Season Three General Discussion

[mittsigirl]

jbobchuck, I know that Ami has less than desirable teeth, but I would give ANYTHING to have what she has! I survived a disease that should have killed me, and after so many years of taking medications for the pain, I developed what is called 'meth mouth', and they all rotted and had to come out. Now I have none, and even dentures don't work for my mouth. So even though Ami has screwy teeth, I would take them any day!

[Ridgerunner]

No no no Beden say it ain't so! Really? Season finale? Don't be sad, I think we have at least, 1 to 3 more seasons, to go! Everything from updates with the "family business," to the growth of Browntown, and putting any girl under a microscope that might even consider a courtship with our crusty little devils!!!!!! Hahahahahahaha let alone bearing their children..cause I bet you they are the most fertile myrtles you have ever seen or heard tell of! I'll research it though and let you know of any findings. And don't forget Ami has the cookbook coming, too. And, last but not least the court hearing. IF they "DON'T DIE!"

Jbobchuck my dad would, hit me, laugh hysterically, then call my 5 siblings to the tool shed/trapper shack/scientific lab/ "Noah's creative corner"/ # leaving a piece of his soul while sitting in his wheel chair, to get in on the fiasco!!!!! Hahahahahaha! I don't know any self respecting father that wouldn't smack a full grown son (or two) for a.) reciting poetry & b.) doing it in the same voice as his older brother Bam, whilst blubbering "Brown Penny, Brown Penny" to the Hoonah girls, aka: the first Browntown victims! Hearing your sons do that, to me, would be equivalent to helping them into a ball gown, as you snap the hooks of their shiny, gaudy, costume, necklaces while they hold their hair up for you. Would that be a correct comparison or assumption dads? I'm a mom....so not sure! Though I'm very grateful I had 2 boys....hence RIDGERUNNER! Just can't see me as a frilly girly mom. But, yeah..... I felt the sizzle & sting of embarrassment for ol' Bill...then remembered, nah, he deserves that and so much more!

Gonna research and see what I can find on new seasons.... Let us hope

[Beden]

Brown Penny, Brown Penny...Brown Town....'can't help it, that made me giggle.

 

And hey, goldarnit--my very own sister in law is an honest to god professional poet. No kidding--she publishes books; okay, no one reads them but hey, there you go. Maybe Noah can become her protege.

 

Yikers, I forgot about the upcoming court dates. So, everyone ends up in the local clink, their reality salaries are attached,  Integrity either sinks or is sold to begin to pay off their fines and restitution and Matt is left to raise Rainy and keep Browntown from going under. He rebuilds his saran wrap house with an annex for sis--maybe she can live in the tree root hole in the ground--unless it snows, the bears invade, they lose the crab pot again and the skiff drifts out to sea, at which point they could die!!!! Forgive  me but I'm old and may die--when's the court date scheduled again?

Edited July 19, 2015 by Beden

[crazycatchick]

How DARE Noah's potential soulmate want to go to college and not come and make grandbabies and live the life of a grifter! I am sure the whole thing was staged, but the way Noah was talking was ridiculous. Soul mates don't hurt each other and break your heart? She went to college. And in reality plenty of (normal) people have long distance relationships. It's not her fault that you don't have a means for her to contact you other than letter writing or that you can't afford a plane ticket to take an hour and 40 minute flight (I looked it up because I apparently have more life) to Anchorage to visit her. And his poem? No Billy, that was not "pretty darn good." All he did was say the word fleeting and leaving over and over. They act like he is the second coming of Elizabeth Barrett Browning. Christi is the only person who has ever matched me in intellect? Sure, ok.  

 

Bam is going to snap one day.

 

But the biggest issue I had with this episode....where are their winter clothing?!!!! It's blizzard-like conditions and no one is wearing a parka or gloves or a hat or a scarf? What is wrong with these people? Why don't they wear proper outerwear ever? Especially if the weather in Alaska is so unpredictable as Billy says. I mean I live in Chicago (the suburbs) and have a pair of boots and a different coat for rain, snow, and just general cold weather. I just don't get it!! Is it really summer and Discovery is just adding in all the inclement weather?!! 

 

 

 

 

[clod]

 Is it really summer and Discovery is just adding in all the inclement weather?!! 

 

when the skiff returned after delivering the last barrel, someone said they just aimed the skiff to where they thought the (big) boat was.    because of limited visibility.

 

but when they were high-fiving their successful return, it was clear and a million.   :)    nice view of the coastline and some mountains.

 

one mile delivery.   let's say a 20mph skiff.    that takes three minutes.   quite the journey.

Edited July 19, 2015 by clod

[Ridgerunner]

Hehehehehe never NOT entertaining!!!! Crazycatchic: great points!

Beden: I want her name, I like to read AND I can say I know a published poet/author! (though I may be stretching the truth.....ALOT...it sounds good) Plus, I can impress people with such notions. For gosh sakes, I'm a Ridgerunner from Tennessee....entertain my pathetic life and get back to me with the info! I "could die!"

Jbobchuck: we're gonna get you some help, brother! Counseling.....just a little. And it won't hurt, you won't even feel it! They'll give you a sticker & lollipop when you're done, as long as you don't snap and hurt anyone.

Keep writing cause this, as sad as it is, is one of my highlights of my day! My favorite quote of this weeks episode, " an old, rotted, stinking, sinker!" Sums up the life of this sad pathetic family....so why do I love 'em so much!!!! I'm twisted, ok ok jbobchuck skooch over, I'll ride with you to the "help".....p.s. Think they'll give me a lollipop, too?

Beden, Crazycatchic, and all the rest: favorite quote from this weeks episode?

