Quote Thread: Say what you're gonna say, or prepare for eternal fucking silence!

[Wilowy]

Al Swearengen: Request of the widow Garret E.B. that I may be allowed to call upon her

E.B. Farnum: Today? Shall I tell her time is of the essence?

Al Swearengen: When ain't it?

E.B. Farnum: I'll aim for early afternoon...

Al Swearengen: Stop walking with me E.B.

E.B. Farnum: Yes, of course. And if she pries and pokes and prods me to elicit your intentions?

Al Swearengen: Tell her I wouldn't say.

E.B. Farnum: And if she asks me why you wouldn't?

Al Swearengen: Say you're a pain in my balls that can't desist from inquiry till told to shut his fucking mouth and act on the task he was asked to fucking do!

[David T. Cole]

My favorite line from this, my favorite show, is "Welcome to fucking Deadwood!" at the end of the Seth-Al fight and the tumble off the balcony in front of Seth's sister-in-law and nephew.

On the more everyday (in the privacy of one's home) quotables is my fav from Tom Nuttall: "And all those that disagree suck cock by choice!" which should be used for very unimportant things like black cherry jello is tastier than cherry jello.

[Wilowy]

Ha ha! Nuttall! Such a nice guy in an unfortunate place. But his 'By-Cycle' was the hit of the camp and he was reveling in his new popularity... I love that quote too.

I also love Ellsworth's 'flatter'n hammered shit' monologue at the Gem, and Trixie... oh Trixie. 

Al's blowjob monologues are also classic, and we get real insight to his horrific past and childhood. And I had to stop myself from putting every Jane quote I found in here at once. She's fucking fried gold. 

I'll be here a LOT. Thanks for making this forum, David (is it weird I wanna call you Glark?).

[alynch]

I've always loved this exchange between Al & Cy, back in the first season before Cy became such a buffoon and was a legitimate rival to Al:

Al: You do realize I'm presenting you with a mutual problem?

Cy: Which I expect's a little ways down the road, so I'm waxing philosophical 'till you tell me what you want.

Al: I made a deal with the boss Chink to give him one of the two dope fiends.

Cy: Do I assume some piece of the opium this courier bore was intended for you? Ah, so you got a reason to keep the Chink boss happy. I don't, so I can stand on principle.

[David T. Cole]

I respond to David, Dave and Glark. I am well trained.

[Cheetosandchoc]

I found a way to incorporate "those who disagree suck cock by choice" in conversation with my husband last night. He choked on his water Hahaha. I need to research this awesome show so I can participate!

I meant Re watch this show.

[walnutqueen]

"COCKSUCKAH!"

I cannot pronounce it the proper way, ever again. 

[Lisin]

Swingin is one of my favourites too.

[Wilowy]

Mr. Wu: Bok Gwai Lo... cocksucka!
Al Swearengen: Yeah, glad I taught you that fuckin' word. These are whites, huh?
Mr. Wu: White cocksucka! [shows empty bag]
Al Swearengen: Two white cocksuckers killed him and stole the dope that he was bringing to you.
Mr. Wu: White cocksucka! You, Swedgin.
Al Swearengen: [suddenly enraged] The dope that you were gonna fuckin' sell to me?
Mr. Wu: White cocksucka.
Al Swearengen: These two white cocksuckers? Who the fuck did it?
Mr. Wu: Wu?
Al Swearengen: "Who," you ignorant fuckin' chink!
Mr. Wu: Wu!
Al Swearengen: Who? Who? Who stole the fucking dope?
Mr. Wu: Cocksucka!
Al Swearengen: Aw, Jesus.

[Wilowy]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jane: Get out of my fucking light.
Mose: It's me.
Jane: Who is me? The fucking eclipse?
Mose: Mose Manuel.
Jane: Oh, really? I thought it -- it was Giganto, the runaway circus elephant.
Mose: Miss Stubbs has been looking for you. Those kids need chaperoning to the new schoolhouse, Jane. [Jane turns away and puts her hands to her ears, shutting her eyes.] Get up and walk them kids.
Jane: Okay, Giganto! Don't tusk me to death with your tusks. [steadies herself, sheathing her gun] How long do I have to assemble myself?
Mose: They'll be ready to go in a few minutes.
Jane: Shut up.

[Fisher King]

HUGO JARRY:  Will you two be quiet?
JANE:  Not only will we not be quiet, you frog-faced fuck. I'm gonna take this stick, and drag it back and forth across the bars of your cell.
HUGO JARRY:  I am not a prisoner. I am in protective custody.
JANE:  In care of a deputy deputized by the deputy sheriff, who orders you to shut the fuck up!
HUGO JARRY: I'm thirsty.
JANE:  Lie on your back, take aim and piss.

