S17.E16 Qualifiers 3 Results

[Mr. Sparkle]

Two acts from the previous night’s show move on to the final round of the competition.

Airs Wednesday, August 24th, 8:00 PM EDT. 

[ams1001]

Well, my prediction was half right. I didn't even pick Nicholas for the top three.

Also it's been bugging me who Sara reminds me of and I finally figured it out - she looks like a younger Freema Agyeman from New Amsterdam (and other things I haven't seen).

[theartandsound]

Celia Muñoz was robbed!!!!!

[Diana Berry]

1 hour ago, theartandsound said:

Celia Muñoz was robbed!!!!!

Maybe she will get the wildcard

[Laurie14]

3 hours ago, ams1001 said:

Well, my prediction was half right. I didn't even pick Nicholas for the top three.

Also it's been bugging me who Sara reminds me of and I finally figured it out - she looks like a younger Freema Agyeman from New Amsterdam (and other things I haven't seen).

Been bugging me too. You're absolutely correct!

[rr2911]

For a moment, I actually thought that Celia Munoz and Nicholas Ribs were going to be the final 2.  That would've been some great television to see Simon's jaw drop!  

In the "What do I know department", I thought that Celia Munoz was more entertaining than the "yaaaawwwnn" Sara James.  Sara fits what AGT is looking for.

[Neet]

Most of the acts that were eliminated didn't have a chance in h-e-double hockey sticks (hello, Cline Twins) to go through, and everyone knew this, so it's a hypnotic kind of magnetism that draws people into sitting through a whole results show to be confirmed of their own suspicions. In contrast, it takes a succinct minute or two of watching the news to be up to date in how all citizens should hate each other and things I've never thought about are getting worse.

Kodi Lee, Teddy Swims, and Neal Schon - I was daydreaming of how to impress Kodi's mother, who somehow hasn't become geriatric from stress after all this time. It probably takes zero game, since she's quite responsive to men making random noises and rolling their eyes into the back of their head. That's it, the gym membership is cancelled. Teddy Swims is one of those names that sounds familiar despite not knowing him from anything, but he was good vocally. Looks pretty rough for 29, though. That's probably from donning a large beard or the tattoos are on the wrong part of his head, as if there's a right way to do those. He also looks like an even more drugged up Fez from Euphoria, if anyone watches that. Upon checking his Instagram page, he was already practising this song months ago, which was reflected in the performance where Kodi felt like an afterthought. Decent stuff, though.

Nicholas Ribs and Sara James go through to the finals, wrapping this up an hour later than necessary. Sara must have some secret fire-breathing talent that she performs during commercial breaks, because the singing is boring as hell and the crowd was going wild before her name was called. The sound of the cheers were too high-pitched to be emboldened men, so it's a mystery why everyone loves her.

 

[InternetToughGuy]

I got nothing to say, which I guess has been my schtick since the beginning, but I just don't care today. This was another time of confusing AGT with WWF due to the outcomes likely being predetermined as well as boredom making me wrestle with the idea of ending it all, though being that dramatic over a TV show that isn't Degrassi is a bit much. The results show always feels twice as long due to nothing happening, this new format is terrible. If the performance shows were as long as the 3 minute recaps they show on the results shows, they might actually be tolerable, though due to loss of advertising revenue, Terry would have to scream "Drink Coke!" over the whole thing, thus rendering it unwatchable. There's not really anything to say for most of these shows, since breaking down who got eliminated and when like I'm analyzing stats on ESPN SportsCenter would be pointless.

The Simon and Howie segment was funny, though I may be influenced due to them being in their 60s and thus the peak of male attractiveness. Seeing Kodi Lee's mother brought me back to the fond memories from a few seasons ago of watching her segments with my hand in my pants like Al Bundy. Treasure those moments. To be vaguely serious for a moment, Kodi's career seemed pretty exaggerated, since I remember checking his site months ago and he played at a winery in the middle of nowhere and that was about it, so without the AGT banner reuniting a dozen people no one would care about on their own, he doesn't seem very big. The Journey guitarist looked great for 68, he might be able to get a hot young wife whose reason for being with him was only 97% for the money. He did look way better than the guy covered in shitty tattoos, which kind of goes without saying. It's funny how you'd have to assume this song is like 70 years old due to how he makes being on a Detroit train at midnight sound relaxing. The modern reality is the odd dichotomy of being afraid of getting murdered at every moment while being convinced that 99% of the city's population is in prison.

Nicolas deserved his spot, while Sara is being given the undeserved worship, which makes me huff like a teen girl who won't say what's wrong. 5 days off from this crap sounds great.

[Mr. Sparkle]

Not much to say, except I started it late so I got to fast-forward through a lot of the filler. Only slightly surprised that Hayden made the top 5 and Nicholas is advancing. 

