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Small Talk: The Welcome Mat


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54 minutes ago, Spunkygal said:

Please let your pestering relative know that you are ok but need space. He/she may become particularly worried if you don’t reply.  So glad the weather was beautiful and you had a visit to the club. Thank you for checking in. 

I just sent them a WhatsApp telling them that I'm fine but don't want to talk.

This is after they called Dr. Kristi and had her contact me...

ETA: And they replied that if that hadn't worked they would have called the police. What am I? A child?

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 3

Your emotions are so very (understandably) raw right now. Please know that they must greatly care about you and are sad about Buddy. It’s nice to have friends and loved ones who understand when a loss has shattered our lives and who worry about us. Some people think dogs are “just” an animal and this relative knows that Buddy was more than that—he was family. If I had not responded to friends when Honey passed last year, I would be touched if someone had gone to great lengths to make sure I was ok. So I hope after a bit of rest, you’ll see that they care enough to share your grief. 

  • Love 4
9 minutes ago, Spunkygal said:

I would be touched if someone had gone to great lengths to make sure I was ok. 

Yes, I understand, and I do appreciate their concern. This is a relative I love very much, make no mistake. But they were on the phone to me not three minutes after I said goodbye to him. I was still parked in the vet's yard. I told them everything there was to know.  I told them I didn't need them to come over and hold my hand. I told them they didn't have to call me later to ask questions I couldn't answer. I asked them to give me some space. I just wanted a few hours to process.

Instead they acted like I was a relapsed heroin-addict or someone on suicide watch. This from someone who most in this world (probably) should know there was no need to be concerned.

It doesn't matter. I'll hopefully have something to tell them tomorrow.

  • Love 3

I went to the vet this morning to make his final arrangements. His care has been completely out of my hands for the last two weeks, but I knew I could do at least this for him.

The parking lot was full, so I parked down the road and walked in. As I sat on the bench waiting my turn, who should I see trying to sneak out of the lot? The very over-concerned relative I mentioned yesterday.  When I button-holed them, they said they had come to arrange for his cremation, but that the vet no longer arranges cremations. I thanked them, and went in as they drove away.

True, they don't arrange cremations any longer, but the vet made a personal call to the Government Vet Lab and they agreed to do the job. I went and bought a small tarpaulin, and they wrapped him and put him in the back of the van. I drove him slowly and carefully to the appointed place, and a very kindly man took him inside and promised to call me by Wednesday morning to come and collect his ashes. It doesn't really matter if they take a few days longer than expected -- we both can wait.

When I get the ashes back, I will wait until the next sunny weekday, and then I will scatter his last remains over the place that he loved the most. My niece Heidi will most likely come with me, and old Rudy might show up as well. They were there with me when Dotty's ashes were scattered. Any of his friends can come along if they wish, but I am not going to lay that burden upon them, and I won't go on a day when any of the guys might be expected to be there otherwise.

By the way, when I made inquiries at the vet office about paying his bill, I was told that it had already been paid in full. So I have no reason to go back there any time soon. 

Saw Dr. Kristi this morning who prescribed a new puppy. Offered to write the prescription on an official prescription form. (She is a good woman, a good friend and a good sport. She once prescribed scones with strawberry preserves and clotted cream.)  I am not going to even consider another doggie until I have processed Buddy's death and grieved for him a while. If it should come to pass that I do decide to get another little pup, you will of course, be introduced to him first thing.

Now my friends, I really am going to go dark for a few days. I have nothing in my life worth telling you about, any more.

 

I just collected his ashes and brought them home. I have left them in the car for now, and will bring them inside later. If the weather behaves itself I will scatter his ashes Thursday afternoon, probably 3-4ish, if Heidi (my niece) can organize her time - she wishes to be there. A light, cooling breeze, and no rain, is all I want.

I have received the go-ahead from the club President, which is no surprise, since he was one of Bud's good friends.

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Here he is about 6 months ago, 'assisting' President Aussie with a model as the sun goes down.

Last night as I sat at my desk with my arms at my sides, I felt him lick my hand. I looked town down to pat his head...

 

 

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 1

Ah @Netfoot I follow yours and Buddy's adventures and my heart breaks for you.

I am very sorry for the loss of your beloved companion. 