[radishcake]

Dave OBVIOUSLY black cherry jello is superior. "twdscbc"

My favorite quote is "Announcin' your plans is a good way to hear god laugh".. @Willowy I think my favorite conversations are between Al & Mr. Wu. Underneath it all Al had a soft spot for him that I found charming.

[Cheetosandchoc]

I liked Jewel too. Al had a soft spot for her too.

[Wilowy]

Hey hoopleheads! Welcome!

Just want to let you know in the future I'll be moving all non-quote comments to their respective fuckin' character threads. If anyone wants to start a thread, feel free! For a show that's not airing any more, I won't be creating individual episode threads, but I'll make separate threads for all three seasons so we can discuss the episodes in there! Also if there IS a specific episode that you just love, feel free to create a thread for it.

Fisher King, your last post has the honor of now being the inaugural post in the Doc Cochran thread! Huzzah!

[alynch]

Al: "What a type you must consort with that you not fear beating for such an insult."

[CherryMalotte]

"In life you have to do a lot of things you don't fucking want to do. Many times, that's what the fuck life is... one vile fucking task after another."

Truer words were never spoken... 

[Wilowy]

Two that I just LOVE:

"Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live." - Jane

and

"Alright Mrs. Garrett, you've had your hissy fit, now get the fuck back to your room." - The inimitable Miss Isringhausen

[David T. Cole]

Dave OBVIOUSLY black cherry jello is superior. "twdscbc"

http://i.imgur.com/nHaGL.gif

[radishcake]

BEST gif ever. 

[Wilowy]

A.W. Merrick: May I say, Dan, having resumed drinking alcohol, I cannot for the life of me remember why I ever gave it up.

[walnutqueen]

Al Swearengen:  God rest the souls of that poor family ... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.

[Wilowy]

Al Swearengen: Woman lives in your fucking hotel, but you can't find pretext for pressing the offer on her claim?
E.B. Farnum: I can't outflank Trixie, Al. The whore guards that widow like a mother hen.
Al Swearengen: She's dosed her with opium, priming her for your approach.
E.B. Farnum: Be that as it may...
Al Swearengen: E.B., put that offer in your pocket, you knock on the widow's door.
E.B. Farnum: But Trixie'll answer.
Al Swearengen: Trixie answers you tell her that I want to talk to her. Trixie leaves, you gain entry, broach the sale. Can you circumnavigate the child or must I map that for you too?
E.B. Farnum: [mutters under his breath]
Al Swearengen: What?
E.B. Farnum: Nothing.
Al Swearengen: [on hearing a knock at the door] Come on in, Doc, him and me are finished. Anyway, don't play that shit where you make me drag your words outta you. Declare, or shut the fuck up!

[walnutqueen]

E.B. Farnum (as Jane heads upstairs to see Alma): Her gutter mouth, and the widow in an opium stupor.  Conversation for the ages.

[Wilowy]

LOL I love it, and the exchange with Jane just prior:

Jane: I'm here to call on the widow and the little one in her care.

EB: Be brief.

Jane: BE FUCKED!

[Catherinewriter]

Does anyone remember a good quote about the peaches?

[Wilowy]

Jewel: I put out cinnamon.
Dan Dority: Where?
Jewel: The meeting table.
Dan Dority: On whose instruction?
Jewel: Cinnamon's good with peaches.
Dan Dority: Do not put unauthorized cinnamon on the goddamn meeting table! That's all the fuck we need.

[Catherinewriter]

What is "authorized" cinnamon, one wonders. 

[Wilowy]

Ha!

Okay'd by Al, I presume. 

[walnutqueen]

I love Al's bloodstain scrubbing conversation with Jewel (wondering why Trixie hasn't returned as promised):

Al: Now what's she doing; is she making a point, no grabbing of the cunt?  Is that what she said to you?

Jewel: No

Al: I mean, she told you, right, that I grabbed her - did she have an attitude about it?

Jewel:  She didn't have an attitude  She just said her pussy hurt.

Al: Points made with the snatch grabbing. OK.   Fifty other fucking things I should be paying attention to; rosiest prospects of my career, and here I am, on my hands and knees, discussing snippets of information with a fucking gimp.  There (throws brush into bucket), now that's how you clean a bloodstain

[walnutqueen]

I am trying my best not to quote every fucking thing Deadwood, but The scene right after Doc braces Jane about her drinking, Charlie Utter approaches :

Utter: What do they pay you to hold that buildin' up?

