S01.E04: Mother's Milk

[ElectricBoogaloo]

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The once illustrious, once wealthy Melroses are in peril. Caught up in the wreckage of broken promises, child-rearing, adultery and assisted suicide, Patrick finds his wife Mary consumed by motherhood, his mother in thrall to a New Age foundation, and his young son Robert understanding far more than he should. But even as the family struggles against the pull of its ever-present past, a new generation brings a new tenderness, and the possibility of change.

Promo:

[WaltersHair]

Just discovered this series and got caught up tonight. I have mixed feelings about it. Cumberbatch is killing it, but there's nothing to offset the perpetual gloom that hangs over Patrick's life. I want to strangle his mother (well Dad too as a  given), but Patrick should fight for that French home and then redecorate it with a vengeance.  The actor that played his best friend in the last episode was amazing and I miss him in this one.

I purchased the books on Kindle.

Hope the last installment brings some closure.

[100Proof]

What did mom say at the end... <something> beautiful spot?

[Cheezwiz]

3 hours ago, WaltersHair said:

Just discovered this series and got caught up tonight. I have mixed feelings about it. Cumberbatch is killing it, but there's nothing to offset the perpetual gloom that hangs over Patrick's life. I want to strangle his mother (well Dad too as a  given), but Patrick should fight for that French home and then redecorate it with a vengeance.  The actor that played his best friend in the last episode was amazing and I miss him in this one.

I agree - I kept hoping that something postive would break for Patrick and his family, but he can't seem to outrun his past. I also wanted him to fight tooth and nail for that beautiful house rather than caving to the New Agey scam artists, but perhaps he was just exhausted, and a bit ambivalent given the awful things that happened to him there as a child.

I felt like his friend Johnny need to be there to smack some sense into him. I don't think his marriage will survive, but I hope he finds some measure of contentment in the final episode. This has been an excellent show with a stellar performance by Benedict, but emotionally draining to watch.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

On the one hand, I totally understand not wanting your childhood home to be given to a pretentious asshat like Seamus.

But on the other hand, it's not Patrick's house. It's his mother's house. She bought it with HER money so she is free to do whatever the hell she wants with it. I never understand when people with rich parents get so possessive about stuff that belongs to their parents (like their money).

If you want money, get a job and earn it but don't expect your parents to just give you all of their money. They can do whatever they want with THEIR OWN MONEY. They can give it away. They can burn it. They can use it as toilet paper. They don't have to give it to you.

Same goes for any of their possessions, including the house(s) they own. They can sell the house. They can give the house to some rando. But they don't have to give it to you.

Whenever I hear people talking about their parents' money as "my future inheritance," it makes me kind of hope that their parents end up being like George Costanza's parents and they start spending it all before they die.

Man, Patrick is an ass. If you're unhappy with your wife then be honest with her and then you guys can decide if you want to work on your relationship or get a divorce. But what not to do? Fuck your friend while your wife and kids are sleeping down the hall.

Speaking of Julia, her snotty attitude about being too nice to kids just made me roll me eyes. Yes, there is such a thing as overindulgent parenting but if there's anything that rubs me the wrong way, it's parents with a superiority complex.

[Eyes High]

Patrick blew through his inheritance years ago and now he’s whining about not getting the house as well? STFU.

Patrick is sniffing after the odious Julia and has the gall to complain about Mary not having enough love left for him? STFU.

Is he intended to be this unsympathetic?

And I agree about Patrick’s entitled attitude regarding his inheritance. A book reviewer for “Mother’s Milk” noted that if Patrick put a fraction of his energy used for self-pity over his inheritance towards his wife and children, he’d be a much happier man.

The show is as gorgeous as ever, and this was an improvement on the awful “Never Mind,” but it’s a slog.

[100Proof]

4 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

But on the other hand, it's not Patrick's house. It's his mother's house. She bought it with HER money so she is free to do whatever the hell she wants with it. I never understand when people with rich parents get so possessive about stuff that belongs to their parents (like their money).