[Ridgerunner]

http://when-will.net/tv-series/1557-will-there-be-alaskan-bush-people-season-4-premiere-date.html season 4 to come, whewwwwwwwwww hewwwwwwww! Now off to find court date info

http://when-will.net/tv-series/1557-will-there-be-alaskan-bush-people-season-4-premiere-date.html.....hahahahahaseason 4 to come, whewwwwwwwwww hewwwwwwww! Now off to find court date info Edited July 20, 2015 by Ridgerunner

[cissyboo1]

Ridgerunner, you may want to edit the ....hahaha out of your link ; )

 

This show is my Friday night fun, since Captain Asshat and the Ship o'Fools that was Whale Wars has not been in production for a while.  Pesky lawsuits! 

 

The Brownclowns are just so real, you know what I mean?  They may die at any minute!  And every little thing can destroy their dream of living wild in the Alaskan Bush!  Sunken boats, broken legs, bears (not Bear, however), phone calls from Ami's relatives...Everything except Billy's idiocy, and a raging infection from Ami's teeth.  Which had to have been a recreation, because I had ONE tooth (not 12) extracted and my face was puffy and swollen and bleeding for days!!  Ami came out looking just like she always does...

 

 

[Beden]

 

one mile delivery.   let's say a 20mph skiff.    that takes three minutes.   quite the journey.

Well...that lil old skiff (maybe a 10'? Certainly no longer than 12') only had what looked like a 20-25 HP outboard motor--hardly what you'd call a mean machine. Back in the day my old grandpappy had a similar boat for his grandbabies to use--purposely underpowered because he didn't want us to die!!!!! A mile could easily take 10 minutes to cover; it was 3 1/2 miles to the local village and it took us about 1/2 an hour to get there at full speed (if we didn't capsize and die!!!), plus they had 3 grown men adding, say 400-450 lbs and 1,200 lbs in cargo (cough-bullshit--cough) to seriously slow them down. And don't forget the whitecapped, killer waves and that gale force wind. In that raging blizzard/flurry they likely steered a zig zag course in search of the mama boat. Did I mention that--damn!--they could have died!!!!

 

How come the real freight guy didn't notice the rotted plank on the gunwale? I dunno--maybe he was speechless at the overall crap condition of the boat, the not even close to ready for primetime crew and general air of haven't-a-clue pervading the entire operation. Or maybe the director told him not to worry about the rot./rust because that would be covered in a later scene with Ami pointing it out.

 

...which leads me to another question; how come Billy went to see the Freight guy, invited him over to see his operation and check them out and, sure, anytime that afternoon would be fine because they'd be there. Then acted like the guy dropped in out of the blue when the boat was a mess and looked like shit--it was so embarrassing that he probably wanted to die!!!!

Edited July 19, 2015 by Beden

[clod]

I was judging it as moving faster than I used to run, back in the day.    I used to run 10 mph.   so I called it 20.

[Eme]

Seemed to me that Gabe (or someone from Production) reads PTV because he showed some embarrassment of Ami's using the term "Grandbabies" -- which WE all cringe about over here.  Hummmmm.  Made me think.  That "poem" was crap.  He kept using the same words over and over again….doesn't make them rhyme Gabe.

 

On a mean note, Gabe's writing was horrible.  I bet the second she got the letter "with his soul inside" she realized he is illiterate and she freaked out and Ran for Anchorage!  EEEP!  Talk about dodging a bullet.  And only anyone as backwards as Gabe would think that a Second Date meant that marriage was next. Really?  It is likely that the girls he meets do not live in a box somewhere -- and if they do, they likely have teevee….so yeah, his outlandish look on life is going to get a battered if he keeps it up.

 

The whole boat thing was just a train wreck.  Papa was so ADAMANT that they get this "chance of a lifetime" boat.  REALLY?  It's from the 1940s and THAT is a chance of a lifetime?  Wonder why his "Friend" (who Ami gave the side-eye to the minute she heard his name) didn't go ahead and sell him the Brooklyn Bridge while he was at it.  Sheesh.  Ami smelled a rat a mile away, but Billy would NOT HAVE IT.  He is a Controlling SOB and he WOULD HAVE HIS WAY and "sweet talk" his family around to his way of thinking.  Well, it was OBVIOUS that everyone was uncomfortable with it, but since HE decided it WAS going to happen, everyone else just shut it and let him have his way. Made me wonder how he RAGES against them if he does not get his way?  They all looked cowed.  Sad.  They may be grifters but it is very sad to see these grown men under the thumb of Cult-Billy.  Ami's parents had the right idea….try to find out where she was and offer her support.  She's already drunk the cool aid and is going no where, but I can imagine the horror they feel when they see her toothlessly on screen with Cult Billy.  

So Billy decides that they can do a hauling business without researching Anything!  The world was just waiting for Cult Billy to get a boat to move things around for it.  Nooooo, there is an ongoing business for real cargo, and Billy was so chagrined to realize it exists. REALLY?  Idiot!  That other boat owner was kind….and Billy was So Pathetic when he was talking to him.  UGH.  Just kissing up to him and begging to take a load of some crap that the other guy doesn't want to haul.  What a leader!

Nevetheless, i will continue to watch this Hot Mess because there are so many unbelievable things to snark about.  Carry on….

Edited July 20, 2015 by Eme

[Ridgerunner]

Cissyboo: got it corrected! Was so excited and beside myself, about Season 4, "I almost died!" Just had to get the news on here.

[Ridgerunner]

One of my other rants, I wanna beat the crap out of the enablers of this train wreck. Why do these Alaskans all have to "stick together," and feel so "compelled" to help this full grown jackass and his moron wife? I mean, 1st off, I know, I've said the "lower 48" thing irritates me. The people who talk about "the lower 48" like we're a schoolyard bully, who MADE them shift their group of nerdy friends to the crappy side of the playground, aka...Alaska. Like we're deceased and they've been quarantined from our awful flesh and face eating disorder! 2nd off, why don't they man up to Billy, and just say, "look, you and your wife deserve anything you get. But, these kids you all have sucked the life out of, we are gonna help! But know this....if Discovery would shut those cameras off for like 20 minutes, I'd beat the bum right out of you, and have my wife pistol whip (without the pistol) some sense into that self-centered, self-righteous, ass of a wife of yours!" Like when the POPEYE guy saw Billy you could tell he wanted to just say, "BILLY, BEEN A LOOOOOONG TIME! AND YOU'RE STILL A BUM AND TRYING TO SELL THAT, "DOWN WITH THE MAN," BULLSHIT, ATTITUDE! NICE." And, the captain of the, "SS I'm Gonna Embarrass the Piss Out of You" just wanted to walk away screaming "where's the hidden cameras?"

