S04.E18: The Couples Tell More

[ALittleShelfish]

22 episodes of this would take us thru the end of the year, roughly, and while there is CERTAINLY enough material for that many episodes, oh my god that would be painful to sit thru.  TLC already asks a lot of us.  

Although I'd watch 22 episodes of David raging at his laptop because we "don't understand" and are apparently all morons.

[Baltimore Betty]

On 6/16/2020 at 2:42 AM, Takitaki said:

Moreover, no such woman is eligible to enter the United States of America on a K1 or spousal visa".

What the what!???

He knows this fact but still pursues Lana, begging her meet him in person, (are they risking jail time?), if there is no chance of getting Lana or any of the other women he has gotten "engaged" to then what's his game?

[Takitaki]

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

What the what!???

He knows this fact but still pursues Lana, begging her meet him in person, (are they risking jail time?), if there is no chance of getting Lana or any of the other women he has gotten "engaged" to then what's his game?

What I wrote was a joke, not an actual law 🙂 but I doubt we'll ever see Lana stateside regardless!

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, Takitaki said:

What I wrote was a joke, not an actual law 🙂 but I doubt we'll ever see Lana stateside regardless!

Well it sounded so real, it would have been hysterical to see the Ukrainian police haul David and his Coat of Many Leathers off to the Gulag!

I am 100% sure Lana will not be cruising the USA in an RV with David, ever.

[AZChristian]

2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I am 100% sure Lana will not be cruising the USA in an RV with David, ever.

Well, maybe.  If she can get a visitor visa and the RV is big enough to also sleep her husband and hockey-playing son (which I suspect are the two biggest reasons she hadn't met up with David until TLC paid enough to make it worth her while).

[Squishy Tomato]

What was the point of this episode? Why not make Part 2 of the Tell All an hour longer? Did the producers find a reel of video that accidentally got left out of the original tell-all?

Also, maybe I'm going crazy but I was sure the scenes with David's friends were already shown on the previous episode. The questions I'd like to know are how did David meet the guy with the Ukrainian wife? Did she trigger his fetish for Ukrainian women, or did he meet one or both of them through his catalogue dating experiences? 

I wasn't a fan of errka during the season but she came across as a really sweet girl during the tell all. I think by the time That Most Useless Host gave her the chance to speak, her mind had gone blank of all the things she actually wanted to say. They could have given her a one on one interview without stephanie and her banshees. Did stephanie choose the most ugly people possible to be her friends?  (Inside and out). Stephanie waving "Yes, bye-bye" (sorry that was last episode) when Errka said steph always had to have the last word showed exactly what a nasty piece she is. Oh and it's my experience that narcissistic people love to label other people as narcissists.

I don't care for Ash but I totally agree that in the moment when he was upset about screwing up his presentation, he didn't need avery to be harping on and on about what he did wrong. It came across as mean and arrogant. Tell him later he was a douchebag but in the moment...be kind. Give him a hug. Plus the moment anyone starts talking about "energy" in a non physical sense I immediately roll my eyes. 

Tom's letter was nasty and Farcey did well not to read it. I hope HE ends up miserable and alone when he's 55. 

[AZChristian]

6 minutes ago, Squishy Tomato said:

Did stephanie choose the most ugly people possible to be her friends?  (Inside and out). 

. . . 

I don't care for Ash but I totally agree that in the moment when he was upset about screwing up his presentation, he didn't need avery to be harping on and on about what he did wrong.

Regarding Stephanie:  Birds of a feather flock together.

. .  .

Regarding Ash:  I thought Avery was VERY supportive when he stepped out of the "seminar"; she went out with him and when he said he was totally lost, she said, "Talk about the love languages."  She knew he was familiar with that concept, so she was throwing him a life ring. 

Anything she said later about what he said at the seminar was fair game.  It was sexist . . . and SO badly presented.  And he was telling her that she had no soul and was heartless.  

He never acknowledged that he was an idiot.  Everything was everybody else's fault.

[deirdra]

1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

Regarding Stephanie:  Birds of a feather flock together.

. .  .

