jeans, boots, and leather jackets in the tropical heat? You can tell it's hot; they're always sweaty. Maybe they're cooking their brains; that would explain a few things.
2. Why didn't the mother take the stolen inheritance money and run far away from this creepy town, since she hates it so much? She doesn't even like her family; what reason is there to stay? Do they elucidate any of her motivations at all? She seems like pointless filler. 
3. Do the Tidelanders have no concerns about possible incest in their rampant liaisons, given that they don't know who their parents are, but believe them to be from fairly small communities of townsmen and sirens? Or is incest totes OK in their polyamorous, pansexual society?
4. Why isn't Arielle a better negotiator after hundreds of years of life and drug dealing? She'll murder or blind anyone on a whim; she has no qualms about fighting; but her shard supplier names any price and she's like, "okay, I'll pay it." ???
5. Did Cal's dad get lured off by a Siren, or just get murdered by Arielle? If it was the Siren, is one of both of those child Tidelanders his?
6. How did this show get greenlit?
7. Why did any of the actors sign up for this?
8. Where was Arielle supposed to be from? Her accent sounded fakely generic Eastern European, but at least once when she said something that I think was meant to be foreign and cryptic, it was Spanish.
9. Did the entire script fit on one sheet of notes?
Script:
-Fights
-Sex
-Murder
-Visions of "the prophecy"
-Wading at the beach
-Stupid pointless chitchat; don't bother writing it; it doesn't matter what they say. Adlib.
Repeat until there's enough hours of footage.
10. Was this entire show a syphilitic psychosis of the promiscuous town?

Such a good premise. Such a phoned-in execution.  But a second season is unlikely, since they killed off almost all the characters.

[NeenerNeener]

On 1/3/2020 at 1:53 PM, Enginerd said:

Such a good premise. Such a phoned-in execution.  But a second season is unlikely, since they killed off almost all the characters.

I just checked The Futon Critic web site and this is still listed as "Fate to be determined", so we might get a second season, but a whole year has gone by without a renewal yet so I wouldn't bet money on it. On the other hand, Netflix went years between the two seasons of The OA, so anything is possible.

I'm not sure where Arielle is supposed to be from, but the actress who plays her is Spanish (Elsa Pataky, aka Mrs. Chris Hemsworth).

 

This was cheesy, mindless fun, so if we get another season someday I'll probably watch it.