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Eyes High

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  1. But the door with Janet is just a lovely, beautified, sanitized gloss on a very ugly, nasty and nihilistic idea. If the method for ending their existence wasn’t walking through a door but Janet lovingly handing them a special metaphysical gun, a special metaphysical noose or special metaphysical sleeping pills, I doubt people would be moaning and weeping over the magnificent beauty of the affair, but the end result would be the same and at least guns or sleeping pills would be more intellectually honest. Most people who have lost someone they cared about to suicide cried buckets, but they weren’t crying about how lovely and gorgeous it was, I can tell you that.
  2. They’re not choosing in your example, though. They’re dying for certain of illness or a fatal injury, and they have a choice whether or not to struggle to resist it. The difference is between someone who’s drowning in a well with no way out and stops struggling to put an end to their agony, and someone who decides to end it all and jump into a well to drown. No one was forcing Jason, Chidi or Eleanor to go through the door. They weren’t terminally ill. If they wanted to hang around for all eternity, no one would have stopped them. So yes, the comparison to suicide absolutely holds, and I found it not only nihilistic but shockingly irresponsible. If the show were stripped of the metaphysical trappings and concluded with several of the main characters deciding to blow their brains out because life was too boring and they’d had enough, there would be an enormous outcry, but instead everyone seems to be sobbing about how beautiful, lovely and moving suicide is. It’s bullshit.
  3. The ending seemed like a strong endorsement of suicide. And as for the “oh it’s not about suicide, the door is a metaphor for human mortality” argument, the comparison falls apart because most of us don’t die by choice or wish to die by choice. Most of us will be dragged from existence kicking and screaming. The idea that they’ll embrace suicide as a solution is comforting to you? That is extremely fucked up. And frankly, what worries me about the show’s rosy depiction of suicide is that mentally fragile people will watch the finale and think that suicide is a lovely, beautiful thing. I mean, yes, theoretically, all of us on Earth can go “whenever we’re ready” (a much nicer way of putting it than dying by suicide) but it’s downright nihilistic to suggest that that’s a choice to feel good about and to actively embrace.
  4. Melissa’s “White Male Rage” song was adorable...as were Colin’s “confessions” that he worked out to Joker every day and that he watched The Irishman alone on Christmas Day. Hee. Hearing all the groans in response to “Just hanging” was a great reminder of why live audiences are so much fun. The “Aw, man, I’m all out of cash!” sketch had a very old-school humour feel to it.
  5. This show is surprisingly wholesome and sweet. Aside from the mask conceit, it’s pretty much Celebrity Karaoke, and like the best karaoke nights, it’s an enthusiastic, generous and supportive atmosphere.
  6. I'm very happy for Wayne Brady. I remember when he used to sing songs on Whose Line Is It Anyway (many years ago). Good for him! Bring it on. I love this show.
  7. I saw that! Very cute. The part of the ad where Mikey and Heidi's characters are arguing over the snow boots was the best. "If you can do it JUST DO IT!" "You need to LEARN, NATHAN!" "Daddy's a dumbass!" If you look closely you can see the little girl playing their daughter cracking up.
  8. The Macy’s commercial must have been written by a parent. The bit about how the wool sweaters won’t fit over their heads had me howling. Streeter Seidell and Mikey Day, who are both parents, wrote the sketch according to Seidell’s Twitter, so yeah.
  9. I did laugh at this bit from the TVLine finale interview with Alec Berg. I guess T.J. Miller really burned his bridges there: I read a Fortune post-finale interview with Mike Judge and Alec Berg, and apparently the rat thing came from a tech consultant talking about someone in their building using a sonic pest repellent and their apartment being flooded with fleeing rats and bugs. They also made clear that the rat bit wasn't something that was planned from the beginning of the show or anything. Laurie always seemed like someone who would end up on top no matter what shady business she was involved in, so I was surprised by the reveal that she was in prison (and for something pretty terrible, since the orange jumpsuit is used for medium/high security prisons, as Berg said).