Regarding Ash:  I thought Avery was VERY supportive when he stepped out of the "seminar"; she went out with him and when he said he was totally lost, she said, "Talk about the love languages."  

I thought the same.  And Avery didn't know he would screw up the love languages too, making them sound even more sexist. He had presumably used the plagiarized "love languages" speech to lure her and thought it would be easy for him to smoothly recite again. She waited until they were back in private to try to explain where he went wrong; constructive criticism.  It then became clear that he didn't just get nervous and mess up his talk, he actually believes some of the crap he spews. What probably bothered him most was that Avery was controlling the conversation and he believes the man should always be in control, not unlike Usman.  Sure she could have waited until the next day, but how could she enjoy a nice dinner and roll in the sack with a sexist pig and self-proclaimed relationship "expert" who cannot even read a crowd?  Her choices were to air her grievances while they were fresh in her mind or tell him she needed to be alone until tomorrow (which he was also mad about).

Edited June 28, 2020 by deirdra

[Squishy Tomato]

16 hours ago, AZChristian said:

Regarding Stephanie:  Birds of a feather flock together.

. .  .

Regarding Ash:  I thought Avery was VERY supportive when he stepped out of the "seminar"; she went out with him and when he said he was totally lost, she said, "Talk about the love languages."  She knew he was familiar with that concept, so she was throwing him a life ring. 

Anything she said later about what he said at the seminar was fair game.  It was sexist . . . and SO badly presented.  And he was telling her that she had no soul and was heartless.  

He never acknowledged that he was an idiot.  Everything was everybody else's fault.

He did eventually acknowledge he was an idiot, but at the time he only had a bruised ego and was reacting on emotions. He wasn't able to process what she was saying. I'm not saying I don't think he's a doofus because he is, or that his behaviour was good...as a relationship coach he ought to be able to manage his responses way better than this....and his "you're heartless" rant was melodramatic bordering on abusive...but to me, avery did come across as arrogant and superior, and l can totally understand why her tone riles people up, and why in that moment Ash didn't want to be attacked in that manner. 

[cynicat]

 

18 hours ago, Squishy Tomato said:

I don't care for Ash but I totally agree that in the moment when he was upset about screwing up his presentation, he didn't need avery to be harping on and on about what he did wrong. It came across as mean and arrogant. Tell him later he was a douchebag but in the moment...be kind. Give him a hug. Plus the moment anyone starts talking about "energy" in a non physical sense I immediately roll my eyes. 

She probably could have been a little more empathetic and kinder, but that talk was SO sexist.  I personally think that's the moment she decided this relationship might not work.  Either then, or when he called her heartless.

If you haven't seen any of these videos by the psychologist Dr. Kirk Honda, you should at least watch  the one about his reaction to Ash's seminar.  It's freaking genius.  

[deirdra]

Ash's behaviour also disproved his theory that women were the emotional and squiggly-brained ones.

[Mothra]

5 hours ago, deirdra said:

Ash's behaviour also disproved his theory that women were the emotional and squiggly-brained ones.

Yes.  Avery's "cruel and cold" response to his failed seminar had him in tears.  I used to feel that way when I had PMS.

That said, I think Avery  is a little cold, I have some sympathy for Ash.  When someone you care about has had an enormous failure--on TV, yet--the time to talk about what he did wrong isn't immediately after the flop.  He knew he'd done a shitty job, and he was embarrassed and ashamed.  I agree with Ash that that was when he (like a woman in his opinion) needed a hug, not a dissection of where he went wrong and questions about whether he really believed what he said in his miserable presentation.

I wonder how warm Avery is to her children.  When a child, even or especially through his/her own fault) has an embarrassing failure, like forgetting lines in the school play, that isn't the time to remind the child that he should have rehearsed more and did he really think he did a good job.  The kid needs a hug.

The problem with discipline (and I'm including trying to straighten Ash out about where he went wrong) is that it is not effective unless it can be delivered in the moment.  Avery raising her hand during the seminar and asking Ash if he really believed whatever it was--giving him the chance to back it up or more fully explain what he meant--would have been helpful to him and at the same time drawn attention to what she thought he was doing wrong.