Last but, not least, am I the only one who sees the similarities in the looks of Billy and the Uncle of Jerry, from Tom & Jerry, who sings "Froggy Went A Courtin and He Did Ride?"

[Beden]

 

One of my other rants, I wanna beat the crap out of the enablers of this train wreck. Why do these Alaskans all have to "stick together," and feel so "compelled" to help this full grown jackass and his moron wife?

Oh my, Ridgey my darlin'--let's be a little serious here for just one minute before one of us dies!!!!!!!!

 

The answer to your heartfelt and completely accurate rant is as easy as pie;

• the enabling production company, those mercenary bastards, are paying out enough $ to keep Hoohan (sp?) afloat (unlike Integrity) from here to kingdom come
• the filled to the brim lodge where the cast and crew are staying,
• the local pizza place getting paid to allow filming and keep the above hoard in 'za,
• the locals getting paid to pretend to date the boys,
• THE DENTIST,
• the local stores where the various Brownies purchase their whatevers,
• the local builders who actually put up the cabin and likely everything else,
• the boat repair people,
• whoever actually owns their lifelong dream property who's getting rental/leasing fees and will likely be able to either live in or rent said cabin
• the car/truck rental company
• the local plane/helicopter pilots
• the 'friends' who help the Brown's--the old fishing friend who hauled their butts to wherever they got hauled
• the cleanup crews who follow the Browns + crew around cleaning up their sunken boats and assorted messes

 

I could go on but you get the drift. You know that old expression; Money talks and bullshit walks. I'm just sayin'

[Ridgerunner]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA indeed! But, I swear to Pete they'd get better ratings if just one person would smack the piss out of Billy! I'm sure of it! My next ponder is: why are we located where we are? Instead of buying property in Hoonah and getting our little sticky fingers in the change purse. Lol, I am just as sure of the answer to that one as I am where I'll be this Friday when the season finale comes on....I hate the cold, I could die! I like to try and space myself from dips who fall into other people's bullshit, voluntarily! I don't like bears, I could be eaten, and die! I don't like sitting in the rain in tank tops, could catch pneumonia and (possibly what?)....die! Don't like spam enough to eat it over open flame 5 nights a week. And as shameful as it is I'm not EXTREME enough to hang! Ridges, I know. Mountains, check. Rattlesnakes, check. Copperheads, bingo. Water Moccasins, cha-ching. Craw dads, big & small mouth bass, indeed! But, you put me in below zero temps, add bears, idiots, hippies, "stinking, rotting, sinkers"=I'd rather die

Edited July 20, 2015 by Ridgerunner

[clod]

thank you, @HalcyonDays

 

 

{ snark:  ON }

 

where to start?  ......

 

before the skiff was launched, it was described as very dangerous stuff.   danger!

 

where did the money come from for the painting and lumber and boat things?    even having someone lift such a large boat and park it on the dock for several days would not be free.  oh, they stuck a 2-second spot in there where someone said the secret password "barter" and that was it.

 

nice paint job on the hull.      oh, when the boat is parked on blocks, well, would that be a good time to inspect and repair the hull?  maybe?       gunwale rotten?       too bad the family didn't have someone with 30 years of commercial fishing experience - who would know something about commercial boats.         also,  fiberglass is repairable.    why not get the Lorcan on the dock and fix it?

 

hurry, hurry, gotta get the inside fixed up so the whole family can have a place to live onboard.   yup.    because he wants to take everyone along on the hauling jobs.    because that's what a real business does.   a real business.      storage for cargo (out of the weather) is unimportant.

 

invite the pro hauler over in the afternoon, and then worry that the boat won't be ready?   huh.   rotten ropes, no tiedowns, and no internal storage.   ready to go!   

I  Iiked the look of the pro's hauling boat.   want to see more about his operation.  

 

oh, he might let us haul something for him!!!!!!!     hurry and put the boat back in the water, even though repairs are not finished.   hurry - otherwise danger.   or something.

 

 

 

want to help?   your brothers are lowering a barrel by block and tackle, holding on to the main rope.    gravity needs help.

 

     JUMP ON THE BARREL  !!!!!!      very good.    thoughtful.   helpful.    why didn't anyone else think of that?   extreme.

 

 

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

she:   I have a list of things I want, quite a story I could tell.   optimistic about the future.

 

he:   I'm 27, unemployed, no house, no property, no money, no independence, no job, no skills, no job.  

Eventually we will have a two-room sod cabin (in the bush) 50 yards from my parents and all my brothers and sisters.    It will be awesome.   I will read my poetry aloud by candlelight while you listen.    We will frequently tell each other how awesome we are.   

 

...        .....       ......      ...................

 

she:        I leave for college.     tomorrow.

Edited July 21, 2015 by clod

[slasherboy]

Last but, not least, am I the only one who sees the similarities in the looks of Billy and the Uncle of Jerry, from Tom & Jerry, who sings "Froggy Went A Courtin and He Did Ride?"

 

I flove "Froggy Went A-Courtin'"!  When I'm out walking my doggie (Scout) I actually, quite often, break into singing it.  Although I've forgotten most of the words, I just make them up and they seem to fit.  Aaawwwww, Froggy .....

 

So, did they just dump those 60-gallon drums on the beach and take off?  No "sign right here mister"?  Oh well, seeing as how they're empty anyhoo.