2 hours ago, Netfoot said:

Last night as I sat at my desk with my arms at my sides, I felt him lick my hand. I looked town down to pat his head...

I like to think Buddy was trying to comfort you.  Not much will help in this raw time but maybe he is looking out for you.

FWIW, when my girl Tai passed away, it was a long time before I put her bowls away.  Everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with leaving things out if that is what you want to do.

Thank you for sharing the photo album.

Take care.

 

  • Love 6

It couldn't have been a nicer afternoon. The sky was blue, there were a few puffy, white clouds in the distance and the sun shone down warmly. Well actually, quite hot, but there was a little breeze, so when we sat in the shade on the deck of the clubhouse, it was quite cool. And very pretty, and peaceful.

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Bud's good friend Rudy came with me, as did my niece Heidi who was also very fond of him. We sat and shared stories and showed photos on our phones. Then it was time.

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Walking slowly up the strip, I took small amounts of his ashes and dribbled them through my fingers and the breeze took them and spread them across the grass. I walked around to the edge of the sugarcane where he used to go looking for rabbits, and I circled the entire property to all the places he liked to run, and around the pond he used to like to splash in when he was a little boy, and spread just a little bit of his ashes in all those places too. There was a tiny bit left, so I walked back to the clubhouse along the strip, letting him slip through my fingers, until by the time I got back, he was gone.

So, now he is no one place. He is everywhere.

Realistically I know that as time passes, the aching heart and burning eyes will fade away, and only the fondest of memories will remain. But it feels like that will never happen; that I will never get over his loss, so unexpectedly and at a young age. And this house is so quiet and dull without him I can hardly bear it.

Now, when I slice up sausages for dinner -- as I did last night -- I have to take great pains not to let any pieces of sausage fall on the floor. Whereas before, I always took great pains to make sure that some of the sausage did fall on the floor.

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 5

To all of you who sent best wishes for his recovery, and then condolences for his passing, I want to send a very sincere thank you. 

Sometimes it seems like all I ever do in this thread is blab on about my boy and his antics, and I've often felt silly posting about him and our joint adventures so much. But your messages have been a great comfort during the two weeks we held out home hope for his recovery, and even moreso in the days since his unexpected, shocking death.

So, I thank you all again, truly, for your kindnesses. 

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 7

Just been told about a dog who is in the same vet where Buddy passed away. Of course I know that this information coming to me at just this moment is not a coincidence. More like a deliberate plot or plan. And it isn't going to work.

She came in with a badly broken leg, and her owner didn't like the cost of fixing her up, so they abandoned her. So, she is an orphan. The vet is willing to amputate her leg and bear the cost of the operation, but there is supposedly a good chance that with more expensive surgery the leg can be saved.

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I don't know her name, her age, or anything else about her. But I remember that Buddy got his leg broken when he was only 3-4 months old, and his doctor at the time (named Kim) saved him from a life as a cripple, and turned him into a vital doggy who lived happily with his visibly scarred leg and ran after rabbits and never seemed to notice his fused kneecap. It pains me to think of this girl losing a leg just because there wasn't enough money to save it.

She is being looked after by an organization I've never heard of before, but who are apparently doing good things for waifs in this country. Tomorrow, I will go down and see her. That vet owes me one, and I very much doubt they will deny me the opportunity to see her. I will ask for whatever info they can give. I want to know how realistic is the attempt to save her leg. Then I will drive up to the Ocean Acres Animal Sanctuary (never heard of it before tonight) and ask about her there. And donate a few dollars. These days I don't have much to spare, but a little here, a little there..... Unfortunately, they are right across the other side of the island, but not really all that far from where Buddy and I used to go gliding. So distance really isn't an excuse.

No, the painfully obvious plan being plotted against me is not working. Firstly, it is much too soon and I am still in shock over my wee laddie. Second, she is (obviously) a girl and an old bachelor like me has always preferred boy-dogs -- I wouldn't know how to look after a little girl.

But I'd hate for her to lose that leg, and I will do what teensy, tiny bit I can to save it for her.

PS: I expected any number of plots and sneaky plans would surface, but I am surprised that they have started so soon. 

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 5

It's late in the afternoon, and I've done nothing all day. Promised to go look for the little girl with the bad leg, but woke up feeling terrible and just sat around hoping to start feeling better.

