S01.E09: Launch Off

[OnceSane]

Quote

Tensions arise between Gilda and Angela over the two launching their books, resulting in the two facing off again.

[queenjen]

I just realised that there's a rival Angela (Angie) Stone, from R&B Divas! Sweet, I'm going to watch it and compare. Auckland's Frankenstone is the most delusional of howife monsters. If I was into drinking games, I'd be doing a shot everytime she pulled that ghastly closed mouth smile that gives her a chin rivalling Jay Leno's. I know it's mean to pick at looks, what plucks my last nerve is the permanent attitude of superiority and smugness on her face. And that voice. Does she think it is soothing, mellifluous, feminine? It's just irritating. I want Gilda, she of the supreme subsonic shade, to OWN Ms Stone. You GO there, Gilda. And Gilda's book is far superior. I'll actually look in bookstores to buy it as opposed to libraries to borrow Angela's so I can fall about laughing at the delusion of the beast.

[OnceSane]

I find it rich that Angela is accusing anyone of being fake.  And is it fake to think her launch sucked monkey dick, but not say anything at the event as to not ruin it?  I don't think so.  Louise (& Anne) has no problem telling anyone--especially Angela--when she thinks something sucks, so I'm sure she/they would have said it to her face at some point…and without prompting from Racist Julia.

Gilda's launch looked fun!  And much more packed & professional than Angela's mess of an event.  And what an asshole move by Angela to try to upstage Gilda…it didn't work and just made Angela look foolish. 

[strongoxman]

Oh my, where to begin?

Angela's event was disgracefully bad, and I'm with Louise RE: overselling and underdelivering.  Of course Julia was meddling and playing runtelldat--deplorable.  That one needs to go--she literally adds no value to the cast.

Watching Ann and Louise react to the ridiculousness at Angela's event was so entertaining.  Contrast literally everything to Gilda's event, which looked like a lot more fun.

I really enjoyed seeing Gilda suck at speaking, though--I was starting to wonder if there was anything she wasn't kick-ass at.  Michelle was really aggressive towards Angela, but since I really don't care for Angela, I won't hold it against Michelle for too long.

Glad to see the Michelle/Ann hip-hop lesson scene that was inexplicably in the episode description a few weeks ago.  Watching Ann do well and enjoy herself was a trip, especially the twerking!

The one thing I found strange was how friendly Michelle was towards Julia.  Maybe she's just a better person than I am, but it looked a little beyond just being civil and cordial for the sake of a working relationship.

[queenjen]

Angela: "the dance is a symbolisation of freedom and expression and ... who you want to be!!' The first of her neologisms at the most depressing and tawdry book launch I've ever seen. That dancer, grinning like she'd dropped a dance party drug half an hour before, flicking her skirt up and exposing her underwear, what WAS that?!! She was dressed in a ballet style white dress with some ballet style moves but the grinning was just weird and offputting. Like Angela, who clutched her to her bosom once she finally gave it up and came to rest at the hostess' side. Meanwhile, the unfortunate Auckland teens that maybe Angela's assistant found at a school bus stop, are standing there freezing with their shirts off.  Very tacky, very disjointed. The room, for all Angela's 'hard work' was just a boring wood detailed room, that she decides to have a White Party in? (no need to feel threatened, Kyle Richards!) I don't blame Anne for dropping the fact, not once, not twice, but three times that she had spent 2k on a dress for the evening. And the 15 or so other guests (WHAT a turnout, keep it real, Angela!) were also dressed to the nines. I really felt for them, they were corralled into this boring wooden chamber with nary a book or Angela in sight for ages, without a bar or food. I would have left and not felt even slightly guilty.

Then Angela drops another neologism when she is speaking to Anne, Louise and Racist Julia. She describes the book's conspicuous absence  'as like a  little baby I've been waiting to born, really'. Everyone is pissed off, by now. There is a brief reprieve when Angela reveals that they are now going to process to ANOTHER room for the book launch. The 2 half naked teenage boys open a door to reveal...another room exactly the same as the first room, except with copies of 'Being Real' in it. And Louise sums it up " that's when I knew definitively...that the night was a dud". And on it goes, I started nose snorting when the 'very special MC for the evening' turned out to be.....Angela's healer!!! That would be the fluffy charlatan that hovers over Angela pulling invisible daggers out of her that Gilda wished upon her. Allegedly. Remember that? She then introduces the book incorrectly as 'How to Be Real'. Not only does she get the title wrong, she then goes onto an extended metaphor journey with a lemon and Angela and then ends it with a quote from 'our' Coco Chanel that she ...forgets. Hokey boredom, worse, it was just cheap and this wasn't lost on the 3 cast members that showed up. Goodnight Irene. This episode is proof positive of Angela Stone's utter fakery and total delusion. she was 'really happy with the success of the evening and all her friends were having a GREAT time". What a heifer. 