 

I hate these people.  Yes, Matt's kinda hot in a hog-rollin'-in-the-mud kinda way but this show becomes more groan-worthy every week.  Don't know why, but I can't stand Bird.  And shockingly, I love Bear!  I think it's because he's SO out there, running and jumping and climbing and, again, rollin'-in-the-mud.  How did he break his leg?

 

So the finale is this Friday?  Sigh...  Maybe they'll come up with some granbabies over the winter. BTW, why is Ami always pushing for the BOYS (read: men) to get married and procreate but never the girls?  I know Christmas Tree Happy Easter Groundhog Day is a tad young, but Birdie is ripe for the pickin'.

 

Idiots all.  Except for Cupcake.  I love Cupcake.

[Beden]

'A frog went a 'courtin and he did ride, uh-huh, uh-huh...He rode up to Miss (somebodies) door, uh-huh, uh-huh...' Truly a great song, I've loved it since I was in Brownies (Brownies...get it?)

 

Yup. totally loved the real hauling guy's expression as he toured the work in progress Integrity, rotted ropes, no winch, no tied downs, rotted hull (I'll believe that he has a good eye for these things), Billy's lameass excuses, the boys lameass attempts to look like they knew what they were doing...you can't make this stuff up. Of course, sadly, someone did and Billy+ fam are getting some serious $ to play along. My favorite part though was Billy's realization that he was looking like a major jerk compared to the guy who was legit and that it was likely only a contract with the production company which got him the chance to do some minor job--with the pried out promise that he wouldn't screw up, embarrass hauling captain or screw over his friends by messing up the delivery.

 

Am I the only one who questions how anyone could actually buy this crap as real? Are there folks out there who seriously are wanting to buy plane tickets to Alaska to meet/marry/procreate? Of course there are. What's the saying? 10% never get the memo. PT Barnum's 'no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the public' was spot on.

 

I mourn the end of the season.

[HalcyonDays]

thank you, @HalcyonDays

 

Anytime. For the record, I'm the moderator for this site, so if you have any issues you need to report, by all means, PM me or you can hit that "Report this Post" button to get my attention.

 

Snark all you want about this show - not a problem. That's part of the fun. Just keep it respectful to each other and please don't post disturbing material like that. Cause that's just all icky and wrong....

 

Happy snarking/discussing!

[Ridgerunner]

Don't forget about the yodel....Slasherboy!!!! "There's a yodel that goes in there, somewhere!" That little dude and the flea who sings "Food Around the Corner" from Bugs Bunny, make my day every time I hear them!!

Indeed Beden, I've read recent blogs on my venture to find the court date, of people wanting to know "where to send, movies, supplies, or money to the Browns!" I am telling you that crap runs all over me. Common sense idiots!!!!! THEY MAKE MONEY YOU MORONS!!!!!! It's a tv show...THEY ARE MAKING MONEY!!!!!!

[Ridgerunner]

http://m.axs.com/news/the-brown-family-from-alaskan-bush-people-catapults-to-celebrity-statu-41697

Not sure of the outcome but the court date was in June. I'll see if I can find anything on the outcome...

[clod]

I think the trial is now scheduled for January 2016.

 

 

http://www.courtrecords.alaska.gov/eservices/home.page.2

[Beden]

Goldarnit--I'm Luddite enough to not be on Facebook and so am blocked out of the good gossip. Woe and alas is me--which is why I know I can count on you good folks to keep me up to date about our favorite grifters.

 

Of course, the delayed trial date simply means that the production company simply has to renew--inquiring minds need to know ad can you imagine the ratings spike? Anyone taking bets that the true believers who send the Browns DVD's, $ and food packages will take up a collection to post bail? My god--if they had to leave Browntown, not only would the unfinished building projects fall down, but they might die! Matt taking care of the two girls while the fam sits in the local hoosegow? They could die! Say it ain't so........

[Ridgerunner]

http://www.adn.com/article/20141022/stars-alaska-reality-tv-show-charged-pfd-fraud

Yep Clod you're right! Thanks for the info. The article above just says 60 counts of falsifying and fraud then so many 1st and 2nd degree theft and they received money from 2010-2013....over $13,000. So wow......I'm not sure how you can dance around with any excuseS as to how or why that happened! Not that they'd try, but geeeeezzzzz!

Beden....more than we could shake a stick at, sister!!!! I swear to God..."the good Lord," I understand road rage and "going postal" when it comes to the feeling of rage I just encountered after the reality of some idiotic jackasses, sending bail $! I think after this feeling, it's safe to say I may have sunk a tad more into this subject, than might be healthy for me. I may just DIE!!!!!

Edited July 22, 2015 by Ridgerunner

[Beden]

Ridgey--mon ami!--you can't die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you did I might die! And if you die and I die--then all our dreams that we've worked for all these years may die!

 

And Clod--not to sound like Lady Bountiful (would I was...) but in the scheme of things, $13,000 simply isn't that much money divided among 9 people. Not that I doubt for a second they are likely guilty as hell, but talk about two-bit. They might as well have robbed the local 7-11.

 

Stupid is as stupid does.

[Swedee]

Noah's delusion continues to entertain me. I loved when describing Christi to Ami he said "she's the first person I've met with an intellect to match my own". Well Noah, in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is King. You've lived your whole life sequestered with the likes of Gabe and Bear. Just because you are smarter than those two does not make you a member of Mensa!

[slasherboy]

These are not the lyrics I remember as a young child, and they're certainly not the lyrics I make up as I'm walking Scout!

 

"Froggie Went A Courtin'"

 

Frog went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh
Frog went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh
Frog went a-courtin' and he did ride
With a sword and a pistol by his side, uh-huh.

 

Well he rode right up to Miss Mousey's door, uh-huh
He rode right up to Miss Mousey's door, uh-huh
He rode right up to Miss Mousey's door
Gave three loud raps and a very big roar, uh-huh.

 

Said, "Miss Mouse, are you within ?" uh-huh
Said he, "Miss Mouse, are you within ?" uh-huh
Said, "Miss Mouse, are you within ?"
"Yes, kind sir, I sit and spin," uh-huh.