Contacted the OAAS and asked a question: Because of the delay, they won't know if the leg can be saved until the surgery begins, but according to the woman in charge, it is doubtful. She says the surgery is some time next week, exactly when will be decided by the vet. I'd have thought if delay could make the saving of the leg impossible, they wouldn't have waited until next week, but whaddo I know? I suspect the surgical team is volunteering their time, and other animals with better chances of a positive outcome will take precedence over an abandoned waif. It just annoys me to think that a puppy described as "super-sweet with such a nice personality" may suffer an amputation or even being euthanized just because her former owner decided she wasn't worth saving and never sought help getting her treated.

You know, I've been feeling physically rotten ever since Bud was injured, and today, the first day I don't have to worry about him any more, I feel rottener than ever. I am reliably informed that "Lots of people are donating to try and save the leg" of the little girl, so maybe the best thing for me to do is to leave her in their hands and not involve myself in another possibly lost cause.

I need to take some me time, and get myself back on an even keel.

A while back I committed to arranging a "ham-cutter" event at the club tomorrow, and I regret it now.

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I arranged to get the ham baked last night, and will collect the freshly baked bread loaves tomorrow, but I've got a nasty feeling that none of the guys are going to turn up. So I will have a $80 ham on my hands, and nobody to eat it.

And we won't even discuss what I was originally planning to do with the ham-bone.

1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

Also, ham freezes well.

Yes, there is that, thankfully. And I can use it in stir-frys.

As for the little girl, I've heard a little more news.  Apparently OAAS only heard about here late yesterday (Thursday) afternooon. So, they haven't had much opportunity to get her seen by the surgeon. Seems they don't like to operate on a weekend or just before a weekend, because the post-op support staff don't like to work weekends. I hear that they have received many donations specifically to try and save her leg, so they shouldn't have any difficulty paying for her care.

It's easy to get angry at her family who abandoned her at the vet when they heard what it would cost. Apparently they left fake contact info so they can't be found. But there are many people in this country who are financially stressed, and maybe I should be grateful that they even abandoned her at the vet where she might receive treatment, rather than just dumping her in a gully to die.

I'm still not feeling myself. 30 years ago, I was discovered to have an occasional arrhythmic heartbeat, brought on by stress. I'd just come out of hospital being treated for 2nd and 3rd degree burns, and being taken to surgery 12 times to have skin grafted over large areas. Which I think constitutes a stressful time.  Well, my heart has been beating like a bottle stopper in a hub-cap for the last 2-3 weeks, but I have essentially been ignoring it by main force of will, just pushing to get done what had to be done. Now, I think it's catching up with me, and I have to take some time out to try and decompress. So, I think vegging out for a while might do me some good.

So, expect some stupid posts about boring subjects for a while! If I see Dr. Kristi next week (do I? No, not until Tuesday 5th). Maybe I will ask her for something to relax me a bit. (I keep asking for medical marijuana but she keeps chasing me out of her surgery whenever I do!)

  • Love 3

She has a sweet face but I agree with @Browncoat - you'll know when you're ready.

As far as the leg, I don't know how many x-rays have been done, so that may be why they can't determine until they take a look inside.

It is more work to save than to amputate, as I'm sure you know (hence the cost).  I apologize for being all me,me,me  but my (late) girl Tai had to have her leg amputated (it was shattered beyond repair due to a fall - bone weakened due to cancer) and she lived for 2 years afterwards (she was an older gal) and got around very well. 

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  • Love 4
11 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

You can also freeze the ham bone and make pea soup with it when you’re in the mood…

Hmmm, pinto beans!

 

9 minutes ago, raven said:

She has a sweet face but I agree with @Browncoat - you'll know when you're ready.

As far as the leg, I don't know how many x-rays have been done, so that may be why they can't determine until they take a look inside.

It is more work to save than to amputate, as I'm sure you know (hence the cost).  I apologize for being all me,me,me  but my (late) girl Tai had to have her leg amputated (it was shattered beyond repair due to a fall - bone weakened due to cancer) and she lived for 2 years afterwards (she was an older gal) and got around very well. 

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This face! 😍😍😍😍

  • Love 1
Just now, raven said:

Tai had to have her leg amputated (it was shattered beyond repair due to a fall - bone weakened due to cancer) and she lived for 2 years afterwards (she was an older gal) and got around very well. 