Predictably, Gilda's booklaunch IS a success, even with the bar being set so low. And predictably, Angela attempts to literally upstage her at her own event by arriving not only 2 hours late, but emerging from behind the stage curtain (quite a hideous spectacle for the unsuspecting audience) DURING the speeches. Racist Snitch Julia immediately stirs the pot by continuing to snitch out conversations that were had at the height of the WTF, Where is Angela? stage of her launch. Angela is particularly upset about Louise, for some reason, despite both Louise and Anne admitting to being bored at her launch. Angela claims Louise is manipulative and fake and not being real. Projection much, Angela? Luckily, in the next episode, Racist Julia in her role as Angela's minion, crosses the line for the rest of the ladies. Finally. Again, Michelle has always been the rudest and most direct with Angela, right from the get go and the 'were you a plus size model?' comment. For some reason, Angela always goes for someone else's throat. Gilda originally and Louise now. Not for nothing, these are the 2 howives that are actually interesting, with careers and affluent lifestyles.

Why why why does this clown, Angela Stone, get so much screen time? Apart from her beyond mediocre event this episode, we also had to sit through Angela and her exploited slave intern in a car practicing reverse parking. In what universe is that good television? Gilda is the most interesting in the whole group and the ho we see the least of.  Again, you go, Gilda the Good Witch.

VV

[CrinkleCutCat]

Hear hear  Queenjen!

I have seen waaaaay too much of smug FAKE Angela....especially this episode. I guess the producers think she's the reality gift that keeps giving? All this rubbish about being real from the fakiest faker shallow facade of a wannabe woman ever. The only time she seemed remotely real was last week when we saw her being mum and jilted girlfriend. The rest of the time she is just so 'on' and trying so desperately to be liked. (I am a Psychologist so I possibly understand now after last weeks episode about her upbringing WHY she is like this but that doesn't mean I want to see her fakeness on my tv show!). Don't get me started on her book! Cliché ridden trash! What a waste of paper. I hope it was recycled paper!

I WANT TO SEE MORE ASSASIN SPY NINJA COVERT OPERATIVE HIGH POWER WEAPON WEILDING COSMOLOGY-ASTROPHYSICS ENTHUSIAST GILDA THE GOOD WITCH!!! Now SHE is interesting!

By the way: In what universe are we expected to believe that Ms Keeping it Real's 'intern' is REAL?! The fake timid mousiness .... the insipidness.... the constant 'push your glasses up your nose' mannerism... the DOING NO WORK!!! Ms Mouse is a paid by Angela actor/fake employee for sure!  This is just my opinion but, c'mon.... anyone disagree?!

Edited October 27, 2016 by CrinkleCutCat
Needed to add more complaints!

[queenjen]

Everything you said, CrinkleCutCat, Gilda is the find of this franchise. I've no idea why production has been so heavy with the Angela content, the woman is 100 proof deluded. I agree with your assessment of her past re her present personality also. She's dealing with it via a bunch of hokey self help crap whilst attempting to make a buck. I also find her mere presence on this show shady: She's not from Auckland, she's not a wife (or even a girlfriend!) and unlike the other women, she has given very little 'real' of herself. She's all facade and the facade is onerous and nauseating. If it wasn't for orc nosed racist Julia, Angela would be the worst of the lot. But then, who did Julia run to when she dropped her racist slur? Angela. Who teamed up to try and bring down 'fake' Louise in the unexpected finale episode? Angela and Julia. Everytime Angela attempts to 'go in' on one of the other hos, it's a whole lot of projection of her own flaws and issues. It's almost comical. As for Lea, this is not Sweetie. Why has so much airtime been devoted to watching Lea reverse park and watching Angela shack up in a villa in Port Douglas with Lea instead of one of the other hos? This is what these trips are about, why has Angela Stone been permitted to duck these filming requirements? If I was a Kiwi, I'd be cringing about now and I'd be declaring Gilda a national treasure as the show's only redeeming feature. I'd love to see Gilda on Shahs, she brings it. 

[HunterHunted]

On 10/14/2016 at 1:27 AM, queenjen said:

Angela: "the dance is a symbolisation of freedom and expression and ... who you want to be!!' The first of her neologisms at the most depressing and tawdry book launch I've ever seen. That dancer, grinning like she'd dropped a dance party drug half an hour before, flicking her skirt up and exposing her underwear, what WAS that?!! She was dressed in a ballet style white dress with some ballet style moves but the grinning was just weird and offputting. Like Angela, who clutched her to her bosom once she finally gave it up and came to rest at the hostess' side. Meanwhile, the unfortunate Auckland teens that maybe Angela's assistant found at a school bus stop, are standing there freezing with their shirts off.  Very tacky, very disjointed. The room, for all Angela's 'hard work' was just a boring wood detailed room, that she decides to have a White Party in? (no need to feel threatened, Kyle Richards!) I don't blame Anne for dropping the fact, not once, not twice, but three times that she had spent 2k on a dress for the evening. And the 15 or so other guests (WHAT a turnout, keep it real, Angela!) were also dressed to the nines. I really felt for them, they were corralled into this boring wooden chamber with nary a book or Angela in sight for ages, without a bar or food. I would have left and not felt even slightly guilty.