 

He took Miss Mousey on his knee, uh-huh
Took Miss Mousey on his knee, uh-huh
Took Miss Mousey on his knee
Said, "Miss Mousey, will you marry me ?" uh-huh.

 

"Without my uncle Rat's consent, uh-huh
Without my uncle Rat's consent, uh-huh
Without my uncle Rat's consent
I wouldn't marry the president, uh-huh".

 

Uncle Rat laughed and he shook his fat sides, uh-huh
Uncle Rat laughed and he shook his fat sides, uh-huh
Uncle Rat laughed and he shook his fat sides
To think his niece would be a bride, uh-huh.

 

Uncle rat went runnin' downtown, uh-huh
Uncle rat went runnin' downtown, uh-huh
Uncle rat went runnin' downtown
To buy his niece a wedding gown, uh-huh.

 

Where shall the wedding supper be ? uh-huh

Where shall the wedding supper be ? uh-huh
Where shall the wedding supper be ?
Way down yonder in a hollow tree, uh-huh.

 

What should the wedding supper be ? uh-huh
What should the wedding supper be ? uh-huh
What should the wedding supper be ?
Fried mosquito in a black-eyed pea, uh-huh.

Well, first to come in was a flyin' moth, uh-huh.
First to come in was a flyin' moth, uh-huh.
First to come in was a flyin' moth
She laid out the table cloth, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was a juney bug, uh-huh
Next to come in was a juney bug, uh-huh
Next to come in was a juney bug
She brought the water jug, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was a bumbley bee, uh-huh
Next to come in was a bumbley bee, uh-huh
Next to come in was a bumbley bee
Sat mosquito on his knee, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was a broken black flea, uh-huh
Next to come in was a broken black flea, uh-huh
Next to come in was a broken black flea
Danced a jig with the bumbley bee, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was Mrs. Cow, uh-huh
Next to come in was Mrs. Cow, uh-huh
Next to come in was Mrs. Cow
She tried to dance but she didn't know how, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was a little black tick, uh-huh
Next to come in was a little black tick, uh-huh

Next to come in was a little black tick
She ate so much she made us sick, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was a big black snake, uh-huh
Next to come in was a big black snake, uh-huh
Next to come in was a big black snake
Ate up all of the wedding cake, uh-huh.

 

Next to come in was the old gray cat, uh-huh
Next to come in was the old gray cat, uh-huh
Next to come in was the old gray cat
Swallowed the mouse and ate up the rat, uh-huh.

 

Mr. Frog went a-hoppin' up over the brook, uh-huh
Mr. Frog went a-hoppin' up over the brook, uh-huh
Mr. Frog went a-hoppin' up over the brook
A lily-whit duck come and swallowed him up, uh-huh.

 

A little piece of cornbread layin' on a shelf, uh-huh
A little piece of cornbread layin' on a shelf, uh-huh
A little piece of cornbread layin' on a shelf
If you want any more, you can sing it yourself, uh-huh.

[Beden]

Dang; that's a frigging long song. No wonder I dropped out of Brownies. 'Sing that whole thing and you could die!

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Yinz guys (gals?) are great! So far, I've only seen two episodes of this madness but I am loving it... Was really hoping they would milk the courtin' plot a bit longer. That crap was rich!!!

The toothlessness... The squalor... The lack of two brain cells to rub together!!!

[Ridgerunner]

Yes indeed Slasherboy and with the release of your cd, and all its sweet beats you and Scout sling down, I'll be expecting my copy!!! (COD...cash on delivery, (for the slow folk, just in case we got anyone out there thinking about running for mayor of Browntown)....not asking for a fish, or anything else by the name.

Beden dear, the dang Brownies expected much to much from you, though if you'd have stuck it out, learned the song, and snagged a patch or two, I can't shake the delicious thought that somehow we could all be enjoying a box of thin mints, peanut butter yummies, Eskimo daisies, or bless my heart, whatever the names are....they're all divine. But I forgive you, "the good Lord" (that he is), forgives you. And I'm not sure but, I don't think "we'll die".....THOUGH stranger things have happened!

And Swedee, yes, yes, yes, you'll find that Noah is quite smitten with himself! He's his biggest fan! From, "chivalry will live as long as he does," to "no girl has made it to the 2nd date." The all popular, " it's been said I'm a modern day DaVinci" right down to "never meeting anyone who can match my intellect!" Yep, he's not only, a catch....but he's the whole crack pot...I mean...crab pot! And I'm talking BEFORE the bear crapped on it! Indeed!!! And as far as "genetically engineering" him the perfect woman, BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I'm sorry I just got a flash of a chic made out of bicycle parts, a drawer from the filing cabinet/smoker, a couple leftover 2x4s, and the deer heart in the jar, on his shelf. Then maybe Bear will paddle up some electricity to zap her "alive" with!!!! And whamo.....a modern day Benjamin Franklin will arise from the ashes and the long list of modern day....whoevers that he thinks he's equivalent to! Hahaha I'm sorry....it's just so humorous because they've really got the poor kid believing it! I encouraged my kids, supported them, and yeah blew a lil' smoke occasionally, to bring them to their next level of success! But, then again we never agreed to do a documentary on how to live like bums and off the sweat, and ridicule of my sons backs, broken bones, and all the near death situations that ol' Bill puts his brood through, either! Dang it.....I wanna save Matt! That's just as plain as I can put it. Lol

But, Beden, do you think........you know..........

[clod]

thanks for reminding me, Ridge!       I  almost forgot the never had a third date before thing.   

 

 

 

 

and Bear on the bike!   he jumped on that thing and pedaled furiously.   I was hoping they would stay with it long enough to see him run out of gas.     a couple shots later, he was pedaling slower.  :)  

 

 

hawkhd,  I think there will be more matchmaking.    it's a critical part of Browntown's future!