[PBnJay]

15 hours ago, theartandsound said:

Celia Muñoz was robbed!!!!!

Agree. This was the stunner of the night for me, sort of like the stunner last week when the one guy got voted through instead of the other person. I've already forgotten who they were.

My takeaway from the night was, I'd pay to see Kodi Lee, and that's not something lightly said. Because I wasn't listening until the song started, I didn't know who was singing with him. It wasn't Jelly Roll or Post Malone, so Teddy Swan is now a new name for me. Best part of the night, even though it did go on kinda long.

[Neet]

34 minutes ago, PBnJay said:

My takeaway from the night was, I'd pay to see Kodi Lee, and that's not something lightly said. Because I wasn't listening until the song started, I didn't know who was singing with him. It wasn't Jelly Roll or Post Malone, so Teddy Swan is now a new name for me.

I was going to say that Teddy's virality is probably similar to Jelly Roll, as they're both covered in face tattoos (and Roll is obese), so everyone's shocked that they can sing. Post Malone waited to get famous before ruining his appearance, which is slightly commendable. There are plenty of rap ""artists"" with face tattoos, but since they do nothing but grunt and bark their own name alongside expletives, anyone with talent who looks this way is even further enhanced.

[PBnJay]

10 minutes ago, Neet said:

I was going to say that Teddy's virality is probably similar to Jelly Roll

Cool that you know who Jelly Roll is. Thumbs up from me!

[rr2911]

21 hours ago, PBnJay said:

Cool that you know who Jelly Roll is. Thumbs up from me!

I wouldn't know Jelly Roll from a Tootsie Roll!  🤣

[kirklandia]

22 hours ago, PBnJay said:

Cool that you know who Jelly Roll is. Thumbs up from me!

Jelly Roll cool from a century ago:

[Mr. Sparkle]

I was thinking Jelly Roll Morton. If there's a new one, I'm old. 

[PBnJay]

You guys are so funny. This is Jelly Roll, he's been on Kimmel, and his song Son Of A Sinner hit hot on the Top 100 charts. Also a rapper, he's now the biggest thing in country music with that song, and has played the Ryman, a gigantic achievement. And to discredit those Chapel Hart singers who said no one looks like them so they can't make it in Nashville, NO ONE looks like Jelly Roll in country music and he's made it huge.

[Mr. Sparkle]

Yup, I'm old. 

[Sox03]

Last night was not unlike last week, when we sat on the couch and said, “the second winner is definitely going to be the magician, even though he wasnt that good and gets insane reviews by the judges. Wash, rinse and repeat.

James and Munoz were so far and away the best 2 acts, and the mediocre magician predictably goes through in the weekly rigged-fest.

I used to complain about ventriloquists being overrated, but now the best ventriloquist Ive ever seen gets stiffed by a “magician” whose “tricks” are mostly the benefit of an overhead projector. Seriously? Not sure if he or last weeks magician was “better.”

It seemed like the season had a lot of very good acts that really stepped up their game and got creative, but as I watch these bizarre “semifinal, prelim, Idunno” rounds, picking people to go to the Finals in literally the second round of acts, it seems like theres barely 3 each week that are even competitive. Yep, rigged again.

Why did 180 (?) ish acts “go through” only to have only 55 perform again? To whom does this make sense?

[PBnJay]

1 hour ago, Sox03 said:

now the best ventriloquist Ive ever seen gets stiffed by a “magician” whose “tricks” are mostly the benefit of an overhead projector.

I'm hoping she gets a Vegas show on her own, without being tied to one of Simon's contracts. 

[rr2911]

4 hours ago, Sox03 said:

James and Munoz were so far and away the best 2 acts, and the mediocre magician predictably goes through in the weekly rigged-fest.

I actually thought James' performance wasn't as good as before.  I didn't like her rendition of Rocket Man (probably I'm alone in this).  I mean, why does a 14 year old have to attempt to sound sexy and smokey....lol?  Ribs wasn't as good as the other magician that went through, but based on entertainment value, I have to go with the him.  As far as rigged?  I agree with you that there is something going on behind closed doors.  However, I think AGT targets certain contestants they think looks the like a "winner" whether it be looks or a sob story, and they go with that.  AGT's "pick" isn't guaranteed to win, but they do try to influence the viewers.  Remember Simon kept making a big deal that James came all the way from Poland?  He must have mentioned about 3 times!  Anyway, this is what I think.

[PBnJay]

On 8/26/2022 at 8:34 PM, rr2911 said:

they do try to influence the viewers.

Like Simon stupidly buzzing acts he's already more than once voted to go through to the lives. And when judge voting isn't supposed to matter.