I've been talking to some people today and they say that "She is young and will learn to run like the wind on three legs if that happens. There are many tripods on the island!" In which case: good! But obviously if the leg can be saved: better! I know it cost me $1,350.28 to save Bud's leg eight years ago (number stuck in my head because every time he was naughty I would tell him I wasted that much money), and it was a fairly simple break. So, I dunno what the cost would be today, especially if her leg isn't in very good shape. I just hope she doesn't have to be euthanized due to complications arising! If she is a 'tripod" so be it. 

Your Tai, by the way, was a cute little lady, with an air of inquisitiveness about her. Maybe she wasn't like that at all, but that's what I get from the photo.

The hard thing for me right now, is where ever I go, I run into people who have to hear the entire story all over again from the beginning, and inevitably I end up crying. The check-out girl at the supermarket whose name I didn't even know asked if what she'd heard was true. I still have to tell his favourite car-wash guy, who used to talk with him in the car while I shopped in the supermarket will want an explanation. He had loads of friends in the most unexpected places. And on the first Tuesday of next month, the Book-Tent ladies will be all over my arse because I got him from their sanctuary and those ladies always remain keenly interested in the lives of their alumni. They gave me one hell of a bollicking when he broke the leg as a puppy!

  • Love 5

I dunno what it is. I've only had two doggies because up until she was quite elderly, all dogs in the family belonged by default to my mother.

But my old boy Dotty was a very loving soul, gentle and sweet and everybody that ever new him loved him. I swear you could let a 2-year old child feed Dotty a biscuit and the child would be perfectly safe. And Buddy very much the same, except he was the lovable rogue that everyone was glad to see coming, and would steal your chicken leg right off your picnic plate if you didn't watch him.

Maybe because they traveled all over the island with me in my car  every day, and met so many different folks? Complete strangers would come up to the car and ask if they could pat my boys!

Or maybe I just got very lucky, twice. 

ETA: Rain now starting to fall, and tomorrow is described in the forecast as "Showers" with a 56% chance of precipitation. All the more ham for me, I guess...

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 4
43 minutes ago, Netfoot said:

Maybe because they traveled all over the island with me in my car  every day, and met so many different folks? Complete strangers would come up to the car and ask if they could pat my boys!

Oh for sure!  Tai - who was nosy inquisitive went to work with me - anywhere we could go.  She loved the car, unless we pulled into the vet's office.    Being able to do that with your four legged pal is special - they get used to people and people will love them.  Your bond strengthens until you know their every move.   Unfortunately, yes, it means that many more people you have to share your heartbreak with :(     From your stories, Buddy was definitely a lovable rogue - he had that look about him along with a charming smile.

I hope the more people you share with will end up helping you, even in a small way. 

Can't help you with the ham - pea soup, ick - though I have my mother's old hand crank meat grinder - if I had that much ham I could grind it up - who am I kidding, probably not, I'm too lazy. 

  • Love 5

@Netfoot - first of all, my heart goes out to you.

As my username suggests, I tend to read more than comment. For some reason, two days ago I thought to read this thread with Aug 1 being the first unread post. 

So, I read about the celebration of Budweiser's birthday (even if delayed one day; he probably didn't know) - a steak most humans would enjoy. It spoke to me of the love and bond between you.

And then there was the incident with the wild dogs . . . I read on, hoping all would be well.   When I got to the post from last Sunday, I screamed out loud "Oh No!" startling my sleeping 20 year old cat. Then I cried for the next hour or two. Because there is something about a connection between a human (especially those living alone) and their fur baby.

Then I thought, Bud taking you on long walks from the vet - did he know what was going to happen; is that why he buried the biscuit? 

Now, about this girl puppy (whom I have named Guinness because of the colour of her coat) how did she break her leg? It is entirely possible she is a tom boy. So I think you should not worry about gender. 

My final thought, take Dr K's prescription for a new puppy when you are ready and you meet the right one. You have so much love to give to a four legged friend.

Take care.

  • Love 5

Thank you, @luv2lurk, for your kind words. Yes, it was a terrible shock to a number of people here, not just myself. My niece and Dr. Kristi both admitted to crying at length, and several others got moist-eyed when they heard the news.