If you want money, get a job and earn it but don't expect your parents to just give you all of their money. They can do whatever they want with THEIR OWN MONEY. They can give it away. They can burn it. They can use it as toilet paper. They don't have to give it to you.

Same goes for any of their possessions, including the house(s) they own. They can sell the house. They can give the house to some rando. But they don't have to give it to you.

 

This just made me think how the very nature of what it is and means being a family, can possibly make you come to that conclusion. Obviously I have no idea about your situation, but the 'planet' on live on, in normal, loving, (at least in spirit, lol), tight knit families, parents bequeathing their estate to their children is pretty much de rigueur.

Now, otoh, in families where there is no love and who pretty much despise each other, as in Patrick's case, well.....

Point being, whether or not someone is granted any inheritance, is directly correlated to the love and bond they have together  or conversely, the coldness and hatred they have for one another.

Having said that, if parents want to spend everything they have on themselves that's perfectly OK. In life, it's is theirs solely to enjoy. However, most parents don't wind up doing that in reality. There is always going to be some assets left, whether it's a house or just a coffee mug to leave to their children.

Patrick seemed to be the more noble one here. He and his wife intend to have his mother stay and taken care of with them back in London despite everything. It was his mother being the tone deaf shit till the very end. She never cared one wit for her child

Edited June 3, 2018 by 100Proof

[WaltersHair]

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But on the other hand, it's not Patrick's house. It's his mother's house. She bought it with HER money so she is free to do whatever the hell she wants with it. I never understand when people with rich parents get so possessive about stuff that belongs to their parents (like their money).

If you want money, get a job and earn it but don't expect your parents to just give you all of their money. They can do whatever they want with THEIR OWN MONEY. They can give it away. They can burn it. They can use it as toilet paper. They don't have to give it to you.

Wow. That wasn't what I was talking about at all.  I wanted him to fight for the house because it was a family home and refuge of sorts. He could turn it around into a place that his own family could love and feel safe. I'd have that opinion if it was a mansion or a cottage in the middle of nowhere.  The show mentioned he was a barrister, right? So he's making his own money. 

The gesture of leaving the house to a charlatan like Seamus is exactly the kind of thoughtlessness Patrick had to grown up with.

Edited June 3, 2018 by WaltersHair

[tennisgurl]

This show is really good, but its so sad all of the time. I really want Patrick to finally get his addictions and get his life together, but it seems like it would be an uphill battle. Patrick can be a whiny asshole, especially cheating on his wife, but he does seem to want to do better, but he always falls back on old habits, and struggles especially when dealing with his family. Guy is a mess, and I dont blame Mary for wanting to move on, but it feels like he wants to be a decent person, but is so self destructive, and hasn't really dealt with his horrible childhood and family, that he cant make it. 

As for the inheritance, I dont blame him at all for being pissed at his mom for giving away the house and all the money to this new age scam artist. Yeah, its her money, and she can technically do anything she wants with it, but throwing it away instead of giving it to your family is still a crappy thing to do in my book. Really, it didnt seem to be so much about the money, but about her getting rid of the one place Patrick and his family ever felt at home. It obviously has bad memories, but he also felt at home there, and so did his kids, and now his mom is throwing it away for some guy who has charmed her. It also seems like this is a pattern for her, putting some vague idea of "doing good" over helping her family. She never stood up for him or protected him from his father, even though she knew the guy was a monster (even if she didnt know the full extent) and while he was a young man in the throes of addiction, his mom was off doing some kind of charity thing abroad. Not that doing charity work is bad, but, as Patrick said, "she wants to help anyone who she isnt related to", and I think this is just the last in that long line of doing doing empty gestures to supposedly help people, while not helping people in her life who need it. He even said that he would understand if the house was going to be a homeless shelter or a hospital or something, but instead, his mom is giving away his home and their families inheritance for some stupid cult sounding thing. She couldn't even leave something to her grand kids? Yeah the money is certainly insulting, but Patrick and Mary both work (Patrick is a barrister, and Mary works in publishing) so its not like they just waited around for this money, but he seemed to be more upset at mom choosing other random people over her family yet again. And, its not like she even earned her money. She inherited everything from her dad to start with. 