  10. As I said, lots of JLo-level celebrities with all her wealth, resources and good genes, whatever their gender, do not look half as good at 50. JLo has taken excellent care of herself for many years and it shows. At a certain point, the way you've been taking care of your body (or abusing) catches up with you; in JLo's case, it's paying off. And this whole idea of "Oh, if I had what she has, I would look that amazing as well!" You wouldn't. Most celebrities don't. Frankly, I detect a strong undercurrent of misogyny in all the complaints about JLo daring to brag about how hot she is (the audacity!) and all her projects, especially when most SNL hosts are there, you know, to promote their projects. Chance bragged about welcoming a second daughter and made sure to mention his previous donation to the Chicago educational system, and everyone thought this was adorable. Harry Styles talked about his musical career, and no one begrudged him that. But you know, how dare a woman take pride in anything she has accomplished. She's allowed to have great success with Hustlers and lots of opportunities like performing at the Super Bowl, but how dare she talk about it. She's allowed to be so hot at 50 that SNL can write a whole sketch about how much more gorgeous she is than two pretty actresses 15+ years her junior (Aidy and Kate), but how fucking dare she rub it in. That bitch! There's "great" and then there's "sufficiently hot to have multiple SNL sketches based on how hot you are." They're nowhere near the latter category.
  11. I don't buy this. Many A-list Hollywood actresses have access to everything JLo has in the fitness/nutrition/styling/surgery department and look like busted wax figurines at 50. Jennifer Aniston (50) and Gwyneth Paltrow (47) wish they could look that good. Credit where credit is due: she looks absolutely amazing. And she was absolutely stunning in the Corporal bit. That bombshell-type hair/makeup/dress really worked for her. ...With all that said, JLo was a pretty poor performer. For her big monologue song number, there was a "backing" vocal that drowned her out (deliberately, I imagine). I mean, if you need a backing vocal to cover up your live singing, maybe you shouldn't have bothered at all. She seemed nervous and stiff, and didn't have much to bring to the table other than her considerable hotness.
  12. Michael spends so much time at Athena's that he seems to live there already. Oliver Stark's a very handsome man, but Ryan Guzman is insanely hot even by primetime TV standards. I'm looking forward to the Hen/Karen foster storyline.
  13. Wallis Simpson had no beauty to speak of and the incredibly handsome David gave up a crown for her. It's not always about looks. Also, Camilla was apparently great fun and had a wonderful sense of humour, and I'm guessing fun was in desperately short supply among that set. The chin fits, and I agree that actresses with Camilla's chin would be few and far between. The casting folks have usually tried to find some sort of physical resemblance where there are distinctive physical features at play (Charles' ears), although with the more famous cast members they've been willing to work with what they have (John Lithgow's height, HBC's brown eyes, Olivia Colman's brown eyes, etc.).
  14. The "That's The Game" sketch was great. It devolved quickly from the dumb platitudes you see on "gritty" shows about drug dealers--"I was BORN in the game!!!"--to the guy getting schooled on the basics of business principles, which was hilarious. The TV Line reviewer noted that it seemed like a Key & Peele sketch, but maybe they were thinking of the Keanu movie (where the lead characters wound up being forced to pretend to be dangerous gangsters). The pre-tapes have been pretty good this season so far: Grouch, Tasty Toaster Tarts, Corporate Nightmare, and now this sketch were all bang-on imo. Cold open was wretched. No matter what your political orientation is, making fun of the impeachment hearings should be like shooting fish in a barrel, and that was the best they could come up with? I quite liked Harry Styles' monologue. He was charming, he wasn't visibly petrified like a lot of first-time hosts, and the bit with messing around with the piano was cute.
  15. Not only that, but it's all so over the top, especially for a relatively young show. Usually it takes several seasons for these shows to start throwing psychotic exes, tsunamis and limb amputations at their characters, as a result of continually upping the stakes. It took ER nine seasons to chop off Dr. Romano's arm in a horrible accident, for which the show got plenty of criticism for mindless grand guignol silliness, and this show threw in an amputation for one of their recurring characters in Season 3! They can't sustain this kind of pace. At this rate, Season 5 is going to feature a post-nuclear LA wasteland with the gang battling roving plague zombies.
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