And of course he was a huge part of my life, like a child I suppose. And he still is. I am still behaving automatically as if he was still here. I was in the supermarket this week, spotted his favourite canned food was back in stock, and actually picked up a carton to purchase! Still cutting an extra slice of cheese when I make a sandwich, still checking to see he's already in bed before locking the door at night, still putting my dinner plate on the ground when I'm finished (because if you left a single grain of rice, he dispose of it for you).

Some of that has to go, before I can dream of another puppy. The raw edge left by his untimely death must wear smooth a little. Not sure there is a place for a puppy in my life, given my age and state of health.

I love the name Guinness for the little baby girl. I was thinking Molasses with Molly or Mol or even Mo for short, but her colouring better suits Guinness.  I have learned that they are calling her Princess or referring to her as "the little princess" but her forever name will be given to her by her forever family.

I don't know how the leg got broken; possibly she was struck by a car? That's how Buddy's leg got broken. That little escape-artist dug under the fence and made his getaway into traffic. It made him very careful around cars -- if I had to leave him at home, when I returned he would go up onto the veranda steps and wouldn't come down until he heard the handbrake ratchet on. (I would never drive into the yard until I saw exactly where he was.) As for the little princess, I can't imagine how else her leg might have been so badly broken. There is no suggestion that she was deliberately abused. So, unless she fell off a high place...

As for Bud burying the biscuit: He had a habit of burying food he didn't want to eat. He would never refuse the food, but would sneak off and bury it. The morning he buried the biscuit he ate them quite well, and there was no sign of decline in his behaviour at that point. But there are 14 Shirley biscuits in a pack, and he had already eaten ten of them, so I am thinking he just didn't want any more. Bud enjoyed Shirley biscuits, but nowhere near as much as sausages or chicken tenders, of which he wouldn't have blanched at 144, far less 14!

  • Love 3

Just soze you know: The "Ham-Cutter" event took place without any issues... except fewer people turned up than I'd hoped. Which wasn't entirely unexpected.

The ham was lovely

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and the bread was fresh from the bakery, with traditional mustard laid on as a garnish, as well as the hot pepper-sauce enjoyed by many in the Caribbean as an alternative. We did some serious damage to it, but there is plenty left. I may have some tonight with eggs for my dinner. Or simply dice some of it into a stir-fry. Even so, there will be plenty left to take up the remainder tomorrow for whoever wants to enjoy.

The field looked lovely, even though the grass needs cutting. I did a very thorough cut of the entire property about a week ago, doing my best to ensure the cuttings were directed off the property. It took three hours and left me with sunburn I wasn't expecting (but should have, because I always did burn easily from young, and the grafted skin really doesn't handle the sun any better). So, it did look very nice today. But I don't know when I will cut it again.

I wasn't feeling 100% yesterday, but I'm feeling a good bit better today. Because I aam letting the pressure dissipate and refuse to let myself get stressed about anything. And that's what I need to do. Just relax my ass and don't let anybody give me fatigue. Grass need cutting? Let me know when you've finished the job. The generator needs a part? I'll sit here next to my iced beverage while you go and buy it. Want a ham cutter? There is the ham, the bread and the knife.

I am Mr. Chill. 

  • Love 5

I am thrilled to hear that you are giving yourself permission to relax and de-stress. I hope tomorrow is even better than today. And I’m adding a ham to my shopping list! That looks delicious and I do want leftovers for a pot of pinto beans this winter. We have a southern pickled cabbage condiment called chow-chow which we put on pintos and I just found a good supply at our farmers market. And as you say, I love chopped ham in cheesy scrambled eggs. Hope you rest well tonight! 

  • Love 3

Don't remember ever cooking pinto beans. Googled them and the photos of the dishes look great. I've cooked red kidney beans, black beans, black-eyed peas / beans, lentil peas (which I think make a great soup), field peas, pigeon peas, as well as yellow, orange and green split-peas. Plus channa, which are consdered a bean by some folks, apparently. I am going to look out for pinto beans and assuming I can find some, I will give them a try. 

One thing I've always been curious about: what type of peas are split-peas before they get split? I guess I should ask Google.