I know I am gonna miss the house too. Its a lovely respite from the depressing nature of the show. 

[Eyes High]

4 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

This show is really good, but its so sad all of the time. I really want Patrick to finally get his addictions and get his life together, but it seems like it would be an uphill battle. Patrick can be a whiny asshole, especially cheating on his wife, but he does seem to want to do better, but he always falls back on old habits, and struggles especially when dealing with his family. Guy is a mess, and I dont blame Mary for wanting to move on, but it feels like he wants to be a decent person, but is so self destructive, and hasn't really dealt with his horrible childhood and family, that he cant make it. 

As for the inheritance, I dont blame him at all for being pissed at his mom for giving away the house and all the money to this new age scam artist. Yeah, its her money, and she can technically do anything she wants with it, but throwing it away instead of giving it to your family is still a crappy thing to do in my book. Really, it didnt seem to be so much about the money, but about her getting rid of the one place Patrick and his family ever felt at home. It obviously has bad memories, but he also felt at home there, and so did his kids, and now his mom is throwing it away for some guy who has charmed her. It also seems like this is a pattern for her, putting some vague idea of "doing good" over helping her family. She never stood up for him or protected him from his father, even though she knew the guy was a monster (even if she didnt know the full extent) and while he was a young man in the throes of addiction, his mom was off doing some kind of charity thing abroad. Not that doing charity work is bad, but, as Patrick said, "she wants to help anyone who she isnt related to", and I think this is just the last in that long line of doing doing empty gestures to supposedly help people, while not helping people in her life who need it. He even said that he would understand if the house was going to be a homeless shelter or a hospital or something, but instead, his mom is giving away his home and their families inheritance for some stupid cult sounding thing. She couldn't even leave something to her grand kids? Yeah the money is certainly insulting, but Patrick and Mary both work (Patrick is a barrister, and Mary works in publishing) so its not like they just waited around for this money, but he seemed to be more upset at mom choosing other random people over her family yet again. And, its not like she even earned her money. She inherited everything from her dad to start with. 

I know I am gonna miss the house too. Its a lovely respite from the depressing nature of the show. 

Considering Patrick blew through his cash inheritance years before (mostly on drugs if I understand correctly), which is the very reason he has to work for a living, he has no right to whine about his mother failing to preserve an inheritance for future generations, since he obviously didn’t care to do so. Nor has Patrick any right whatsoever to comment on whatever his mom does with the house, because whatever else you may say about her, at least she didn’t sell it off to buy drugs. She showed more care for her legacy than Patrick ever did for his, and frankly Patrick hasn’t exactly shown himself worthy of inheriting a valuable asset given how he treated his cash inheritance years before.

Edited June 4, 2018 by Eyes High

[100Proof]

Maybe David Icke's right.... lizard people walk among us.... and they marry and have children. But at least lizard mom didn't sell her house for drugs! lol

Edited June 4, 2018 by 100Proof

[tennisgurl]

59 minutes ago, Eyes High said:

Considering Patrick blew through his cash inheritance years before (mostly on drugs if I understand correctly), which is the very reason he has to work for a living, he has no right to whine about his mother failing to preserve an inheritance for future generations, since he obviously didn’t care to do so. Nor has Patrick any right whatsoever to comment on whatever his mom does with the house, because whatever else you may say about her, at least she didn’t sell it off to buy drugs.