Everyone is pissed off, by now. There is a brief reprieve when Angela reveals that they are now going to process to ANOTHER room for the book launch. The 2 half naked teenage boys open a door to reveal...another room exactly the same as the first room, except with copies of 'Being Real' in it. And Louise sums it up " that's when I knew definitively...that the night was a dud". And on it goes, I started nose snorting when the 'very special MC for the evening' turned out to be.....Angela's healer!!! That would be the fluffy charlatan that hovers over Angela pulling invisible daggers out of her that Gilda wished upon her. Allegedly. Remember that? She then introduces the book incorrectly as 'How to Be Real'. Not only does she get the title wrong, she then goes onto an extended metaphor journey with a lemon and Angela and then ends it with a quote from 'our' Coco Chanel that she ...forgets.

The room was underdecorated. Angela is quite lucky Gilda sent flowers. There were 2 other flower arrangements and some anemic tea lights from Ikea. Busted. That was a busted launch. And if you are going to do a big reveal, you better have something to reveal. I have watched Phaedra and Dwight. I know Phaedra and Dwight. Angela, is neither a Phaedra or a Dwight.

Quote

Then Angela drops another neologism when she is speaking to Anne, Louise and Racist Julia. She describes the book's conspicuous absence  'as like a  little baby I've been waiting to born, really'. 

Peggy Sulahian from RHoOC is like "What it is grass? Why you need to know if grass is also green on someone else's side? How I know what is around the corner? I have to go around the corner to know what it is around the corner. Why I am walking up mountain? Why I am surprised I am walking up mountain? Do my eyes not work? How could I not know I'm walking up mountain? Did I not want to go up mountain? Oh, you give birth to baby. I know baby. Where is your baby? You say book is baby. No, book is book. Baby is baby." With every passing episode, my version of Peggy becomes more like Helena from Orphan Black. "Also, where is book?"

Quote

Predictably, Gilda's booklaunch IS a success, even with the bar being set so low. And predictably, Angela attempts to literally upstage her at her own event by arriving not only 2 hours late, but emerging from behind the stage curtain (quite a hideous spectacle for the unsuspecting audience) DURING the speeches. Racist Snitch Julia immediately stirs the pot by continuing to snitch out conversations that were had at the height of the WTF, Where is Angela? stage of her launch. Angela is particularly upset about Louise, for some reason, despite both Louise and Anne admitting to being bored at her launch. Angela claims Louise is manipulative and fake and not being real. Projection much, Angela? Luckily, in the next episode, Racist Julia in her role as Angela's minion, crosses the line for the rest of the ladies. Finally. Again, Michelle has always been the rudest and most direct with Angela, right from the get go and the 'were you a plus size model?' comment. For some reason, Angela always goes for someone else's throat. Gilda originally and Louise now. Not for nothing, these are the 2 howives that are actually interesting, with careers and affluent lifestyles.

Why why why does this clown, Angela Stone, get so much screen time? Apart from her beyond mediocre event this episode, we also had to sit through Angela and her exploited slave intern in a car practicing reverse parking. In what universe is that good television? 

 

Angela showed who she was when she turned up to Gilda's launch late, hot, and looking for a fight. Michelle said, "Naughty girl, you should have waited until they finished speaking." It was chastising, but cheeky. Angela responded with a nasty "Calm down Michelle." Angela is a fake grasping asshole, who wouldn't hesitate to fuck over someone else in order to get what she wants. She's also too dumb to realize that Julia has taken up residence in her asshole because the other women are done with Julia.

Shut up Julia. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Like when Julia called Michelle a boat nigger. They talk about manners, but they don't have any. We shouldn't be criticizing people. Which is why she called Michelle a boat nigger. Does this racist piece of shit hear herself? She also suggested that Michelle should have postponed her wedding anniversary for Angela's book launch. I'd laugh, but she is completely serious about this.

Lea driving is not funny or entertaining. It's dangerous and dumb. I'm glad we endured that driving lesson because Lea had to pick up so much for that book launch--a dozen tea lights, two white grocery store flower arrangements, the blow up of Angela's book cover, and the cuffs and collars for two bored Auckland teenagers.

Edited September 17, 2017 by HunterHunted

[howiveaddict]

Saw Gilda's book on  Amazon by kindle.  No reviews  yet , though.  Poser's book wasn't on there.

