Lorelai Gilmore: The 10(+) Things I Hate About You

[TwirlyGirly]

It's been years since anyone has posted in this topic, but today I had GG on Netflix playing on my tablet while I was doing other things, when "Secrets and Loans" (S2.E11) came on. 

This is the episode in which Lorelai and Rory discover termites have attacked their house, causing major damage to the house's foundation that will cost $15,000.00 to repair.

Lorelai is unable to qualify for a loan to pay for the repairs, and her calling bank loan officers repeatedly to ask whether they've changed their mind about approving her loan makes it painfully obvious how little Lorelei understands about banking, loans, credit, etc.

Rory quickly realizes how futile Lorelai's attempts at securing a loan are, and suggests her mother ask her parents for the money. Lorelai refuses to consider this solution and tells Rory she is not to mention the issue to Emily and/or Richard.

Rory defies her mother that same evening, telling Emily at Friday night dinner about the termites, the damage to the house, and the loan application refusals. Emily tries to write Lorelai a check to cover the repairs, which Lorelai refuses to accept. 

When Lorelai and Rory arrive home after the dinner, Lorelai explodes and berates Rory for defying her and telling her mother about the termites and her money troubles.

For all of Lorelai's insistence her mother doesn't know or understand her (a major theme of their relationship throughout the series), Emily demonstrates here that she understands her daughter a lot more than she's given credit for.

Emily knows if Lorelai won't allow her to give or loan her the money, Lorelai's only other option is to have a co-signer for a loan. But if she presents this solution to Lorelai outright, Lorelai will reject it. 

Her only option is to orchestrate an elaborate ruse behind the scenes: set up an appointment for Lorelai at her own bank with the loan officer she and Richard have known for years, without telling Lorelai she'll be there, too. Then when Lorelai sees her at the bank and tells her to leave, tell Lorelai it would be rude because they already know she's there. And when the two of them are finally seated in the loan officer's office and he's making small talk with Emily, Emily swallows her pride when Lorelai rudely interrupts her mother and tells the loan officer her mother isn't a "silent participant" in the meeting, but a "silent."

Of course Lorelai's loan application at her mother's bank is refused, too. Emily sits silently as Lorelai begs the loan officer for a solution, which as Emily has known all along, is to have someone co-sign the loan. 

Emily graciously agrees to be the co-signer.

But when they leave the bank, does Lorelai thank her mother for saving her house? Does she show her any gratitude whatsoever?

No. She attacks her. 

But the worst is yet to come. 

When Lorelai meets up with Rory at the town square after leaving the bank, she tells Rory she got the loan. Then she gives Rory a speech about how Rory needs to trust her, that she's never had to do without something she needed, and says "the reason for that is me." 

She doesn't tell Rory her mother co-signed the loan, and that she wouldn't have gotten the loan otherwise. She doesn't apologize to Rory for giving her the silent treatment or yelling at her for telling Emily about the termites and the loan issues. Nor does she explain how she would have gotten the money if Rory hadn't told her mother about their issue.

Lorelai lies to everyone, and even Lorelai's daughter and so-called best friend can't depend on being told the truth by Lorelai.

Edited Thursday at 11:10 PM by TwirlyGirly

[SJC]

Lorelai is indeed an  incredibly ungrateful, arrogant & self absorbed user.
Emily could have given her a million dollars & she still would not have appreciated it.

[Anela]

She didn’t want a million dollars, and everything her mother helps her with, comes with conditions.  That’s why she didn’t want to ask.  She doesn’t help lorelai, just for the sake of helping her daughter.  
she has also shown empathy to her mother. 

Edited Friday at 05:06 PM by Anela

[chessiegal]

14 minutes ago, Anela said:

everything her mother helps her with, comes with conditions.

Yes! Starting with the Pilot episode when Lorelai asks for help with Chilton. Richard was happy to just write a check, but Emily insisted it had to come with Friday night dinners. Remember when Lorelai says to herself - "So close."? When Rory asks the grands for help with Yale, just Rory will be keeping them involved. When Rory tells Lorelai, Lorelai says, those are strings, Pinocchio.

[Katy M]

On 6/28/2024 at 1:06 PM, Anela said:

She didn’t want a million dollars, and everything her mother helps her with, comes with conditions.  That’s why she didn’t want to ask.  She doesn’t help lorelai, just for the sake of helping her daughter.  
she has also shown empathy to her mother. 

As for the Chilton loan, there have been debates about how much the tuition was on this forum, but definitely a sizeable amount.  And they're probably never going to see any of that again.  2 hours a week to eat dinner for payment doesn't seem that crazy.  Why give that much money to someone who only deigns to see you on holidays and even that begrudgingly?

[Taryn74]

On 6/28/2024 at 12:31 PM, chessiegal said:

Yes! Starting with the Pilot episode when Lorelai asks for help with Chilton. Richard was happy to just write a check, but Emily insisted it had to come with Friday night dinners. Remember when Lorelai says to herself - "So close."? When Rory asks the grands for help with Yale, just Rory will be keeping them involved. When Rory tells Lorelai, Lorelai says, those are strings, Pinocchio.

I don't hate Lorelai or anything, but I was definitely on Emily's side with that one. It's not like Rory needed life-saving surgery or anything that would have made Emily truly heartless in that moment. There's nothing wrong with putting a relatively small condition on loaning your daughter tens of thousands of dollars to send your granddaughter to a posh private school.

I do wish they had written that initial storyline slightly differently, though, to make Lorelai look less like she was so unprepared as to never think of how she was going to cover Rory's tuition for Chilton. I think I've argued this scenario before, but it would have made perfect sense for Lorelai to assume Rory would get a scholarship for Chilton (one of the Chilton parents makes a snarky remark about scholarship students early on in the show, so that was definitely a thing) and then have the school inform her that no, the scholarships are reserved for students who actually need the financial help to attend there, and the Gilmores could certainly afford to send Rory without any assistance. That would put Lorelai in the position of having to deal with the fact that yes, she IS still a Gilmore even though she hasn't been a part of that world for sixteen years, and carrying the Gilmore name comes with certain assumptions and responsibilities whether she likes it or not.