Edited July 23, 2015 by clod

[Beden]

Yinz guys (gals?) are great! So far, I've only seen two episodes of this madness but I am loving it... Was really hoping they would milk the courtin' plot a bit longer. That crap was rich!!!

The toothlessness... The squalor... The lack of two brain cells to rub together!!!

And here we have a newbie to join us and add a new and heightened dimension of snark for our little family--thank the good lord!

 

Ridgey....thin mints....yuuuum! Not worth sticking with brownies but damn tasty when purchased from some young ladies wearing sashes and manning a card table  in front of my local store.

 

Noah---am I the only one who thinks that he has just a touch of The Donald (Trump) in his overblown ego? And yes, of course, we all do our best to build self-esteem in our younguns' but sometimes a slap of reality doesn't hurt; otherwise they could die! ..says the mommy whose only loin fruit is a glassworker making high end, stupid expensive (and I hasten to add, completely legal) bongs. Hell's belles--at least he found something he enjoys and is good at, that lil scamp. Maybe he could barter a couple for a roof on the main cabin in Browntown? A donation to the cause?

 

I dunno--I'm failing to see the Matt love. Okay, he's the only adult there who isn't indicted in the fraud case but he's just such a crap actor to my eyes...always hiding a smirk about the scam they're running, knowing damn well that he's going back to the nice, cozy lodge when they finish filming for the day, knowing he doesn't really have to pound a single nail unless it's on camera, knowing that if they don't kill a deer they can just order pizza down the road. And he also seems to inherited the Brown propensity for gray hair..nothing wrong with that, the good lord knows, but it's aging that boy.

[Ridgerunner]

Hahahahahahaha I swear to "the good Lord," Beden I was thinking the same thing about his hair. Not sure where I'd drop him after I rescued him, but feel if I don't he's just gonna end up as bear bait. And I think they need to splice these kids open and study them...if for no other reason, as to why they haven't killed each other, or a parent. I don't like Billy's attitude with them when the cameras are rolling, let alone how he's treated them growing up and when the cameras are off. I bet he was an ass. It's like the storm that hit after they finished the trapper shack, him telling the kids to hurry get everything secured and tied down, "knock the camera men down, this isn't about them, right now!" It's like wow, that's pretty rotten to say to the people who are filming your jackass life & putting money in your pocket. I don't know you can just tell he could be an ass with no effort!

Hey I think that would be a cool trade, working with glass!!! And glad he enjoys it! Not a lot of people can sat that. So in my care package, (I plan on you sending me someday Beden), I expect the published poems/book your sister-in-law wrote, a nice piece of glassware, and a pic of you standing next to your giant sons. Thank you so much for thinking of me to "voluntarily" want to do that for me, a rank stranger.

Clod: you're welcome my friend, I spend MUCH TOOOO MUCH time watching, laughing, and shaking my head, at this show. I'm telling you this dog thinks I'm a nut!!! He's actually learned the intro music and just lays down, after looking at me, like "well here we go again!" Plus, there's Mr. Cupcake....I wonder if he ever watches Mr. Cupcake the same way we look at the Browns? Like...."oh come on, no dog in their right mind attaches himself to a human that way, unless he's practicing attacking, at doggy boot camp! Or is a police dog!"

When I saw ol' Bear jump & straddle that bike, I thought yep, he just smashed the twig and berries, and waited for a scream to ensue...which didn't happen. But, yep at first sight of his peddling I was sure they'd be bringing a brown paper bag out to him....again....disappointment consumed me.

Hawked: welcome aboard and no worries as Clod has so graciously pointed out, this train wreck is no where near the end of its derailment. We welcome all twisted snarking, that you want to pour out

[Ridgerunner]

http://www.adn.com/article/20141022/stars-alaska-reality-tv-show-charged-pfd-fraud

You gotta read this interview its with an old girlfriend of Matt's.who says she felt unwelcomed around Billy, and was never invited into the house because of Ami's anxiety? Plus there's a picture of a mess left behind in the house they rented and the ex-girlfriend says people come up to her all the time cause they know she was involved with Matt, wanting to know if she can get the money the Browns owe them. Wow! And she was being super nice cause she "loves and misses Matt so much." So this isn't a scornful interview, she's actually nervous about how what she said might be portrayed. Also agrees that big Billy's a control freak and you know those grandbabies Ami is preaching and preaching and requesting and preaching about wanting.....this chic had 3 (prego with the 3rd one, when her and Matt last saw each other), so apparently they have to be pure bred bush dips, to satisfy Ami's itch. She also pointed out that the bartering they did for the fish for Rainy's teeth was NOT true the receptionist was actually one of the camera crew and that the dentist laughs about it still yet because no one barbers that way. That was all fake. Just thought it was interesting.

Edited July 24, 2015 by Ridgerunner

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Caught up on the latest episode last night my friends. The barrels! Lo! The "600#" barrels. That little skiff would have been sink sank sunk! I've captained boats of all varieties since I was a wee one. I bet max capacity for that boat is 300-400#. Heck, a 20' ski boat with a big V8 motor is only capable of 700-800# of people & equipment. There was no fuel in those barrels; there is required badging were they filled with fuel. Noah must have found some dented up old barrels (to fill full of Billy's bullshit) at the dump and hauled them home about his new executive desk chair... Make sure you put the brakes on, don't want it to roll away.. Or you could die!!! Props to the Hoonah shipping magnate there for keeping a straight face... I couldn't! I am still trying to process the "sale price" of $5k on the rotted sinking stinker's boat.... Anything more than a stale bag of Doritos was overpaying for that thing. Billy's talking heads creep me the freak out... No no no! Loved Noah's half paragraph letter written in his best second grade scrawl... She was fleeting... English major with a Masters here... And I can't even.

