Triangle Hat: The Companion Thread to Carl's Hat

[PeterPirate]

Triangle Hat is not happy with me for posting that it was perched atop a zombie.  "There I was, just doing my own thing, and you made me sound like a damn necrophile." 

 

Venice Beach Van is waiting for the chance to show it can do a couple of flips and land on its tires.  "And I won't need no bridge to get high enough, neither. We got some great pharmaceuticals here."

 

Broken Piano is disappointed that it was, well, broken. It was starting to have delusions that a pixie-ish blonde would use it to belt out a song. 

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Abandoned Church felt it was missing something... it was fine being used as a drug addict and zombie haven, but it could really use an FPP.  Doesn't quite have the appeal without one.

 

Unknown Number of Bullets Fired Into Freeway Walker lamented the start of the "Untold But Must Be Astronomical Amounts of Wasted Ammo" Armageddon.

 

Truck Windshield suffered from multiple personalities disorder in this first episode.  It was untouched, then it was cracked, then it was fine again, and then impacted & cracked again.  "Just what/who am I!!?!?!"

 

Alicia's Phone is used to being abused.  But knows she should be in the "Textual Offenders" database.  Always touching it, even in very public and inopportune moments.

[Saje]

Gloria's Shrug is oh so surprised by the furor she's caused, and now feels abandoned. But not really. She knows her destiny awaits.

[CletusMusashi]

Tobias' tiny knife never pretended it was a Katana. But it would like Skeptical Blonde Lady to admit that, in the event of a zombie apocalypse, it might be worth a little more than 77 cents.

Edited August 25, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[Nashville]

Calvin's Pistol said, "Dafuq...???"

[PeterPirate]

Calvin's Pistol said, "Dafuq...???"

 

Like Milton's Pair of Pliers, Beth's Surgical Scissors, and Tyreese's Hammer before it, Calvin's Pistol failed to protect its human. 

 

"You're all total losers!" bellows Horrible Hairpiece.  "You're fired!" 

 

 

(Horrible Hairpiece has a knack for showing up in places where it's not expected to be.)

[Nashville]

Like Milton's Pair of Pliers, Beth's Surgical Scissors, and Tyreese's Hammer before it, Calvin's Pistol failed to protect its human. 

 

But Calvin's Pistol doesn't understand.

It shot its human. It killed its human.

Regrettable, to be sure - but at the least, Calvin's Pistol fulfilled its purpose.

But - Calvin's Pistol didn't, not really, - because the human got up and walked away.

Which usually doesn't happen - not from a point-blank shot to the heart, anyway.

Calvin's Pistol Is very very confused.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Large Supply of Trunked Bottled Water begged the cop, "please don't lock us in here;  we're afraid of the dark!"

 

Bathroom Cabinet at Matt's House wasn't having its drawers pawed and dug through, especially by a crashing Johnny Depp-wannabe!  "Oh no, you don't!  I know you like to wear girly shrugs, but this is going too far!  At least put 'em back and arrange them the way you found 'em, you friggin' pervert!!"

 

Nick's Never-Changed and Vomit-Collecting Clothes wish they could find new work, 'cause this job reeks!

 

Head-Smashing Fire Extinguisher thanked Madison.  "That's one more thing off the ol' 'bucket list'.  Thanks for helping me give that guy a headache; never really liked him.  Sometimes they don't get it, you just gotta keep bashing their head in with it before it finally sinks in."

[CletusMusashi]

Tobias' Tiny Knife is reunited with its human.

"Come with me if you want to live," he tells it. "And by 'live,' I mean 'stab monsters.'"

Stabbing monsters was fun, but not quite as easy as TTK expected. Next time it will remember to go for the brain. 

Deep down it feels like that's what Romero would have wanted.

But... what does that old guy who played The Joker on "Batman" have to do with any of this?

Edited September 1, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[Yolapukka]

Pry Bar is sad that the phlegmatic lady left her so badly underused, first only partially opening Druggie Lock-Up then abandoning poor Pry Bar altogether. Pry bar is useful, Pry bar could have helped with Principal Zombie. Head-Smashing Fire Extinguisher helped and then was abandoned too. Pry Bar is alone and wants to be held, Pry Bar wants to be with Head-Smashing Fire Extinguisher and Big Cans (Of Food), wants to become part of Needed Survival Supplies, even it means being with phlegmatic lady. Pry Bar doesn't like her anymore, doesn't like abandonment. Maybe spotty boy would have saved Pry bar, if spotty boy had not been so interested in Big Cans (Of Food), but then again maybe not. After all, spotty boy lost interest in Big Cans (Of Food).

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Locked Confiscated Drugs Locker Door got all bent out of shape, and for almost no reason at all.  "Lady sure likes to pry into business that isn't hers."

[CletusMusashi]

Damn it, Entire Cart of Supplies was not finished yet!

Those humans need to start taking Lootagra or something.

[PeterPirate]

Boardwalk was looking forward to being a party hangout for upscale users of illicit pharmaceuticals. Then the game ended.

 

00 Buckshot glowers at #8 Birdshot for its failure to take out Pete Dawson.  "Stay outta Shotgun from now on."  

 

"Don't blame me", #8 Birdshot retorts.  "All the guns on this show are supposed to have magic powers." 