Tired, so going to bed hours earlier than usual. And not even going to try to finish my book (Black Watch by Tom Renouf. An account of the author's teenage experiences as a member of the Highland Division during WW-II.) I find that I am rising earlier and earlier each morning and going to bed earlier and earlier each night, like I've had enough of the day, and just want to be done with it. 

But before I turn out the light: OAAS says Princess will NOT be euthanized. The vets say there is still a slim chance the leg can be saved but they can't know for sure until the surgery begins. She will be moved to the surgeon early next week and we will learn her fate then. Cost of surgery can't be determined until they see how much work is required. But apparently they have had a number of donations, so they think they have the money. If they need more, well, I have about $120 I can spare to help, and I'm sure others will step up.

"It's daybreak in the land of nod
So get to sleep you little sod.
Your dreams are waiting"

Thank you, 10cc. I'm gonna do just that

  • Love 5
On 9/25/2021 at 7:22 PM, Spunkygal said:

We have a southern pickled cabbage condiment called chow-chow which we put on pintos and I just found a good supply at our farmers market.

I remember a tasty condiment from my youth that went by the name of Chow-chow. It was similar to another condiment called Picalilli. We used to have that/them quite often, on various types of dish, or as an addition to a sandwich. My mum tried making a batch of her own version which came out quite well. As well as cauliflower, onion, etc, she also added local fruit picked just before ripe. I recall mango, Pomme Cythère (called 'golden apple' around here) and green pawpaw to name a few. The tricky part was cutting thr the fruits and veg to the right size. Not too big for convenience but not so small that pieces lost their unique flavour.

I haven't thought about that for must be 50 years.

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 2
4 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Hooray!

Indeed! But that is all that I know. I don't have any more information on her condition, any prognosis on how well the leg will work, where she is (probably at Gus Reader's place still), or what happens next for her.

But she has all four legs, and maybe some day she will get to chase after a rabbit.

Just spoke to my niece who says we must go and see her this weekend and take her some chicken tenders. More plotting.....

  • Love 4
44 minutes ago, Netfoot said:

Just heard that the little princess will be going to OAAS today. That's all I was told, but I am going to presume that it means her recovery is progressing well. If not, I'd like to think they wouldn't send her from the vet just yet.

GR8 news!  Now I think you should go to OAAS with Heidi to see the little Princess.  My little Princess Chula was rescued 7 years ago and today would have been her 11th birthday.  She crossed the Rainbow Bridge 6 months ago.  I've always had male doggies like you.  Chula was my first female and what joy she brought into my life for 7 years 😃😍😀.  I'm finally getting ready to rescue another female spaniel.    

  • Love 3

Just in:

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"Because the injury was three weeks old, it had started to heal. 

A really thorough investigation was done and it was decided not to re-break the leg and not to amputate. It will be in her best interest to let the healing continue. She just needs to recover from the investigative procedure, and she's good to go.

All she wants now is a forever home.

She has been abandoned once so please can someone give this lovely girl the home she deserves. She is such a sweetheart."

(The photo was apparently taken on her way to the vet.)

 

  • Love 5

Aaaaargh! 

I am not planning to take this dog home. Buddy isn't even two weeks gone and I am still smelling, hearing, feeling him all day long. It wouldn't be fair to bring a strange little girl into this house and ask her to compete with Bud's ghost for my affection. And it wouldn't be fair to Bud's memory to replace him so quickly.

I'm not even sure I should have another dog, anyway! I will be 66 next month, and I don't want to be the guy who abandons her for the second time. And I think a lot of people are ready to step up, because a lot of people were concerned about her. So it isn't like she can't find a home.

So, stop the plotting, everyone!

I just wonder how the leg will heal up without steps being taken to ensure it is straight and true. Buddy's leg came back so good I don't think he even realized he'd ever had an issue. I could see it sometimes in the way he sat. But I truly wonder if he knew. So, I'm just hoping she can walk about and run about and live a happy life. 

No, she has not been spayed, but they say they will have her spayed at their expense when she is ready. They didn't want to put her through another operation until she has fully recovered from the broken leg and regained her strength. At least this is what I'm hearing through intermediates.

  • Love 4
2 hours ago, Browncoat said:

She looks like a sweetheart -- such a pretty face, too!