[Ridgerunner]

And to think Bill, commercial Fisherman of over 30 years, says that boat was worth $20,000 anywhere else. I can't help it, it's just how I feel, all they are is professional bums. Literally! AND they've made a pretty good life of it. Not to mention raised 7, yep 7, children off the graciousness of other people. People STUPID enough to buy into that, Christian fesod. Christians aren't supposed to bum, steal, lie, or hide behind the cloak of "the good Lord," to get what they want for their own personal wants and needs. Not to mention that "down with the man" attitude they have! Hey Billy, the bible says obey mans law as you do mine. I know so much lays at the producers feet, but, come on!!! Like Billy said, in one of the other seasons, "if I rub my nose like this, my family knows this person is nuts, let's get out of here!" Uh...to the best of my knowledge, I've never set down with my family to discuss "secret signs." I mean do they put their hand in their pocket or rub, where a wallet should be, when they've got one cornered whose fixing to hand them a bunch of money? And according to the interview with Matt's ex, he wants to move to California and become an actor.....guess he's got a career there.

[clod]

Good news!     They made a deal (barter) with some local who had some spare outboard motor parts in the backyard.    Another deal (barter) with a passing cruise ship from Ketchikan for some surplus copper wire and off-white paint.  

 

Side note, the Ketchikan people were glad to see them.  Well,  glad to see them THERE.   

 

Anyway, the boat was fixed up and spiffed up, and is now ready to haul some cargo!    With plenty of room for the whole family and the spouses and granbabeeees and stuff.

 

 

 

 

That was a close one.    The future of the family depends on it.   It doesn't depend on the younger generation of men being productive.  Nope.     The boat means everything.   Without it, danger or something.

 

 

 

 

[Beden]

 

Anything more than a stale bag of Doritos was overpaying for that thing.

Okay Hawk--you may be the newbie but there's rules on this forum--you don't snark Doritos. You listenin'? No snarking the Doritos!

 

 

Not to mention raised 7, yep 7, children off the graciousness of other people. People STUPID enough to buy into that, Christian fesod.

 

Well Ridgey--you just know that they raised them that passel of younguns with the help and guidance of the Good Lord--who will provide, dangit. 'Haven't had time to read that article regarding Matt's former GF but I'm so looking forward to it. And even if Billy wasn't this side of psychotic (control freak, indicted felon, owing money right and left, the majority of the family clearly following in his crooked footsteps...and on and on) I can't imagine what it would be like to try to get accepted by that crew. Between the inbred closeness, the seriously suspect lifestyles, the beyond questionable hygiene and what seems to be the barely literate level of the kids--yikes. And can we even begin to consider the mind set which would be okay with the level of shyster which pervades Browntown?

 

 

And according to the interview with Matt's ex, he wants to move to California and become an actor.....guess he's got a career there.

Um...no. You try swimmin' with them there Hollywood sharks and you could die!

Edited July 24, 2015 by Beden

[Blondie]

Watching the reruns of the episodes and I have ?s
 

Is it A-me or Ah-me?  Because I hear her and Billy say A-me yet the narrator call her Ah-me.

When Ami and the youngest were working the deer hide she was sewing the bullet hole with dental floss.  Why the heck didn't they use it on their teeth?  Maybe she could have kept some of them.

While the boys (who are definitely "challenged") were loading the barrels onto the "Integrity" you could see the rot and damage to the starbord side of the bow.  Yet none of the boys could figure that one out?   And while working on the interior they couldn't see the damage????? p.s.  I completely agree with a previous poster about the weight of the barrels sinking the skiff.

Glligans Island (again mentioned previously) with Noah and his inventions. 

 

Weirdos, the whole lot of them.

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Okay Hawk--you may be the newbie but there's rules on this forum--you don't snark Doritos. You listenin'? No snarking the Doritos!

Well Ridgey--you just know that they raised them that passel of younguns with the help and guidance of the Good Lord--who will provide, dangit. 'Haven't had time to read that article regarding Matt's former GF but I'm so looking forward to it. And even if Billy wasn't this side of psychotic (control freak, indicted felon, owing money right and left, the majority of the family clearly following in his crooked footsteps...and on and on) I can't imagine what it would be like to try to get accepted by that crew. Between the inbred closeness, the seriously suspect lifestyles, the beyond questionable hygiene and what seems to be the barely literate level of the kids--yikes. And can we even begin to consider the mind set which would be okay with the level of shyster which pervades Browntown?

Um...no. You try swimmin' with them there

Hollywood sharks and you could die!

I love Doritos! ...just not stale ones.

I didn't realize Bear was 27 til I saw his TH this episode... I thought he was like a 15 year old caveman... Frozen in the ice for 60,000 years and incubated with a poultice of patchouli and hot garbage.

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Don't wear a necklace... Or you could die!!! I saw that eyepatch coming a mile away. Modern day pirates they are!

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

Fish punching, good God!

[Tukahar]

Pretty nice fishing gear...and binoculars...and the electronic systems on the rotten stinking sinker. I guess Discovery put out some bucks so they didn't all DIE. I can't even respond to the Neanderthal punching the fish.

Edited July 25, 2015 by Tukahar

[Beden]

Okay Hawk--you're off the proverbial hook; but I maintain that Doritos are Doritos--stale, soggy or just as the good lord meant them to be.

 

So watching that finale a few minutes ago all I could think was that this whole series is Woody Allen's rewrite of the Clampetts.

 

The real hauling captain gives them a chance to start their business but..Oh no!...there's a big ole rotted board on the gunwale and the boat could sink and they could die! But they jury rig and bullshit patch with patch gunk (and never mind putting another board over it to strengthen the mess) and carry on but...oh no!...the steering is screwed and if they don't get it fixed they can't make their drop offs and their business could die! But it's okay because they dump some hydraulic fluid in the system and--like magic!--it's fixed but they can't leave yet because Brother Matt blinds himself in one eye by hitting himself in the eye with his pagan necklace. But he's okay, just 1/2 blind so they take off late into the maelstrom of the evil tide where they could die! And the ship could sink! But it's okay until they get to the first drop off and now the water's too shallow and the boat could hit the rocks and then both Integrity and the Browns could die! But it's okay because the local bush people are compadres and the kids love their new baby goats. Moving on after murdering a slew of fish the evidently don't eat because they all have to get some sleep we move on for more fun dropping off the wood and gym mats. Anyone notice they dragged them in their plastic shipping bags which had to have torn the hell out of them and rendering them as brandy-new as the 40 year old mats they're supposed to replace--hadn't it occurred to them to may get, oh, I dunno, maybe some dolly's or at least hand trucks for deliveries? Nah. But it's okay because now they have smelly 40 year old gym mats to use on their boat for padding--why no one thought of using it to pad those dock pilings...why do I even ask? Silly me.

