Favorite Quotes: "NIP it in the Bud! NIP IT! NIP IT! NIP IT!"

[GHScorpiosRule]

I noticed there was no favorite quote thread for this show, and that's a darn shame!  This show had so many good ones!
 
Another favorite, that we would see in practically every episode (mostly said by Andy, but Barney as well would get some in):
 
"You beat everything, you know that?"
 
Said usually after Barney has mucked up something but good!
 
Another favorite from "Opie's Charity":
 
Andy: "...or one and half boys per square mile."
 
Opie: "There is?"
 
Andy: "There sure is!"
 
Opie: "I never seen one, Paw."
 
Andy:"Never seen one what?"
 
Opie: "A half a boy."
 
Andy: "Well, it's not really a half a boy...it's a ratio."
 
Opie: "Horatio, who?"
 
Andy: "Not Horatio...A Ratio...Mathematics...arithmetic...well Opie, look. Forget that part of it. Forget about the part about a half a boy."

Opie: "Pretty hard to forget a thing like that, Paw."

Andy: "Well...try!"

Opie: "Poor Horatio."

Me: laughing hysterically!  Then there's this that follows:

Andy: "Son, Didn't you...didn't you ever give anybody anything for the pleasure of it..something you didn't want anything in return for it?"

Opie: "Sure! Just yesterday I gave my friend something."

Andy: "Now that's fine! What'd you give him?"

Opie: "A sock in the head."

Andy: "I..I meant charity."

Opie: "I didn't charge him nothin'!"

Andy: "I meant something for the joy of giving."

Opie: "I enjoyed it!"

Edited September 14, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[dustylil]

I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy.

The lovely and talented Ernest T. Bass.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Because I recently saw this and saw y'all loved this episode, as well as my other friends, who just saw this one...

 

Andy: "Now call the man."

 

Bee: "Well, couldn't we call someone around here?."

 

Andy: "No, there's nobody around here."

 

Bee: "Someone who wouldn't rob us like that man from Mount Pilot--"

 

Andy: "There are no freezer mechanics around here...now call the man."

 

Bee: "What about Fred Bolz who works for Louise Palmer--he's very accommodating...well we could at least let him have a look at it. "

 

Andy (shaking head): "Aunt Bee, he don't know anything about freezers. Now call the man."

 

Bee: "Well, he helped me fix a clothesline once--"

 

Andy: "Aunt Bee, Just CALL the man! Just call the man."

 

Opie comes out shirtless, then Aunt Bee sends him right back inside; Andy kicks the freezer, which starts its rocking again

 

Andy: "Aunt Bee, you better call that man in Mount Pilot."

 

Bee: "Now Andy, you know how much he charges--"

 

Andy: "Aunt Bee, Just call the Man."

 

But does she call the man? Noooo. She calls....Gomer.

 

"Bargain Day"

Edited September 15, 2015 by GHScorpiosRule

[Miss Chevious]

Two of my favorites-

"You beat everything, you know that." and

"Tick a lock". (Said while making a twisting motion by one's lips)

[BooksRule]

Barney sings (to the tune of 'My darling Clementine):

"In a jailhouse, down in Dixie, fightin' crime and riskin' life.

Dwelled a sheriff and his buddy, pistol-packing Barney Fife.

Oh my darin', oh my darin', oh my darin' Barney Fife.

He's a deadly crime-stopper, what a copper Barney Fife.

Then one day there come aridin' two bad men to rob a bank.

But Fife was tricky, a deadeye dickey. Now they're locked up in the tank."

 

Andy (coming up behind Barney):

"Oh my Barney, oh my Barney, had a jail and couldn't lock it.

Had one bullet for his pistol. Had to keep it in his pocket."

Edited October 16, 2015 by BooksRule

[chessiegal]

The "nip it" episode was on MeTV tonight. Hee.

[TheLastKidPicked]

On 4/19/2016 at 6:19 PM, chessiegal said:

The "nip it" episode was on MeTV tonight. Hee.

Did you see Don Knotts in  "8 Simple Rules"?  He wakes up in bed next to John Ritter and says,  "Nip it!"

The last scene I ever saw him in.

:: Sniff ::

[cooksdelight]

“Andy, if you flew a quail through here, every woman in here would point.” — Barney to Andy at Mrs. Wiley’s mixer, when Andy asked Barney if he wanted to ask anybody to dance.

“He’s a strange one.  Yep, he’s peculiar alright. ... He’s a nut!”  — Mr. Darling, Andy and Barney, referring to Ernest T Bass

[cooksdelight]

“I feel sorry for you, baby. You had your chance to fly with me, but now the balloon’s gone up without you!”   — Barney to Ellie when he’s trying to make Andy jealous.

[cooksdelight]

“It sure ain’t fun being known as the person with the worst house in town.”

— Mayberry Goes Bankrupt

A sweet episode when Andy figures out a way to help a man who was going to be evicted.

[cooksdelight]

“That’s a fine title you got for a book there, Barney! You ought to call it Barney Fife’s Subconcious Prober Primer!”

[Browncoat]

"He gave himself away -- the patulla obandalla ain't in the leg.  It's in the brain."

[cooksdelight]

“What a mess I’ve made of my life.” — Otis Campbell in “Aunt Bee the Warden”

[cooksdelight]

“Homely in the cradle, pretty at the table.” — Barney in “Opie the Birdman”

Can’t begin to quote all of his bird chirp language from that episode.

[Starry Eyes]

Andy:  There you are (talking to Barney) as cool as the middle of a cucumber seed.  

[cooksdelight]

“Al....Bert.....the Milo Boys.... it’s theirs, Barn.”

I couldn’t quote all of the lines...

[TheLastKidPicked]

Thank you for posting that, Cooksdelight!

I really enjoy watching the chemistry between Andy Griffith and Don Knotts.  Going from memory, so this might not be 100% accurrate, but watching the characters play off each other is great!

 

Barney:  Hey, I found my old textbook!

Andy:  (reading the inside page):  

    Issued to Bernard P. Fife

    If found, please return to Bernard P. Fife

(Gets a smile on his face as he sees where this is going)

    Sincerely, Bernard P. Fife

[cooksdelight]

“The history of the United States..... by Bernard P. Fife.”

 

:)

[Browncoat]

And I should post this in the inconsistency thread, but Barney's middle initial wasn't always P.

[cooksdelight]

Oliver was his middle name at one time.

[HyeChaps]

Aunt Bee wears a hat and gloves to go to the grocery store. 

[TheLastKidPicked]

17 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

“The history of the United States..... by Bernard P. Fife.”

Thank you!  I can just picture a school aged Barney writing that in his book.

4 hours ago, HyeChaps said:

Aunt Bee wears a hat and gloves to go to the grocery store. 

Well, you never know when a traveling Medicine Man or Preacher might come through town, and Aunt Bea needs to look her best!