Yes, she's very pretty, judging from the photographs. Heidi said she would go to see her this weekend, and I'd have tagged along. I promised them a few bucks to help pay for surgery, and I could hand it over then. But it seems Heidi has changed her plans because I have not heard any more about it.

 

  • Love 1

Saw Dr. Sean. He has reduced my MG medication from 30mg twice daily, to 30mg once daily for the next month, and then stop altogether for another month before going to him for a checkup in early December. This is good news. The 30mg was already a "negligible maintenance dose" he says. So, half of that, then nothing! So long as the symptoms don't resurface (highly unlikely, I'm told) then I will be in full remission (which is a way of saying cured without tempting fate quite so much). Seems the surgery I had a couple years ago, despite being painful and expensive, might have been worth it!

WhatsApped the news to Dr. Kristi, but just then came the Great WhatsApp collapse of 2021 so I have not received any response.

This is why huge, horrible companies like FecesBook which are run by aliens like SuckerBorg shouldn't be allowed to buy critical infrastructure like WhatsApp in the first place!

  • Love 4

With the return of WhatsApp came new efforts on the part of the conspiracy. Concluding that the sad Princess was not going to pluck my heartstrings sufficiently, I am now being told about Annabelle.

Chained with her three siblings and left to starve to death, Annabelle was the only one saved in time. She is quite skeletal. Her coat looks good, but that is after hours were spent "removing the ticks and fleas that were eating her alive" and a thorough bath. I've seen animals in worse shape than her, but she is still a sorry site. I could send photos but I won't.

The members of the conspiracy are not achieving their goal. Because all they are doing is telling me what I already know. 

There are an unlimited number of potentially wonderful doggies out there that need someone to care for them. I can't care for them all; I only have room for one doggie in my home, car, bed, life and heart. Right now, Buddy is still a part of my life. I bought a roti for lunch today and bought the extra roti skin to make it easier for Buddy to help me eat it. The new sheet/pillow set I bought for Buddy's homecoming is still wrapped and it will be a while before I will be able to use that. I have his Book-tent ladies to talk to tomorrow, and I still can't track down his favourite car-wash guy. So, it will be a while before I can look at getting a new doggie.

And when that time comes, Princess and Annabelle probably won't be available. But that's all right, because there will always be a cute little BBD* that wants to come home and teach me how to be just the daddy they need.

 

* BBD = Bajan Brown Dog. Or sometimes, Bajan Black Dog.

  • Love 5

I went down to visit the Book-Tent, and frankly, my eyes were wet from the time I left home. I drove up to the tent, and one of his particular favourite ladies came over, saying "Where is my little friend? Is he in there with you? Where is he?" I managed to choke out "I have bad news..." and she was "Oh, no! What happened?" So I had to tell the entire story. It was very upsetting. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but still no fun.

Then I went into the supermarket to buy some vegetables, and several times found myself about to pick up something Bud likes liked to eat, before catching myself. On the way out, I ran into a friend who wanted to know if Buddy was in the car. So the story got told again. It doesn't get any easier to tell with repetition.

On the way home I stopped for a weigh-in at Dr. Kristi's clinic. I nearly didn't, because I've been eating poorly for weeks and thought there would be a large increase. Finally realized that it makes no difference if I weigh now or later, in the end the scale doesn't lie. Dr. K. is travelling for the next three weeks, but the staff know me and what to do. To my surprise, I weighed exactly the same as last time. I guess all the sandwiches for lunch/dinner are compensated for by all the meals I've missed.

I have had a throbbing in my lower jaw for several days now, but it isn't getting better. If anything it's getting worse. There is no way I can wait three weeks for Dr. Kristi to return, so if it isn't any better by tomorrow, I will have to go to one of the other doctors there and see what they say. Dr. Gabrielle is a good doctor and I've consulted her in the past, but I usually go to Dr. Kristi because over the years she has become as much my friend, as my physician. To be honest, I've been feeling awful since Bud was first injured. Probably due to the stress.

Still no sign of Bud's favourite car-wash guy. I hear his girlfriend is visiting from overseas and will be here for several months, so he is working intermittently. And I just can't seem to catch him.

Edited by Netfoot
  • Love 1

Sometimes you have to act to stave off madness.  Especially of you see madness developing in yourself.

Twice today I was a blubbering wreck as I recounted the sad story of Bud's passing. That was, I'm sure, not a pretty sight. 