Jane: Charlie Utter ... of Utter, Charlie & Freight?

Utter: Close enough to get you offered a position.

Jane: I'm in a position, you eternally meddlin' cocksucker.

Utter: Yeah.  Leanin' forward, shitfaced drunk.

[Wilowy]

Do not stop! It's wonderful to read these and hear their voices as I read - their inflection, cadence, everything! :D

[Catherinewriter]

Truly, her position learning against the building is an image of Jane's character - no dialogue needed.

I hate to quote every fuckin thing, too, but these two are from Al after the meeting to form a government:

ad fuckin hoc free fuckin gratis

[walnutqueen]

I hardly need your encouragement, Willowy (as you may already have noticed!), but if you insist ...

E.B. Farnum:  August commencement to my administration; standing stymied outside a saloon beside a degenerate titlicker. 

(degenerate titlicker has found its way into my personal lexicon)

Edited April 17, 2014 by walnutqueen

[walnutqueen]

Al (of Bullock): He don't know if he's breathin' or taking it in through fucking gills - he is that fucking cuntstruck.  They're afloat, in some fairy fucking bubble, lighter than air - him, her snatch and his stupid fucking badge!

[Wilowy]

"You don't want to be starin' that way... at me." ~ Al to Bullock

[walnutqueen]

"You don't want to be starin' that way... at me." ~ Al to Bullock

 

One of the most menacing lines I've ever heard - it was all in the delivery.

[Wilowy]

Agreed. Imagine how lackluster and benign that line would have been coming from a lesser actor. 

[walnutqueen]

Agreed. Imagine how lackluster and benign that line would have been coming from a lesser actor.

 

and how less sexy?!  [/shallow}]

[walnutqueen]

Most menacing line/delivery also-ran:

Cy: Don't believe there's no good women ... till you've seen one with maggots in her eyes.

[Wilowy]

Ugh! HATE Cy! The growl with which he delivers the last of that line is forever burned in my memory. Such a skeevy fucker! SO glad when he got gutted. 

[walnutqueen]

The guy is pure EEEEEEVIL!!!  He seemed to get worse as the series progressed (and the more tenuous his hold on Joanie became).

"Psychic fucking twin to Wolcott"  - they're specialists.

Edited April 20, 2014 by walnutqueen

[Wilowy]

"I am not a politician!"

[honeywest]

Al (after Hearst arrives): "We are in the presence of the new."

E.B.: "Fuck the fucking new!"

[walnutqueen]

Trixie:   Fuck every fucking one of you.  I wish I was a fucking tree,

[Wilowy]

I love that one. She is so a thousand percent done with these cocksuckers. xD

Here's a Jane nugget (there are so many): 

Question I wake to in the morning and pass out with at night: "What's my popularity with my fellow white people?"

[walnutqueen]

Ellsworth:  Panic's easier on the back than a short handled shovel.

Alma:  I see.

Ellsworth:  The Creator in all his infinite wisdom, Miz Garrett, salted his work so that where gold was, there also you'd find rumor.  Though he decreed just as firm that the opposite wouldn't always hold.

 

Dan:  A creature walked the ground on hind legs, just like Crop-Ear and half a dozen bushwhackers out in the forest; ones I'd fall in with or out, whatever suited my daily purpose.  That's what I was, till I crossed paths with Al.

Trixie:  Well bang the drum and play the pipes and I'll rend our fuckin' garments.

Dan:  I was just sayin'.

Trixie:  I ain't hearin' confessions this afternoon.

 

 

[Wilowy]

I love how Dan feels as though Al 'saved' him. And the fact that this murderous cutthroat, this henchman, knows love and loyalty is a perfect example of the perfect writing of this series, of the richness of character. I do love talking about all of it, but I also do, very much, miss it. 

[walnutqueen]

I know exactly how you feel, Willowy.  This show created characters and dialogue that could elicit some very deep emotional and intellectual contemplation;  it also gave me a profound love for humanity (humans, not so much, but still a miraculous thing for this misanthropic recluse).  I ache for that richness of character you mention, and miss it as much today as when the series was cancelled.

[Wilowy]

The main thing that gives me solace is that the principals know this. They know just how deeply we were and are invested in the show, and they know why, because they feel it too. Deadwood was an incredibly powerful work of television art, and I don't know that the magic it held for us will ever be duplicated. 

[honeywest]

"Disperse this riotous assembly! . . . I'll motherfuck you and blow your fucking head off!"