Edited September 14, 2015 by PeterPirate

[walnutqueen]

Oxycontin is elated to finally be put to use for it's intended purpose - relieving Grisela's pain.  "Junkies and partyers were giving me a bad rap", it proclaims.

[CletusMusashi]

Oxycontin is just happy to get invited onto so many zombie shows.

Edited September 14, 2015 by CletusMusashi

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Susan's Pill Bottle is emotionally destitute.  "There's nothing left, I just feel so empty inside right now."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Dog's Blank Face as its getting eaten, "Note to self, don't let the zombie 'pet' me next time."

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Suddenly Useful Square of Shiny Glass thanked Chris for helping it work on its tan.  "Soaking up the rays on a warm California day.  Just 'hanging ten', dude!  Now all we need is some sand and surf"

 

Morphine Drip Tube Needle hates Nick.  "Toe jam is NOT my favorite PB topper, asshole!"

 

Madison's Hand misread the writing on Nick's Face;  it did not read "slap me silly".  It actually read "slap me if you hate emotions".  Oh.  Now the Hand/Face gets it.

[PeterPirate]

Suicide Note wonders why it sounds like a teenage American girl.  

 

Thank you, Madison's Hand and Rifle Butt, for giving Nick the ass-kicking he so richly deserved.  

 

Wind Chime just hangs there, like a gym sock on a shower rod.  

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Rifle Butt hates his soldier.  He is so getting a thorough cleaning and wipe down to get the nasty off from being used on the addict's face.

[rab01]

White Truck knows it's the star of the show and there is nowhere to drive but would still rather not have been part of a three-way with Madison and Travis; next time will get rider put in its contract.

[Nashville]

Tequila Bottle is satisfied. It may not have been able to loosen up Blonde Woman's face muscles very much - but thigh muscles, no problem.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

'Coffee' Cup is glad it doesn't have motion sickness, the way the lady was shaking it around there.

[GreyBunny]

Gun Left in the Middle of the Street wonders why stank-faced blonde woman didn't pick it up to defend herself, but on second thought is glad that she didn't because Gun Left in the Middle of the Street wouldn't want to have to listen to stank-faced blonde bitch and complain all of the time.

[KirkB]

Chain Link Fence wondered what it had done to make the human woman cut a hole in it, though it wasn't unhappy to see her go (and somewhat disappointed when she came back). But it also knew it was going to be blamed if/when the stinky, shambling humans came in through that hole.

[PeterPirate]

Chain Link Fence wondered what it had done to make the human woman cut a hole in it, though it wasn't unhappy to see her go (and somewhat disappointed when she came back). But it also knew it was going to be blamed if/when the stinky, shambling humans came in through that hole.

 

KirkB! The founder of the Hat thread!  I salute you, sir.  

[FierceCritter]

Barbershop Wall is all burned up that it didn't get more screen time before the location was abandoned.

Freshly Painted Livingroom Wall vainly tells makeup crew, "You missed a spot."

Edited September 25, 2015 by FierceCritter

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

Golf Balls yelled "Fooooooooooooooooour!!" as they went sailing down the concrete fairway.

[Bongo Fury]

Golf Balls: What the hell is it with this show, they must hate golf, they are bigoted against us. The first time we're on the show they tie us to the Governor, a psychotic nutjob who murders people and keeps aquariums full of their heads. The next time we get a chance to be on the show AGAIN we are tied to a murderer, Martinez. It's like they are trying to make everyone in America believe that golf is evil. And now, on a new show, a fresh start, right? NO, they stick us with Lt Douchebag. I swear these people have it out for us, they're bigots.

 

Golf Clubs: I think you're over reacting. I heard an interview with Gimple and he claims that when they wrote the script they never have a particular sporting good in mind. It wasn't until the auditions when we hit it out of the park that the role was defined as golfing. So it's just coincidence that golfing is always painted as evil on these shows.

[iRarelyWatchTV36]

^ Golf Clubs and Golf Balls just laughed in derision when they read the interview where SGM said that they were the best candidates for portraying that there was an egomaniac behind the person using them; that they're use and aspersions cast about them had nothing to do with any sort of sports bias whatsoever.

Edited September 26, 2015 by iRarelyWatchTV36

[PeterPirate]

Cuff Links are not happy. They clash with military fatigues.  

 

Ruben's Blades are getting lots of respect from the other implements, especially Surgical Scissors.  

 

Walkie-Talkie violated the first rule of Cobalt: You do not talk about Cobalt.

Edited September 28, 2015 by PeterPirate

[Yolapukka]

Coffee Cup is afraid.  Phlegmatic Lady is holding onto Coffee Cup for dear life, Coffee Cup is afraid Phlegmatic Lady will try to defend herself using Coffee Cup, oh wait she picked up a knife!   ..and now she dropped the knife as if it were nothing, as if it were a fire extinguisher or a pry bar. Now Coffee Cup is more afraid than ever.

[rab01]

White Truck hopes it won't get seasick parked on Big Ass Boat when Amoral Blended Family tries to sail away from zombie apocalypse.