[grisgris]

Comedy gold!  I'm going to start keeping these episodes in permanent residence in my Google storage cloud.  This show is the perfect blend of unintentional comedy combined with material and location porn.

I laughed so hard I nearly cried watching Angela's book launch, especially when that WTF dancer appeared and started twirling in front of Anne and Louise.  The staged fight at Gilda's party was so grade-school playground.

Not one of the other Housewives franchises could begin to compare to this debacle.

These women are too ridiculous to be taken the slightest bit seriously.  I am beginning to wonder if not all of them are hired actresses. I can't wrap my mind around that women like that actually exist!

Edited September 17, 2017 by grisgris

[walnutqueen]

9 minutes ago, grisgris said:

Comedy gold!  I'm going to start keeping these episodes in permanent residence in my Google storage cloud.  This show is the perfect blend of unintentional comedy combined with material and location porn.

I laughed so hard I nearly cried watching Angela's book launch, especially when that WTF dancer appeared and started twirling in front of Anne and Louise.  The staged fight at Gilda's party was so grade-school playground.

Not one of the other Housewives franchises could begin to compare to this debacle.

These women are too ridiculous to be taken the slightest bit seriously.  I am beginning to wonder if not all of them are hired actresses. I can't wrap my mind around that women like that actually exist!

I looked up long enough to think I'd inadvertently tuned in to an early episode of The Leftovers, but then, nobody was smoking.

I have an irrational lurve for this little show ... I may need an Intervention, or at the very least, a support group.  ;-)

[Toothbrush]

That was so awful it was awesome.

From the dancer at Angela's party flashing everyone, to the healer MC who got the title of the book wrong, to the half naked (very young) men, plain room, paltry crowd. Oh my! And Anne was correct that Angela looked beautiful, but she ruined the lines of her one-shouldered dress by wearing her purse flung across her body. There wasn't a place she could have put it down? The editing during Angela's recitation of motivational poster sayings was brilliant - all blank stares & people downing their wine. Yes, Anne & Louise should have kept their comment to themselves until dinner, but where's the fun in that ;-) And of course Racist Julia (TM queenjen) has to blab. 

Gilda looked absolutely gorgeous at her launch party - hip and fresh, and not stoned out of her gourd. It didn't look like there were that many more people at her party than Angela's, TBH, but the vibe was much more energetic & fun. Of course Angela had to make a spectacle of herself. I am sure she will put down not being able to wait one day to confront Louise as "being real", but it was rude & classless. Although after her grand entrance, respectful & classy do not apply.  None of them should have engaged, but again, where is the fun (& ratings) in that? But I loved how Gilda just disregarded & enjoyed her moment in the spotlight, as she should. 

Michelle looks stunning in red, and I liked Julia's dress at Gilda's launch party. Anne's dress for Angela's party was nice, but not $2,000 nice.

On 10/27/2016 at 8:42 AM, CrinkleCutCat said:

Hear hear  Queenjen!

I have seen waaaaay too much of smug FAKE Angela....especially this episode. I guess the producers think she's the reality gift that keeps giving? All this rubbish about being real from the fakiest faker shallow facade of a wannabe woman ever. The only time she seemed remotely real was last week when we saw her being mum and jilted girlfriend. The rest of the time she is just so 'on' and trying so desperately to be liked. (I am a Psychologist so I possibly understand now after last weeks episode about her upbringing WHY she is like this but that doesn't mean I want to see her fakeness on my tv show!). Don't get me started on her book! Cliché ridden trash! What a waste of paper. I hope it was recycled paper!

I WANT TO SEE MORE ASSASIN SPY NINJA COVERT OPERATIVE HIGH POWER WEAPON WEILDING COSMOLOGY-ASTROPHYSICS ENTHUSIAST GILDA THE GOOD WITCH!!! Now SHE is interesting!

By the way: In what universe are we expected to believe that Ms Keeping it Real's 'intern' is REAL?! The fake timid mousiness .... the insipidness.... the constant 'push your glasses up your nose' mannerism... the DOING NO WORK!!! Ms Mouse is a paid by Angela actor/fake employee for sure!  This is just my opinion but, c'mon.... anyone disagree?!

Agree to all of this! And I absolutely agree that Lea is a fake intern and have mentioned it in the past couple of episode threads. (Of course I am in the US seeing these episodes almost a year after you are). That driving lesson - Oy! Getting in on the wrong side - oh haha my sides are splitting - and not fake at all. It's not like she has never driven in NZ before, or been inside of a car there. And if I had just crashed a car, I would not feel the least nervous driving my boss' Mercedes. Isn't there a Toyota or VW she can drive? And by all means, let's parallel park. 

On 9/16/2017 at 11:03 PM, walnutqueen said:

I have an irrational lurve for this little show ... I may need an Intervention, or at the very least, a support group.  ;-)

We're here for you walnutqueen.