 

Eventually they get back to Beartown to find it trashed by those pesky bear neighbors and pluckily set to cleaning up, setting things to rights and carrying on because that's what Browns do because they work together.

 

Am I the only one who noticed that they didn't check the house for those naughty neighbors? They just said it was lucky that the bears couldn't get into the house-- whew!--until later that night when they all crawl into get some shuteye and..yup, you guessed it...they all die!

 

 

Pretty nice fishing gear...and binoculars...and the electronic systems on the rotten stinking sinker. I guess Discovery put out some bucks so they didn't all DIE. I can't even respond to the Neanderthal punching the fish.

I maintain that the boat (along with everything else in this mashup since episode 1 of season 1) was bought, leased or borrowed by Discovery and has been all along to further the scripted plot. The good lord knows that I am a cynic of the first order.

 

 

edited because my typing sucks tonight

Edited July 25, 2015 by Beden

[clod]

that was some nice, modern nav gear, wasn't it?    amazing what bush barter can get ya.   ;)

 

I wondered if they ate the fish, too.    They caught more than one meal's worth.

 

 

Am I the only one who noticed that they didn't check the house for those naughty neighbors?

 

 

 

I noticed that.    Checking the house (and under the house) would have been a priority for me.

 

One of them ran to "get his gun".  So I guess the house was clear.  :)

 

chickens?  what about the chickens - their primary food source, without which they could...............................   nah.   you know.

 

 

 

made for TV moment   #1251 :     climb a tree and howl for me.     right.

 

 

 

 

[CN42]

Watching the reruns of the episodes and I have ?s

 

Is it A-me or Ah-me?  Because I hear her and Billy say A-me yet the narrator call her Ah-me.

When Ami and the youngest were working the deer hide she was sewing the bullet hole with dental floss.  Why the heck didn't they use it on their teeth?  Maybe she could have kept some of them.

While the boys (who are definitely "challenged") were loading the barrels onto the "Integrity" you could see the rot and damage to the starbord side of the bow.  Yet none of the boys could figure that one out?   And while working on the interior they couldn't see the damage????? p.s.  I completely agree with a previous poster about the weight of the barrels sinking the skiff.

Glligans Island (again mentioned previously) with Noah and his inventions. 

 

Weirdos, the whole lot of them.

 

Her name is Amora (I think that's the spelling), pronounced Ah-mora, shortened to Ah-me. I'm embarrassed I know this.

 

As somebody else pointed out, yes, it's ironic the new boat is named Integrity.

[Ridgerunner]

CN42: you shouldn't feel embarrassed, that you knew Am's name...(in a really quiet whisper)...I knew, too LOL! However, her mother and alcoholic father should maybe feel a sting of embarrassment every time it's said on television. Just goes to show the idiot"ism" runs deep on both sides of the street in this family.

Clod: thank you! I was saying the exact same thing about the poor chickens!

Beden: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Doritos do rock, indeed. And, I also noticed tonight, how many times Billy says, "we don't have any other choice!" But "we could die" is the phrase I'd like to have $1 for every time it's said! Oh yeah Matt's ex makes and sells handmade jewelry online. And has jewelry up for sale that she & Matt made together out of old silverware. Rrrrrrrrrrr mait"y".....You wanna walk the plank? You might die, rrrrrrrrrrr!

I wondered, as well, what slop Ami stewed up for the clan...but, they cut that part out. I'm sure it was worthy of her bush cookbook.

[Beden]

Oh yikes, the chickens! I was worried about them too. Okay, I live in the lower 48 (color me ashamed) but various neighbors of mine have had chickens, ducks and geese over the years and, bless the good lord, were always mighty generous with their fresh eggs. Unfortunately they (the chicks, not the neighbors) all came to a sad and quick end via the local fox population. I'm thinking those birds wouldn't have stood much of a chance against hungry bears and being locked in a coop wouldn't have helped--bears are darn strong.

 

And I'm such a Luddite--I couldn't find Matt's ex anywhere. Dagnabit.

 

So now I'm verklempt--no more Brown fixes for months and months...I cheer myself with the thought of our heroes and heroines battling 'da man' in court because they did nothing wrong! And it's so unfair. I cringe thinking about what could happen to Browntown--it could die! I'm thinking we should take up a collection and send then a case of Doritos because we have no choice...

 

Okay, in true I'm really waiting for the reality of their shady finances come to light; snark city!

[clod]

So now I'm verklempt--no more Brown fixes for months and months...rk city!

 

 

there was mention of a new show next week, made up of previously unused clips.

 

you know what that means?      it means the show is popular enough to have a future.   

[Ridgerunner]

Ok Beden I shall help you (said in my best NOAH voice) I shan't let you down because of my, lacking 'post copying' skills:)

Yeah we raised chicks since I was a little girl. Opossums, raccoon, owls, Hawks (not hawkhd), and never encountered one but from your stories, anything that can come into your house, make itself at home, then trot out like, "love what you've done with the place. So until next time......MORE"), bears would make light work of any shack these idiots propped together as living quarters, let alone whatever cardboard box they threw together for the poor chickens. Now I'd think of a few more little carnivores but, I'm sure the realistic and unison howls of the Browns, has sent them scurrying!

Yes the knowledge of knowing they'll be back gives me hope...hope in stem cell research, hope in the ability to spread world peace.....hope in......yeahhhhh not so much. But, I'm just so tickled, I could die!