This evening, I started clearing up and reorganizing a large pile of "junk" in the house. During the process, I caught site of Buddy out of the corner of my eye. He was just laying down and dozing in the midst of chaos, as he has been known to do. I didn't think anything of it, but a second later spun around in the classic double-take move. Naturally he wasn't there. A while later, it happened again. Then, again. Five times in total.

I have to put a stop to this. 

I am eating a package of Bud's peanuts that I kept by the bed for him. Tomorrow, I am going up to the club and we will have a quiet word. I will thank him for being there for me during a particularly trying, lonely time in my life. I will tell him I will always love him and never forget him, but that I have to move forward. And that eventually, I will probably get another BBD to come and look after me. And tomorrow night I will sleep on the new sheets I bought for his home-coming that was not to be.

No, this does not mean that I will rush out and get another doggie. I have to think long and hard about the feasibility of that.  Nor does it mean I will never shed another tear for Buddy. After all, I still get moist in the eye if I think of my old sweetheart Dotty. But I am not going to let myself die of a broken heart. There are too many other things out there trying to kill me already. 

Heidi says I should go to OAAS and play with the doggies. Not because I am looking for a doggie to take home, but just to brighten up my life. And Ocean Acres is open from 10 to 4 every day for people to come and play with the doggies who need attention and affection. So, may be I'll do just that. Or maybe not. I don't have to decide right now.

I took a painkiller right after my last post, and I've had no trouble from my jaw since. I think the painkiller would have worn off by now -it was just Panadol. So maybe the problem is getting better? I'll see how I feel in the morning. I'd really prefer not to have to go to Dr. Gabby if I don't have to -- pleasant as she is.

Now, I'm going to roll over onto my right side, and read my book. And when it comes to mind that Buddy used to take violent objection to this, I will remind myself what a wonderfully funny little character he was. And when I wake up in the wee hours with a cold spot in my back, I will remember how prickly his fur could be, and pull up the covers a bit more. And before I change to the new sheets tomorrow, I have a bottle-stash under the bed to clear out. Along with what ever other treasures he had collected. And I will laugh at how he would get stuck trying to get out from under, and would need to be given a helping hand.

  • Love 5

It is so tough to move on from a great loss, especially such an unexpected one. He will always be with you and will own a big piece of your heart. It might be fun to go play with the doggies at OASS or it may be too much of a tug on your heart but you won’t know until you do it. Honey has been gone 1 1/2 years and while I still can’t consider another dog, I do enjoy playing with neighbors’ dogs and those rescue dogs at OASS would enjoy the attention.

Please let a professional tend to the pain in your jaw. I’d hate for an infection to get out of control. You might even need a toothie pulled. 

  • Love 3

Thank you, @Bonnie R. for your kind words. For the course of  Buddy's life and longer, I have been semi-estranged from my family for reasons I won't go into. He was my constant companion, always there when I needed someone, and never judgemental or critical. His loss is a terrible blow to my peace and sanity, and as @Spunkygal says, he will always be a part of me, and one of the better parts of me, perhaps. 

I've raised two doggies and everyone who knew them will tell you they were both wonderful boys. Dotty was an angel and Buddy was a devil, but they were both the sweetest, lovingest boys you could ever want to meet. So maybe I just got lucky twice, or maybe I did something right. Maybe the rightest thing I've ever done in my life.

Now, I have to move on. I would love to get another little boy-pup. Not now, but when I am ready. Because little boy-pups are what I know. I just have to decide whether it makes sense at my age.

I may visit Ocean Acres. I promised them a donation towards Princess's surgery and all of the ways to donate are so impersonal. Except going and handing it to them, and also patting a doggie or two. I even have a couple of Buddy's puppy-collars I can donate. And a pack of hand-towels. 

NOT a single twinge from my jaw this morning, fingers crossed. I don't think it is tooth-related. I was at the hygienist in August and she is usually good at spotting something my dentist needs to look at. And the pain was not near my teeth, but at the bottom of the jaw. But I will be watching out for further trouble and won't neglect myself, I promise. 

Almost finished with the pile of "junk". I chucked out the real junk and started a new pile for the good junk that isn't for chucking. Somehow the new, good-junk pile is bigger than the original pile!

  • Love 3

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