Well, considering she seemed to be high 24/7 from what we saw of her, I assume some of that money went to drugs! How much money did he have when the show started? How much was his parents money, and how much was his? I thought that at least a bit of it was his, as I dont remember him being too worried about his dads will or anything when he died. I dont think Patrick is without blame in all of this, he a deeply messed up person who desperately needs to get his shit together, and is rather self centered, and I do feel badly for his mom, being such a sad, broken down old woman who was terrified of her monster husband for most of her life and dulled her unhappiness with drugs. But, in this episode, I was on Patrick's side. As I said, the issue isnt so much the money, at least to me, its her constantly putting putting other random people over the people she is supposed to love. I think most of his anger towards her has nothing to do with the house, its about his issues with his mom leaving him with his father, and not protecting him from his dads sadism. Thats why he had a flashback to his mom leaving him alone with his father, presumably when she finally dumped her husband. I would bet she waited awhile to actually come back for him, and even when she did, he still had to be alone with his dad, and we know what a nightmare that was. The whole episode was more about him being resentful towards his mother for not doing more for him years ago, and Patrick's issues with his own family and how dysfunction is being passed from generation to generation, then about the house itself and being disinherited. The house is just the final kick in the teeth of neglect from Patrick's perspective.

Edited June 4, 2018 by tennisgurl

[kieyra]

A meandering episode with no catharsis. The whole thing is strung together pretty loosely. This episode definitely wasn't the direction I expected after Patrick's reveal last week.

Does his mother realize his father molested him, or just doesn't care and never did? I suppose maybe they're saving it for her death scene, but it felt like it belonged there this week.

Binged this all tonight, kind of mixed feelings. The pilot was tight, next episode really taught you to be terrified yof Patrick's father ... now it's kind of ... eh, parties in the countryside and heirs male and inheritance drama, with some tepid mid-life crisis booze and adultery thrown in.

I think they needed to frame this differently, regardless of the source material. Needed more of 1982 Patrick's downward spiral interspersed with flashbacks and flash-forwards. The frenetic energy of the pilot, while over the top, was what hooked me; now the most interesting thing in a given episode is that he's getting it on with Nurse Jenny again.

Eh. Maybe next week will have a breakthrough. I know you don't necessarily get closure from what he's been through, but seeing him hit rock bottom in the pilot suggested a specific kind of story, still hoping we get that one. 

P.S., not for $10k could I have spotted Indira Varma behind all the wig and glasses in the 1982 pilot scene. I knew she was familiar, but the best guess I had was Rachel Griffiths (also under a lot of wig, makeup, glasses). Especially impressive since I can reliably spot Indira Varma in almost anything.

It was also frightening watching Allison Williams trying to act with BC, like when you're watching the olympics and you're sure that snowboarder is going to bust his head open on the next 1080. But she held her own.

Edited June 4, 2018 by kieyra

[Eyes High]

7 hours ago, kieyra said:

It was also frightening watching Allison Williams trying to act with BC, like when you're watching the olympics and you're sure that snowboarder is going to bust his head open on the next 1080. But she held her own.

 

Allison Williams' character rejecting Patrick, calling him on his bullshit, and abandoning him never to be seen again was one of the only real surprises of the series. A lot of this series follows the same predictable, tedious beats--blah blah upper-class twits treating each other horribly blah blah drinking blah blah adultery blah blah witty, ironical commentary on how fucked up everyone is blah blah Tragic Past blah blah--but that was genuinely refreshing.

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A meandering episode with no catharsis. The whole thing is strung together pretty loosely. This episode definitely wasn't the direction I expected after Patrick's reveal last week.

Yes, but Patrick was 30 (?) when he seemed to turn a corner in "Some Hope," and do people really change all that much after they hit 30? Patrick had already spent most of his adult life to that point being a terrible human being, so it's not surprising that in "Mother's Milk" we see him...still being a terrible human being.

Edited June 4, 2018 by Eyes High

[zoey1996]

Patrick seems to have had a miserable childhood, for the most part.  Rather appalling that he's inflicting some of the same on his children.  He may not be sadistic like his father, but in others ways - the excessive drinking, the violent outbursts, basically, his lack of self-control - he's damaging his children much like he was damaged.  Thus far, he's unable to break the cycle.

His drunken run to the liquor store - i kept thinking he'd be pulled over and arrested, or total the rental he was driving.  Loved Blythe Danner as the aunt; believable as his mother's sister.  (Did I get the relationship right?)

So, looking forward to the last episode.

I read a small sample of one of the books (available on Amazon), and the writing is beautiful, with fully developed sentences and paragraphs.  

[Gasmenagerie]

On 6/2/2018 at 10:54 PM, 100Proof said:

What did mom say at the end... <something> beautiful spot?

 Was trying to figure this out, too!

[100Proof]

2 hours ago, Gasmenagerie said:

 Was trying to figure this out, too!

Got it. She says, "Love... Lovely... Spot"

Wonder what it means being at the very end of the episode. Hmmmmm

Edited June 6, 2018 by 100Proof

[Gasmenagerie]

Ah!  Thanks!!

[Kirsty]

Another good episode. But I'm gonna start with a few criticisms:

I enjoy flashbacks, but the show keeps flashing back to the same episode and the same scenes. It's like they don't have enough footage. I take it Patrick must have an entire childhood of bad memories of his monstrous father, presumably many summers in France, many examples of his mother getting stoned and disappearing, and probably many incidences of child abuse. But the show clearly has the Episode Two footage and almost nothing else.

Okay, maybe I don't like the actress's face, but I thought from her first scene that Mary (Patrick's now wife) was nice, mousy, and boring. Obviously she's a good, healthy person and she seems like a wonderful parent, which can't be said of most characters on this show. But in terms of entertainment value, she can't compare with Patrick, Julia, Bridget, or any of the characters of their parents' generation. I guess we never got to see her having fun, and she has a thankless role in this episode. The show never sold her to me, basically, except as Healthy and Good. But you can be healthy and good and have a bit of personality!

It didn't click with me that Julia is like Patrick's mother until she drove away from the house like a maniac, just as his mother had in episode two. And then their affair made a kind of sense. Why would he be drawn to a pleasant, healthy, stable introvert like Mary, after all, when there was a wilder, unhealthier addict and worse parent like Julia in the vicinity?

As an Irish person I didn't love that the only Irish character on a show about English aristos is a scam artist taking advantage of an old woman, whose accent they imitate.

Anyway, I was appalled at how blase Patrick appeared to be about cheating on his wife while on holiday with his wife, kids, mother and mother-in-law! WTF. He obviously took his wife for granted, and the way he resented the attention and love she gave their kids -- as though they were his competition -- seemed childish. Also, I was appalled by his bender in the USA. His outbursts of rage must have been upsetting for his children to witness. And probably the worst thing he did to the children was when he drunkenly picked up his son and jumped into the pool with him; what a dick.

But it rings true? I mean, he's much improved. The only drug he's taking is Prozac or something. He's not a sadist or a sociopath (or a rapist) like his father. He's leading a relatively normal life now with a career and a family. He sometimes tries to be a kind, decent parent. His wife is a much better mother to their kids than Eleanor was to him... Their generation is a huge step forward on the previous generation! But he's still messed up. And he was holidaying in the house where his father first raped him, and with the mother who failed to protect him. Even the way he resents the attention his wife gives to his children makes sense, if I assume that he wants to be mothered by her, because his own mother failed him.

On 04/06/2018 at 5:14 AM, kieyra said:

Does his mother realize his father molested him, or just doesn't care and never did?

Yeah, that's a question that needed answering this week. We should have got more insight into Patrick's past relationship with his mother. Sure, he's clearly still howling with rage that she didn't protect him from his father. And the real betrayal isn't giving away the house but leaving him behind, when she left his father. But that last bit is the only new piece of information we got. It was the only new flashback and it wasn't enough.

The funniest parts for me were Patrick going "Whose mother is worse, yours or mine?" at the table, as well as Blythe Danner's character saying that "Children should be seen and not heard" is too liberal. That was wonderful! Also, Mary's mother (Kettle? Petal?) was very enjoyable.

Edited June 8, 2018 by Kirsty